My mentality, mood, and way of thinking are constantly changing, i haven't talked to anyone in weeks and if we discount small talks I've only had 1 conversation in months, why am i like this? how can i be disgusted with porn and delete it all only to get memory wiped and search for it the day after wondering who deleted it for hours before i remember what i did, and at that point even questioning why i did what i did, as if I'm a different person, same thing with chores and studying, 1 week I'd be hard at work overworking myself trying my best to get everything done and then the week after i can't do shit all day and question the meaning behind it all, wondering if i should just kms which leads me to wasting time instead of doing what i have to do.>inb4 advice?what's happening to me?how do i fix it?should i even "fix" it?i just want help of some kind, I'm also immensely lonely yet at the same time i avoid starting conversations online but that's more of a side thing really
>>34072803>what’s happening to me?dissociation + addiction>how do I fix it?find out who or what knocked you into dissociative lalaland. And for addiction you gotta repurpose the addiction, find a new addiction that is better and productive.>should I even fix it?Yes. You won’t care right now maybe but wait until one or both your parents die and you are truly alone. If you haven’t fixed it by then, life is going to weigh 1,000 gigatons on your soul. You must prepare and start building something in your life, anything. I was in your exact situation for over a decade friend, there is a way out.
>>34072813>dissociationWhat does that mean?>find out who or what knocked you into dissociative lalaland.Please elaborate>And for addiction you gotta repurpose the addiction, find a new addiction that is better and productive.Fair enough, any suggestions? i used to draw but i can't now for reasons that i won't get into, working out didn't stick with me and anything else i try to do feels like a waste of time because I'm not studying, but i hate studying and that usually(i think) pushes me back into masterbaiting which is maybe where the problem lies
>>34072822>What does that mean?You know when you sink into your own ruminating mind and you get stuck in analysis paralysis, flicking through 1,000 thoughts non stop all the whole you are in this sort of 'brain fog', and you go on autopilot, like when you are about to start or are in the middle of porn consumption? Just you and your fantasy land? That's dissociation. >Please elaborateChances are you never used to be like this. Chances are you never climbed into your own mind and went autopilot just to cope. You learned to do that over an unconscious process over years maybe a decade. Find out when exactly you started it and identify what was going on in your life at that time, what specific events or people in your life made you withdraw into your own fantasy land to feel secure and in control? Figure that out and you find the way out. >Any suggestions?Explore new hobbies or activities, find a new one. Even if you think you may not enjoy it try anyway. I highly recommend physical activity, doesn't have to be working out. Can be survivalism, camping, hiking, DIY, woodwork. If you use your body to keep you busy you will spend less time in your own head. Less time in your own head = less triggers for dissociation and temptation.Chances are you won't have any motivation or desire to try to begin these suggestions. That is OK, that's normal. Let yourself feel lazy or bored or defeated, just do it anyway while feeling like crap. Trust in the process
>>34072830Ok i think i know what causes my dissociation and it's my family and the immense abuse i received from them especially when i was a kid but how does that help? what am i supposed to do? like does that mean I'm supposed to avoid them so i stop being like this?
>>34072870>what am i supposed to do? like does that mean I'm supposed to avoid them so i stop being like this?If you’re currently living with them, then yes it may be a very good idea to move away from them. It can take as little as three months for your mind to go back to normal of you spend those three months away from the source of the high stress, like a dysfunctional or abusive family. (that’s the same deal I had OP, so I get it). Even if you’ve spent years, decades around those stressful environs your mind will catch up and heal very fast in as little as 3 months so long as you keep it away from shitty environments. You can always keep your family in your life, you do not need to cut them out of your life or hate them or anything, but a strong healthy boundary is necessary.
>>34072943Ok thanks, I'll try to start on some of this tonight, this has been helpful
>>34072803Weird sandwich bro helps us to understand.
