so yea yea im a jeet , and a muslim jeet no less I have grown up in the west my whole life. Truth be told, I've never been that religious and drifted away from my culture over the course of my twenties , to the point where I don't even speak my native language in earnest anymore and lost my fluency and only have a few broken phrases in the back pocket and some directional cues for things. As it would later turn out , I got some pretty major adhd (confirmed, diagnosed from a shrink etc) so keeping on top of 5 prayers a day is lowkey hell on earth for me. But unfortunately I was never able to truly escape the clutches of my conservative islamic desi parents in this economy and didn't became some hot shot success. They are hell bent on getting me arranged married despite this failure , with ideally a match in tow by the end of 2026. Now this doesn't mean I'll be married by the end of 2026, just engaged most likely and it would take another year to truly save up for a wedding and do it.
>>34079451Here's the problem , I don't even have a career lmao , I got laid off in tech and haven't gotten back on my feet since , and savings are just survival. They don't want to listen to common sense either. Now I'm going to have a real hail mary 2026 and just go balls to the walls to see if I can figure something out and I do have some prospects opening (that involve moving away) but its totally unsure right now and won't be clear till mid year. I'm not muslim and haven't been for the last I say 1-2 years either when I truly accepted it. But being so dependent on my parents, I'm debating if I should re-teach myself the language and recommit to Islam , the problem my heart isn't really in it. It's just not the truth to me. But ironically, I think would lead to the most stable outcome if I pursue this cultural restart. If can't escape my fate by the end of 2026, is it in my best interest to pursue my culture again?
>>34079451>I got some pretty major adhdcaused by parasites and toxins
>>34079456You shouldn't. I say this as someone who has a very strong belief in God, there is no point in doing the practices if you don't believe in God in your heart. I pray you can get on your feet again and get a job. Try to be a good husband, just be kind to your wife, she'll appreciate that
>>34079457thats one problem I hope to work on, I am deep in the /x/ world too , but bigger fish to fry
Stop being so dependent on ur parents? Why are you so enmeshed with them. They are outdated and you should seek your own view that integrates whatever you learn from them with what the world is actually like
>>34079514I do believe in "God" - its just not the abrahamic interpetation / practices for it anymore. I appreciate the prayers thanks , so u suggest being transparent with this wife about my true beliefs? >>34079533money, I just never have enough of it to really get out. I do feel a sense of debt to them , so part of whatever I make does go back to them
>>34079564Whether you need to communicate about your true beliefs to your wife depends a lot on your wife. If she is devout, then yes you will need to tell her that you believe in God but are not a Muslim. If religion isn't a huge part of her life, you may not need to bring it up at all
>>34079451What if she's cute and cool tho?
>>34079564Islam is a particularly strict version of theism however at the end of the day it’s just celebrating God. Marriage is a two way street. You need to support your wife but also she needs to support you and your beliefs.You seem to be stuck in a bad position, but you should explain to your future wife that you are not a strict Muslim and don’t wish to follow the religion strictly. If she’s a worthy wife, she will understand and accommodate your beliefs. If she isn’t, don’t marry her. The ramifications of being married to a bad partner are way worse than ruining your relationship with your parents.
>>34080489fair play >>34080527If she's those things, she wouldn't marry me in the first place, im a 5 6 stuttering incel in my late twenties kek , I do have some things personality wise going for me despite that description, but my goal is to get that stench off this year and really do a 180. But I'm trying to be realistic as well - she'll probably be some overweight brown chick fml , if I get a skinny one , it'll solely be for the passport/taking advantage of me. I'd be happy to make a life with the chubby chick, but it takes two to tango as you know. And people will put on any mask they need too to get a passport out of those hell holes - that's why I'm so reluctant about these marriages in the first place and ironically every marriage in my family has been total shit besides one and that was an aunt who essentially escaped the typical path. >>34080533This is a good answer. But I have to be a strong enough guy to make demands in the first place and have people capitulate , and I totally agree - bad partner is the worst thing ever
>>34079456I knew a girl who was in a similar situation and the guy knew it but didn't call it off and the pressure is much more on the girl. If you are a good person and can tell she isn't' into you really but is being forced because you have citizenship or some shit, be the better man and say you're not into her.
>>34082009yeah ofc, I ain't trying to force anyone into anything. My goal is to have a real and frank discussion about everything in private with the potential suitor. So they know exactly what they are getting into.
You got a disc? I think I am in a somewhat similar spot as you. Would be cool to chat with someone anonymously about it for a bit.I don't have an arranged marriage lined up and am not 5'6, but I am basically late 20s, born in america in a "muslim" household. I honestly don't think marriage or dating is in our cards. But maybe its a bit doomer to say rn
>>34082091paladin1000 ? i dont use it much , let me know if it works or not
