My childhood was a nightmare. I was not fed and was yelled at every day for hours. The longest time I recorded was 3 hours. I will say I was not raped, so it's not too bad.My sister took it much worse than I. She is a single mother in her mid 30s so severely depressed and unhealthy that my 65 year old mom has to take care of her financially, emotionally, and physically. I'm also 90% sure my sister has become my dad and both my sister and dad are abusing and manipulating my mom.Since I was 7, it used to be my own death yearned for but I'm still here.What am I supposed to do to help my mom? She is at my sister's beck and call even after my sister drove her out of the house making my mom cry.
>>34076319If you're on an airplane and there's a catastrophic failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and the instructions are to put on your own mask first before you help anyone else. You MUST help yourself first before you help anyone else. If you try to help someone else first, then you are liable to be trapped inside of a mental fog, dazed and confused and unable to see the situation clearly, and so you are liable to make grave mistakes while attempting to help them that only end up hurting everyone involved.Make sure you've already helped yourself before you help your mother, because you won't do her any good if you aren't helping her with a clear head. And when you truly are ready to help her, when you have both internal and external readiness, make sure that you put limits on how far you're willing to go. If she's cold, you can't set yourself on fire just to keep her warm.Talk to a therapist about this. Not just because a therapist has better training and insight than we do, but also because a therapist can be a regular fixture in your life who continues to give you evolving input as your situation evolves too.
>>34076340I think I have healed (enough)? I was away from these people for nearly a decade but I recently moved back.I just try to tell her what they are doing. It took her more than half a decade to finally stop fighting me about it and realize what I've been saying was true all along. She knows now but she is afraid if she leaves my sister will kill herself. Which I highly doubt will happen.I think I am fine. I only text her. But she's basically stuck there. She's got blood in her stool now, possibly from stress from my sister. My dad will not let her come home because he's constantly cheating on her and my sister knows she can make her stay with her "depression".
>>34076319>What am I supposed to do to help my mom? She is at my sister's beck and call even after my sister drove her out of the house making my mom cry.you can't control other people. your mom makes her own decisions. you can take my word for it and try to fix your own life, or you can spend 10 years smashing your head against this problem until the truth sinks in. your call.
>>34076319>I'm also 90% sure my sister has become my dad and both my sister and dad are abusing and manipulating my mom.You need to find out if your niece/nephew is OK. If not, either take care of them or call CPS.But I really think you need to bail on your family. Explain to your sister why you are cutting off contact. Ideally get her to come with you. But get as far from that bad situation as possible.
