early 30's retard here.so, im in a bit of a 2-year long slump after going through an miscarriage and break up with my ex. things ended mostly amicably given the circumstances, but i've done fuck all with my life since i turned 30. the only thing i can say that i have things going for me is i have a job that pays decently well ($110k) and i have a mortgage (i don't say i "own" my house) so i can't be immediately kicked out on the street or anythingproblem is: im in no shape to get myself back out in the world, let alone date. my ex and i fell into pretty rigid roles where i brough in money, maintained our cars, and occasionally fixed/maintained things around the house, while she almost exclusively cooked while staying at home. we both liked the arrangement, and she loved cooking, but my lack of initiative has left me unskilled in the kitchen. im obese, order all of my food despite having a well-equipped kitchen that my ex gifted the majority of the stuff inside to me (i know how to cook very basic shit), have an absolute wreck of a home with trash everywhere that im embarrassed to bring anyone in to, and the only thing of note i've done recently was escape a 7 year smoking habit and have been smokefree for 4 months now despite most likely also being undiagnosed adhd. i want to keep the momentum, and i've generally kept my home stable to where its clutter isn't getting any worse now, but it's also not really improving./blogtldr: 31/m - between my poor cooking skills, royally fucked living space, and just generally living unkempt, im trying to do better while holding down a job that's paying for my needs, but feel overwhelmed about what or how to tackle anything next after successfully quitting smoking. does anyone have books/resources/guides/structured plans for anyone falling in this "guys that should have learned a lot of this basic shit in their teens/20's, but better late than never" camp?
>>34075583So, off the bat, get that "undiagnosed ADHD" checked on. Find a clinic that specializes it in and make an appointment, costs like 100 bucks.Second, clean up your shit. Use a weekend to really clean up everything and then get into the habit of cleaning shit as you go through your day, wash your dishes after every meal, etc.Third, learn to cook. My recommendation is watch cooking shows, entertaining shit like Beat Bobby Flay or smth, if you see something that looks good, learn how to cook it
>>34075683>So, off the bat, get that "undiagnosed ADHD" checked on. Find a clinic that specializes it in and make an appointment, costs like 100 bucks.i think i found a place and i'll try to call them in the morning. ty>Second, clean up your shit. Use a weekend to really clean up everything and then get into the habit of cleaning shit as you go through your day, wash your dishes after every meal, etc.this is improving for the most part. i don't have any dirty dishes. don't cook and i eat almost exclusively with plastic silverware and chopsticks outside of the occasional freezer ice cream.i was able to get things stable by setting an alarm to go off at 6 every day and forcing myself to clean for 20 minutes every day, but it's mostly keeping the tide at bay.>Third, learn to cook. My recommendation is watch cooking shows, entertaining shit like Beat Bobby Flay or smth, if you see something that looks good, learn how to cook iti can look at this. i can do absolutely basic shit like make scrambled eggs and bacon, cook a steak, and make rice, but that's practically the extent of what i know.i feel like i also waste a lot of food by going through these cycles of "im going to cook", making something abhorrent, and then sitting on rotting ingredients in my fridge for a month.idk do people just make one thing and buy the stuff for only that one thing and *maybe* one other thing that they want to learn, and then just keep doing that until they know how to manage a grocery list without having food go to waste? i recently had a line cook friend who called me retarded for almost throwing out a stick of butter that was a week past the use by date when he came over to teach me how to make burritos. he then showed me how to check if its off by smell, and i still have no idea wtf "bad butter" smells like, but he said it was ok. i know he meant it in jest and he still cares about me, but it really hammered home how useless i am in my own kitchen.
>>34075730I think most people have a set rotation of dishes they know how to cook and regularly make, that's what I do. So I can buy pasta, canned tomatoes, onions, olives, bell peppers, etc, knowing that I can make 3 or 4 dishes from that collection of ingredients. That way you're always buying stuff that you are certain to use before it gets bad. But you need to figure out what your set of dishes you like are and that might take some experimentationI can't help with the butter, to my knowledge it needs to be in the fridge like a year or smth before it goes bad, so I've never had the displeasure of smelling rancid butter
