I'm tired of drinking, last night it was 7 pbrs. I know its beer water but im tired of it. I want to get back in better health and its a hurdle I have to get over. I even got sober and loved it, yeah rehab sucked. But it was so, so worth it. I looked better, felt better, no brain fog, no nothing. Its almost a week in a and I promised id slow down or quit. My main reasons, just being fucking bored. But its on money thayt not mine.

>>34129771
I almost feel like being open about it, may seem like bragging. Im not bragging, I legitimately want to stop

posting this live from inside the psychiatrists office whilst he is trying to contact my GP on the phone

>>34129771
https://youtu.be/ouVedNg-6WQ?si=ZkTr3aDk5WTeljuE

>>34129777
Based

Bureaucracy is hard. I can't wait til robot Jesus saves us all.

Lost my job yesterday. I'm pretty bummed about it. I don't have any idea about what to do now. I kinda hated that job and wanted to leave, but I have absolutely no idea about where to go next. And it's not like they set me up for success either. So here I am back at what is essentially square one at 29 years old, with rent and a move that need done by the end of the month.

>>34129771
Of you're tired of it, you can stop.

>>34129842
Amazon driver, $21.50/hr, ziprecruiter. 2 day test, paid for. Hours are long sometimes, not great, but pays.

Hitagi. Know that when I said I was cutting off irl people that annoy me, I didn't mean you.
I'm not annoyed by you at all. I love you, why would I be annoyed by you?

Wherever you are out there I hope so much that you’re healthy and happy. I wish we could talk still. I really miss your brilliant mind heart and soul.

>>34129842
You could babysit dogs/animals, houses.
Ask friends or family for references

I just got "brother"zoned. I asked this girl out and she said I'm more of a brother to her. What's up with that.
>inb4 u asked your sister
No.

https://youtu.be/BrO56gKHnuQ?si=1joGwNlOi-C292lT>>34130381

https://youtu.be/5EYYJbMJrFU?si=mipuRAkJTbhKh_sh

First week of quitting porn.
It's slowly starting to get easier, though I'm still horny as fuck at times

I am sorry that I turn every single discussion into a debate. I am just perpetually bored with life and find the discussion of ideas interesting and mentally stimulating. I know I come off as an argumentative contrarian who kills the mood.

I love you

>>34130531
I love u!

>>34130720
I love you too Hitagi
DM me when you feel like it. Let me treat you how you deserve, how I should have had done years ago.

I think my two friends have started crushing on each other, lately when we hang out they walk together almost full time while I'm in the back, anything I say has less reach, they're watching multiple movies back to back on discord an shit now where if I join I immediately have this third wheel feeling. The fuck man

I'm stuck. I have a dead end fast food job. I started as a closer, and I've been a closer for two and a half years. I said hey, get me on openings and train me. They started. It was great. Opening was so good for my mental and physical health compared to closing.
I take a vacation for the holidays.
"Hey can you close this day?"
"sure want me to close these two days a week and open these two days a week?"
"we don't need an opener so you'll close these four days a week"
Fucking sure. Fine. Back to this. Back to this shit that was ruining me.
Mind you this place is open until 3am. I work, I get home, straight to sleep, wake up at fucking 1pm, and just dread the day until I start my shift at 7pm, repeat.
And no one else is hiring. Nowhere else will even train people. "Everywhere is hiring during the holidays" my ass. My applications went unopened - I submitted them all in November. I called stores. I got ONE interview and I rejected the job when the gm told me they only pay exact minimum wage. I am not taking that big a pay drop on a job switch. I'll take a pay drop but not multiple full dollars lower. Can't believe fast food pays better than a grocery store. Can't believe I've gotten myself in this endless loop of working the worst jobs possible, the most thankless jobs, the most mentally draining jobs, and still not being able to afford a fucking studio.
My mental health is going to plummet. I don't think I'm going to be around the 2026 holidays.
Do not work at Taco Bell.

>>34131200
end it now. fuck off for life

finally pulled the plug
left a discord i joined last year from a community where i was in for years (in a game but not the discord)
i felt like i could actually make friends there but all this time i've just been like an outsider looking in
lots of people in there were normish types and so learning about their lives and relationships while you're some broken alien just made me sick in the long run
worst was feeling like some people were actually interested based on horribly unreliable signs that i couldn't shake, horrible delusions most likely
i clung to it for so long because leaving that place meant going back to having only anons as my source of social contact, and i clung to the idea of finally finding someone to talk to 1-1, that one fucking person. it was limerence for someone i know next to nothing about, and the things i do know suggested that there wasn't even a shot to begin with.
i've made many such posts about it over the months because it has consumed me and this will be the last one.
nobody will even notice that i'm gone and if they do they won't do anything about it, i've seen it happen multiple times. that place was just an illusion of friends or belonging.
now i will walk to the horizon and try to find my peace somewhere, and i will learn to enjoy the walk even if it brings me nowhere.

Something interesting about romantic pain is that while it's devastating for the person effected, it's almost impossible for anyone else to care. When my friends go on about their breakups, I'll lend a shoulder to cry on, but it's mostly performative - even though I know that pain all too well. And when the roles are reverse, it's the same situation.

What's the deal?

I wish I had pictures to put through the so called grok spank bank but no I never got to talk to any girls.....

>>34130797
Not that person just felt like giving some love

I am 24 years old and still virgin, also havent kissed or hugged a girl or even hold hands with one

>>34131387
Oh. My bad I thought you were here. I appreciate it regardless.

Good night

>>34131426
*You were her
Goodnight again.

Karma is real
I don't try to be messy because I see it smacking so many people in the face

>>34131262
You shouldn't have such a nihilistic mindset. Everyday is new, the sun shines bright and the world needs to feel your vibrations.

I'm in a small community that gets together weekly online. From there I met her, I initially just thought of her as someone interesting, someone who I shared a lot of interests with.

Months later, it has become more of a daily hangout than a weekly thing and through sheer coincidence, we got closer, not enough for me to think about it romantically but definitely we got closer.

But ever since THAT happened, I just can't get her out of my head. I remember everything that she told me, I said I would help her cope with it but the fact that it feels like she's pushing me away whenever I try to just hurts. I want to forget but that would mean leaving her alone. I said I wouldn't make it weird but for the first time in nearly a decade, she's the only person to ever get me like this.

On the non-zero chance you'd see this, I wish I had met you earlier like you said, I wish I could just grab you by your hand and get you out of there, I wish this world wasn't as fucked up to put two broken souls so far apart from each other. I love you and I would gladly tell you everything again if only you'd ask.

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>>34131492
Nihilism and depression are not the same

I'm gonna fuck some black chick again to get my mind off of M.

Especially during Valentine's Day. Maybe she'll at least enjoy pretending to like me.

And ya know at least she won't be ashamed to like me and probably will get the joy of a BWC that not that many women get.

A trick a manipulative person will do after disrespecting you is to try to reel you back in by copying the same energy they presented initially.
It's a test to see if you will let your guard down again and trust them fully.
It's very important you keep the vibe pleasant but not to fully believe them again.

>>34131562
>It's very important you keep the vibe pleasant
No it's not. Make the vibe unpleasant.

>>34131529
I think nihilism can mean two different things - there's the philosophy pioneered by Nietzsche that almost no one reads anymore; and there's the colloquial meaning, which is shorthand for 'a bleak outlook on life'. Most people are referring to the latter.

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I love one specific very tall Red Haired woman who has prominent front teeth, delicious body freckles, and prominent clavicle.

No other woman compares.

>>34131603
You don't have to be hostile.
Just throw up a boundary.

>>34131639
So figure out a way to fuck her, romeo.

She refuses to spend time with me in person and always delays it as much as possible. Today was my final straw. No I do not want to text you 247 but have you be evasive when it comes to actually DOING the activities we plan when we text. Im standing up for myself and taking space away from them tonight when I ask them to come visit later and they say no again. And if they get mad tough. I am not a penpal used for YOUR comfort

>>34131655
Oof. I've been there, brother.

What you have to realize is that she will let you give her endless attention. If you give her an ultimatum, you have to stand by it. Otherwise, if you backslide, she'll know you're weak and make you her simp for life.

I think your plan backfired and you can't do anything about it so you're back to sucking up

>>34131655
Which is why my tier list exists. Probably was just a buddy or good acquietence. Gotta look past it. I just hope my ebony experience this Valentine's Day go well. M cucking me with black guys, YEAH HOW ABOUT I DO IT TO YOU WITH BLACK GIRLS!

>>34131737
namefags responding is like walking down the street in conversation with a friend and some homeless guy starts screaming at you

>>34131640
A hostile one is the best

Receiving obvious sexual interest from a chubby shortstack while in a relationship with a wonderful woman I feel virtually zero sexual attraction towards is a special kind of hell. I feel sick.

>>34131705
I have been there too often. The issue is that Ive known them for a while now and for certain social reasons I can't just press them on the behaviour. But this was the last chance for me putting myself in these kinds of situations.

The last one was gaslighting me and our friend group about not living at home with her 'abusive ex' meanwhile sending photos that were obviously from her apartment, and one where Im pretty sure it had his hickeys on her chest. Telling her to stop talking to me triggered one hell of a rage that is still going. 6 months down the drain after 2 years friends because these shitty women want to play games

Now this new one same shit. It's all lovey dovey over text but hesitation and second guessing actually committing to something. But zero self control to not get sexual or talk about the future with me over text. I'm fucking ready, my career is social skills related, so Im direct, and then I get these people with no control and no willingness to commit and suck at screening them. This is just practice for me on setting different kinds of boundaries, and right now she gets to sit in silence because I am respecting and loving myself by not being played anymore for tonight

>>34131756 #
Given this is an imageboard there is an image to the left of this post. It exists like the amount of fucks I give about what you said.

>>34131854
For context, mine was a friend and coworker who I'd known for 10 years. So trust me when I say I get it. The awkward social dynamics, all of it.

It sounds like you're hoping that by establishing a boundary you'll upset her. You won't. You care far more about her than she does about you. Once you realize that, you'll dig your way back into communication with her. Because you want to make her see. You want to hurt her like she hurt you. But you can't hurt someone who doesn't care.

While you're torturing yourself with all this strategizing about boundaries and how angry you are, she's just living her life. She's not thinking about you at all.

>>34131880
You are dead on with the last one. That is exactly what the dynamic was. Even to the point that actually getting her to stop being emotionally abusive and have a conversation would be standard DARVO and then she would just shut down and be silent. So I know what that was like, and yes it was about hurt and pain

This is very different. We are moving too fast and I know it. She knows it but has some very specific reasons we have talked about why adjusting to this new stage is challenging . And she is actively getting mental health support for it. So it really was a get it off my chest because it isnt weighing on me. I'm okay to be patient through the process I just wish that there was more consideration for my feelings. And taking a break for now and then coming back to a conversation we are planning to have next weekend about being on the same page is the right time, not pressing her tonight. Her comfort is her alternate plans.

It is more sad for me than anything because it isn't a morally bankrupt piece of shit like the last one, this is just a hurt person navigating being unwell. Which hurts but also why I have to be okay to sit apart for some time to show that if she chooses to not spend time she chooses not to spend time. And it is my job to actually have boundaries too and not just fold to role model relationships that are healthy while she navigates too

I flubbed it

>>34131910
It flubbed you

>>34131918
It didn't floob. It was what it was.

I honestly think school shootings are funny because the shooters are always autistic retards and the victims screams make me feel better about my boring drab life. I pray for quality footage every time a shooting happens.

I can't sleep. Annoying.

>>34132169
Put on an audiobook like The Invisible Man by HG Wells or whale noises.

Audiobook is good as long as it is something where the volume level is consistent and doesnt randomly spike

I've start conditioning myself by playing a specific playlist of snes music every time i nap. I only listen to it at nap time, and I only play it when I sleep at night. Training my body that hearing those sounds means go sleep, and it does make a meaningful difference when used in addition to other sleep supports. I just like it because it is super easy and the music is nostalgic and positive for my mood

>>34132191
The audiobook sounds like a good idea. Just not the one you recommended.

>>34132209
That's also a good idea.
You remind me of an irl friend I'm on bad terms with. Two of them actually. It's about time to change that.

I detest the invisible man. Watching the modern US movie once was enough. More than enough.

>>34132209
Yeah, conditioning too.

>>34132231
Happy to have helped. If I had more time I would personally curate a list of songs that I know make me feel the way I want to feel while drifting to sleep. Also the key is no shuffle, the predictability makes your brain process it differently as a sleep signal

>It's about time to change that
Heck yeah. All you can do is extend the olive branch, and maybe people are willing and capable of reciprocating your energy. And if not it's data and you have closure until you want to try again

I did the same tonight and reached out to a hurtful person. They didn't respond, it gives me closure that they aren't in sync with me right now. I will try again maybe another time, maybe not. But Im being true to my values as will you be

>>34132142
I pray you get a life.

Moment of clarity while ruminating
>if she chooses the alcoholic, loser longtime fwb over me then what the fuck am I ruminating about
That really helped shake me out of it. I cannot be stressed about losing people who dont see the quality I have worked at building for decades. I wont let a rat have a piece of this parmesan wheel without earning it

>>34132244
Interesting. I'll keep in mind how the sequence of music has to be always the same in order to work, as if it were a sort of journey.
>Heck yeah. All you can do is extend the olive branch, and maybe people are willing and capable of reciprocating your energy. And if not it's data and you have closure until you want to try again
Let's put it this way, both of them were people that truly understood me and appreciated me for who I am.

Worst case scenario, I either get ignored or I get the thrill of getting the beating of my lifetime.
If everything goes well...

Why are there so many people on this site that just judge by appearance?

Goddamn I miss you two motherfuckers.
I miss talking with you about literally anything.
I miss wandering around town with you.
I miss all the stupid shit we did.

>>34131531
>>34131534
>>34131546
You've never even talked to her. Stop

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>>34132404
Then you got the wrong M. I'm not trying to date your M Mike. Multiple M's in the world. For now I'll call her Mary. But Mary is gonna get a wake-up call for leaving that image of a dude's condom on the net this Valentine's Day if she don't go out with me. Because I so will replace her with a black chick like she did with me with a black dude. HA HOW DOES THAT FEEL!

Either
2 schitzos unrelated and unfortunate cling on from reading what I wrote her
Same but it's 1 schitzo with 2 trips
Someone involved who uses 2 trips

I'll know soon enough.

>>34132425
You literally talked about it being Maria in the last thread

4th is you are Maria I guess.

>>34132449
It isn't Maria it's a different M Mike.

There's enough details from one I'm pretty sure it's connected. Could be the same as when she added me in discord

My God let me get my privacy okay? I don't want this chick to know I'm on this site. She goes this site at times to impress druggies who are 4-5 years older than me.

>>34132473
Okay is she from the top part of the US or the bottom part?

>>34132469
You're saying that you and fake gangster are after a different m, but have both told me it was Maria at tomes

>>34132477
No, she's an M from the Southern part of the United States Mike.

Fine. It's just that I miss when we had complete and vulnerable honesty we had with each other.

And what state is tomes?

>>34132482
It doesn't matter. In not doxing. If the name is Maria it's her, you know this obviously. It is as it is.

Like I don't even think she uses Discord to talk to people to flirt with but instead text or calls them. The M I'm referring to is a popular party girl.

>>34132508
Me-

>>34132514
I said I'm not doxing.

lol

>>34132526
He thinks I'm talking about his Maria. I'm not at all. There's a girl from my Southern state that has a name that sounds similar. What's conflicting is that while I'm posting love stuff about her here. Mike is constantly possessive thinking I'm after her. Especially since the M I'm after is kind of an alcoholic Mike.

I am so so so scared of something happening to my kid. Im a new parent. He's going to be 2 in just over a month. I cant articulate how much he means to me. It hurts to love him so much. He's my everything, my world. Im so sad each time the thought of losing him comes to my mind. Im scared. I know if I lost him, I would die with him. I dont know how to deal with this deep deep sadness. Knowing that I am losing him anyways. He's just gonna get bigger, this sweet little guy I am so close with will one day be bigger and not like me anymore. It makes me so sad. Of course im gonna try to have a great relationship with him but I also have to be a parent. Its hard. It makes me wanna burst into tears.

I like to stick my finger up my butt until I bleed

>>34132511
Never fall for these types of girls. Only pain will come from it. Move on. You have bitch dependency.

>>34132533
Yup, She reacted friendly when I said alcoholic

>>34132540
lol

Hitagi, sometimes some poop comes out with the blood and I roll it around in my mouth mushing it with my tongue thinking of you before swallowing.

Right. Preemptively get fucked.

And then my breath smells like ass and it reminds me of kissing my dad and makes me piss myself.

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Thing is though she has a ton of guys going after her like crazy. I'm trying to be careful with it all. Woman casted a spell on me to fall in love with her when I text and call her. Is a buddy on a tier list but tricks me into thinking we're both boyfriend and girlfriend. I try to hide that fact, but I know deep down really deep down she sees me as this special ed drooler, or a gay nerd, or a 13 year old manchild. Compares me to Tom Hanks character in Forrest Gump. Has no idea what type of nerd I am as a 31 year old. However it is indeed a conflict I am dealing with now. Right now as I'm typing she's talking to another guy think I'm all gushy over her and she's laughing at that idea since she thinks it's some retard and not a man. Though she's gonna get a guy who is a man at some point. Though I really would like our culture to view the matter positively and in a fun way rather than negatively.

Gah I hate when others do what I do to them

>>34132544
Okay I'm gonna get a little bit more specific Mike. Are we talking Eastern Southern United States or Western Southern United States

>>34132572
I absolutely love when "people" such as yourself show how much of an inflated ego they have.
What hurt you this time? It surely can't just be just that "lol".

I caught a mouse a couple weeks ago. Today I caught a mouse and this time it was in my room. I'm kind of terrified. All my food goes in the fridge so I don't know what they possibly could be eating or why they're in here. I really really really hope there isn't more I don't think god likes me enough to grant me that mercy.

I don't understand how I can fit 20 dicks in my mouth but I can't fit my fist in my mouth.

It makes literally no sense

Maybe it's because I put the 20 dicks in my mouth in sequence... That can't be it could it?

I'll try 20 more and double check

Okay, Mike this is the best effort I can give to not doxxing the name I think we got the wrong person:

https://gprivate.com/6jjun

Please do not say the name out loud.

Where did Mike go?

In fact ask her if she knows a guy named Zach.

>>34132607
Okay. If you could not say shit about Maria and you are jealous of me and all that other shit about her then we are good

Still leave fake gangster and their ass hat larp posts (which have had specific details, the same goes for, if it's not Maria then stop and we are good)

fake and gay

>>34132626
It's just a mix-up I got too schizophrenic about.

Okay well that just leaves fake gangster

ive been in a long distance relationship with my gf for about 9 or so months now. It was pretty amazing for the first couple months but now that ive gone to uni I literally can't stop thinking about her no matter what I do and I fear its making me miserable. It's more so alternating from "I hate her, why does she bother me. I'm missing out on hookups" to "I love her so much and would kill myself if she leaves". Thing is, it's totally incoherent why I would resent her at all. She's essentially all I could ask for in someone (if sometimes annoying). I kept feeling this way even when I came back home, to the point where I would deliberately start arguments over stupid shit before immediately backpedaling and crying like a bitch once I realized she wasn't gonna take it. Most of the time I'm starting arguments over her complaining too much.
Every day I'm back and forth between wanting to leave her and desperately wanting to stay, basically just depending on my mood. Idk if I'm a narcissist, mentally ill or what because I haven't talked to a professional since I was a kid. Maybe I'm pornsick or something? I started weening myself off it because I thought I was fucking with me in bed/my opinion of her and all these feelings are slightly less prevalent than they were before. Regardless, I don't think I'm doing a very good job at avoiding porn, just not actively seeking it out anymore.

I don't trust you

Ok.

The love of a mother is useless without discipline from a father

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>>34132764
ok 4chan user

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>getting paid to doxx somebody
>hundreds of dollars
>boss and the team confirmed to be involved
>not going to say no (who would!?!)

>>34132838
I already tell people I frequent this site to help you all with depression and myself too. I don't think it'll do much.

>>34132764
Jokes on you. She has a dad and a husband she doesn’t post online about because of retarded simps like you who stalk her socials. She lives rent free in your head daily.

>>34132764
We’re sorry ur a bastard ray of sunshine using ur sad sap story about ur dead dad.. fucking wounded narc

THE DAY ENDS VICTORY FOR THE SOUTH
GOD'S WILL IS PROFOUND
WE ARE INVINCIBLE AND OUR CAUSE IS JUST

*farts on your face*

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>>34132838

You admitted what you did to us. I tried to tell her before. That's good for her to know now that you confirmed what you did.

Ti amo Miri. Even if you absolutely hate me. Just know that.

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>>34132965
You left out the rest of your message. Here it is

I'm not afraid of asking women out to a date, if she says no she says no, whatever, I even got some really bad rejections in the past, so its not what I'm afraid of. I just don't know what to do after. So we go on a date, then another, then another and it just doesn't go anywhere new after that, its like we're endlessly hanging out until she starts getting impatient and gets pissy and passive aggressive because I'm not doing something to escalate, then I get sick of her bullshit and mind games and I end things or we just stop seeing each other and it goes nowhere. I don't know how to escalate, it just feels weird to me that there is a set number of dates to go on, then its like you have to feel out a moment to do "something" and then idk what happens, never got there. Asking to be official just sounds childish and cringe, making a move sounds like too much and I don't want to make her uncomfortable and then have to live with that, like I'm some sort of creep that "misread" the situation. I don't fucking know, why do things like this always make me feel like its some sort of inside joke only I don't get? like everyone was born with the knowledge on how to do these things, and I'm the only one that struggles to figure out what to even do...

Do you guys know if any Self Improvement General is still active? my depression got really bad and I need some help but I can't find a /sig/ in any board.
>just get a therapist
I can't get one right now, I won't have access to those kinds of services for at least half a year

>>34133063
It's not, at least /pol/ and /fit/ jannies delete it on sight now.

I wish I was simple like some of my cooworkers that don't mind being bossed around and doing other's work for them but I can't stand this kind of treatment, its so fucking degrading and depressing I just want to be out of there.

There are maybe 10 people out of 50+ that I work with that actually do the work, the rest sits on their phones and always claims the easiest work stations so they don't have to do anything. Meanwhile if there is a busy spot or something needs to be done, they are nowhere to be found and managers always come to people like me to do it because they know I do the job and its more convenient for them to ask me instead of making some useless retard actually do their job, but its so degrading. The other day I saw 5 people sitting on the conveyors just looking at their phones, then my manager sees that and she takes ME, and tells me to do the job nobody wants to do. So I'm there with one of those pallet trucks, taking shit out to the trucks for hours, and every time I'd come back these retards would still be sitting on their phones. I felt like a fucking slave doing everyones dirty work. They sit on their asses doing nothing, I spend hours walking back and forth across the entire warehouse dragging shit behind me, dealing with the trucks being full and navigating that mess. Then we all clock out at the same time, I'm tired and want to go home, and they're full of energy having done nothing and we both get paid the same amount of money. And its like that every fucking day, that sort of shit pisses me the fuck off and it depresses me to be treated like that.

I brought it up to HR once but they started to question my capability to work instead. I told them off and things got ok for like 2 weeks before they went back to normal because people started getting passive aggressive that they now have to do something at work, so they stopped and I'm back to square one. I can't quit either because the job pays too well...

>>34133165
Relatable. I've been stuck in pallet picking for almost 18 months because according to the managers they need someone to replace me first, but HR never sends new hires to the warehouse and when they do it's always women and old people.

A lot of the zoomers are also weirdly scared of driving a forklift. Even some of the ones who are willing to do it never seem to get comfortable. Very strange.

Untouched by sun, I have erected an altar to nature. Every surface is covered, plants sprout and feast. The very air smells of sweet decay, the walls blacken with mold. When I breathe in one last time, will my soul be consumed by the spores I cultivated? Ah, please let it be true. Let me be devoured. Let them find me after 6 months, let my corpse be soil, let my stillness be the grounds for new life. Let the wasps that live in the wood of my furniture, let the bees that cocoon themselves in hard clay on my curtains, let the spider eggs in their fragile nets hatch. Burrow yourself into my resting flesh. I deserve nothing less. When I sit in the center of this kingdom I am already dead. Has anything ever tasted so exquisite? I will live forever, die forever, hahaha. Time stands still. Flowers bloom and wither, wither and bloom, bloom and wither. Over and over and over. I don't want to share this excruciating ecstasy with anyone else. I never want to leave this room.

>>34133165
Why didn't you tell the people on their phones to get off their ass?

Damn you're officially the dumbest people to ever exist

I lost. I hope you're happy.

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Every day I wake up and ask myself whether today is the day I should kill myself.
I don’t want to live. I even have a poison that would let me die relatively peacefully, but I keep going anyway. I just exist: eating, doing neet escapist stuff on autopilot, sleeping.

Most of the hopes, dreams, and aspirations I once had are gone. I don’t really care about much anymore. I’m making a game, and honestly, the desire to finish it is probably the only thing keeping me here.

I’ve stopped thinking about what-ifs and where things went wrong. It’s a strange kind of sadness when you realize that the kid version of you, endlessly optimistic, excited to grow up, full of hope and dreams, is gone. And what’s left is a hollow shell, just existing, neither fully alive nor fully dead.

my dad died with $75k in debt to various credit card companies and no property they could collect the debts on. I feel that's one of the more impressive things he'd done his entire life. a poor epitaph but I aspire to follow his example when my time comes.

>>34133743
What poison do you have?

>>34133964
Ascend by debtmaxxing

https://youtu.be/Nw5AMCEiZms?si=W1qQ-Qb29mN5fgiR

>>34133743
Just find a new thing to do

>>34132813
Seething single mom
>>34132858
>Anon got so pissed he started white knighting his own mom
>>34132877
schizobabble

Day 7. The rain washed away the remaining snow. I can traverse the neighborhood safely but I miss it. Forecast calls for more flurries this week but it’s not the same.

I had so much to do today but I can't keep up, I fucked up again and I'm so scared of the consequences but I really can't keep up, I'm so tired I barely can move my body, everyone is going to be mad at me, I'm so sorry, I should have gotten in bed earlier last night, I should have done better.

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>>34134202
Sleep now worry later

Me if I ever dated M: M stay it's okay.
M: Zach fucking Christ I need it now! I need it.
Me: M it's okay...
M in tears: You fucking piece of shit! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME GET IT!
Me: It's okay. I'm here.
M: You don't get the amount of pain I'm fucking in you fucking overly prestigious white piece of shit! I know I'll replace you like I do with all the other men who won't let me!
Me: It's okay I'm here.
M: God fucking Hell! You aren't even doing it right! I oughta fucking-
Me: -holding M's shoulders- It's okay I'm here.
M: -crying and holding onto me-

>>34134550
Take your meds.

>>34134580
Yeah you're right. It only exists in movies.

>sick the past week, fucking awful time
>FINALLY making it out of it
>kinda horny, maybe itd be fun to masturbate
>start to look at some pics
>IMMEDIATELY feel sharp, awful pain in my perineum
>like when you have to shit and its an oblong, awkward shape so it hurts to pass
>wonder if Im just mistaking the pain for that instead
>pain fades away as I go soft again
well, so much for that. one way to keep me celibate in all forms I guess

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ENOUGH!

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Okay so I'm gonna try to eat a peach or other fruit this valentine's day. Hopefully it works out. I definitely need to get M off my mind. She probably is so scared of me she is holding a gun at her door in case an intruder shows up. Christ I hate how creepy I am.

M out here breaking hearts

>>34134660
Git gud faggot clanker lmao

>>34134694
Yeah well that is just how she is dude. You got to pay attention to the tier list I made. Turns out she is indeed very replacable. Why go through all that unnecessary trouble of trying to hook up with her when I can get the same thing except a bit better from another chick? She really ain't that special when I look at it.

god give me a sign

>>34134736
Same. Anon take a nice warm shower, make yourself some good healthy soup and drink luke warm water.

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M, if you don't date me by Valentine's Day, I'm hooking up with someone who will.

https://youtu.be/80RtBeB61LE?si=6C6TaJttv-FnuUmI

Sorry I'm just really nervous about figuring out my whole living situation right now.

>>34134777
It's gonna be okay.

>>34134791
People keep saying that, but like, people just arbitrarily become millionaires or homeless all the time... in my country.

>>34134668
I am thankful Maria loves me and truly knows me.

Sucks you have a bad story

It has nothing to do with Maria and I

>>34134852
Good for you. I'll be eating some fruit this Valentine's Day. She'll look as attractive as the M I like and we'll have a good Valentine's day together. This one will feel zero shame despite it being one day.

>>34134860
Nah, you'll rot because she sees what a pathetic conniving weasily lying manipulative piece of shit you are and leave you.

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>>34134882
Not my problem.

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She feels shame because she loves me naturally, I'm a part of her and she feels that missing part of her everyday. I know how it hurts so badly. We complete each other and she misses me every day. Every day it hurts.

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Love and lust

>>34134777
I hope you have a roof over your head. I've been through similar situations and I have a vague idea of what's it like.

>>34134904
MIKE YOU'RE SCHIZOPHRENIC. NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR MARIA! I DON'T KNOW HER AND HARDLY ANYONE HERE DOES! I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO REASSURE YOU, BUT WE KEEP GOING IN FUCKING CIRCLES! YOU MAKE ABOUT AS MUCH MISTAKES AS JOHN TRAVOLTA'S CHARACTER IN THE PUNISHER WHEN HE THOUGHT HIS WIFE WAS CHEATING ON HIM!

Fucking Hell, now I know how people feel around people who have names. I'm gonna be anonymous for a while, until fucking Mike chills out. This is getting ridiculous. He ain't even joking around. This is sounding nuts this interaction between me and him.

>>34134660
Hey, these beat the shit out of the old captchas. The initial ones where you had to count the number of dots in each box were bullshit, but now it's just simple process of elimination. My autist brain thrives on this shit.

>>34134911
Thanks. Hopefully things work out. I'll be a lot more optimistic looking forward if they do.

Way to go Mike! You almost got me fucking fired! Fucking asshole!

>>34134955
I have faith things will work out for you in the end and you'll solve your living situation.

Fucking doxxed me when I was trying to fucking keep my name anonymous despite it all. Fucking troll! God fucking damn it!

And this GIOYC thing is supposed to be relief for people having stress.

WOW UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WONDERFUL PLACE TO NEVER HAVE FUCKING PRIVACY!

>>34134984
Yeah, but like post less. Post on other boards if you already posted a lot. This is a slow board.

I don't trust

>>34134978
I sure hope so. You're probably right.

>>34135000
Trips don't lie.

>>34135006
I've been getting a lot of trips and dubs today.

>>34135009
Take it as a sign Lady Luck is smiling at you.

dickhead

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>>34134660

>>34134913
Your attempts to make us percieve each other negatively is vary clear and only reflects on what a controlling creepy weasily conniving manipulative horrid person you are.

>>34135048
OH MY FUCKING GOD MIKE! YOU ARE RETARDED!

>>34134668
You writing these creepy larps to manipulate emotions

You wrote

>Okay so I'm gonna try to eat a peach or other fruit this valentine's day. Hopefully it works out. I definitely need to get M off my mind. She probably is so scared of me she is holding a gun at her door in case an intruder shows up. Christ I hate how creepy I am.

You are the one with narc mental issues.

I am keeping her safe from your toxic influence

I WAS LITERALLY FUCKING CLOSE TO BEING FIRED BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT!

>>34135054
You're fucking stupid Mike!

>>34134977
You deserve it for targeting harassment and manipulating emotions with larp posts intended for harm others.

>>34134982
I didn't do shit. More is your lies.

>>34135062
MIKE YOU'RE A DUMBASS! I DON'T KNOW HER!

>>34134997
Good. He's lying about me doxing him.

I'M EVEN A DUMBASS FOR TALKING TO YOU!

>>34135051
Nah, I call it as it is and you didn't get away with it and are now facing the consequences.

Doesn't make me retarded. It put my neck on the line and deal with your bullshit so others are not harmed by you.

>>34135056
Good. Targeted harassment and manipulating emotions of others to take advantage of them and use things they say in your larps to push them around is toxic and should be taken care of.

>>34135077
I... DO... NOT... KNOW... HER...

You are a malignant narcissist. You've killed me. You will kill again.

>>34135066
I don't care. Your targeted larps harm and influence emotions of others

>>34135083
I don't care. I won't put up with someone who manipulative and harming others with conniving behavior

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>>34135087

>>34135084
It's good you see that's who he is. I'm sorry this happened to you.

I put my foot down to make it better for her and others here.

Things will get better.

I promise it's going to be okay.

I have faith.

Even if you feel lost, your compass is not broken.

Sometimes my nights could get long, my nigga
Sometimes I feel God did me wrong, my nigga...

Mike, I don't think you're seeing it. I'm gonna go anonymous for the time being until things cool.

>>34135084
She’s a sweetheart. She’s an empath. You took advantage of her. You took her for granted. When she realized this and set boundaries against you, that put you through ego death or that dark place you describe and cry to us about. I’m glad she’s free from you. Now go fool the next female and continuously fish for attention supply with your fake mask. We all know you abused the mother of your child.

>>34135122
Nig0r Yankee go home

>>34135143
Who is it you think you're talking to?
>NTA

I am the sole responsible for whatever happens to me.

I should have listened to what the actual gangsta ass nigga told me.

>>34135143
You have no power here negro. Go jerk your tictac wiener over your fake sense of power while I mog your dogshit intellect.
>we tracked your isp
Roflcopter

>>34135153
You replied to me, didn’t you? I got an emotional reaction from you therefore I have power over you. Weak ego.

You would talk about you gettin' up out this game
And you would tell me how it keeps callin' your name...

>>34135084
Nope. I am, no, was an avoidant misanthrope with completely fucked attachment style. I still am a misanthrope. Get your shit straight. Nigger.

>>34135160
Did you learn that after your dad fucked you in the ass? Wah daddy filled me with his hunk spunk now I need to embarrass myself on the internet. Thats you. Thats what you sound like

>>34135173
You somehow managed to stutter through text lmao

>>34135120
What I saw is horrid negative associations attempted to be painted on me to influence her to see me that way.

I won't allow lies and manipulations with ill intent to hurt her and I happen. I won't allow narc emotional blackmail to manipulate to harm so they can take advantage and manipulate further to prop themselves up.

If I caught it at the beginning, we would be better, but I didn't. This is the best I can do for her now and I will stand up for myself with every means necessary so that the manipulative Weasley conniving narcs behavior that he intends to put on me is reflected only on himself and he has to deal with the consequences of that because of what kind of person he is and the actions he's done.

>>34135183
https://youtu.be/sU5RhMF6I54?si=OZKOLv6O9Bv03XaE

>>34135178
You went off subject. That is a narcissistic tactic to divert attention from the fact I called you out at what you are. You are the narcissist with a weak ego and short temper. Pfft she lives rent free on your mind. She don’t even give a fuck about you homo. She’s married. You’re pathetic.

>>34135117
>>34135161
...Not here please.
:)

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>>34135197
Youre a stinky incel that thinks people have the same hang ups as you.
P A T H E T I C

>>34135203
I was just listening to the song...

My body feels a little tired, I hope I'm not getting sick, but today and yesterday I was very constipated. I also did do a 6k payment today which could be apart of it.

'Cause all I ever wanted was to be a better man
And I try to keep it real with my homies, man
They want me to save the world, I don't understand
How did I become the leader of a billion fans?

>>34135208
Oooh, awkward. It happens sometimes.

I FUCKING HATE WOMEN so GOD DAMN MUCH

Question, why would a woman with a bf act like her bf doesn't do anything for her when he actually does a lot?

>>34135251
Because she needs an excuse.

>Mom got a 1k dollar payment today from her side job with 500 of it being a gift
>I paid 6k for a family thing
>Said she would pay me back a little bit over time since I took the whole cost
>Not offering anything right now even though she got her money after I paid for it
>Still owes me 4 dollars from before that she conveniently forgot about
OK.

>>34135268
>Still owes me 4 dollars from before that she conveniently forgot about
OY V E Y
Y

G
E
V
A
L
T

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>>34135268

>>34135284
Stop telling them we call them goys, oy vey...

that conversation depressed me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtW_4j7SsZk

Owing money and that kind of thing really doesn't play a factor with loved ones for me. I'm willing to let things like that go easily because I care about them more than money. Really it's just a way I provide for her and she gives back what she chooses she feels is right. Ultimately it's more about the action than the actual money. She could give it to me and I throw it in the shredder because it's the action that matters. Not the thing

Right. Time to play some videogames.
Ciao.

Nevermind, let me give a lil jab at lil Mike (Naoya or whatever your name's spelling is)

>>34135304
That reads: "I extort money from her like I did from my previous relationship with someone that I called Maria, but whose initial is V".

The woman on the Bookborn Booktube channel is qt af.

Basically I don't feel supported by my parents and older brother. I'm not american so grades are important in my shithole. I'm naive and easily trust my family so I've been making the entirety of my life choices according to their wishes. I'm not living a life like I want to. So i started coping and staying up too late and eating too much and at times I didn't do too well in uni (3.02 cumulative GPA in my 4th year - bad by their standards). As a kid everytime I did something wrong my mom would get sad and angry and not talk to me. So my brain has been wired ever since childhood to do things the way mom approves of because if didn't, it means my mom would hate my existence. Now I live in constant fear especially of getting bad grades to the point I got a mini heart attack from stress and sadness. An actual fucking heart attack. I don't stress as much now because I'm doing alright. I'm 21 and my mom still threatens me with the wifi for staying up past 1 am. When i got an 84.85% in my highschool she called me a failure and that I was the cause of her illnesses. She told me birthing me was the biggest mistake of her life when I wasn't sleeping early and doing the dishes and cooking. I can't hate them because they've still been nice to me and are my family and I realise my mom's way of asking me to sit with her in the morning is by taking away my phone or turning off the wifi at night. They have horrible execution of good intentions so i can't hate them. I just feel helpless I can't decide for myself without feeling insanely guilty or afraid. Shit like getting married even needs their approval in my mind. And I feel guilty as hell for even thinking of my mom in a bad way. But they really really hurt me. At a point in my life I was feeling so guilty and like a huge burden to the point i hung a noose and had it around my neck but I never went through with it because my sister would be alone.

>>34135258
For what?

At this point I might as well buy it sooner than later, the thing that sucks is the store closes right when I get out of work. Amazon works of course but that leads to more risk due to the shit conditions with the ice/rain and I'd probably not be home when it arrives. I could go in the morning but that has the problem of fucking with my dev time and I'd have to wake up early, which I sometimes don't.

>>34135401
To cheat.

>>34135359
My older brother give me and my sister advice by calling us sensitive and also calling us Internet addicts (he's an even bigger addict) but because he is working and is financially stable and supports my mom he is right. He tells me i suck and i will never succeed in life like this and gets mad at me because i made my mom sad about something she never even directly says to me. and i end up feeling guilty again ofc. I wanted freedom and was able to land a scholarship in an another country but i was told to not go by mom because she was worried about me and the retard me listened to her. Now she tells me i was the reason i didn't go and she sort of has a point. But i was again afraid of saying no to her. I will never be enough i will never be liked by her the same way she likes my brother i feel worthless and disgusting and afraid of doing things now and imagine myself dying all the time. All i crave is nice words from them is all to feel supported and loved. Bad things are always because of me. I really really need to get rid of this mindset.

I might have to wait until Tuesday, perfect amount of time afterwards to fuck around. Every other day either has be too tired or too late.

>>34135329
That is your own negative connotation to what I said. What I said is positive and loving. Money does not matter to me with the person I love and I don't believe in putting value in money, I put value in the person. What I can provide for her I will because I love her and want the best for her. I was saying that if you ever felt she wanted to repay that the value in that would not be the money I received, it would be in the heart she gave in the effort toward me. The money she gave me could go in the shredder, the money does not matter to me. She matters me.

You mentioned V before. Gave it some thought and perhaps you mean vamp? I don't believe I've ever talked to vamp. But this is an anonymous site So perhaps I have? I get a lot of adds on discord and very rarely they say who they are so I could have briefly talked to her.

>>34135329
Who is naoya?

Aaraya, why are you making this hard for me?

>>34135410
My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry you are feeling such struggle. To me it sounds like you suffer from an internal negative voice. That is a very difficult thing to live with. I think it's important to recognize who you are. From what I see I think you should be happy that you have such a kind and caring heart. You have empathy and are putting Your loved ones above your own needs. If your family had the same heart this would not be an issue cuz it would balance when they put your needs above their own when needed. From what you're saying I do not see that happening. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I want you to recognize that you do have a heart and that is an incredible thing to have, and unfortunately a rare thing in this world. I'm proud of you for that.

>>34135423
Mike that's schizophrenia... Plus that Matia post was from Covid times... It's old.

>>34135456
You're stuff about vamp is schizophrenia? Cool sorry you suffer for that.

True love and soulmates are forever
Nothing can ever change that
I'm a part of her, as she is a part of me
She feels me everyday, that space where I reside, where I'm missing and feels that hurt.
That's why she still has been reaching out to me after all this time. She can't allow herself to lose me.

Imagine if I took all this positive energy in my life and did something evil. That would damn me into hell forever.

I never felt love, but it feels like I'm fallin'
I know you got niggas on your line callin'
Them niggas never gon' put they all in

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>>34135470
I think you need to see a psychiatrist. Get some medication. Go on a fitness plan. You sound high as fuck Mike.

>>34135485
He should see a shotgun, not a shrink

Might send lifeberg to the shotgunocaust

>>34135496
You say shit like this and expect me to leave you alone? It's not funny.

>>34135502
It's a little funny. Sorry. I use gallow's humor to cope with hard times.

>>34135485
Well you really only have one card to play. Calling posts I make mentally ill like this
>>34135423
Clearly shows you as a manipulative narcissistic asshat.

It is only to your detriment and I'm happy for that.

>>34135451
It is indeed something like a negative voice. And thank you for hearing me out mike you seem like a kind person yourself. I wish you well

>>34135523
Okay believe whatever you want Mike.

>>34135556
Something that helped me is practicing patience and kindness, the same you would show towards others, towards yourself. Give yourself that same forgiveness and understanding you would others.

I have found that the phrase I'm trying is not In reality what is actually happening. You were never trying, you're always doing. You are doing it and every time You're getting better at it. Give yourself that recognition of accomplishment. No more trying, because you're always doing.

I wish you well too

>>34135596
That is a good phrase because it's a thing you build up through all the little failures to understand, it's not a one shot of trying and failing. And yeah caring for myself is something i struggle with my I'm getting there slowly but surely.
I realise now that there are decisions in life that are only for you to decide and not anyone else. How they feel and react is their duty and not your responsibility. I'm not justifying being selfish of course one has duties too but it's a very freeing thing to realise for those who need it. And im gonna keep realising it till i fully internalise it.
Have a good day/night!

Getting my anxious gf to take accountability feels like pulling teeth and she will constantly argue to avoid feeling guilty or acknowledging how she makes me feel. Meanwhile I have so much fucking self-hatred because I take accountability for everything, even things I shouldn't, leading me to believe that I'm just a horrible person unless I'm going out of my way to take the blame and constantly please her. Picked up a steak knife and wondered if I should just to back to cutting myself again.

It's been over six years. It's 2026, you fucking pricks.

>>34134660
gitgud scrublord

I love all of you; disappointed in a some too.

I'm sorry, but the girls who are usually my type could wear you like armor. I'm just not attracted to you. You're sweet, but I just can't.

I feel like niggas is plottin' on me, makes me wanna wage spiritual war.

When I was more naive I used dwell on people because I didn't want to face the truth about them and I used to ignore my gut instinct because it told me something I didn't want to hear
Now that I'm older I realized I was right a lot of the times when it really mattered

With that being said: my employee is a massive grifter that wanted to suck up to whoever she thinks is her boss, and she did try to report me to get her friend into my position.

what else is there

>>34135918
not much. this world isn't as complex as people try to make it out to be. "unlimited possibilities" is a lie, do what you're capable of and accept that.

>>34135918
There are lots of qualities and adjectives you probably are not aware of or poorly understand.

>>34131278
>I don't have any friends to talk to
Not trying to judge or be insulting but you are very whiny (like everyone else on this board) If you can become less of a whiny person maybe people will genuinely like you. For example if I go to a bar and talk to some random people like play some billiards or something I can make multiple friends in a single evening. But if some drunky starts whining about their problems I will avoid them like the plague.

>>34133063
Start one here?

Thought we were good, the hardest part is chokin'
Been alone so long, can't even say my heart is broken

it's over.

I love you. I miss you everyday. I hope you’re eating well and smiling often. Hope you get time to spend with your friends and your family too. Hope you have time for everything you want in life. Fuck I wish I’d figured out what to say sooner or just hadn’t freaked out so bad. Trying to meet other people hasn’t worked. I’ve been trying I swear I have and it’s like I’m waiting for you to come back. It’s really weird. Sorry. I just hope you had a good day today.

If you're a late 20s to early 30s incel, maxx lifting and cardio for about a year. You'll improve significantly. Then you can get the attention of early 20s girls online very easily with basic pics and a cocky attitude. Then turn online into irl
Incel to e-fuckboy speedrun in one year

>>34136076
That's kinda what I am now.

Because my two bosses at work care a lot about me and gave me a job and are bending over backwards helping me get a good living and afford college. Mainly for them helping me pay for my education. I grant them the high honor of being Good friend on the tier list, but everyone else there is buddy or below. W may be looking at the list, and be like BUT I'M YOUR FRIEND. No W you're a buddy like M. Having to make me play one game with you and make sure it is a high level is heavy gatekeeping shit. It's the type of shit a guy who I talked to on Discord from a Reddit discord did to me, made the claim we'd play, didn't play, and leave me stranded. That's gatekeeping behavior. My boss on the other hand is really trying his damn best for me. He may barely talk to me, but the fact he is making sure I get a 40 hour per week job which is a honor as an autistic is different from everyone else there. Truly a real friend.

having a personality and lifestyle that naturally leads to a lack of any friends but still having the emotional urge to have some is fucking torture.
it fills me with so much dread being reminded how socially stunted i am, it makes me cry like a child when i really think about it or when some stupid piece of media reminds me of it, im fine w witnessing others with friends but anything that has to do with anyone losing a friend just sets me off, not because i relate but because i dont. ive never even been truly close enough with someone to lose them in the first place. i can’t even relate to others struggling with loneliness, further isolating myself, it all just makes me feel like an alien unable to connect properly, zero chance its due to any mental or neurodivergent disorders either, this is all just me and nothing else to blame. if i didnt have such a good relationship with my father im sure suicidal ideations would have made a visit with me by now.

>>34136042
Say hi?

Dealing with people that will not do their job is past frustrating. Especially when their job is to get rid of HIV and AIDS clusters. Before moving on to different forms of herpe and genital warts.

Seeing someone believe they can destroy your reputation until violence occurs is always the pre cursor to war. There is nothing that can be said. When your motives is to change someone’s sexuality. Force that person into a homoerotic relationship and ruin societal norms with cnstant lies. Proven as pseudo science. War will always become the default autocorrection

Feminism is poison that destroys the mind.

>>34136361
Worrying about reputation is for idiots.

I knew I would eventually see something in you I didn't like. I saw a small flash of it once before and ignored it, but it turns out it's a bigger part of your personality I hadn't seen yet.

I desire a mommy gf but I don't think those really exist.

chores and people that are like chores
bullshit unbearable inefficiency and waiting for hours
shit bureaucracy
multiple phone calls

>>34135773
It's actually been quite a bit less than that when you actually do the math.

And still I stayed for her through it all. I kept my promises

>>34136420
Hot, but I also have to fuck her brains out

>>34136407
Share

Holy fuck this thread is unusable, please ban these faggots asap

>>34136361
What are you on about

>>34136559
There's actually no trip anons in the thread right now. Is that what you're seeing? You should take your meds

TL;DR - I realized that I've been emotionally cheating on my boyfriend and I don't know what to do from here.

I have BPD. I have a boyfriend IRL.

Recently, I joined a discord server and got to know many people in the community. A guy from the server DMs me and we start chatting - it started off casual and friendly and now it's become more intimate and I've been fantasizing about him forcing himself on me after we started talking about more lewd stuff. He makes dirty jokes with everyone and DMs other girls from the server to chat so I thought that this was his norm with everyone. Eventually things escalated and he sent me a dick pic and it hit me that things have gone too far. Before this, there were "adult" conversations but they never turned explicitly sexual. I responded with "Oh" and didn't react much to it. It hasn't been brought up again in our conversations since. What should I do? Do I really hit him bluntly with the "I have a boyfriend" talk? I know it seems like the obvious thing to do, but I don't want to share info on my personal life - all I wanted was to chat with people like how I can share everything and chat with anons here. I know people use Discord differently, people get into online relationships and all, but I really wasn't trying to bait anything. Should I just leave the server? Having Discord friends is a recent thing and I don't mind cutting it off if it's the best way.

I've also been emotionally reliant on another male acquaintance from this server (nothing romantic nor sexual here)... It's really just me spamming him about my life and being parasocial while he responds with not much substance once in a while. It's feels like posting on here except I know there's a very real person who must be affected or at least somewhat inconvenienced by my actions. But his nonchalant demeanor reminds me of my ex-boyfriend (who never showed affection to me and then left me for another woman), so I may be just attracted to the distant/avoidant vibes.

>>34136605
Block the other person and admit what you did to your bf. Even just text the post you just wrote. Go from there

So as usual you have a go at me for absolutely no reason, when I am literally doing what you want me to do, and somehow it's a surprise to you when I decide I won't tolerate such bullshit and snap back.

Hadn't even been out of bed for 10 minutes.

As usual you refuse to accept criticism, act like you were justified in your behaviour and cause even more shit as a result.

Go back to therapy. It obviously didn't teach you enough.

They call him Mr. No Longer Initiating

>>34136685
Why is that?

>>34136650

>T. malignant narcissist

>>34136689
FKA Mr. Sole Initiator

Oh fuck me, I put a space after my trip password and obviously you cannot see a space. The post with that trip is me Mike !!6V0oUeZxsHR

>>34136692
Doesnt need to be a malignant narcissist, can be a covert narcissist or some other clusterfuck B retard.

>>34136767
Let's harvest their organs

lol

~~~~~~
The light switch is flipping or already flipped and there's a struggle going on with acceptance and recognition because of shame and guilt

I have a crush on my cousin. She's smart, beautiful, and we've always gotten along great because we're the two smartest - or at least, the most obnoxiously cerebral - members of our extended family and have a lot in common. I refuse to let myself get closer to her. I truly hate it. I just grind my teeth and bear it.

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>dad gets divorced
>marries hot piece of ass
>for whatever reason, she decides it's appropriate to "get ready for bed" by stripping down to a thin, cotton tank top (that did nothing to hide her huge nipples) and high-waisted satin panties
>tucks my siblings and I in and gives us a kiss on the cheek this way
I will never forgive my father for what he did to my sexual preferences. Never.

>Make what I believe are the best choices for my life
>Starting to think many years later I fucked up
Guess all I can do is keep pushing to un-fuck things

>>34136420
They do exist. Maybe some day we will find one.

"Good Luck, Babe!" is a perfect song. Woke up with it in me head after not listening to it for like a year and have had it on repeat for the past two hours.

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I know she does not care about me.
It was settled the moment I invited her out one month ago and she refused to go. So, it's not that surprising that she'd pay no attention to me (not even a glance) when I talk to her.

I still love her, but I wish I didn't.

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Why is hackerman trying to reset my old instagram account’s password?

>>34137136
You’ll get over her before too long anon. You deserve better than that.

I'm really stupid and I don't know how to not be stupid

>>34137175
Thanks, anon.
I know I will, eventually.

>>34135968
I can't, it would probably get achieved when I'm not around to bump it, I didn't get out of bed in the last 2 days, I can't keep a thread up.

Welp, seems 2026 won't be my year either. Pack it up, boys.

>>34137237
Yes it will be

>>34137243
Nope. Another tragedy it's already rearing its head in the family.

I know you are just waiting for that other girl to be over the guy she just broke it off with. You are waiting to just throw me away. You have it built up so much that I actually fell in love with you and now I find out that you are fucking these girls for their onlyfans and have a 'wife' waiting for you to dump me.
It hurts. I thought you were better, but you are the worst.
This isn't a breakup text, you already did that. I feel stupid for imagining sharing my whole life with you. I feel dumb for choosing you.

>>34137263
Dang, I'm sorry anon

Recently realized the old school principal once used my hand to give himself a handjob. Made me kiss the shaft too. Cut me off and prevented me from describing what happened when other adults eventually intervened. Even worse, I realize that while people intervened and saved me from that shit long term, he proceeded to get away with it with other kids before and after me, including one of my closest friends who later wound up gay. I recall a lot of uncomfortable jokes and convos with that friend now and I feel bad that no one was there to save him, and I had repressed whatever I experienced and had no clue until now.

My own mother who had been molested countless times trying to shelter me from sexual things, precluded me from knowing what a penis was, being able to describe it, knowing what was happening, or understanding that I ought to have run away and found help when it happened.

And the worst part? I was old enough to handle it when I realized all this. It honestly doesn't bother me as much as knowing the principal abused many more students until his death. Watching my parents' shitty relationship deteriorate has been far more damaging than being molested ever was.

Gymfagging done.

It's weird. I got an intrusive though. I remembered I saw a glimpse of her while she was driving somewhere, I think it was yesterday, and she changed haircut to an almost hime cut.
Such beauty...

>>34137149
I think with that you can get into the Facebook account with Cross login as well as use messenger to access your contacts in your phone and read messages on messenger and your Instagram DMs. Possibly engaging a form of distrust and sneaky shit

I don't know what is happening today. I am going psychotic. I need to talk to someone but there is no one. I need to leave this house. I need more money. I need friends. I need a gf. I have nothing. I am scared to do anything. I feel unwelcome everywhere I go. I feel that I am being annoying and bothering everyone all the time. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make friends. I don't understand why would someone want to be my friend.

I would make sure you have different passwords for each account as well as two-factor authentication using an app on your phone or an email address that you stay logged out of unless you need to use the 2 factor sign in that only you have access to If your devices physically accessible to others.

All it takes is exporting your account data and they don't even need to be logged in to read that once it's exported.

Make sure your Gmail password is secure as well as your Apple password. That is your most important accounts as. They are gateways to the rest of your accounts once someone exports your passwords.

>>34137493
Turn off the screen and spend some quality time by yourself away from everyone else for a period of several weeks.

Start now and don't post anymore post complaining or making excuses or drawing it out with a bunch of words. Just leave and focus on yourself alone

One of the most important things you can do is remove all your passwords from Chrome browser and put them in a password manager. Chrome browser passwords can be accessed without needing any credentials. Really fucking stupid

>>34129721
Idk if anyone remembers but i was posting about an ex who basically dumped me 3 years ago. I got into another relationship 1 year later that lasted for 2 years until i was cheated on and we broke up. Now shortly after the breakup around like November my first ex has been reaching out and trying to get close to me. I have been weak and caved a bit because i still find her attractive and she was very convincing, we had a cafe chat and such. It all mostly came to a head this weekend when she came over to answer any questions I had and stop overthinking. I have mixed feelings about what happened.

She did sleep with two people while we were apart (the 3 years). I dont know either of them. Neither was a hookup but she went through a 'bad time' where she was easily led on.

She regretted being 'impulsive' a few months after dumping me but wasnt sure if the feelings were real or just being lonely (ihave this too - do i like her or just want someone?)

And lastly the 'bad time' happened when she heard I was in a relationship and she realized she really did like me but didnt want to be selfish and go after me.

When she saw I removed pics from my ex on instagram she started reaching out, and during december a lot of friend groups had meetups and she heard from someone that i was cheated on, and thats what made her more assertive in trying to talk to me.

Lastly she has been in therapy about the toxic friend group she was part of when she dumped me and she has changed her friends and her social relationships.

Im genuinely in a wat do situation because this all happened so fast.

Also it is incredibly easy to export in a couple clicks all of your Google messages (text messages), contacts, Gmail, photos, chromebookmarks, Chrome passwords, history, essentially all of your Google services. Same goes for exportation of your Instagram profile, DM's, Facebook everything, messenger messages, Twitter. Google's the big one though. Absolutely make sure your Gmail password is secure and not easily accessible by just going to the password field in Chrome browser and looking at it because there's no safeguards there from stopping someone if they have access to your computer and are able to just open up your Chrome browser. No login requiredd

I love her and that's not something I can change. That's what it comes down to. Love.

>>34137237
Don't use the word "welp" - it's fucking gay.

>>34137643
Oh, no! Anyway...

Well at least I don’t use that account anymore. Gotta Google how to get unlinked from my main email.

Fight!