Beautiful women fill me with dread. Especially if she's older, intelligent, fun to be around, and fucking most definitely if she likes me. The more a woman shows interest in me, the more dread I feel. I can't stop thinking about her, I walk around all day barely paying attention to life. If she smiles at me I wanna kill myself. I think it's the hope, the hope that this time I'll finally grow some balls and ask her out. The hope that she might say yes, that we might end up together. The fear that she might say no, or that she might change her mind later. The fear that we'll fall in and then out of love. I dread dread dread all day, until eventually she either loses interest or I remove myself from her path. Whenever I cut a woman out of my life, I feel at peace again. Empty, depressed, lonely, yearnful... But at peace. I guess that just means I'm weak, insecure, and I can't handle the challenge, I can't handle life. I can't handle love.
>>34086765Love is a bit of a meme bro. I don't recommend it. It's just a crude emotional reaction that is there for us to reproduce. It has little relation to the lofty ideals we make up in our minds.Take for instance, the 50% divorce rate. Followed by ass rape in divorce court. What does that have to do with love?
Try to be happy being alone even if it is difficult. Let me tell you something that is beautiful that you can do alone. Go outside, go for a walk and see the beautiful winter environment you are in. Look at all the birds and wild animals flocking about, and be happy like them with their lives. You don't see them depressed or miserable for not finding a mate, you see them flocking around looking for a meal. You need to be like that. So right now grab your running shoes and go for a walk.
>>34086774But normies will tell you it's better to have loved and lost. Everyone pretty much knows the first 6 months of the relationship are the best, and everything afterwards is just work. But are those 6 months worth it? There's this woman, man I'm so in love with her I want to die. And the fact that she might like me too is just tearing me up. But every time I try to take things deeper, she'll say or do something and I reel back from anxiety. I just wish she'd spit in my face and tell me to fuck off. When I think about her my stomach hurts.
>>34086777You may not believe this but I spend most of my time walking. Got tired of vidya, got tired of the internet, and no real friends so... I walk. Usually for 3 to 5 hours at a time, just walking. Thinking. It doesn't help at all. I do appreciate the animals and the trees and especially the sky. I love the sky more than anything... Except the woman I'm yearning for. It just makes me feel more lonely.
>>34086786>But are those 6 months worth it?In my opinion, no. Every moment of pleasure or love that you experience turns into an equal amount of pain when you lose her. I honestly prefer just being even-keeled and not engaging in any emotional rollercoaster.>There's this woman, man I'm so in love with her I want to die. And the fact that she might like me too is just tearing me up.That's not a great situation. It's better if she loves you and you just like her. Meaning that she should be putting in more effort than you, or at least equal effort.I've done what you've done multiple times and it never worked out.
>>34086794Anon, you're not doing it enough okay. Keep trying to enjoy life alone. The moment you are at its peak you'll comfortably have conversations with women knowing you're okay no matter what happens, as opposed to these idiot NTs who get overly excited and freak out all the time.
