I told her that I did not like it and that I wanted her to only talk to her IRL friends. Not to people from the internet. She assured me that she would do that from now on. Now I learn she met one of her friends, when I was gone. Seemingly went on a "date" with him. At first, I was not worried, because he's in his 40s and my girlfriend and I are in our 20s. But the more I think of it, the more suspicious I become. I would never go on a "date" with a women, even if she was a "platonic" friend of mine. Am I being cheated down? Am I too paranoid? Is it normal for girls to regularly talk to their male "friends" on social media?None of this sits well with me. I've been thinking of breaking up, but I'm not sure and I want to have a second opinion.
she is constantly seeing other options for herself. in fact it sounds like she’s being showered in other options. whether she is doing this intentionally or not (it’s probably intentional) it is going to change how she views you and her loyalty to you. if she went and hung out with a dude 20 years older than her while you were “gone” and didn’t tell you about it there’s a good chance she’s unfaithful. I’m sorry anon.
>went on a "date" when you were goneEven if there was no cheating involved, that's a huge relation breaking red flag.
>>34080169>that's a huge relation breaking red flagNo anon that is a relationship ending date she had. No man should try to salvage this. Many of you guys think you can somehow convince a "girlfriend" to understand and stop this men collecting behavior and you cannot. Heres OP chasing his deflated ego down a rabbit hole hoping she didn't do anything else when dating another man is ENOUGH. You don't have to search for her motivation and try to fill that hole when she cultivates and harvest men and they all put up with it.
>>34080120>I told her that I did not like it and that I wanted her to only talk to her IRL friends. Not to people from the internet. She assured me that she would do that from now on.Yeah that won't fix anything because then she will start seeing other men in person to fuck around with.>Now I learn she met one of her friends, when I was gone.See? Exactly what happened.>Seemingly went on a "date" with him.Who the fuck goes out on "dates" with other people who are not their partner? >At first, I was not worried, because he's in his 40s and my girlfriend and I are in our 20s.So she has dad issues. >Am I being cheated on?Yes. >Am I too paranoid?No, paranoia is only paranoia when you fear things that do not exist or have not come to exist. This situation is real and exists, your girlfriend went on a date with a 40 year old man.>Is it normal for girls to regularly talk to their male "friends" on social media?When they're single yes. When they're in a relationship no. Any talk to guys after getting ina committed relationship dials down to silence, or at the most a "happy holidays" to all friends male and female and they just happen to include the guys because it's polite, but that's it.>None of this sits well with me.Because your gut instinct is trying to tell you that you are in mental and emotional danger.>I've been thinking of breaking up, but I'm not sure and I want to have a second opinion.There is only one scenario where this is savable: You have to find out whether she is a pathological liar, and knowing cheater, or, an oblivious and unsocialised girl who is so socially inept she has no clue that what she is doing is extremely inappropriate, like a female sperg or something. If it's the former, you're fucked and the relationship is fucked. If it's the latter, you're not fucked, but the relationship is still fucked anyway because you'll have to emotionally potty train a grown woman and you'll get called controlling for your efforts
Nah I'm good
>>34080169>>34080261It's someone that she has known for a long time IRL. And they've met each other before. So this guy's not somebody she's met online recently.
>>3408030040-year old stranger, 40-year old coworker 40-year old mailman who cares? This is another man who is not family related at all taking your girlfriend and showing her a real nice time in presumably pseudo-romantic locations like a cafe or a diner or at the movies. Did you know that 40 year old men have testicles, a cock and a sex drive too?
>>34080300Doesn't matter, could be her mother, her brother, Santa, anyone, you don't go on "dates" with other people when in a relationship >>34080307It's not even the fact he's 40, but the date thing
>>34080291If she's cheating on me, then why does she want to have sex with me? I think she's socially inept. In any case, you're right. I have to end it. Thanks for your advice, man.
>>34080312>If she's cheating on me, then why does she want to have sex with me?maintenance sex meant to keep you satiated and aloof
>>34080312>If she's cheating on me, then why does she want to have sex with me?Because cheaters do this thing where they “want to have their cake and eat it too”. Which is a dumb idiom at face value because what else are you supposed to do with cake lmao. But the idiom means cheaters want to have the benefits of sex or romance with their partner & sex or romance with other people at the same time. They want the benefits of a committed relationship, but just without that pesky ‘commitment’ part, because giving up freedom or making sacrifices is just too hard for their pre-fontal cortexes to fathom. They do not understand the concept of long term pay-off, only short term satisfaction. Which is fine, fuck it, if thats what they wanna be thats what they should be. But for some reason people like this decide its a marvellous idea to enter committed relationships for fuck knows what reason. >I think she’s socially inept.I don’t know her at all since I’m just text on a 4chan thread. But I think so too based on what little info you already gave. If she was an intentional malicious lying cheater, no way in hell would she tell you “i went on a date with this guy when you were gone”. Actual cheaters would never expose themselves so boldly, actual cheats would lie, lie, lie, deflect, deflect, smokescreen verbally and manipulate. the only person who would admit to this so flippantly would be someone who genuinely doesn't understand what theyre doing wrong. At all, like zero fucking social grasp. So if you do dump her, let her down gentle, bit of mercy and make a quiet exit. No need to go apeshit on her since she doesn’t seem to understand anything. How long you been dating her anyway?
>>34080310>Doesn't matter, could be her mother, her brother, Santa, anyone, you don't go on "dates" with other people when in a relationship.Yeah I agree, because we both understand what those quotes mean around “dates”, its unspoken social tact that goes without saying, obviously. But what will surprise you anon is there are many people whose brains cannot see that unspoken social tact and cannot comprehend unseen social rules or boundaries, their mind is genuinely blind to it. “Date” to them could mean absolutely anything, anything at all. They have zero clue, they may just think a date is when one person agrees to meet another person just because talking is nice and thats all. So they would call meeting with an old lady at a park a “date”. Yes some people are socially fucked like this.
>>34080120these kinds of threads have to be ragebait, cuckbait shitposts, right?
>>34080343>How long you been dating her anyway?We've been dating for 1.5 years now. She's been very sweet to me. Never lied. She has no history of cheating or "suspicious" break ups, either. I think she's inept and naive about men's intentions, because she was a NEET loner living with her mom and then dad before I met her. Shame I'll have to give her up. But it's for the better.
>>34080404>We've been dating for 1.5 years now. She's been very sweet to me. Never lied. She has no history of cheating or "suspicious" break ups, either. I think she's inept and naive about men's intentions, because she was a NEET loner living with her mom and then dad before I met her. Shame I'll have to give her up. But it's for the better.Hm.. do yourself a solid. Tell her plainly and directly you do not want her to speak with any males online or offline and never go out to meet with them by herself period. You tell her plainly and calmly and cite the reason that it’s because it’s inappropriate and makes you extremely uncomfortable. Leave her with that, and give yourself at least a few days to a week before jumping the gun. Make no mention of possibly breaking up to her, only mention it when you do it in the same sentence if you finally decide that is what you want to do. Reason I mention this is because if she’s as NEET as you say, spergy autist, then she won’t know the rules of engagement because nobody bothered to tell her. And had she known, she’d never have agreed to talk to random men who she naively assumed were just being ‘nice’ And you might wanna see how she reacts once you tell her those rules plainly. She may very well agree and abide by it without hassle. Or she may chimp out and deflect on you hard and shame you for setting a boundary. See how she responds to the boundary. If she plays ball, your relationship can continue smoothly. Up to you though brother, there’s no right or wrong option here. Just whatever you feel is the best fit. All the best and good luck
>>34080120>went on a "date" with himDude you got cucked lol
>>34080120>Girlfriend has lots of male "friends"> she met one of her friends, when I was gone. Seemingly went on a "date" with him> I've been thinking of breaking up, but I'm not sure and I want to have a second opinion.LMAO. Really? You have to ask? Dump that whore.
Was it a "date"? Why use the word "date"? A "date" implies romantic intention, whereas hanging out implies just platonically spending time with another (which could lead to romantic escalation but is not a given). Get your words right
