How do you stop hating yourself when you're ACTUALLY a bad person and 99% of people would agree that you're correct in your self-assessment? Self-hate is unproductive and leads to nothing, I know that. It's still almost impossible to get rid of it unless you own the things you did and embrace them, which isn't the path I want to take. No religious salvation bs, please. I feel like most "unlearning self-hatred" things are directed towards absolute OCD pussies who never did anything wrong in their lives, or if they did, it was very minor. But there's nothing out there for trademark bad people with legitimate reasons for their self-hatred. Except for religious groups trying to groom and blackmail you.
>>34069331So, you want to carry on being a bad person but not feel guilty about it?
>>34069331What features of yourself do you consider bad? What makes you a bad person? Do you actually want to change those features? Just start making small improvements wherever you can to actually be a better person. You don't have to suddenly love yourself or anything like that. Just change your focus. Instead, just focus on trying harder to be better.
>>34069470No? Do you lack reading comprehension mate>>34069473No features. Specific actions I've taken. They are done and immutable
>>34069331Don't, just stop behaving like a huge fagYou don't have to "learn to love yourself" to stop fucking people over
>>34069504This wasn't about self love. You clearly don't understand what I was even seeking advice for and how self-hatred impacts your daily life. Also, I don't fuck people over, anything bad I did is in the past.
>>34069489So just don't do those actions. Instead of focusing on how evil you've been in the past just focus on what you can do right. Focus on the better choices that you can make.
>>34069530Is that really how normies think? It doesn't work, you know. The self-hatred and the memories stick with you and you're unable to form healthy relationships or be happy about any success in life
hey i overcame this by writing everything down and being understood by others
Be a good person, do good things, be honest and polite. It is not hard to be positive and decent person.
>>34069539Sounds good, but what I did is incomprehensibly evil, which means that open communication would be a net negative and instigate a witch hunt-at best. I do appreciate your input, though
>>34069489So what frekn actions were taken Bet it was nothingburger
>>34069543Spoken like someone who doesn't understand what true guilt is yet
>>34069331You should read up on neuroplasticity if you haven't. The only real answer you'll ever find to this topic is just that. The only way to counteract it is catching yourself as your thinking or telling yourself something negative and choosing to tell yourself something positive jnstead. There's no magic pill or therapy session that can fix or change it, you have to force the change onto yourself
>>34069546Excuse me? My life has put me through hell and back, and I have every reason to hate but I choose love and to be kind. Tf is your problem? Who pissed in your cherrios?
>>34069555So what you're saying is you're le victim and you don't understand guilt or self-hatred, or what it's like to be someone who did morally despicable things. Why even comment? "Just be a decent person and choose love and to be kind" is not even what this post was about, you're just preaching empty sermons
>>34069331Stop doing the things that make you a bad person.What a stupid question lol.
>>34069545I actively choose to be a good person and do right by the one's I love. That even includes and shutting down online faggots trying to make dick jokes and 'esexual advances'. Won't find me sending/receiving dick pics or sucking anyone off. Or talking dirty. I HAVE SELF RESPECT AND RESPECT FOR THE LOVE I SHARE WITH MY PARTNER (not plural)
>>34069560That doesn't solve the core issue of self-hatred, but maybe people without a solid moral system can't ever comprehend this. You don't have to actively do bad things to consider yourself a bad person for the things you did.>>34069549That would demand a level of forgiveness and understanding I don't possess
>>34069558I do. It took alot of years of therapy and self hate to be able to redirect those emotions into positivity. Not everyone can do this and I do in fact know people who are terrible agressive, arrogant, full of hate and they show it in every aspect. Like my ex.. god bless... you sound just like his rude ass. No wonder this post sent rage through me.
>>34069570Your ex likely has more moral integrity than you do.
>>34069331The old church maxim "hate the sin, love the sinner" can be relevant here. Regret and feel bad about the bad things you've done, but recognize that they are only a part of yourself, not all. Find in yourself the things that deserve approval and define your "selfhood" by them. "I am an imperfect and weak person who has done some bad things, but I am also the person with enough morality in me to try my best to be better."
>>34069569>That doesn't solve the core issue of self-hatred,It does. If you are comfortable with yourself for making an honest effort to change and live honestly, you'll have less and less reasons to hate yourself and can learn to forgive yourself for what you've done in the past.I don't know why you bothered posting here if you didn't actually want any advice. Keep doing what you're doing and feeling like shit about yourself.
>>34069584The whole point is that I already made the effort and changed. The self-hatred is still there, no matter what. That's what the post was about.
>>34069590Have you really, though?You've been unreasonably antagonistic and rude to the people in this thread.Maybe cutting that behavior out and making a concerted effort to be kind to strangers could be what you need to fully forgive yourself.You think of yourself as an asshole. Stop acting like one, and you might feel better about yourself.
>>34069596Nah, 4chan is the only place I can vent out my frustration at normie advice that's genuinely bad and non-helpful, or just repeating platitudes.
>>34069603I've been using this site for a long time, almost twenty, and I have to tell you that just isn't healthy.You're spending your free time festering in bad feelings and petty anger. You aren't really venting anything at all.You're choosing to stew in your own negativity, and whether or not you care to admit it, the negative feedback you get here is reinforcing your poor self-image.
>>34069583That's reasonable, it's the type of mindset I'm attempting to develop. I feel like if I had only a single person who knew everything about me and loved me regardless, my self-hatred would cease immediately
>>34069607You may want to give therapy a try.
>>34069610I have been in therapy for many years, and hell no.
>>34069574KEK The one who devised and plotted a hateful act of revenge for what? Giggles? lmao okkkkk. Maybe you should talk to someone who recognized the fuckary, told others about it and made an actual effort to right the ones who plotted the evil?
>>34069489>No? Do you lack reading comprehension mateWell, then, what is it that you want? You're asking how a bad person can stop hating himself. There's no other possible interpretation of that other than that you intend to carry on being a bad person but want to feel better about it. If that's not what you mean, what do you mean?
>>34069331Anyone who calls you a "bad person" is actually saying you are being a bad person to THEM.
I used to be a bad person because I didn't know any better. Now that I'm living in alignment with my true values I can forgive myself for acting that way in the past. For me the only way was, can you guess, love. Approaching that old version of me with love, trying to understand what lead to me committing the mistakes, and finally forgiving myself the way you would forgive a child when they act up because they're in pain. It does require you to admit to yourself what you have done, and fully facing it. Say it out loud. Write it down. It takes a lot of time but putting it into words over and over again moves it from your amygdala to your prefrontal cortex and it opens you up emotionally for better processing. And make sure you're not telling yourself that you're a bad person. You've done bad things, but it's important to be careful with "I am" sentences, they define your reality.
>>34069470Yes, and you need to kys pronto >>34069331Whadya do buddy?
>>34069544I bet what you did was minor and unimportant
>>34069536>>34069546you can literally think of any position that would lead you to hate yourself, but the effect will always be the same where you're just sitting there, self-inflicting and the only outcome is a feeling of pain and guilt. it's obvious that you have learned, it's obvious that you will no longer make those same mistakes, so what's the point of self-inflicting pain? this isnt how you learn, and if you wire your brain to learn through pain then you will lead yourself into situations that you have placed yourself in before without even realizing it.think about it, the fact that you feel guilty now is because something significant happened. if you truly are a bad person, you did things to people without even thinking about it, not realizing the consequences. you realize the consequences now because you've done something significant. but what about all those small bad things you've done with no remorse at the time? you didnt have anything substantial to happen to you before, so you didnt learn from it. the true and only way to move forward is so that, when you're feeling normal and not bad about yourself, you understand there are ways to behave that are aligned with your morals that do not involve you having to feel so fucking sorry for yourself. the feeling of sorrow is not necessary but attempting to live your life avoiding regret is the most important way you have to live from now on.
>>34069331just shrug. it doesn't matter. religion and morality isn't real and no one cares. pedophiles and bankers run the world and no one stops them. why hold yourself to moral standards if it's just gonna hold you back? who gives a shit what people think if they're never gonna punish the people on their team that break the rules?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Concept_of_the_Political
>>34069331>It's still almost impossible to get rid of it unless you own the things you did and embrace them, which isn't the path I want to take.Why? Who says that owning the things you did and embracing them that it must somehow mean you will double-down on doing wrong or evil? Because truth is when you embrace that’s part of who you are, you don’t double-down on being bad, you dial it back and stop being bad so much. You take control over the negative shit instead of having it take control over (you). That’s how it’s done, OP. You can’t hope to control your inner demons if you don’t first own them and put them on a leash.
>>34069331Make restitution for your past evil acts, resolve to never do them again and to do better in the future, and accept that you're gonna carry that weight.
>>34069590>The whole point is that I already made the effort and changed.(NTA) I have to agree with the other anon: based on your conduct in this thread so far, you come across as a rude, obnoxious, aggressive piece of shit. Maybe if you stopped being so angry and so unpleasant to people all the time, you'd feel better about yourself? You're also making it difficult for people to help you by constantly talking in abstracts. It would be a lot easier if you told us what, precisely you actually did in the past that made you dislike yourself so much, what you have done to try to change, in what ways you feel it hasn't worked (other than that you're still rude and aggressive to people who are trying to help you), and in what ways you are trying to atone. Right now we're just guessing.
