I have been off porn for a while now and its relieving and scary. I was addicted for so long. I now get morning wood, and am horny but don't feel like jerking off. I still occasionally look at porn, but want to stop that too. How do I translate this abstinence into a lifelong habit, and seek sex/relationships from actual women? I have fought for so long and hard to reach this state and I don't want it to go to waste, at all. I still feel like I'd relapse. In fact, last time I used porn and masturbation, I never felt shame, I felt amazing for the first time during, before and after. It's probably why Ive stopped for such a while, because the shame and guilt would make me go "might as well" and sink for weeks and weeks into porn. Any tips on overcoming sexual shame and embracing real sexuality, and forgoing pornography for as long as I could? Relapse is likely but still. Thank you SO much.
By actually going out of your way and confronting the foids
>>34133333I don't know but for me it's all or nothing. I'm not beating the addiction for more shallow bullshit from women because that's what's "normal" or considered being a real man. If she's not good looking, loyal and dtf or staying that way as long as I work on my end then I'm not letting them around me. I don't have much hope I'll get that at this point but I'm ready to accept dying without any family over accepting less than that from them.
>>34133333Congrats on breaking the addiction op. Here is some general motivation for you about relationships.>Men are BuildersLooking back on the decades, I am blessed to have built a great many things.Whether it's been electrical, plumbing, drywall, carpentry, concrete, landscaping,cooking, programming, or relationships, they all had a few things in common:1) I was clueless until I learned from a *blueprint* made by men who came before me.2) The projects that were challenging and time-consuming were the most rewarding.I hope you choose to build things in your life, in your corner on this rock,that enrich others around you. Every generation of men must have builders,otherwise the world does not exist.
>>34133417I already have but I have become disillusioned with the courting process. The more I learn about mating, dating, attraction, etc. the more I despise it all. It feels like you could do everything right, and everything would still go wrong. Which is exactly how reality operates. I've been feeling like, "why bother" lately. Especially since all I consume is relationship bullshit. It's all so tiring and I'm sick of it all, but can't stop from fear of being unequipped. It's a good vice to have I'll admit, but perhaps I really should use that unquenchable thirst for knowing more on more practical matters. Back then I thought I was disillusioned, I didnXt even know. I'm just so disillusioned with it all. I'm sick of it.
>>34135608>It feels like you could do everything right, and everything would still go wrong. Which is exactly how reality operates.Pretty much. The only thing that's risk-free is being single, but that is boring. Dating is like any skill. You make horrible mistakes that can get you hurt in the beginning, but you get better at it and learn over time.
>>34133333Don't shame yourself. You have needs and if you're with your girlfriend then it those needs will be taken care of (along with hers). In the meantime don't feel bad about porn, it's better than hooking up randomly and If you're not pursuing anyone right now or looking to date someone else then it's okay to use porn because no one can expect you to have to just not fulfill those needs. Once you're with your girlfriend you'll quit the porn cuz you won't need it anymore
>>34135616i don't wanna make mistakes and get hurt. i just want someone to be nice to me
>>34135639That's what everyone wants. But things don't always go your way. Something like 70% of relationships fail within a year, and it's usually painful.None of this is to dissuade you, since you can learn from pain. But you should know what you're getting yourself into. There is a reason why monks don't engage in relationships.
>>34135639Relationshits/humans can be awfulBut you don't realise that you have power/sway/influence yourself, tooYou don't HAVE to be at the mercy of others 24 7>i don't wanna make mistakes and get hurt. i just want someone to be nice to meOthers can make mistakes tooYou can deliberately hurt others tooYou can force people to be nice to youYou can be assertive and stand up for yourselfLambast others when they treat you poorlyYou can bully the bullies tooDoesn't just have to be one-sided taking all the hits you know
>>34135616How do I get over the feeling that I will never have another relationship again, even though thats probably unlikely?
>>34133333How about you interact with the maidens? Only way out my dude.
>>34139559Find a sustainable way to live life where you're content enough without a relationship. You shouldn't need a relationship just to be content.
>>34133333Start talking to actual women somehow instead, that should be a big game changer. Download whatever social media app that works best for you or whatever one you get the most action on and just start making relationships with other bored, single, lifeless females who can't get sex like you. They do exist you know. At that point you know wanna look at porn, you'll think people who look at porn are weird or creepy.
>>34141394*you won't wanna look at porn
>>34133333Take zinc vitD3/k2 and start eating a low carb or keto diet. Your dick will be hard all day and your confidence will be through the roof.
>>34133333Quints checked. Definitely worth a try, Depending on your age and income, it might not happen. But absolutely go for it.
>>34141246I don't need the relationship or anyone. But it would be nice. Plus I would get to grow even more as a person, and I'm severly lacking in that department. I also want it to make us better, the people in the relationship. It's not a need, rather it is a sort of catalyst for self transformation that I think I need.
