week 4
I arrive running, bend when i arrive to gasp for air. I look up and my eyes cross Leah's, she smiles.
I arrive and its her that initiates, she wondered why i was running. Had a brief conversation and the
bus arrived in seconds. We got in. we were standing (no seats) and there was a man between us.
when the man left, she moved closer along her friend.
her best friend (lets call her Alexandra to make things easier) told me what happened to the friend
that stood me up. I told them that he had sent me a message that we wouldnt meet up but i didnt have
internet back then. it wasnt the first time he does that.
leah tells me to avoid getting fooled by him again, fool me once, fool me twice adage.
Ask me about career and classes (whenever possible i always asked back).
The conversation goes quiet, and Leah picks it up again by saying what if the bus stopped
working out of nowhere. I told her we could always move it like the Flintstones.
I poke a bit and ask her if shes a freshman. She did that thing where she would become smaller and
with a cutesy voice say, "well yes im a freshman, medicine". We talk a bit and after a while she
withdraws.
Afterwards i thought she might be interested

week 5
I arrive first, i see her arriving alone. I greet her but she either doesnt see me or ignores me.
I sit on the bench and i greet her, ask her where her friend was and she explains. Then asks me if i
had just arrived. I told her i arrived first lol
i joked about her ignoring me, she said with a smile "nooo i swear i wasnt haha". we then waited
without saying anything.
Then the bus arrived, i got in first and moved wayyy to the back, it was very empty. And, despite all
that space she moved next to me.
After a few minutes i asked what her friend name was, as i had forgotten it. She corrected me
On her friends name, and quickly moved away. This made me think she certainly wasnt interested and i
accepted it normally.
at some point i had a chance to take a seat, i simply tapped on her shoulder, which startled her and
pointed at the seat and moved away without saying anything
I thought well, she definitely doesnt like me so thats fine

week 6
I was sitting outside of my classroom reading something, and i discovered we were attending the same
faculty
I greeted them and leah had a nervous/anxious smile
My class ended and i was walking to the stop alone, and leah called me from behind, by a fake name
("hey cristopher!"). I told her i wasnt cirstopher, she just said it was a saying. it was a bit akward.
we talked a bit, and they walked faster so eventually they were ahead.
When we arrived i simply sat at the bench.
and since we were doing nothing and waiting, i asked a friend if she'd read a comic just to kill time,
she said sure, while smiling. Leah was leaning over her shoulder to see so i told her i had another copy
and she accepted it.
They were confused as to why i would use a pen name.
And leah returned it, jokinly calling me by my pen name. And we talked about local legends
and such things (it revolved around a local legend
While joking with the friend, leah pretending to be exasperated said "oh God, these kids!" i thought
it was sort of endearing in a way

week 7
When i met them Leah instantly asked me how i had done in my exam. I told her more or less, she said "why more or less?"
This time we met on the way and arrived to the stop together. I sat on the bench though the sun was
rather intense.
Leah corrected her friend about my penname, that it wasnt my real name
Leah told me to get out of the sun and i moved to the shade
Her friend was inmersed in her phone, and Leah started askin me a bunch of questions (i tried to return
some)
What do i do at my job
If i have siblings
Wether i live in a gated community
If my siblings studied the same thing as me
at which age did i started attending college

etc...
I told her a lame joke at some point and she got red from laughter, that kind of laughter that comes
in waves, while pressing her eyes and repeating what i had done
At some point she decided to tell me a story of a boy and his pet, and while talking we were
making direct eye contact, which i found strange as i usually have trouble sustaining eye contact
but i didnt feel any urge to look away, i was expecting her to look away but she didnt...

Week 8, last week
By coincidence i met them in the bus i use to go to uni instead of the bus i use to come from university.
I was looking for a seat and her friend pinched me on the side, both of them were smiling. And we had a
nice conversation. At the end of the trip they told me they would show me a shortcut
Her friend got off the bus, and when it was my time, Leah told me to go first, i told her to go first, we had a
small exchange for a few seconds (no, YOU go first)

So while going through this shortcut, we were walking by a very shady place, Leah told me "dont worry we didnt"
take you here to steal your belongings!"

and when at some point we had to use some stone stairs to get into a baseball field, leah told her friend:
"Hey you go first so you can help Alex go up!" I thought that didnt make sense, they were just....
stairs, nobody needed help. And if help was needed shouldnt I, the tallest and strongest go first
actually?
Her friend went up, didnt help me obviously as that didnt make sense. Since leah was ahead of me i
expected her to go after her, but she tried to... bypass the stairs (?) wich seemed sort of impossible
while she was doing this i went after her friend. And afterwards Leah would attempt to go up...
but, she seemed having trouble (?) with some small stone stairs (?) i was absolutely confused. Her
friend said "girl but youre taller than me!" never understood what happened
And when we were arriving she said "We are gonna be late and its all thanks to alex, we will take vengeance!"
And laughed like a villain in a cartoon (quite goofy)

I lend a book to her friend, to be returned after her class.
During my class i was expecting the friend to appear on my classroom's door, but who i saw appearing
was, well leah. I want out and Leah asked me if my class wasnt over yet, i said i had an hour left
So she turned aorund quickly and her friend returned the book.

A few days after i contacted Leah (exchanged emails), she replied sort of dryly, i asked her
since i would be around the library often next term if she was around we could hang out
She simply said she doesnt really go to the library, and asked me what i would do there
So i replied, and she hasnt answered in 13 days lol

Did i misread something here? and thanks if you read up to this point. I usually document
things with care

>>34079298
I know you aren't finished or maybe you just now finished, I read like 60% of it, trust me that I don't need to read any more to see that this is a lot of overthinking over really mundane interactions. You don't know the heights that other men reach when they go out and meet girls. Girls who are interested are very explicit, hugs, compliments, close body language and being around you physically, looking at you, talking to you. And it feels like it comes easy. It feels like they want to be there. It's easy to miss if you aren't paying attention - you just live your life, and suddenly, a certain woman is really easy to talk to, and she seems receptive to your conversations, and things just go well and flow easy.
For me this always happens with women that I don't expect it to happen with - usually with women I'm not very attracted to, so the pressure is off, internally, and they just so happen to be people on the same wavelength as me.
I'd wager that me not being attracted to a woman, means that I don't feel like I have to pursue her or do something. It makes me less stressed, and I don't fear failure, because there's nothing to fail AT. This let's me behave in ways I otherwise wouldn't, like, behaviors I would mask around girls I'm attracted to. Or maybe I won't interact with the girl I'm attracted to much, or at all.

So yeah, my verdict is that you are tripping. There's nothing between you and her. Nothing at all. You're building impossible stories in your head based off some facial expressions and feelings she made you feel when she behaves in certain ways. It's all you. She sees nothing. And even if she did see something - you wouldn't know how to get close, because there's no manual on how to get this specific girl.
But I can tell you, in general - be around them, and try to internally, not feel pressured to pursue or impress or succeed around girls you find attractive. That has always ended terribly for me.

>>34079333
Dont worry, thanks for reading lol
I was also thinking i was tripping most of the time, but it was during week 8 and 7 that i thought i had a chance lol
And yeah im done, she has ignored my last message for almost two weeks so i guess thats it

>Girls who are interested are very explicit, hugs, compliments, close body language and being around you physically, looking at you, talking to you.

Hmm, i suppose i have no frame of reference for that so its a bit complicated...

>This let's me behave in ways I otherwise wouldn't, like, behaviors I would mask around girls I'm attracted to. Or maybe I won't interact with the girl I'm attracted to much, or at all.

yeah i think its harder to become clingy if you dont really care about impressing someone.
During highschool there was this kind of ritual where all sort of girls would pretend to be into me as a joke, it was like mock-flirt. so it kind of left a mark

>But I can tell you, in general - be around them, and try to internally, not feel pressured to pursue or impress or succeed around girls you find attractive. That has always ended terribly for me.

Thanks ill keep it in mind ;_;
I suppose thats why she ghosted me

>>34079298
>exchanged emails
who does this in 2025? ask gor her number or instagram, either way just keep talking irl and suggest hanging out verbally since she seemed more receptive, do not invite her to the library you fucking nerd

>>34079388
i was nervous and ended up asking for email lel
I dont know how to talk to her after being ignored for several days

>>34079437
ignore the ghosting, act like nothing happened and just keep doing the bus interactions

>>34079359
thanks for the well thought out reply.
I understand not having a frame of reference, that makes things really difficult. I went out there to a bunch of meetups and I saw "the world", proverbially, I've just been to atleast 100 meetups of all kinds and types. It took me 6-7 months. I saw guys who irl-max, I saw how girls act when they are interested, I saw how girls act when they lose interest. I saw so many different types of behaviours, it really helps to go out there and to look.

>Isuppose thats why she ghosted me
I think that this is good reflection and even better if you actually believe it. Because yeah, your internal feeling is directly tied to the outcome of the situation. Masking is what I do too but it only gets me so far. You don't win with masking, people will eventually see through it. If you're truly nervous around a girl - your chances (if any ever existed to begin with) are gone. there won't be anything. Even if she wants you and signals in all the ways, shit won't happen, because you'll self-sabotage your own success. Think about that. I know It's hard to think forward but you seem like a really nice guy from the way you type, reminds me of me a bit with the thanks and the ";-;" hhaha
so I'm sure that you can think forward.
Think to a situation where a girl actually does want you. Your spaghetti would spill all over the place, you would question her over why. either verbally or in your head, and It'll translate into action or INAction possibly.

So yeah, the change starts from within. You have to be comfortable around girls you're attracted to. You have to be comfortable around guys & people you view as successful and attractive, this is all tied to self worth. I call myself a fucking nigger sometimes out of reflex, I unironically in my own head value myself very low while I see others who have really really good jobs like engineers as successful, and I equate attractiveness to being a good person too which is another problem I have.

1/2

2/2

It's really really easy for me to overlook these things and to just kinda tell myself "nah I'm worth it, yeah, all is good, I'm worth it", but behave like I'm not worth it. I put them on a pedestal. I do this. And I noticed it about myself.
So yeah, the internal feeling, work on that. Think about it in these two ways together simultaneously:
1) If I'm worried about impressing, I won't get the girl because I'm too nervous
2) I don't have to get a girl out of this situation, I don't HAVE to pursue, I can let go
unironically this has several effects:
1) You're calmer, your life is easier. I find myself sometimes acting really proper and straight next to girls I find attractive at the train station, on the bus, outside, anywhere. It's really gay I can't help it, this kind of signaling is bad, just even a minor interaction makes me shape up all of a sudden, It's really bad. Women and people can see right through this and they read it as desperation.
2) Girls might actually want you more, now that you actually seem calm and collected, because they think you're comfortable in your own life. The risk here that I have faced oh so many times - is that when she signals interest (whoever SHE is for the time) I let myself go, I skip my hobbies, I skip school, I skip taking care of myself to go on that date, to see her, to go out of my way for this girl. This is BAD, and again, reads like desperation and eventually when it doesn't work out I feel disappointed and I feel like SHIT.
3) You're actually comfortable in your own life. So if something with a girl DOESN'T work out, unironically, unifuckingronically you CARE LESS. Its so stupid that it works this way but it does.

You're sort of insulating yourself from harm by "being your own person" or whatever, I hate that so much because when you want something you pursue it right?? that's what we're taught our whole lives. But with relationships, unfortunately, you're better off seeming complete, & certain, & to let her choose.

>>34079273
Just out of curiosity man, where is this Uni located?

>>34079539
listen to this anon
>Think to a situation where a girl actually does want you. Your spaghetti would spill all over the place, you would question her over why. either verbally or in your head, and It'll translate into action or INAction possibly.
so fucking true lol

Holy fuck tldr
Probably just kill your self or get this published lol

>>34079359
>why she ghosted me
That would require the two of you to have something in the first place