Ur both single daddies and mommies kekkers at like 20 wtf
At that point ur relationship is entirely about raising kids anyway so whatever is easiest to raise em. She seems unreliable kid-raiser if she's out n about fucking but it's your call. Like ur single daddy mommy relationship should be transactional and about pooling resources to sendoff your kids
Otherwise find another kid-raiser or woman to have a kids with, cuz nobody should be raising ur kid while getting nothing in return

>>34070773
Yeah I probably shouldve married her years ago but I've always been afraid to marry bc I've seen what the women in my family have done to men. She wants kids and to be married but we haven't done either bc I haven't wanted both. I guess in a way I asked for this? Idk maybe but yeah this sucks. Hate to throw away 12 years but might be what's best for the long run

>>34070814
>what the women in my family have done to men
What they do?

>>34070823
Screw em over. For example my mom had an affair, divorced my step dad and he lost his family, house, and car. She had her bf coming thru like 3 months after my step dad was out of the house. I saw this go down when I was 16. Always stuck w me.

>>34070843
How does ur step dad lose all dat? And yeah grim, you ever tell your mum off?

>>34070717
That was not a drunk hook-up. You know this, right? You have the proof in your own post OP.

>He pocket dialed her when they were hooking up in her car
>pocket dialed
>in her car

Do you think he accidentally dialled numbers on the phone with his thigh or ass and magically somehow dialled your woman’s number against all 1,000,000,000,000:1 odds?

Or maybe he was able to butt dial her because HER NUMBER WAS ALREADY ON HIS PHONE. BECAUSE SHE GAVE THAT TO HIM LONG BEFORE THIS CAR AFFAIR.

>in her car
Did he magically appear in her car by magic?
SHE LET HIM IN. MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

This was going on for a long, long time. And her denying the advances does not mean she wasnt cheating. It means she thinks he was moving too fast. She intended to get to that eventually. Because SHE GIVES HIM HER NUMBER AND INVITES HIM INTO HER CAR IN THE LATE HOURS AFTER DRINKS.

Fucking hell man, wake up

>>34070882
Her story is a group of people swapped numbers before they went from one bar to another. All friends from work. When she was leaving later on he asked for a ride to his car which was in a parking complex. That's when he made his move. Yes, im a retard but I dont think this was an ongoing this. We were already having troubles in our relationship and he took advantage of her vulnerability asking her how isnt she married? She sounds like a good mom and loves her family etc "id marry you" and then he asked to kiss her which she obliged. He kept trying to engage in sex so she said she kicked him out of her car. He left the vm at 107 and i had her on the phone by 117 when she was getting pulled over. I mean, she was pretty wasted bc when I picked her up later she was pulled over by a cop on the wrong side of the freeway so she wasnt in the right mind frame. Im obviously trying to cope with all of this but yeah I dont think this was something going on for a long time, just a one off.

>>34070923
Maybe that’s how it went, maybe. But wherever there’s smoke there’s fire, people who cheat do something called ‘trickle-truthing’. They invent entire watered down events to paint themselves as idiots or victims to get you to stop digging. I unfortunately have learned this the hard way with cheaters, and they all follow the exact same script.

>We were already having troubles in our relationship
See? Now you know why she found it so easy to cheat.
>He took advantage
She said yes to him, yes to his number, yes to letting him in her car. Go and see if she will say ‘yes’ to your request to search her instagram/fb/text message/whatsapp/whatever the fuck social media DM inboxes. You’ll notice she will recoil and hesitate and do that thing cheaters do where they cling to their phone as if their life depended on it, tilting the screen away from view like you’re trying to snatch a baby from them lol.

>>34070944
Lol hear you brotha. I hear ya. You are not wrong.

>>34070859
She told him she only wants the house and my little sister and nothing else. He was always asked how will you find a way to afford all of this and she always said she'll find a way. Which she did obviously thanks to new bf. He had to sell his car to be able to afford a new spot. He only saw my little sister on the weekends. And yeah I've told her before but this was over 15 years ago now.

>>34070996
Nice, so you aren’t entirely stupid, you got it in you to see reason. You don’t want to leave her clearly, because of the sunken cost fallacy. Having to do-over and drag you and your kid through uncertainty and turmoil and all that shit, also you just wanna finally relax and be at peace and settle down. I get it, man I do. I’m only married recently myself now, aint raised kids as long as you have. I recognise you prob got more wisdom than I do.

But I also know wisdom goes out the fuckin window wherever fear or despair comes along. So I understand why you don’t wanna drag this out with her. It dont make you a coward, makes you someone wanting to do the right thing.

But I tell you man, you need to question if staying is the right thing if it turns out she lied about more. Because remember: That woman is the role model to your kids you brought to the marriage. Even if she is close with em or not, your kids will witness who she is, what she does, and what she can get away with over you. And kids learn from that, shapes them and molds them.

If you wanna protect the quality of your kids future, might be worth asking yourself if having a role model who gets drunk and passes herself to strange men randomly whenever the chips are down is really a good example for your kids to be around.

>>34071011
>House
>Only
Greedy as, the legal system a bit scuffed
She's obvi a gold digger so
Your step dad should've seen it coming
But if they had a kid together then ig it's the same sitch of his resources needa go to his kid so she rides off it and gets the share

>>34070717
>In the vm you can here him making advances for sex but she kept denying him
So you're saying you have evidence that he raped her while she was drunk, and this means you should split up with her?

>>34071141
>he raped her
that story might work and maybe even be plausible if it was an inexperienced, 18 year old girl with mental deficiencies even reciting the story. This is a 31 year old woman, multiple time divorced, with kids. There’s no way in hell she didn’t lead the guy on knowingly. What kind of married woman is out there handing digits to drunk men at parties? Even inviting them for rides?

>>34071141
Lol it wasnt rape, he asked to kiss her and she said yes.

>>34071148
She wasnt married. She was leaving and he asked her for a ride.

>>34071162
B-but she was scared, and afraid :( accountability scawy!

>>34071162
>he asked to kiss her and she said yes.
Because she was scared and hoping he would settle for that.

>>34070923
so wait she didnt have sex?
why are you making a thing out of it sounding like its an actual affair?

>>34071411
Bc she still hooked up with a dude at a bar. Should I just get over it?

>>34071552
what? to me hooking up means actually fucking not just getting wasted and doing stupid shit

im honestly asking myself if you even love her yourself and if you dont just want to find an excuse to end the relationship so you can date and (maybe fuck) other women

like ive been actually cheated on by an ex gf, and it was a long time relationship and i was reacting like you should i keep it or not... but i was actually cheated on dick in her holes not just a nothingburger

>>34071567
I've been with her for 12 years. Ofc I love her. If this doesn't work out I dont even want to date or have casual sex. Im 33 years old and have only been with 3 women in my life. If we break up I probably wouldnt get back in the game for a few years or until my kid is 18.

>>34071575
how is this thread up then? to me thats not even a question if she didnt actually cheat and have sex

women are smaller and weaker they can easily get taken advantage of and end up in situations like this, not saying she did everything right here, but if she didnt actually had a dick in her holes and actually cheated on you this is a nobrainer for me
if this happens again it would be suspect and id ask myself the f is going on but if this was a one off thing and she didnt actually got fucked then what are you thinking about? especially if she said she is sorry and did a dumb thing?

>>34070814
>Yeah I probably shouldve married her years ago but I've always been afraid to marry bc I've seen what the women in my family have done to men
And you wonder why she isn't loyal to you? If you won't commit to her, why are you expecting her to commit to you?

>>34070717
He had her number?

>>34072129
See >>34070923

>>34071589
>women are smaller and weaker they can easily get taken advantage of and end up in situations like this

Yeah what a whacky accidental situation that is, giving your number to men that are not your boyfriend, drinking with them, letting them in your car, and saying yes to kissing them.

>>34070717
>i picked her up later when she was passed out.
Look, she was drunk. A sexual predator - not a stranger, a friend of a friend, and part of a friend group who were all out together, and all exchanged numbers at the start of the evening - tricked a very drunk woman into letting him into her car. He tried to fuck her, but she repeatedly said no. We know, because there's actually a recording of her saying it. That's all fine.

Honestly, the aspect of the story you should be paying attention to is that she was trying to drive when she was this drunk:
>>34070923
>I picked her up later she was pulled over by a cop on the wrong side of the freeway so she wasnt in the right mind frame.
That's the scary part.

>>34070814
>Yeah I probably shouldve married her years ago but I've always been afraid to marry bc I've seen what the women in my family have done to men. She wants kids and to be married but we haven't done either bc I haven't wanted both. I guess in a way I asked for this?
Yeah, you fucking did. She wants to marry you and have kids. You've been stringing her along for TWELVE YEARS because you have commitment issues. You thoroughly deserve to be cheated on. It's remarkable she didn't.

>>34072507
Reverse the roles and I guarantee you'd not be saying this shit. If OP had taken digits from a woman, drank with her, let her in his car and accepted kissing her behind his GF's back you'd verbally lunch the OP for it, 100%.

>>34072516
She didn't "take digits from a man", she was out with a friend group and they ALL exchanged numbers at the beginning of the evening. It would be trivial to confirm this: all OP has to do is find one of the other friends and ask. He hasn't done that because deep down he knows she's telling the truth.

Would I be condemning OP because a friend of a friend said "Could you possibly give me a ride?" and he said "sure"? No, I would not. Would I be condemning OP for having a single, brief, drunken kiss after his hypothetical commitment-phobic girlfriend had been stringing him along for TWELVE FUCKING YEARS? No, I would not.

>>34072570
>She didn't "take digits from a man", she was out with a friend group and they ALL exchanged numbers at the beginning of the evening.
You actually believe that? The way to confirm everything is to check her DMs/texts from that male contact. If they’ve had correspondence predating the night of the party, then she’s a liar and whatever story she invented can be discarded. And he absolutely should demand to see her DMs & messages. I can bet any $$$ she’s got that guy already on there and has cute little convos with him, made herself seem available for this guy which is why the guy felt comfortable making advances because she made him feel welcome.

But what does it matter, you blatantly think infidelity is A-Okay all because he refused to marry a cheater. Thank fucking God he didn’t marry her, because she just outted herself as the kind of woman who will give herself to strange men the minute she feels bad in the relationship

>>34072516
>Reverse the roles
It's possibly worth mentioning that reversing the roles gives you a different situation. If OP were in a car with a woman who wanted sex, and he wasn't interested, and she wouldn't stop, he could simply physically push her out of the car. Unless she had a gun she couldn't possibly pose any physical threat to him. But if you're a woman in a car with a man who is demanding sex and might rape you or kill you if you say the wrong thing, that's a far more complicated and frightening situation to get yourself out of.

>>34072584
>The way to confirm everything is to check her DMs/texts from that male contact
OP had access to her phone: that's how he heard the accidental voicemail. If he was listening to her voicemails, obviously he checked everything else too, and found nothing.

>>34072584
>you blatantly think infidelity is A-Okay all because he refused to marry a cheater.
You mean he refused to marry someone who didn't cheat for 12 years and still hasn't?

>>34070717
>She got drunk
That's where you guys went wrong

>>34070717
Drunks are just more honest. I didn't want this to be true and I tried forgiving them but I found out later when sober the retards felt the same way as they did drunk. And if you kill or beat someone while drunk you're still getting arrested. If she cheated the relationship is dead. Any woman who drinks especially around strangers isn't worth getting with because they'll use it like periods to get out of trouble. It's just not worth dealing with.

>>34072778
>If he was listening to her voicemails, obviously he checked everything else too, and found nothing.
That’s your presumption. OP made no mention of checking through her socials or not.

>>34072779
>You mean he refused to marry someone who didn't cheat for 12 years and still hasn't?
>Still hasn’t
She was intimate with the guy in the car and made out with him. If you don’t wanna call that cheating the. I got no clue how to change your mind on that. All I’d ask is if you would okay with allowing 10 male anons from ITT to stick their tongue down your girlfriend/wife’s throat. Cuz it aint cheating right?

>>34072779
Why would you think marriage means anything but allowing someone to access your money easier? If the love was that deep or genuine these relationships wouldn't need marriage. Imagine the retard actually married her just for her to do typical woman shit getting drunk with strangers. She at least kissed him. He was clearly better off not marrying but it was dumb to be with her at all for this long.

>>34072772
It's worth mentioning that not a single thing you said matters when women only bring up their physical inferiority to get out of trouble. If you admit or know or bring up women are so much weaker than men then they shouldn't even be drinking much less around strangers and not carrying any of many available weapons while in public. They do the same thing when trying to justify most abortions. It's just coming off as manipulative.

>>34072806
>It's just coming off as manipulative.
Bingo. This is how women compensate for their lack of physical prowess, they use emotional manipulation to keep threats in check. I don’t even hate women for this I think it’s a really clever mechanic. They develop it as kids, fake crying to get daddy to do what she wants etc.

>>34071575
>I've been with her for 12 years
And she has been with you for 12 years and it obviously doesn't mean much to her. Doesn't sound like she has the same feelings and level of commitment as you. Why then should you do all the work?