Anons, I'm confused.There is a woman at work that we are close friends. A few months earlier I confessed that I want more than just friends. She rejected me. She was also distancing for a month or so, avoided me at work. We had some company and private events, parties with close colleagues and strangely she slowly got close again.Last week we had a really amazing night with her and two other colleagues at a dance club. We were dancing and singing together the whole time.On our last day at work we talked through the day and she was very eager to tell me about her new year's eve party. She mentioned it so many times, so I as I was not invited. She than opened up and told me that she it is some meetup circle for strangers to be friends, not for dating.She also invited some of our colleagues, but not me. But now she was asking what my plans for nye are and if I would like to come. I said I will think about it. I know this is not a date, but why the change or reversion to the old dynamic after her rejection? What is her intention?Her voice was also strange, like she was afraid to ask. Usually she has a strong opinion and not shy.
>>34073111Sometimes you ask a girl out and she had no idea you liked her, she gets nervous and says no. Then she can’t stop thinking about how you asked her out and eventually her mind associates you with romance and then all of a sudden she’s warming up to the idea of dating you. Could very well be that. I think you should go, and if you have a moment alone with her I genuinely think you should ask her out on a date again, cuz if she has changed her mind about you and is interested now she sure as shit aint gonna ask you out after fucking up and saying no the first time she’ll be too embarrassed for that. Ask her one more time mate.
Its a shit-test to cuck you in to the friend zone
>>34073111She might be hesitant to ask because she doesn't want you to confuse it with anything bigger. She probably invited you because she sees you can have a good time partying.I wouldn't hold any expectations about dating her after she denied you. Don't concern yourself with what her actions are or how she feels about you. This will lead you to be needy and focusing too much on her.Instead just focus on having a good time, socializing, and meeting more women. If she develops something for you then she will more openly want to do things when it's just the two of you. If she never develops something for you then it was not meant to be.Tra la la
>>34073111She explicitly said the circle was not for dating. Don't mind fuck yourself into thinking otherwise, you've already been rejected and that status usually doesn't change.>>34073135Is wrong and you should not pursue her further unless she makes very explicit signals. The kind of signs that you wouldn't have to go to 4chan to ask anons to decipher.>>34073137This anon is correct. She wants the friendship back and, if we want to read the worst intentions, a guy to keep around to keep her self esteem up.I would probably still go to the event just to see how things go. It's always a good idea to say yes to stuff, it keeps your social life healthy and full of opportunities. That said if you still have feelings for the girl than the healthiest thing to do is maintain distance.
YOU MUST REFUSE IT, OR IGNORE IT AND THEN PROCEED TO POST PICK ON THE DAY WITH OTHER PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME THEY ARE HAVING THIS REUNION
>>34073135fpb>>34073204t jealous niggerincel
>>34073111It is clear to her (and to us who read your account), even if it is not clear to you, that she considers you a friend - nothing more. Any confusion is entirely from your being unable to see that
>>34073277Bud, only incels read this much romantic intention out of a pretty benign party invite from a woman that has already rejected you.
>>34073353“Bud”, you’re projecting your own defeatism. I’ve known many married couples where the woman recites how they met the man, and she makes a playful jab at the fact she rejected him once, twice, but the hubby “couldnt take no for an answer” and kept chasing her until she finally gave in to his charms and they have a happy ever after. It’s called having balls and it costs nothing to simply ask again. If she says no, she says no. That way OP knows for a fact there was no signals returning once and for all and he can move on. If she says yes, then big W. Stop teaching men how to become underachieving pussies
>>34073366SAAAAAR
>>34073366OP has been hovering around a girl that already rejected him months ago, and instead of encouraging him to go out and meet more women, take more chances, you want him to go crawling back and shoot his shot at a "meetup circle for strangers to be friends." After she's given absolutely zero signals of romantic interest. Who's encouraging underachievement here? You're retarded and cucked.
>>34073135>Sometimes you ask a girl out and she had no idea you liked her, she gets nervous and says no.That is true, she was surprised and confused when I told her my feelings. A week after we talked or hours about that.>>34073196Kind of feeling this currently. But I would have expected that she would drop all contact. Yet she is back with the same energy as before, maybe even more.Maybe she is using me as a bf substitute as she is single almost a year now. We are in the EU so it is different culture here. Nobody is obsessed with having partners right away.
>>34073400You got no place calling others cucked when you signal defeatism and giving up like a BITCH.
You are confused because you cannot see the reality even if it hits you in the face. You are being tested right now, to come back cucked in to the friend zone so she can lose all respect for you and convince herself she made the right choice to reject you.
>>34073366>and she makes a playful jab at the fact she rejected him once, twice, but the hubby “couldnt take no for an answer” and kept chasing her until she finally gave in to his charmsYet the same chicks will loudly complain about en being creeps and not taking "no" for an answer. Any woman who does this is a simp fishign retarded and should be avoided. Do not allow women to waste your time.that said, Fpbp >>34073135 is entirely correct, women sometimes spill their spaghetti and quto-reject you out of nervousness, it never hurts to try a second time just to be really sure.
>>34073353>e ee everyone cant get laid just like me keep coping incel
>>34073416tested for what? what can you win?1. not go to the party: she thinks why did I even ask? Anon stays home, doesn't meet his friends, zero chance of meeting anybody new.2. go to the party: She is happy to see Anon. Together with friends. Meet new people, although anon is an introvert, so might be difficult.Why is this cuckoldry? The worst thing is they stay close friends. The best is they might get closer to a relationship, maybe.
>>34073709It's a test for how weak minded you are. He can go to the party I don't care. He is being cucked into disregarding his true intentions and desires towards her.
>>34073828You gain respect from her and then what? It was great that Anon didn't come when I asked him. Now I will like him even more, because...?That's retarded.
>>34074173Going against my better judgment am going to inform you that having self respect as a man is more important than fulfilling a wish of a girl that just doesn't know what she wants and rejected you romantically. Therefore your argument is that he should reject himself to make her happy, which is truly self destructing and retarded. You are obviously a girl so I forgive you for your ignorance.
>>34074275He’d only be rejecting himself if he refuses to ask her out again.
>>34074283You don't ask a second time after you get rejected. Have some fucking self respect.
>>34074306>You don't ask a second time after you get rejected. Have some fucking self respectYou call that self respect? Taking your ball and going home? Pouting and saying “Yeah? Well SCREW you. I don’t need you anyway!” You don’t even know why he was rejected, anon. Could’ve been non personal reasons. And if you have self respect then you understand that you chase what you want. What you are arguing for is getting a bruised ego and ragequitting.
>>34074318Screw yourself honey. In a mans world it doesn't work like this, no matter how mad you feel.Op clearly stated he was rejected and she distanced herself from him and that left him hurt and confused.What you are doing is trying to convince me that he is the problem? Take a walk honey. Go play your had to get games somewhere else and stop playing with people. Time to learn that action have consequences.
>>34074332You’re calling a grown man who is prob older than you are “honey” thats gay as shit. No I’m not saying OP is the problem. The girl isn’t the problem either. There is no problem, only opportunity. But you seem to want to make a problem out of it for god knows what reason.
>>34074367Alright, I see your point. You have your reasons that are valid too. If I came out a bit harshaccept my apologies.
>>34074433Ah fuck now I respect you. You’re alright, anon. No worries, I come off harsh here all the time I know how it goes, blowing off steam on anonymous posts just for catharsis. You’ve got a valid concern as well, my advice may very well set him up for more rejection after all. And to tell ya the truth if I was in OP’s position I’d probably hesitate asking again too. It’s just I got this habit of telling others to not make mistakes I did like not shooting shots is all. Respect for being mature as hell anon, you’re a rare breed
>>34073111Imo from reading the entire post she realized she's not into you so she rejected you, then this weird period came where she wants to make sure you aren't getting the wrong idea so either consciously or subconsciously she was avoiding you.At these moments, after being asked out, and you showing your interest in this girl, she's categorized you with "the guys who want me", this is cut and dry, you're either appealing to her or you're not. Rarely does this change, and you'd be a real incredible outlier for this to change with you. It's simple math that it's way more likely that it didn't change, and instead, the much simpler thing is happening: Back when you asked her out, you were categorized as someone interested in her, she had the ick because guys who want her aren't interesting to her. Time passed, and you've shown that you have your own life, the interest that you've shown in her has waned in your head, and so it did in her. Her ick has gone down, and she's genuinely open to seeing you as a friend again, and not being afraid of you being interested in her. She's warming up to you again as a friend, and she trusts that you won't make any moves on her again. Imo your biggest mistake is thinking that some sort of cool down period has passed and that now you can make a move again. No. She feels like you're safe again, because it's been so long and you didn't ask her out. But it's entirely obvious to her and hopefully to you that she's not interested. So don't do it man. Go if you genuinely are interested in the event and the people there, but not from the belief that something will happen with the girl or that this is any sort of romantic sign from her to you. Stay explicit. You did well to ask her out back then. And she was very clear back to you so stick to the facts.Good luck brother.
