[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

Name
Options
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


[Advertise on 4chan]


File: 465485.png (1.44 MB, 1108x1118)
1.44 MB
1.44 MB PNG
i am 24 and have never had a boyfriend. i feel trapped inside my own head and don't know what to do. everything i try ends in failure.

can someone please help me understand this? or how to fix it? i have awful luck and i feel like there is an invisible barrier stopping me from finding love. i am petrified of turning 25 and still being like this. i feel brain damaged and humiliated.

i have tried:
>hobby groups
>dating apps
>networking events
>ask friends for anyone they know
>cold approaches
and nothing is fruitful.
to be fair, i am a bit ugly. but i have my life together to the best of my ability- i'm employed, i'm social, im educated. i go on dates with guys, and they ghost me, or make fun of me, or say they're not ready for a relationship. i don't like begging guys to stay with me or coming across as desperate but i have been feeling myself do this more often recently. only one man in my entire life has "chased" me, but it was because i approached him. and then he dumped me anyway.

i went to college during covid and i think it nuked my social life to an extreme degree. but at the end of the day, i know i am the only one at blame. everyone else is doing fine. how do i get there?

i wish i could force love. if i could i would.
>>
Ur a chick just sexmaxx
And don't let people humiliate you, tell them fuck you too then send em off
>>
>>34070738
>sexmaxx
what is that?

im not interested in sex outside of a relationship/love. i physically cannot be sexually interested if i don't have feelings for him and trust him
>>
>>34070743
It means, look like you give the sexx but don't give the sexx
>>
>>34070786
what purpose does that serve
>>
>>34070820
You'll attract a buncha moids, ?? Dumbass
>>
>>34070828
what does it look like
and why would i want to attract men who just want sex
>>
>>34070834
So you can be the one making fun of them and not the other way around?
>>
this is hopeless
>>
>>34070834
Stop replying to namefags, since they're often blatantly mentally ill and desperate to any kind of attention.
>>
>>34070893
can you help me then?
>>
>>34070893
Not me, no. I just use namefag to collect my posts. I don't give a fuck about attention from any of you faggots
>>
Is this normal?
>>
>>34070666
I think a lot of people, both male and female, are in the same boat these days. Keep your chin up and don't get discouraged because nothing has worked so far - there's no guarantee things will stay that way, especially if you're actively socializing and putting in the effort.
>>
>>34071057
i dont know anyone else who has struggled like this
>>
>>34071068
So what if you don't? Doesn't mean you're doomed to being single forever, just that you haven't met the right person yet.
>>
>>34071075
what if i fucked up so badly that i missed that person? my chances get worse and worse every day i let this continue
>>
>>34071085
>what if i fucked up so badly that i missed that person?
You're not looking for the perfect person, but the right person. Meaning, you're not looking for one guy in the entire world, but one guy who you click with, out of many guys you could potentially click with.
>my chances get worse and worse every day i let this continue
That's unreasonable. Why would your chances decrease over time? If anything, the longer you are actively socializing and looking, the higher your chances of meeting the right person are.

If it makes you feel better, this experience is fairly common for guys.
>>
>>34071159
>Why would your chances decrease over time?
running out of people? missing connections, losing time from my life

it doesn't make me feel better at all
>>
>>34071335
ok i take the bait
you say you have tried approaching and even dating apps
how in the fuck could you not find a single dude as a girl?
you admit being a bit ugly, so please for gods sake tell me you actually approached ugly men too, and not chad looking guys and then went suprised nothing sticked
i cannot see that if you actually tried it with realistic standards that you couldnt find anything, bc males are way more desperate in the area of dating nowadays, dating apps alone is literally a huge shithole for men and even the ugliest women get tons of likes
>>
>>34071383
>so please for gods sake tell me you actually approached ugly men too,
yea, i hate calling them "ugly" but they would be shorter than me, balding/bald, etc, but nothing ever worked out or happened. even if they were nice there was just no friendship
>>
>>34071407
so youre saying you tried everything in the book and had realistic standards and expectations as a girl and you still couldnt find anything?
can you answer this honestly with a yes? i still have my doubts bc as i said, dating is way more desperate on the male site, chances you couldnt find anything if you were realistic and actually tried seems pretty low to me
>>
>>34071430
yes
i will say i have bad luck straight up. and when my feelings get hurt, i go into these months long hibernations where even the thought of a new infatuation makes me sick
>>
>>34071448
well then you cant complain if you isolate yourself for months
i can see that it isnt as easy for girls if they are ugly, but i still cant imagine that its impossible bc ugly people, especially women, get laid all the time clearly
>>
>>34071457
im not isolating, but if i dont go for a guy i don't get approached at all
ill go out with my pretty friends and they get flirted with while i get ignored
>>
>>34071464
if you go out with girls way prettier than yourself what exactly did you expect?
i kinda get its shit but for real what did you expect lol?
i dont really think the bar scene is a good way to meet a good partner anyways, bar scene seems to be all about sex, its obvious why hot girls will be approached a lot
>>
>>34071489
i dont expect anything i just expect to hang out with my friends but they get pulled away even if they dont want it
im just saying. men aren't interested in me whether im alone or with others
>>
>>34071512
dude if you go out with way prettier women, ofc men will generally be interested in those

there are plenty of desperate men, for gods sake are you fat? i dont believe you tried everything bc like i repeatedly said now, the male site is just way more desperate and even if youre ugly or a plain jane it shouldnt be impossible if you actually had realistic standards and tried
>>
>>34071521
right but no one appraoches me when imsolo either
idk i havent felt this desperation at all. im not fat, i work out and take care of myself. my standards are normal and low for a woman my age
>>
>>34071542
stop expecting to be approached by chad or any guy if you give zero signals and look like a cold biatch, i wouldnt want to appproach girls like that either

if you want to be approached give guys hints you want to be approached, eye contact smiles whatever the fuck women usually do
>>
>>34071554
ive tried eye contact
doesn't work
i also dont expect to be approached, but men seem so uninterested when i approach
>>
>>34071573
dude you cant tell me you actually tried this on 100s of men who were not all chad

it does ofc not always work, bc other men can already have gfs etc too, and men are often times scared to approach too, girls smiling and then approaching some girls are bitches and then act like why are you approaching me i was just smiling bc i was nice etc

just be on a look for guys looking for a gf, i know they are out there, and give those signals or approach even, there has to be one who would date you
>>
>>34071593
not hundreds no
i don't think anyone normal has done that
>>
>>34071600
so then you clearly havnt tried that hard
>>
>>34071603
ok
>>
File: 134235467.gif (73 KB, 498x380)
73 KB
73 KB GIF
>>34071621
>>
>>34071627
why is that a gif
>>
>>34071629
no idea bro i just saved a random pepe that portrayed the emotion i wanted to portray, and it happened to be a gif
>>
>>34071635
are you mad at me
>>
>>34071636
no i just think you are silly
>>
>>34071638
why
>>
>>34071643
you make a grand thread about help me im gurl who cant get laid even if i try so hard
some guy finally points out you didnt try so hard and then you write ok
like dude wtf
>>
>>34071648
i think i tried really hard
you just don't believe me
>>
>>34071653
you were literally admitting that you didnt try that hard after i asked you, you made the >>34071600
i just know you didnt do that much, some guys literally ask out 100s till they finally get a gf
>>
>>34071658
i don't count my failures
>>
>>34071665
from your replies to me seems you didnt actually try that hard, i believe you that you maybe approached 2 or 3 men maybe a few more idk, maybe made some signals but after it didnt work out seems like you just quit immediatelly and literally isolated yourself again for months like youve said ...

some people just have shit garbage luck in attracting a partner, and have to try harder, i am in a similar position
>>
>>34071673
i haven't quit
>>
>>34071685
no but you didnt try that hard and literally admitted to isolating yourself for months, why backpaddle?
>>
>>34071687
i said it wasn't physical isolation, more like emotional. but its not like i had any people suddenly approach me or come into my life during those times either
>>
>>34071698
i doubt you constantly tried and giving guys signals, you tried it on 2-3 guys it didnt work and then you went back to 'emotionally' sulking
>>
>>34071708
no
>>
>>34071712
no what you want me to believe you consistently asked out or gave signals to 100s of men out there and nothing ever happened?
bc if you actually tried it for so many years it would literally be 100s
>>
>>34071716
is it 100s for you? there are numbers between 2 and 100
>>
>>34071725
its probably 100s if we count trying to make eye contact and signals, yes
>>
>>34071732
now come on now lets be real with ourselves
>>
>>34071732
ten its 100s for me too wtf lol
>>
>>34071738
then you are cursed like me, but i can tell you im older than you and im still not making grand incel threads about myself and still keep trying, but i have to say im a bit worried about myself, too. but im a male, its way harder, i dont think i would be worried if i was on the other side but who knows
>>
>>34071757
i have less time than you. ill be infertile by 30, you wont be.
>>
>>34070738
>Real a$s niga
You're not exactly the sharpest tool in the 4chan shed, are you?
>>
>>34071767
thats only if you dont keep up good care about yourself, its probably grim for both genders if they dont and are single
>>
>>34071780
i try my best but my friends who drink and smoke and dont sleep and eat like shit look better than me, and are less sick than me. and thy'll probably have better kids anyway
>>
>>34071785
i see very fortunate people too and question the world as well how some are just born rich etc and some are obvious poorfags or ugly etc

but i still think it catches up with people if they dont keep up good care. you never really know what goes on in another person, you see them smoke and party once and you are confused how they are looking good, but just bc they did it once doesnt mean they are always like this etc
>>
>>34071803
i just wish it felt like there was a point to all this
>>
It is what it is, you have what you have.
That's what the rest of your existence will be built on.
Could be not too bad.
>>
>>34071807
yea i mean you are not alone... i and many others feel the same
but imo you still cant deny some things in this harsh brutal world are beautiful, too. even just seeing beauty when i look at a landscape etc nobody can say it all looks like shit.
at the end of the day you only need to get lucky once and get one partner and then you can do a lot of the nicer things in life, even if it may seem meaningless, its possible to enjoy the life too. thats what keeps me going i can realistically see if i just luck out one time my life would drastically improve and not even be that bad after all even if life can seem harsh and stupid a lot, shit like comfy netflix and cuddles still exist likewise though and i realise that
>>
>>34071775
Yet somehow I manage to be sharper than you still
>>
>>34071821
it literally is as bad as it can get
>>34071826
of course. i love this earth and nature and the things and people i love. but i wish i had a partner through it all. i fell for the solo travel meme and i just cried the whole time bc i hated seeing beautiful things alone
it bothers me so much that i just need to get lucky once and that i haven't
>>
>>34071842
We shall ignore where we are and....well, good for you.
Kinda edgy name though, post hand?
Post hand!
(I'm aware of the irony)
>>
>>34071857
well you are not alone and you arent that old yet, i can see if youre actually a virgin how it could be confusing to you but at the end of the day you still got some time and youre a girl, chances are if you actually keep trying it should happen
>>
>>34071857
>it literally is as bad as it can get
So it's what you build on.

Are you sure you just don't like to stir up some drama?

Suspicions rise.
>>
>>34071864
i don't have time. even if i met the loml tomorrow, it'd be years before we got married, and by then id be nearly 30. my youth is gone, i look worse every day
>>
>>34071867
my worst nightmare is never finding love. thats not going to change for me anytime soon
>>
>>34071826
>>34071857
Get a room you two

>>34071858
I wasn't careful with that edge and lost my hands
>>
>>34071871
lol 24 isnt old, and you wont suddenly look like shit by 30 unless you kept eating sweets, alcohol, mcdonalds and salads
>>
>>34071880
i don't eat any of that except sweets but why are salads bad?
>>
>>34071877
>I wasn't careful with that edge and lost my hands
No worries.
I just like to help. You may too.
>>34071875
>my worst nightmare is never finding love. thats not going to change for me anytime soon
Only one way to find out.
Right?
Yes, you'll need to do some things.
I have not read most posts in this thread, but what is your social situation?
Friends?
>>
>>34071885
stop eating sweets then its not good for you, i just know a lot of females especially love going the vegetarian root and eat a lot of salad and shit, and its actually not good for you, has low minerals and you can actually not really digest it much either
>>
>>34071891
>but what is your social situation?
i have four friends and i see them often, weekly
i also go to a dance group and am friendly with people there
>>34071893
>root
route?
oh yea im trying to cut down. i mostly try to eat iron rich stuff bc im a bit low but fruits and sweets are my favorite
>>
>>34071895
stop eating so many sweets and fruits then its garbage, and iron rich? you mean steak or what
>>
>>34071904
liver and i eat fish and beans and sweet potato and a lot of eggs. maybe i smell like shit and thats why men hate me
>>
>>34071895
>i have four friends and i see them often, weekly
>i also go to a dance group and am friendly with people there
Not too bad.
Now, friends of friends, that's a huge vector.
Is that a possibility?
dance group sounds good too
Even better if we have to send you out.
>>
>>34071907
stop eating liver and just eat like a normal person. whos telling you to eat such weird shit, i can only imagine you read it on some internet meme
like the solo traveling you mentioned, lmao at the girls solo traveling to shitholes like africa, asia and south america etc its like you try being raped
>>
>>34071909
send me out?
i asked, they don't know any eligble bachelors
>>34071911
i dont eat it a lot it just has a lot of iron i eat a lot carbs
>>
>>34070666
I don't believe you
How many matches did you get on bumble? You're basically guaranteed a date every single day if you just use any dating app, doesn't matter how ugly you are.
>>
>>34071924
>i asked, they don't know any eligble bachelors
Don't ever even ask.
Friends of friends, do as much as you can with your friends, don't actually worry about getting anything,
No. Meet new people, take an interest in them, go full "Be curious, not judgmental" on all of them.
Learn.
Filter.
Keep the good.

Also, what about you? Do you have a personality? Hobbies?
>>
>>34070666
The species is declining. You were born with expectations that do not match reality.
>>
>>34071979
Your species is declining.
Fuck, I need to make more babies.
Because you're all too fucking lazy,,,or so it seems.
>>
>>34070666
It both is & isn’t your fault.
Right now people suck, which isn’t your fault.
But you are a person, and I’m pretty sure you suck too.
>>
>>34071946
yea
>>34071979
i disagree
he has to be out there
>>34071985
>I’m pretty sure you suck too.
so does everyone else in relationships
i want to suck and still be loved like them
>>
File: 1765281849785259.jpg (441 KB, 2000x1328)
441 KB
441 KB JPG
>>34071648
>you make a grand thread about help me im gurl who cant get laid even if i try so hard
>some guy finally points out you didnt try so hard and then you write ok
>like dude wtf

Perhaps not too far off.

My first post.
>>34071821

Turns out "Real a$s niga" is a pretty reasonable and cool dude.

>>34071867
>Are you sure you just don't like to stir up some drama?

Perish the thought.

Then, after enough, "you"'s anon had to go to bed.

I've seen worse endings, have fun!

Or else!
>>
>>34071648
>who cant get laid eve
and im not trying to get laid. i know men will fuck anything, i want a relationship
>>
Ah, timing, anyways:
>>34072047
>yea
Thus:
Drama. At best attention and some conversation.
Likely a dude with a bit of the tism too.
>>
>>34072082
what?
>>
>>34072086
>what?
Apparently not too bright either, so likely less of the tism.

There's boards for your type, like >>>/soc/

Go there to talk.
>>
>>34072097
no
>>
>>34070666
>i feel trapped inside my own head
What does this even mean?
>>
>>34072133
i am constantly thinking about this
if i like a guy i think about him and get ahead of myself which makes me 10 times more heartbroken when he leaves me and then i think about why he didnt like me and all the other times someone didn't like me
>>
>>34072124
>no
Left or right?

Anyways, you just waste people's time.
With a decent chance of killing some.

>>34072133
>What does this even mean?
Ignore it, just observe how it's desperately fishing for attention over there:
>>34072146
...and killing people, but that's what it does.
A vile creature.
>>
>>34072162
if you dislike me get out of my thread
choosing to be unhappy is retarded on our part
>>
>>34072166
Nah, you're not looking to improve, just to chat.
Aren't you?
>>
>>34072176
i would skin you if it meant i would improve
is that right or left?
>>
>>34070666
moids cannot feel love. moids literally just want to rape and batter you
>>
>>34072183
girl go do your homework
>>
>>34072178
It's enough.
Likely lost on you, but when you get back, remember.
>>
>>34072186
of course, kisses
>>
>>34072189
You're welcome.
Love too!
>>
>>34072202
im not her but youre mentally ill, stop molesting other people you retarded incel
>>
>>34072207
At least you make it clear why you need advice.
Bit twisted there.



[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.