I have always had obsessive tendencies, when I was 13 I got obsessed with social justice. When I was 16 I got obsessed with religion. Both were terrible times. Now that I'm 20, the obsession is alt-right sites. It all started when I was about 19, I was going through a phase and wanted to be more edgy, so I started lurking Kiwifarms. Originally I just enjoyed the slurs and edgy humor but then I started scrolling the actual calls to action and the ideologies and it began fucking me up pretty bad. Especially the paraphilia shit, the forum tends to call random things pedophilia and zoophilia, and it's been gasoline on all my hobbies. I've dropped so much shit fearing it's pedo-adjacent or zoo-adjacent. And I've genuinely stayed up entire nights just worrying "What if I accidentally do something pedophilic?". I'm genuinely scared of children now and avoid them like the plague cause I'm so scared, what if this is pedophilic and I don't even know it? What if this is? What if being worried about not being a pedophile is pedophilic because you're thinking about pedophiles? Either way I eventually got banned from Kiwifarms cause I kept asking people if (blank) made me a pedo and Null got sick of my shit I guess. Then I found out about the Sharty, and it's gotten even worse since they have even stricter ideas of pedophilia than Kiwifarms. My sleep has been genuinely awful these past few days, staying up until 4 AM scrolling /raid/ making sure that no one's getting raided for anything I've ever done. Cause if they have, that would make ME a pedo, right? I spent all of New Years just scrolling the Sharty and screenshotting posts for reassurance, I didn't spend any time with my family. I remember before I was banned, a Kiwifarmer told me not to touch the Sharty and to avoid it like the plague cause it'd make things so much worse. But I can't. Even as I'm typing this I'm like shaking and restless cause I just NEED to check it again, it's a NEED.
>>34112105Cont.Whenever I check KF or the Sharty after a long time of not checking it, I get this rush of euphoria like I'm smoking a cigarette, it's ridiculous. I can't go outside, cause when I do, I just think "Damn I'd rather be at home checking KF/Sharty". It's also been shit on my self confidence, I'm a POC, so constantly seeing me talked about as if I'm subhuman has made me just feel awful. I've given up on the prospect of dating, I just genuinely could never feel lovable after all of what I've seen. Gore of children of my race being celebrated. Fucking hell, I've seen so many dead kids. I want to cry now. Genuinely it feels like ending it would fix all my problems. I was thinking about it last night, laying awake, just thinking to myself. Dead people can't be pedos, they can't be subhuman, cause they're dead. I won't have to worry about hurting anyone cause I can't hurt anyone when I'm dead. It GENUINELY sounds like the smartest option but I know it's wrong cause my family would be destroyed. But it sounds SO RIGHT.
Gonna doomscroll a bit more. Cause why not.
>staying up until 4AM scrolling /raid/ making sure that no one's getting raided for anything I've ever done.Do nusoicacas really?
>>34112105>And I've genuinely stayed up entire nights just worrying "What if I accidentally do something pedophilic?"This sounds like a very disruptive Intrusive Thought, it's a pretty common symptom of OCD>I kept asking people if (blank) made me a pedo>even as I'm typing this I'm like shaking and restless cause I just NEED to check it again, it's a NEED.It's gonna be a little bit embarrassing for you, but you HAVE to talk to a psychiatrist about this. Don't be vague about it, tell them everything you told us and they'll be able to help you.
>>34112505>This sounds like a very disruptive Intrusive Thought, it's a pretty common symptom of OCDKF said the same thing, that I have POCD. I don't like that possibility though cause the last thing I want is any record of mine having the word "pedophile" no matter the context.>but you HAVE to talk to a psychiatrist about this.I told one about it, she seemed taken aback, and started me on a small dose of prozac. But I ran out recently, and idk how to get a refill.
Tldr you are a pedo a nasty nasty filthy pedo you are an irredeemable evil pedo, there happy?
>>34112525>there happy?Not really, no
>>34112510>she seemed taken aback, and started me on a small dose of prozac.Medication will probably helpful but i think you need a more active approach. I've read ERP (Exposure and Respose Prevention) therapy is good for OCD. >But I ran out recently, and idk how to get a refill.Call your pharmacy and ask how to get a refill, they'll help you out. If they can't, then call whoever prescribed the prozac to you. Either way you should keep looking for treatment.>the last thing I want is any record of mine having the word "pedophile" no matter the context.Are you worried about BEING a pedophile, or are you worried about being PERCIEVED as a pedophile?
>>34112533There's nothing you can do about it so might as well just be happy about it
>>34112537>I've read ERP (Exposure and Respose Prevention)Oh no. No no no no no, I NEVER want to do that. I know it's anti-recovery but I just can't expose myself to my fears I just can't.>Call your pharmacy and ask how to get a refill, they'll help you out. If they can't, then call whoever prescribed the prozac to you. Either way you should keep looking for treatment.Thank you, this is actually really informative. Will do.>Are you worried about BEING a pedophile, or are you worried about being PERCIEVED as a pedophile?In my eyes, if I'm perceived as a pedophile that means I am one. That's why I spend so long searching to see what random people consider pedophilia.>>34112538I understand what you're getting at, I really do, but it's just really not that simple for me. I wish it was.
>>34112105>I'm genuinely scared of children now and avoid them like the plague cause I'm so scared, what if this is pedophilic and I don't even know it? What if this is? What if being worried about not being a pedophile is pedophilic because you're thinking about pedophiles?This is the correct approach. People will defame you for ANYTHING THEY CAN.
>>34112623Even if I got better I still wouldn't want to be around kids. Risky business. I'm uncomfortable with being around people even just younger than me now desu, even if they're above 18
>>34112934OP, you're not a pedophile. Being worried about it after spending all of this time online on these sites is actually quite rational. You've spent hours dredging through forums where users ruin people's lives over any suspicion of being a pedo. You seem to be a highly suggestible and influenceable person is all. So now, when you even see or think about children, you associate it with this crazy online witch-hunt stuff.You would know if you were really a pedophile. After all, pedos tend to actually try to do weird shit to kids, there is no indication you have done anything. You may be just accidentally associating yourself with being a pedo.I think if you spoke to a psychiatrist as you were saying above and explained all of this, but then also said that you arent attracted to children you are just paranoid about the accusations, they would understand and you wouldn't be in trouble. Anyway, for now, you need to ween yourself off of these sites. it isn't natural. That compulsion to return to the same sites HAS TO STOP. You need to set a timer for using the sites for instance, and over the days, turn down the timer. And don't post. Whatever you do it needs to involve getting off these stupid sites. Maybe get into a TV show instead.
>>34113070Wow, thank you, honestly. This is very well worded and clear. I'm gonna screenshot this and save this.Setting a timer is unironically genius, can't believe I never thought of that. I'll be honest, it's genuinely hard imagining a world without these sites. Like I genuinely can't, it sounds wrong almost. Like going without oxygen. But I know that's exactly what addicts say ("I can't imagine not getting drunk everyday" or something).I am actually into stuff. I've put most of it on hold so I can scroll these sites instead, but I like MLP. Not really a "brony" as in I don't want to fuck the characters, I grew up with it as a child, I was the target demographic. I enjoy rewatching it. I've been wanting to finish Red Vs. Blue too so maybe I should do that.
>>34112105Why don't you fuck a granny then, just not (You)r granny.
>>34113782No thanks, I don't. Like sex.
>>34113368Hey OP, I've come back to say that I appreciate the thank you and I'm glad you responded so positively. You clearly mean well and you want actual help, which makes you far better than like 90% of posters on /adv/ who ask for help. There's something about you that sets you above other people I think. It may sound patronising but it isn't - hold onto that willingness and personality, because it's definitely there and there is a goodness about you.As you said, keep the screenshot somewhere convenient and refer back to it if you feel yourself slipping. Another thing id recommend is this - choose an audiobook or podcast etc to get into and find a way to listen to it on headphones so that you can listen to it outside, whilst on a walk or something, ideally with no internet connection (so its a download only). For instance, VLC has a phone app which is good for offline files. I download audiobooks (you can find online DLs for those easily if you know where to look) and I go for walks whilst listening to them (I'm on The Hobbit rn). This not only gives you an enjoyable thing to consume (like Red Vs Blue is for you), but it is also healthy (sun - exercise - new experiences - and so on). Also, by being offline for real, you just cannot take these stupid forums as an option.Last thing to say - it is OK to succumb to addiction, paranoia, etc. we are all human, even the most powerful and talented out there fall for it (eg rockstars for drugs). But what is NOT acceptable is willingly and knowingly engaging in the addiction when you know for yourself it is a problem. You've recognised the problem, so well done - but now you know the next part: you CANNOT allow yourself to continue with these sites. Good luck bro, you have it in you to heal!
>>34112105I stopped checking KF after I realized the site really only exists for Josh Moon to lazily have content for his podcast and make money. I did no Null November and consumed no Null content that whole month and have only checked a few times since. Turns out there is really not much worth checking or commenting on there.
>>34114942Thank you, and amazing picrel. It reminds me of a lyric from one of my favorite bandsThe audio book thing is also really smart, like you said, it gives me something to do and I literally cannot go back to the sites since I'd have no wifi. I never was an audiobook person, I usually prefer reading the actual book, but podcasts at least sound interesting. I know I briefly liked MrBallen's when I was like 18Again, thank you, I also get very good vibes from you that you genuinely want to help :)>>34115178No Null November? That's a thing?
OP, as others have said you need to get off these sites, including this one for the most part. However, the underlying problem is your obsessions which will simply move to another topic once you squash this one. If you don’t seek help from either a therapist, psychologist, or very emotionally mature and tuned in friend, your condition will continue to deteriorate as you get older. For now:Install the leech block extension on your browser. Learn it and block these sites; read into how to prevent yourself from getting around the blocks also. I can help you with this. Also buy the AppBlock app for your phone- when it’s blocked theres no way to get around it. I’m similar to you in terms of my compulsions and theres no way for me to stop on willpower alone - hell, I’m only posting this because my one month block on here and KF just ran out. But your mind is the next thing you need to fix and you need to take the scary first steps of seeking help.
>>34115448>this one for the most part.I will say, this one is actually a good break from those sites. I know I sound like an addict justifying but unironically, 4chan is a lifesaver. Cause it has such a shit reputation, that whenever I see something that I'm tempted to obsess over, I can just say "It's 4chan, no one knows what they're talking about". And outside of that, it's so nice to have a space where I can rant and scream into a void about the sites I'm actually addicted to, and I'll find people who are like "Oh ya FUCK those places". It's a nice break.>I can help you with this. Also buy the AppBlock app for your phone- when it’s blocked theres no way to get around it. I’m similar to you in terms of my compulsions and theres no way for me to stop on willpower alone - hell, I’m only posting this because my one month block on here and KF just ran out. But your mind is the next thing you need to fix and you need to take the scary first steps of seeking help.I'm assuming the app costs money? Maybe I need it though... That's crazy though. A month away from the Sharty and KF. Insane to think about...
>>34115419>No Null November? That's a thing?Yeah but you counld do no Janny Jersh January for the rest of the month don't look at KF and don't watch MATI. If you see a link or a screenshot that's ok just don't click on it. No Josh Don't look at his X or telegram. You can do it i'll do no Janny Josh January with you!
>>34115978The app is only like ten bucks for a year- worth it for your mental health. And yes, I find myself taking a month break at a time and allowing for a few days between to catch up. Think about what I said man, I mean it all and it will help you.
>>34116444Oh gosh I actually don't know if I could, a whole month sounds like a big leap, y'know? Plus I'd probably just go deeper into the Sharty which I'll be honest has been worse on my mental health. Like KF was bad but at least I could sleep at night fuckin HELL>>34116602I will think about it, 10 bucks a year isn't... That bad... Hm.
Update. I've thought of a nifty trick to curb my Sharty addiction at the very least.The Sharty considers pretty much everything pedophillia/EPI, right? So, I've probably already done something they consider pedophilia. So what's the point of scrolling it? You're already irredeemable in their eyes.I was thinking of this, cause I was thinking back to this one time in senior high where I accidentally made a sex joke to a freshman, not knowing the context of the joke was sexual. Average people would say "It was an accident, no biggie." basedteens would say "EPI, KYS!" so... That's that! Right? Right. I may stop scrolling now.
>>34120053Despite this I still scroll. FML.I havent been checking KF much though, just the Sharty. The way I see it, it's sorta like harder drugs. KF is too reasonable, I need something more rigid. Though I know that's bad. Like the other poster said, I have to be strong and ween off these sites. I may have to set harsher rules. When it came to the timer, I said to myself "That only applies to scrolling, passively checking dosen't count.", maybe I should make it count?I genuinely love this site, 4chan, it's such a fucking respite.
>>34112105You sound confused and out of control, you need to spend more time in the real world and less time in your head and weird sites. It's a matter of dosage.Age of consent was 10-12 100 years ago (https://cyh.rrchnm.org/primary-sources/24.html), modern society's concept of pedophilia is twisted, you are probably normal, stop overthinking it. If you are going to seek help for the doom scrolling addiction, starting to talk about pedophilia will likely only unnecessarily complicate things.Humanity will never get over racism, as long as you aren't illegal immigrant, just go spend time with your people.
>>34121418>starting to talk about pedophiliaI know it doesn’t yet I keep doing it, I keep doing it cause I think it’s good for me but it’s bad for me. I can’t stress how depressed these fucking sites have made me. And I always see people post on them like “This site is the best omg it makes me so happy!” And it’s like how!? You HAVE to be lying! It’s MISERABLE there! MISERABLE!Either way, improvement today. Only stayed up till 3 AM scrolling the sharty rather than the usual 5 AM.
>>34121442I think these weird fringes sometimes expose something real about society, which is why you can't stop looking away from it. This is probably an evolutionary mechanism that helps us diagnose and fix problems in society. And I won't deny the society kinda needs it right now.However, this process is mentally taxing, and that's why we have also evolved the ability to look away and run from non-immediate or too painful issues or topics. You also need this to stay sane.The problem is that the introduction of internet has hyper-optimized and amplified the formation of these fringes in a way that's unnatural and even more unhealthy. In old society, you maybe read an article on newspaper or heard a rumor so there was no need for moderation, the amount of information was naturally limited. Now that you can suck it up with 10x the intensity, it's just going to rape your mind. You have to use higher level thinking, realize it's bad for you and moderate it. It's the same thing as with industrial sugar products overriding our satiety signals, you can no longer just eat whatever you want because the artificial stuff bypasses the signals.Try to replace it with something more normal. <2010 movies and shows or something. I've lately played some Elden Ring, it's sort of meditative and forces me to think and plan enough to take my mind off things.
>>34121474>I think these weird fringes sometimes expose something real about society, which is why you can't stop looking away from it. This is probably an evolutionary mechanism that helps us diagnose and fix problems in society. And I won't deny the society kinda needs it right now.Yessss. I always think “I can’t drop these sites, they have so much truth to them that I never would’ve realized before”, but with truth comes lies, and the lies make me so miserable, what’s even the point of the truth at that point?><2010 movies and shows or something.It’s a bit hard to pay attention to anything nowadays, I get so restless and think I have to have to HAVE TO check KF or the Sharty. I need to give myself some sort of incentive to not check them… Fuck. Sorry I’m a bit frantic right now.
>>34112105>i am ashamed of caring about things
I HATE THESE SITES I FUCKING HATE THEM THEY ALL SUCK I HOPE THR FBI SHUTS THEM ALL DOWN I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I’VE BEEN SITTING IN BED SLEEPING JUST SO I DONT GET THR URGE TO CHECK THEM I HOPE THAT DONALD TRUMP NOTICES THEIR CULTISH PRAISE OF HIM AND BANS THEM OFF THE INTERNETSorry
I'm so stressed, it's too much, it's TOO MUCH I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE THERE'S TOO MUCH PEDO SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKF FUCKI need to stop can someone make me stop I need to block the site or something but I can't fuck I wish I was old enough to drink
>>34112105OP this does sound like a anxiety disorder. It could be OCD but it may just have some intersection with it, like intrusive thoughts. I do have myself and it's a struggle. Pic related seems a really solid book on the subject. Read it and get some CBT professional. Everything is gonna be all right
>>34123724Thank you, earnestly. And sorry for that meltdown, don't know what happened to me, haha. I'm calm now ig.
>>34112505>>34112105he's right dude, go to a psychiatrist will just do things better, come on, I believe in you (if makes you get any better I read your post with the voice of Charlie from Smiling Friends)
>>34125005>(if makes you get any better I read your post with the voice of Charlie from Smiling Friends)That’s actually hilarious
>>34112105You have to remember that most Kiwifarmers and Basedteens are even more neurotic losers than you. Just look into all the people who have been doxxed from both sides. The average Kiwifarmer is a 35 year old obese neckbeard basement dweller who is just as pathetic as the average lolcow, while the average Basedteen is a literal 13 year old brown Foodist 'p spammer from Turkey or Latin America.Ignore the opinions of users on either site since they are both mentally ill losers.
>>34127546I guess that’s a fair point. I probably am doing better than most of them. I live a nice upper middle class life, go to college, have hobbies, I sometimes even make money off of them. Back when I had KF people told me they enjoyed my insight so I may be smart too. And even if we want to go by THEIR standards I’m not trans nor look at porn, neither out of principle, just cause I don’t really wanna. Meanwhile they’re probably addicted to porn and that’s why they hate it so much and they’re probably struggling with gender dysphoria.Sorry that was kinda spiteful. Either way they’re probably underaged and I don’t want to take advice from someone significantly younger than me. I managed to scroll it less today.
>>34112105There is nothing of value on the internet anymore. Just touch grass
>>34112105Only a pedo would worry about being called a pedo this muchStop jacking off to little kids and get a grip you deranged faggot
>>34125005kek that really did work
>>34128791>Only a pedo would worry about being called a pedo this muchwhat
>>34128791>Stop jacking off to little kidsI don’t, I hate lolicon. I actually don’t look at porn period cause it reminds me of when I was molested
Guys I’m actually panicking what did he mean by this
Guys please
I don’t like kids I swear I stay away from them at all costs and I will always do that forever, I refuse to even have children.
Guys please help what did he mean
Guys
I HAVE to kill myself now right? I have to do the world this service? Right?
I had to do it tonigjt
>>34129160You're a fucking idiot. You're not doing the world a service, you're putting it through more trouble. Now what are people gonna do with your dead body? Think of all the fucking trouble, depression, and every possible burreucratic bullshit people have to deal with with your body. Suicide is not how it is in the movies where it goes to black. It may go to black for you, but everyone is going to be in the shittest possible mood when they have to deal with you being dead. Don't put people through it. You may think those few idiots are gonna be proud, but you're gonna make a shit ton of people pissed off if you do that, SO NO YOU'RE NOT FUCKING DOING THE WORLD A FAVOR!
>>34129227But if I’m a pedophile like anon said then wouldn’t it be good to kill myself
>>34129250Shut the fuck up! I don't care if you're some trailer park fuck up, your mother would be severely depressed if you killed yourself. You need to be loved anon. Anon, if the man to the right of Jesus who was being cruicified for crimes he committed can be forgiven, you can as well.Fucking hell our president could be ordering the same fucking cheese pizza like you.Listen you trailer park disgusting sock motherfucker, you need to live for your elderly mother to be proud she has a son like you. If you can't see that human element and instead keep fucking it up then unfortunately Frakenstein, you took your soul away faster than what the fucking cheese pizza could take away.
>>34129265>Fucking hell our president could be ordering the same fucking cheese pizza like you.I don’t look at child porn>sonI’m not a man>the fucking cheese pizza could take away.Why does everyone here think I watch child porn
I don’t look at cp or loli, they’re both disgusting to me and only disgusting pedophiles look at them
I want to emphasize this cause fucking hell
No no no no go up come on man this can’t end with people thinking I’m a pedo
PLEASE
>>34129928You're not a pedo bro it's alright you're a big boy with normal interests and a normal life
>>34129954Then why did that guy say I was a pedo??? He said I was a pedo cause only a pedo would be worried about being called a pedo! Thank you thoivj
>>34129965He was probably joking or maybe he has the extension that lets you see IPs and he saw that your IP posted on shota/loli threads but it was probably not you and just a dynamic IP used by someone else (I hope). You don't post on shota threads do you? That would be fucked up...
>>34129975No, I think loli and shota are just fictional cp. the only time I ever interact with lolisho’s is when I’m in a normal thread, someone randomly posts lolisho, and I reply saying “Dude you ruined the thread” and leave
>>34129987I'm starting to get suspicious here...
>>34129991Of what? I said the only time I’ve ever talked to a lolisho is to tell them to leave a thread cause they ruin everything they touch. I’m so confused right now what did I say. Like I said, I think lolisho is no different than beastiality porn in the sense that they’re the same thing as their real counterparts.
Please reply I’m so confused what did I do wrong
>>34130035There's no way you can't tell by yourself, stop acting like this
>>34130039What are you talking about??? I’m so fucking confused! Did you even read the thread??? Did you even read the fucking thread????? I’ve been panicking about this for months! Of course I can tell if I’m a pedophile or not by my standards but I’ve scoured the internet and everyone has different standards and what the fuck do I know!? I thought all that made you a pedophile was wanting to fuck kids or kid adjacent things (like lolis), but apparently according to Kiwifarms just watching cartoons can make you a pedophile. According to the sharty just being trans makes you a pedophile. Do you see?? Do you fucking see now??? We’re living in an age where it’s not that fucking simple. So step the fuck off my nuts and stop trying to act like a Sherlock who’s onto something when all that I’m doing is expressing dismay over the fact that something that was so simple that I knew when it was acted against me is now twisted to something where I have to walk on eggshells cause it’s now it’s as simple as liking vtubers
I only post in normal threads, I literally told you that the only time I’ve ever come across a lolisho is when I was in a NORMAL THREAD and they posted their disgusting pedo garbage thinking it was ok. I then reply saying “What the fuck!?” And leave the thread. Is that the problem? Insulting them? Does it make me a pedophile to insult a pedophile?
>>34130048I think you need to go to a psychiatrist man no one cares this much if you like kids as long as you don't act on it The internet is ruining your life
>>34130055I don’t fucking like kids you absolute mongoloid retardAnd pedos should still be splattered even if they “don’t act on it”, they always act on it
>>34130055What the actual fuck made you think I like kids? What, your hallucination that I’m a lolisho?
>>34130061Your behavior fully matches the description of covert pedophilia on the DSM V psychology manual, what I'm saying is that you're panicking for nothing and no one cares if you like kids unless you make a show of itI'm trying to help you so stop getting angry
>>34130071What behavior? What are you on about? What is covert pedophilia?
I searched up “covert pedophilia dsm 5” and nothing came up are you retarded.Also your pedo sympathizing attitude is sus.
All that came up was pedophillic disorder, which describes the main symptom being an attraction to kids. I am not attracted to kids.Also genuinely WHAT behavior, you were all peachy keen with me but the moment I said I don’t look at lolisho you went “GASP! PEDO!” Oh ya cause I’m a pedo cause I have child porn
*HATEWHAT THE FUCK ATUPCORRDCT
HATE HATE HATEI MEANT I HATE CHILC PORNFUCKING DUMB FAT FINGERS MIS TYPING EVERYBTJNGFUCK FUCK FUCKi don’t have child pornSIT HEREAND EXPLAIN TO MEhow hating loli and cp and pedophiles makes me a covert pedophile you projecting sack of shit
>>34130077https://www.psychiatry.org/File%20Library/Psychiatrists/Practice/DSM/APA_DSM-5-Paraphilic-Disorders.pdf>To be diagnosed with a para-philic disorder, DSM-5 requires that people with these interests feel personal distress about their interest, not merely distress resulting from society’s disapproval>>34130079So you confirm you are in possession of cpI recommend deleting your collection as it is harmful to your psyche
>>34130087>So you confirm you are in possession of cpI recommend deleting your collection as it is harmful to your psycheYou’re being a retard on purpose at this point, I told you it was a typo cause I’m on mobile. “V” is a few letters away from “T”>DSM-5 requires that people with these interests feel personal distress about their interest, not merely distress resulting from society’s disapprovalI don’t have an interest though. You’re diagnosing me based on the assumption that I like kids. Why do you assume I like kids?
You left out the second part of that article,to have a sexual interest that rhrives off of the other person’s suffering. I don’t have that. Again, what made you think I’m atttacted to children?
>>34130096T is very far away from V. It is evident that you confessed about your collection but then changed your mind. There's no need to lie to me anon I'm helping you out.I assume you like kids due to your obsession of not being seen as liking kids. If you want to keep getting angry then I'll leave otherwise I'll try to help you with your issue as best as I can.
>>34130110>T is very far away from V. It is evident that you confessed about your collection but then changed your mind. There's no need to lie to me anon I'm helping you out.On a keyboard, sure, but like I said I’m on mobile. It’s not a big leap on the size of mh phone screen.be honest with yourself, why would I ever say the absolute braindead sentence of “You think im a pedophile because I have cp”? Of course you’d think I’m a pedophile>I assume you like kids due to your obsession of not being seen as liking kids.Please read the thread before you try to help. I already explained that the reason why I care about being seen as liking kids is because I believe it’s society that decides who’s a pedophile and who isn’t, not yourself. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re not a pedophile when everyone else does, if everyone else thinks you’re a pedophile then you just are one, I don’t care about how innocent you are. Pedophilia is something decided by majority rule. Why wouldn’t you be scared of being one if it’s decided just by how many people feel you’re one? Furthermore, I’m suspicious of you. You act very chill for someone who believes he’s talking to a pedophile. If I believed I was talking to a pedo, I wouldn’t talk to them. You desperately trying to say I’m a pedo whilst also saying “it’s ok” makes me think something about you honestly.
>>34130110Why are you trying to help this pedo lol
>>34130135I'm a psychologist, I help people regardless. Pedophilia isn't decided by the majority rule but by a psychiatric diagnose. >>34130142Don't say that
>>34130142What makes you think I’m a pedo
>>34130147>I'm a psychologist, I help people regardless. Pedophilia isn't decided by the majority rule but by a psychiatric diagnose.It’s not decided by majority rule but I’m a pedophile cause you decided based off of fucking 4chan posts?
Wait a second I’m a retard.You’re trolling me>>34130142>>34130147This right here is samefagging.Someone on KF did say I should be careful who I ask for advice from since there’s some people who will try to exasperate my illness for laughs. This is one of those moments. I will no longer engage with you.
>>34130110Ok I admit I meant to say have and I do have many images saved but it's only for archival/analysis and I'm NOT a fucking pedo so stop saying that
Ya you’re trolling me lol
>>34130174Same anon, 34130171 isn’t me, guys. I feel silly for getting all worked up over what is an obvious troll now. I should be better than that, at least smarter and less reactive. Probably just some lolisho trying to justify their attractions, I have seen lolishos be more eager to call people pedos
>>34130170>>34130181See? This was all a test, and you passed it. The result is realizing that nothing on the internet is real and you're letting kf/sharty/4chan trolls get to you because you're a retard. So stop being retarded, get a grip, and stop obsessing over internet content that is made up for laughs by some troll.
>>34130191WHATOk I have to admit that’s somewhat genius and I guess I do have to thank you but fuckin hell, dude, nearly gave me a heart attack. But I guess that was the point, it was like forced exposure therapy. Where did the test even start? Which anons were you?
>>34130203If I told you it would ruin the fun wouldn't it
>>34130206And it would ruin the rest since I’d have reassurance of what was fake and what wasnt. I think it’s more effective if I just decide for myself to deem it all as horseshit since it’s on 4chan
>>34130211*test
Billions of years of evolution and we end up like this. Fuck.
>>34130235Something something industrial society
>>34130235I’ll be honest it is embarrassing how long it took me to realize that was fake ya
>>34130259Now imagine how much fake shit you believe without realizing, how many trolls get a laugh out of you, how many baits you fell for.
>>34130269Holy shit you’re rightHalf of the shit I’ve picked up from these sites, all the hobbies I’ve dropped, all the behaviors I’ve learned, all in an effort to avoid being some loose idea of a pedophileIt all could’ve just been fake.I saw a guy on KF say that if you like MLP, you’re a pedo. I loved that show as a little girl, and I’ve been avoiding it since. And he was probably joking I saw someone on KF say that if you play Roblox as an adult, you’re a pedophile. I usually played private servers with my irl friends, but either way I deleted the game. That was probably to fucking nothing.I saw someone on the Sharty say that if you’re a furry you’re a zoophile, I’m not a furry and I never really was, but I didn’t mind making sex jokes about furries. I stopped cause I felt like those were zoophile jokes. I probably dropped an entire facet of humor for actual NOTHING
>>34130788I feel like I could scam you out of your life savings by just joking around. Why are you so cute and retarded?
>>34112105>>34112114You are the type of person who would join a cult. You'll move on next year. Or maybe the one afterwards. It doesn't matter if it's alt right. You're the same as a left leaning person, in that, while the left winger is psychologically impaired in that they switch from one leader to the next, you do the same.You like joining cults, seeking the truth. What's my advice to you, is that you should find one that's in development or led by a good man, start writing. That's how you'll develop yourself. Or become a therapist, all of them are like that.But, the truth in the end is that you are performative. You do not want the truth, you don't care about it or like it. You are doing it all for the sake of community. Good luck, whoever you are. I recommend reading Stirner, but he'd probably fly past you.
>>34130823Aw thanks for calling me cute! You probably could desu>>34130878I have gotten close, I used to be in Christian discord servers at 16 and some members would DM me some weird stuff that I took at face value. Something like women being inherently inferior to men and being servants to men.>But, the truth in the end is that you are performative. You do not want the truth, you don't care about it or like it. You are doing it all for the sake of community.Honestly, ya. Even as I scroll these communities I think “This is retarded, everyone here is wrong” but I just want to feel included. I want to feel loved. I didn’t have friends growing up and I still sorta don’t, not many irl at least. And when it comes to online friends it’s so easy to exploit me, I still remember sending some guy on Discord my sh scars cause he said they made me beautiful.When it comes to the sharty, sometimes I have fears (well not sometimes, all the time) of them doxxing me. I try to practice good opsec and stuff but I the idea of them doxxing me scares me, not because it’d ruin my life, but because that would mean they don’t like me. And if they don’t like me, what else do I have in my life? Who DOES like me?
>>34130925You are the proof that women shouldn't be on the internetImagine how happy and carefree you would be if you were just married off to a nice man, cooking and cleaning all day surrounded by your happy children and then at night getting plapped with love and filled with even more children. Instead you're posting about pedos on the fucking SHARTY of all places. Imagine how your great grandmother would feel about this.
>>34131000Ew haha no thanks. Sex disgusts me.
>>34131047I weep thinking about how lonely your pristine little pussy must feel. A cold abandoned pussy that yearns to be pumped full of virile semen, and stretched by the miracle of childbirth... and yet it feels nothing but a cold hard finger on the best of days. Sad.
>>34131073I also don’t masturbate, I just don’t really need it. I just don’t really care for sexual stuff period.
look OP people here are absolutely mogging you through these useless coments trying to raise false suspicions.now when are you going to leave this website and look for professional help with a psychiatrist and a CBT based therapy? can you afford it? I already gave you a good book recomendation>>34123724
>>34131000Wait they are a woman?>>34131047>>34131099Please confirm
>>34132935Yes
>>34133932No wonder, women are all retarded
>>34133932>>34133984On the off chance that you are an actual womanMy advice:>the forum tends to call random things pedophilia and zoophilia, and it's been gasoline on all my hobbies. I've dropped so much shit fearing it's pedo-adjacent or zoo-adjacent. And I've genuinely stayed up entire nights just worrying "What if I accidentally do something pedophilic?"It doesn't matter. A lot of the forum's users get exposed to be weirdos anyway. I like the forum, but some users(eg: Lunar eclipse paradox) have their own halal threads over there.>I'm genuinely scared of children now and avoid them like the plague cause I'm so scared, what if this is pedophilic and I don't even know it? What if this is? What if being worried about not being a pedophile is pedophilic because you're thinking about pedophilesIt doesn't matter. There are NEETs on this site who don't get social interaction and they'll probably never go through any of this. Do you live in north america? I live in Singapore. There's no one who really cares. If someone actually cared, they'd just gossip to their friends. Ignore it, and move on.>(blank) made me a pedo and Null got sick of my shit I guessKek beauty parlor?>My sleep has been genuinely awful these past few days, staying up until 4 AM scrolling /raid/ making sure that no one's getting raided for anything I've ever done. Cause if they have, that would make ME a pedo, right?Oh my god no one cares about this. Again, unless you're an internet personality, or unless you develop something, no one cares.>>34112114>I've given up on the prospect of dating, I just genuinely could never feel lovable after all of what I've seen. Gore of children of my race being celebrated. Fucking hell, I've seen so many dead kids.Are you making shit up because this doesn't happen on that website. You're just retarded. Anon, take a step back, and go offline. You're letting things get ahead of you. This doesn't matter. Do you have a job? Are you a NEET. Go outside. Please.
>>34134034>Are you making shit up because this doesn't happen on that website.I was talking about the Sharty there, not KF. Have you ever been on the site?
>>34134034Furthermore, the first paragraph you responded to was talking about KF AND the Sharty. If you go on the basedjak wiki, you’ll see a lot of doxxes for people labeled as “literal who’s”. That means someone doxxed who had no large online presence, AKA, someone like you and me who they doxxed just cause they don’t like them
>>34134338>Furthermore, the first paragraph you responded to was talking about KF AND the Sharty. If you go on the basedjak wiki, you’ll see a lot of doxxes for people labeled as “literal who’s”. That means someone doxxed who had no large online presence, AKA, someone like you and me who they doxxed just cause they don’t like themWhy do you care about it, really? Most of the time, again, unless you're in north america, it doesn't matter. It's the lottery, are you a NEET? Going to uni? You're taxing your brain since you're just bad at statistics.>>34134333Not much, I just know a lot of black zoomers use it. But why do you need to use it?
>>34134354>Why do you care about it, really? Most of the time, again, unless you're in north america, it doesn't matter. It's the lottery, are you a NEET? Going to uni? You're taxing your brain since you're just bad at statistics.I am in North AmericaI do go to college and I’m in the market for a job >Not much, I just know a lot of black zoomers use it. But why do you need to use it?Originally I started scrolling it just to keep myself safe, can’t get doxxed if I know all of the doxxer’s tactics. But when my obsession with KF started, it also turned into an obsession with the Sharty. And when I was banned from KF, that obsession got worse. The thing is the Sharty is different than KF, KF sticks to pointing and laughing. The Sharty wants to ruin lives unironically. I have read doxxing threads where they say “Let’s ruin this guy’s life, let’s make him homeless, let’s make him lose his job” and their reasoning is a lot stricter than KF. If you search up “is it ok to fap to Hatsune Miku” on KF, you’ll find a thread legit asking that and everyone responding with “Well she looks like an adult and she isn’t real so ya it’s fine”. On the Basedjak wiki you can see some people labeled as doxxed pedophiles, and why did they dox them? They drew Miku porn and they consider her a minor. Stricter standards. They’ve called posting trans memes on YouTube “EPI” and doxxed a guy for it and were aiming to get him homeless. I mean I’m not into Miku nor do I post trans stuff on YouTube, but it’s just scary knowing that there’s so many rules to follow that unlike with KF (Where the consequences were just mocking), the consequences could be my life getting ruined. It’s like an earlier Anon said, I’ve read so many witch hunts trying to ruin lives it’s insane.
>>34130925You are a good person, maybe good at art, maybe creative, but you're going through a lot of struggles and obstacles in life right now. You want somewhere to belong, and somewhere to keep you safe. The world is not good right now, we're at the point of a global recession almost as bad as the great depression soon.We're connected and more disconnected than ever. What I recommend you to do is to think in dialectics, thesis, antithesis, synthesis. It is the most correct system out there, people have tried disproving it and they've all been consistently wrong.What I'll tell you to do, is to take out a notepad, and make a routine, a schedule of activities to be done. Then use the dialectical method to see what is right, and what is wrong. Dialectics will not fail because it cannot fail. You have agency over your own decisions. Write down your moods, and the times at which you've felt sad or thought about what troubles you. You are in a state of cognitive dissonance.There are a lot of people who like you, you've just restricted your world, closed it off. But there is not much wrong with that. The fact is, you are able to be in communities. Think of the caterpillar, there are many caterpillars in this world. You have been a butterfly many times, but you are also a cocoon, many times, vulnerable. You are someone who an author wishes they could write about. Read Stirner, because he will help you. Good luck.
>>34134403You have BPD
>>34134443Thank you for this advice, this is really insightful >>34134469Eh?
>>34134536>Eh?You are a BPDemon and a whore
>>34112105you have POCD and you're also retarded/thread
Lingering butter taste, right?
>>34134709How could you tell?
>>34135325The POCD lol. You really need to see an OCD specialist or at least talk to someone with OCD who's learned to manage it (like me). Feel free to email me: 0blunts0sluts@proton.me i'd be more than happy to share how i got rid of an obsession fairly similar to POCD
>>34134709What does this mean?
>>34138633It's his username on Kiwi Farms
>>34112105The lady doth protest too much
>>34139760Wdym?
Actually nvm. Probably another troll.
I can’t stop checking this stupid fucking sharty site
>>34112105You just have OCD. I have OCD as well. Like in terms of the zoo stuff for example; I get intrusive thoughts all the time. It’s not fun. Basically I spent most of my teen years questioning constantly if I was gay despite watching straight porn everyday after school. OCD has this thing (or at least the type I have) where it makes you question if you’re gay, a pedo, into zoo, etc. And so as a result you think about it over and over and over to try and make sense of it and rationalize it. But in reality, there IS no rationalization to it. And you get yourself bogged down in a cycle of perpetually thinking and questioning yourself. Best thing is to try to not give your thoughts power.
>>34112105To add to this- >>34141971Look it up.
>>34141971Ya at this point I should just see a psychiatrist, huh? I’ve been avoiding it but I really just should. There’s so many things I want to do that I’ve been putting off cause of this obsession and I’ve just been wasting away. I miss when I was 17. KF and ‘teens would call those years degenerate but they were so much more fun I was so happy. Fuck I miss it. I want that again.
>>34142134>There’s so many things I want to do that I’ve been putting off cause of this obsession and I’ve just been wasting away. I miss when I was 17. KF and ‘teens would call those years degenerate but they were so much more fun I was so happy.I feel exactly the same way as you. I probably need to get help but I’m too anxious to leave my house basically. Also being a kid was the best.
>>34112105Also, try Jesus again, friend. Love you buddy. <3
>>34123724CBT... Cock and Ball Tortureovercoming intrusive thoughtsCBT-based guide.
>>34112105Both sites are literally just retarded 14 year olds gigafrying their brains on weird esoteric bullshit. They say everything is pedo because they do nothing with their lives except crusade against random people online. They need to keep calling everything pedo to make themselves feel better about having zero personality or culture.All they do is just spam 4chan and search their names on Google to find more threads to spam. The entire site is just devoted to screeching about other people living their lives. They've doomed themselves into an eternity of never achieving anything. They are the retarded kid at the back of the bus who just showed everyone liveleak videos all day. Do you want your life to be judged by these people? Are they in a position to call you a degenerate? Do you think their hobby is a healthy and normal way to live a life? Are you worried that some kid sat at the back of his bio class spamming shitty twitter memes is going to judge you?Go into your router right now and just block both websites. Don't even give yourself the chance to look at them. The second you turn the site off they can do nothing to you. If you have the site you'll be tempted. You need to straight up make it impossible to look at it. Quit it cold turkey.And go pick your hobbies up again.
>>34145348Like, seriously. A pedo is someone who fucks kids. Do you fuck kids? If you don't you aren't a pedo. Mountain biking or gaming or watching anime isn't going to make you a pedo.
>>34134338Okay but realistically who cares? Getting doxxed sucks but they can't do shit. You think some incel is going to show up to your front door and try to fight you or something?
>>34112105Block the website. I've not been obsessed on this level, but I've had some addiction to video games before to the point where I was skipping work because I was playing too late at night. The only thing that made it better was stopping entirely because if I allowed a little, it would turn into a lot again. As for the pedo thing, I understand your concerns because hanging out on /b/ too much made me aware of what pedos are like, and now I notice situations that could turn bad for a kid. I just give myself a rule to simply not interact with kids. You're only a pedo if you want to fuck kids. Pedo-adjacent is a bunch of bullshit. It's been thrown around that if you're of either political party, that you're a pedo. It needs to stop before the word loses meaning, like how everyone is getting called a Nazi these days. If everyone is a Nazi, nobody is. It needs to stop.You're off the deep end about a lot of shit that doesn't matter. Once you're away from these websites you'll realize that all this crap has nothing to do with your life. So block them on your router. Actually consider a complete technology detox. No internet at all for at least a weekend. It's so peaceful.
>>34145348>Both sites are literally just retarded 14 year olds gigafrying their brains on weird esoteric bullshitsharty yes, KF noKiwi Farms is mostly millennials (all of which came from Something Awful) and some older zoomers. that doesn't make them any less retarded though
>>34145354>watching anime isn't going to make you a pedoThat's debatable. Certain anime is like a gateway drug. If the only anime you watch are the anime about little girls, you might have a problem. I used to be extremely bothered any time I would see loli images, but after hanging around /b/ too much, even though I don't look for it, I'm not bothered by it as much now. The step after getting desensitized to something is getting conditioned to liking it. I used to hate rap for example. I hung out with a friend who listened to it a lot. In his car I felt like I had no say what we listen to. Eventually the songs stopped bothering me, and now I even like some of the songs I used to hate just because they are familiar now. Repetition is a hell of drug.
>>34145440KF users are the end stage of sharty users. They all grew up but had nothing to show for it because they spent their formative years doing nothing but spamming random boards with shitty extremist brainrot. So all they can do is keep spamming random boards until they either die or have a midlife crisis. It's hard to break that cycle because they have no social skills or personality beyond "try and piss the other person off," which is only tolerated when you're in middle school.
>>34145445I mean maybe, if you watch shit like "is it wrong to have sex with underage girls in a dungeon???" Watching decent anime is just a gateway to good storytelling.Like I get you can be conditioned to become used to something but I don't think that applies to actual pedophilia. There's a drive in most people's brains that says "don't fuck kids." Any conditioning will hit a barrier and then stop.Plus if you're as terrified of being a pedo as OP then nothing could ever condition you.
