So I got fired from my job today cause I got caught jacking off in the break room.How can I get my job back?
>>34120362Intentionally get caught again moaning your boss's name
hell yeah
>>34120362>jacking off in the break room.Are you a fucking moron?
Real talk, hire a lawyer. Jacking off is your religion. You are being persecuted for your beliefs.
>>34120362in the break room??? oh well nah they better send your ass to wherever they sent Diddy.
>>34120362Get diagnosed with sex addiction, and say you're a victim of hate crime.
>>34120461>>34120500>>34120794
>>34120362
>>34120362break dance in the jack off room
>>34120362Another goonicide...
Blame it on the jews or something
>>34121631LOL I read that in his voice
>>34121631LOL That man is the total embodiment of all of America.
>>34121977Old America for sure
>>34121984Nah, New America for sure.
>>34121992New America is butt sex and nigger worship. Old America and butt kicking and nigger slavery.
>>34120362In all seriousness, you're retarded and should not be rehired or trusted at your next job if you need this one as a reference. These are the consequences for risking exhibitionism.
>>34121998Well, as a nigger, I don't appreciate nigger worship, nor the butt sex, nor the nigger slavery. But I do appreciate the butt kicking though.
>>34122006I really need my fucking job back dude.
>>34122012Should have thought about that before jerking off in a room that other people do have access to be in. You obviously liked that job less than jerking off.
>>34122018I don't think, goddamit! It makes my dick itch, and then I need to jerk off.
>>34122023This is called "a learning experience"When you get a new job and your lil weewee starts to tingle what should you do? Have a nice life!
>>34122028I jerk off goddamit what else am I supposed to do? work? lmao yeah right
>>34122023If you don't think about how your actions impact others, you will wind up in jail with other men itching for your butthole.
>>34122035Other men don't want my butthole. Trust me they do not know where it's been.
If you jack off again outside the building they might take you back
>>34122091Okay good. I think I might try that. Cause they seemed to enjoy looking at me while they were escorting me out the building.
>>34120362You are supposed to jack off in the toilet stall like a normal person.
>>34122252No
>>34120362Greentext the story please
>>34123501lol can't you use your imagination? muhfukka took his dick out in the fucking breakroom man you can't get anymore depraved than that
>>34120362We're heading into a recession and you're doing dumbass shit like this?
>>34123854It's the perfect time to do shit like this
>>34120362You're supposed to jack off in the bathroom. I actually used to do this a lot.
>>34123925No
>>34122265>>34125796At least one person at your workplace jacks off in the bathroom per day.
>>34122085In your pants this entire time!
Still trying to understand how someone could be so maladjusted they instantly have to jacking off when then get a slight tingle in the groin.
>>34120362you kinda deserved it
>>34120362Jerk off on your boss
>>34122085And that's the fun part
>>34120362I remember a thread like this. Is this a repost, or is this the aftermath? Not sure how/if it concluded the first time.
>>34127435Pretty sure it's just a new thread.
>>34127435Nope, I have no idea what you're talking about. This is the first and only time I have been fired for being a degenerate, so you must have me confused for some other degenerate. I think jacking off in break rooms is a common occurrence. Lots of people to it. I'm certainly not the first 4channer to have ever thought of this. Surely.>>34127234Thank you! Now help me get my job back.>>34126817I don't give a shit. It's so much more fun to do it in public.
>>34127354Uhuh>>34127247No, that's going too far. I have limits.
>>34127517It's fun, but like be somewhat normal about it, you know? Don't just pull out your dick in the middle of shared space and expect to not be spotted or fired.
>>34127517I see. Guess it was someone else, then.> I'm certainly not the first 4channer to have ever thought of this. Surely.Yeah, I thought it was a bit strange that it happened again (to someone else) not so long after the other time, but I must've forgotten where we are.
Short answer: you don’t. Long answer: you really don’t.You got canned because you crossed one of the few lines every single workplace on Earth agrees on: don’t whip it out at work. Break room, bathroom, supply closet, doesn’t matter. That’s instant-termination territory, no appeals, no “but I was stressed,” no HR sympathy lap. From the company’s POV you’re a walking lawsuit with pants around your ankles. There is no magic combo of apology + excuse + LinkedIn post that unfucks this. If HR already fired you, the decision’s done, documented, and lawyer-proofed. Trying to “get your job back” will at best get ignored and at worst get you formally trespassed.Own it, move on, and keep your hands to yourself until you’re home like a normal functioning adult.
>>34120362Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell ya, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.
>>34127740>PicrelStop laughing at me!>and keep your hands to yourself until you’re home like a normal functioning adult.No
>>34127576>but I must've forgotten where we are.Damn straight you forgot, nigga. I ain't playing no games here. Naw. I'm just another faggot that took his dick out in a public space. I'm not special.But damn. This shit, man. Now I'm gonna be homeless and shit.
>>34120362Male stripper, GigoloSemen donorHired distractionBoogeyman (scaring kids to keep healthy distance from strangers)Social experimenter/"artist"Zoo keeper (showing dominance)CryptidWaiter at a very very poor / very very expansive barThese are your competitive public masturbation options, if you've got what it takes.
>>34120362How does this happen?Don’t you have a bathroom you can run to take an abnormally long shit?
>>34132831No
>>34133663So what, people just shit in their desk drawers and piss in the sink where you work? Sorry, used to work.
>>34134345No, I mean I refuse to masturbate like a normie. This is more exciting.
Fine I'll just apply to another job
>>34137105Yeah, but you will get fired from it too if you masturbate where other people can see you.
>>34137139Yeah, OP has to hide WAY better.
>>34120362story timecome on OP, give us more
>>34137139>>34137202Well then perhaps this new job will have interesting rooms to jack off in.>>34137218I also jack off naked at night around my neighborhood. The police almost caught me a few times.
>>34137600>I also jack off naked at night around my neighborhood.So you have a mental health problem.
>>34137617Look, don't knock it till you've tried it. Once you experience the thrill of jacking off in public, doing it in your bedroom just pales in comparison.
>>34122012>fucking jobso it was a fucking job... i see
>>34130336>homelesshomeless is not dead, yet.you can still have a tent and share the internet of the next mall on your phone.depending on your IQ you can really have a good life on the streets. and lots of fun!
>>34137600I hope they catch you and lock you up forever. You and the homies will jack eaxh other off in the showers whenever you want in prison.
>>34132826OP wants to be semen donor.but this will require good quality semen>>34134392aha... you are having an exciting homelessness due to kink.>>34137617>mental health problemhe would not call it like that.he is expanding his kink on us by oversharing his exhibitionism with us. concealing it as question for advice. but advice that can never be given.and now he has had enough and says "i just do it at my next job, again".
>>34120362tl; dr:OP is a retard and wants all to listen to his kink.
>>34137866Yeah, a fucking job. A damn good one at that.>>34137888They still have malls? Dafuq?>>34137897They ain't gonna catch me. I'm too smart.>>34137905Oh you think you've figured me out huh. Well you're wrong.>>34137911Just want my fucking job back.
>>34138044I'll report you. You're not anonymous here.
>>34138068That's weird cause it says my name is Anonymous
>>34138104So?
>>34137218You think can goad OP with that lustful image of yours?
>>34137600I like you, you have a soul.
>>34138376That's the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.
