1. Stop thinking about it and enjoy having a gf with low bodycount
2. Dump her and get a virgin

>>34075921
>low bodycount
What is a low bodycount acc to you? And what is high?
>get a virgin
No thank you. 3 of my previous partners were virgins. Found out the hard way that, if a non-religious girl is a virgin well into her twenties then there is some deeper psychological issue at play.

>>34075942
>What is a low bodycount acc to you?
2
>Found out the hard way that, if a non-religious girl is a virgin well into her twenties then there is some deeper psychological issue at play.
Get religious girls. Ez

>>34075914
I presume the handjob guy and kissing people were other men who were not her BFs. Casual hook ups? Thats what bothers you, thats why you dont care she banged her 2 exes but you care she had sexual shit with hook ups. Its because she had it in her to give herself away outside the confines of a committed relationship. And you are in a committed relationship with her right now. So subconciously you are worried she can seek or be suckered into sexual shit outside of the relationship and cheat you. You consider relationships to be a fortress, a place to be protected from the worry of infidelity. And she showed you that she has no issues being sexual outside of the walls of a relationship. So you are panicked.

But you might wanna consider why she did those things, what was her motivation? Chances are she did it to try and feel wanted and to try and get those men to date her. But they didnt they bailed presumably. And if this is true then it at least shows her intentions were okay, her execution was shit. She made inexperienced mistakes. Maybe be forgiving and understanding

>>34075942
> if a non-religious girl is a virgin well into her twenties then there is some deeper psychological issue at play.

What happened?

>>34076074
One had an instance of being sexually abused as a child, one was a closet asexual, and one had some untreated mental disorder that caused terrible vaginismus

>>34075914
Did you specifically ask her for these details? If so why? Seems retarded.

How do you stop thinking about it? We’ll start by not caring. She’s not some promiscuous whore, she’s a normal human being who lived a normal human being life before she met you.

>>34076073
>You consider relationships to be a fortress, a place to be protected from the worry of infidelity. And she showed you that she has no issues being sexual outside of the walls of a relationship. So you are panicked.
Holy shit anon this is exactly it
I feel seen for the first time in months and months of these terrible thoughts

>I presume the handjob guy and kissing people were other men who were not her BFs. Casual hook ups?
She has always said she has never done a one night stand and has never seeked to date for the sole purpose of sex. She's always said it's connection and love first for her. So if a date went really well she'd share a kiss. One of her dates of went well enough for her to get intimate enough for a handy.

Idk if this makes any sense but maybe what also bothers me is the nagging thought that she was "easy" on dates. Idk how to navigate this thought

She also once dated a guy from her school, an old acquaintance, they went on 3 dates and then she made the mistake of once sleeping with him. She thought there was a deeper connection due to his lovebombing, and she openly told me she regrets having given that part of her to someone she didn't have a deeper connection with. It used to bother me but I don't think about this much anymore but sometimes I do

I'm a mess man and idk why

>>34076110
>Did you specifically ask her for these details? If so why? Seems retarded
Nah, this whole downward spiral of mine started when we were just casually sharing weird dating stories (nothing sexual, just weird people) and she randomly brings up this one story about a guy she dated who apparently would "always brag about how big his dick was and then when I saw it it was the most mid dick ever". I was so disgusted at this story of her bringing up some earlier dates dick and told her I was disgusted by it. It also out me on this terrible mental downward spiral which has gone on ever since.

I swear to god anon. If there's one thing I wish I could change in our relationship I'd go back and make her never mention that small details. It triggered me so badly and painfully, and it still triggers me for some reason. Even after all these discussions where I know her past and logically know she isn't some slutty whore, this shit still pains me so bad. Idk what to do

>>34076137
Maybe I’m just completely desensitized to sex at this point but that doesn’t even seem like a crazy story to me. I think if my girlfriend brought that up I wouldn’t have a second thought about it.

Your girlfriend saw an annoying dude’s dick? And touched it? Literally nothing. You yourself have had sexual encounters before her (at least that’s what it sounds like). Was every girl you’ve ever seen naked some sort of paragon of virtue? I’m guessing some of them were probably dumb annoying girls too. I would hope by this point in life you would realize sex is a very normal, natural thing that animals do and isn’t a huge major thing that you need to obsess about 24/7. It’d be one thing if your girlfriend was a slut, or even if you were a virgin prior to meeting, but neither of these things are true.

I have intrusive thoughts too, I simply think about something else if they’re bothersome. I certainly don’t obsess about them.

>>34076160
I appreciate your reply. I haven't talked a out these feelings to any of my friends so it feels good to express it and hear your opinion.

>It’d be one thing if your girlfriend was a slut
What exactly qualifies as slut behavior? Is there a body count cutoff? What would you say is the average body count for a woman in her mid-twenties?

I'm only asking so i can ground myself in reality.

>I have intrusive thoughts too, I simply think about something else if they’re bothersome.
Yeah I'm realizing that a lot of my suffering stems purely from my thoughts. Perhaps I should try mindfulness.

I hope you don't mind my asking. I just need to talk to somebody clearheaded about this shit.

>>34076177
I think the definition of slut is in the eye of the beholder. I wouldn’t consider a body count of anything less than 8 a slut for a girl that’s 25. I think in the current day girls have frequent opportunities to have sex and they’re also human and make mistakes. A slut is more than a girl who’s willing to have sex before being in love. A slut is a woman that bounces from one man to the next. Basically a woman that can’t be alone and gets all of her validation from sex, and has a very low standard for giving it out.

Also I think you should consider that many men expect a kiss on the first date, and sometimes there’s an enormous amount of pressure to do so. I also wouldn’t consider kissing in a body count personally.

Also I’m just a dude with my own life experience so take whatever I say with that perspective. I know there’s a lot of autists on this website that would hard disagree with everything I say.

>>34076209
>wouldn’t consider kissing in a body count personally
nta , so whatd be your definition of body count? isnt it always dick in pussy

>>34076239
For me it’s fucking alone. A loose definition maybe is cumming with another person, or making another person cum. Any sort of contact other than that is absolutely not included in any body count.

>>34076125
>Holy shit anon this is exactly it
>I feel seen for the first time in months and months of these terrible thoughts
Glad I could be of some help

>Idk if this makes any sense but maybe what also bothers me is the nagging thought that she was "easy" on dates. Idk how to navigate this thought

It’s because you care about her, clearly. And when you care about someone, particularly if it’s a girl you love, then you’ll always wince and feel complicated negative feelings whenever you learn of stories where she had been defiled or defiled herself. It’s common sense if you think about it, you care for her and you hear of the time someone didn’t care for her, only for sex, and it pisses you off and rightly so.

>I’m a mess man and idk why
I don’t think you’re a mess, you just got feelings that are tangled into a mess. And the reason they are tangled is because you are trying to reconcile the past with the present, and the things in her past are irreconcilable because what’s done is done. So you end up thrown in a mental loop, your problem solving instinct kicks in but theres no solution to a problem that occurred before you showed up.
So your mind will instead fear the future as a way to satisfy itself to give that sense of control over the difficult feeling of knowing what you know.


Anyway I think if your GF told you all this transparently, its a sign she ain’t a crazy chick. I’ve unfortunately dated crazy cheating whores. All of them lie and never own up to a thing to keep themselves invisible. Your girl was at least honest. And if she treats you right and you can see she is serious about the relationship then just take comfort in that, because its real.