What you think is "abuse" probably wasn't and you're just a a stupid zoomer who let the internet brainwash you into thinking it was. Go ahead, splinter every interaction you have with a person and label every shard that results with something you can use to decimate yourself. Do anything but live a normal life. Everything that happens to you has to have a victim escape hatch just in case. Make sure you always have a blame condition set up. That's how you live in the current year.

Therapy, letting it go, and trying to forget about it. Remembering it will only bring suffering.

>>34135915
Pretty much
Abuse was probably nothingburger and you're victimising yourself cuz you are inadequate Allround and not just cuz you got abused
Unless you got receipt of abuse
Like what actually happened to you instead of just using the cover-up word "abuse" to try paint urself in unwarranted sympathetic light

>>34135915
>>34136014

hi i was drugged then he had sex with me and i was actively overdosing and he continued to have sex with me.
he also constantly guilttripped me, was mad at me for not moving in with him immediately after i turned 18, kept disrespecting and pushing my boundaries after i said i dislike something or say NO multiple times. he would break me down until i am ok with it. for example i had made a joke about wanting to "get" with a female friend and he took that as me "inviting polygamy" into the relationship and said it was my idea first. he wanted my irl best friend to move in with us and would make excuses and say that having multiple wives or girlfriends was for me when i had no interest in non-monogamy and told him no. when i broke up with him and went no contact he ended up calling me when i got a new phone (the number wasnt blocked on the new phone) and said that he accidentally called me, and that god wanted us to be together because of that and that i was going against god and listening to demons in my head for not getting back with him. i can go on about other situations and how he treated me.

if this is a nothing burger than i dont know what real abuse is

>>34136077
Yeah next time just say that's what happened instead of just calling hi I was abused now please pamper me, playing victim for pity points

>drugged then he had sex with me and i was actively overdosing and he continued to have sex with me.
Well did you consent or not. The laws are blurry around this but yeah that COULD be considered rape. Still not enough detail to confirm but it COULD be, only COULD. Like let's say you took drugs and consented then just didn't really respond after that, blah blah law can still interpret as he was oblivious etc

>>

>>34136151

yes I consented to taking the drugs however during it I was passing out and basically incapacitated and not able to communicate.

and for context he has been taking these drugs for years he knew how much that a first timer shouldve taken

>>34136161
do you actually remember the sex or is it just the fact that it happened that bothers you?

>>34136151
>constantly guilttripped me, was mad at me for not moving in with him immediately after i turned 18, kept disrespecting and pushing my boundaries after i said i dislike something or say NO multiple times. he would break me down until i am ok with it.
No detail/elaboration/what was actually said or happened, just more meme buzzwords. Someone being mad at you isn't really "abuse", it just means they got mad at you for some reason retarded or not

>i had made a joke about wanting to "get" with a female friend and he took that as me "inviting polygamy" into the relationship and said it was my idea first.
Ok, well you both are correct and there was a miscommunication/misinterpretation there

>he wanted my irl best friend to move in with us and would make excuses and say that having multiple wives or girlfriends was for me when i had no interest in non-monogamy and told him no.
Not abusive, just retarded/disrespectful

>when i broke up with him and went no contact he ended up calling me when i got a new phone (the number wasnt blocked on the new phone) and said that he accidentally called me, and that god wanted us to be together because of that and that i was going against god and listening to demons in my head for not getting back with him.
Again not abusive, just retarded. You can just tell him that god doesn't exist and neither do demons and to go take schizo meds and scurry off
No contact is the dumbest move, how are you gonna tie any loose ends if you just block everything and ignore. Just do like minimal-contact or something, but none? Pfft that's what invites even more drama ironically

>i can go on about other situations and how he treated me
If you want

>>34136173
Anyway it sounds like he was retarded and shitty, but not to the level of "abuse" aside from the potential rape/sexual assault
Where do people draw the line of "abuse"? If I were to define it, probs overt/explicit denigration, physical stuff, or forced control. But it's a meaning-diminished buzz memeword by now (in general) I'd say

>>34136167
I remember parts of it and the entire experience was like hell, he also yelled at me the day after and was saying I was thinking much for him when I was high even though he gave me the drugs

of course im "bothered" the experience felt traumatic and like ive been left with a scar on my soul it still effects me daily still

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>>34136077
OH NO, your BOYFRIEND put his pepe in your pussy when you drank to much, while he did it 100x times before that, OH NONONO

>>34136180
Welcome to being a woman. You feel violated but at the same time you derive pleasure from putting up resistance and getting overwhelmed.

>surround myself with positive people
Yes this is good keep doing this

Overall just don't overthink it. Thinking and analyzing won't solve it. What >>34135915 said is directionally right (could have been less offensive but hey noone is perfect).

Don't compromise your standards, keep working on yourself. Eventually you will match with someone worthwhile.

Most importantly, remember each time you sleep with someone new your capacity to love is halved. Sear this into your brain, it's the most important thing for a girl to know.

Stop dating drug addicts
Problem solved

>>34136077
>god wanted us to be together because of that and that i was going against god and listening to demons in my head for not getting back with him. i can go on about other situations and how he treated me.

He sounds creepy and it's a good thing You distance from him. Block the number and move on

>>34136177
>god wanted us to be together because of that and that i was going against god and listening to demons in my head for not getting back with him. i can go on about other situations and how he treated me.

He's creepy and she's better off without him

>>34136077
>i dont know what real abuse is
getting your shit pushed in against your will is categorically abusive, borderline rape
but then again, wtf were you doing sticking around after the fact of being violated?
dont yu have brothers / a father who would beat his ass?
>god wanted us to be together
ah yes, the classic false prophet phenotype; how many of his predictions came true without having first dugged you up?

>how to move forward with this
next time you want a man in your life make certain he will be the one bringing forth kids in a proper marriage with you and seek Jesus Christ because He forgives all sins

otherwise learn to conceal carry and pepper spray any would be faggot like your ex?

>>34136705
Male relatives should totally beat up her boyfriend for doing drugs togeather and than heving sex, it was rape.

>>34136683
Shaniqua's dating choices are limited

>>34135886
>i would like advice and possibly resources on how to move forward with this.
As I think is obvious by now, you're in the wrong place for that. Most people on 4chan are men who hate women. And I don't mean "dislike", I mean intense, visceral hatred. They want all women to be as unhappy as possible. Their first reaction is not to believe you; if they do believe you, they are *happy* about what happened to you; they want it to happen more. They will tell you it's your fault in order to make you feel worse. You feeling worse is their goal.

You really want to get off this site and talk to some normal people.

>>34136832
They give horrid advice on relationships to keep the person who is suffering trapped so they are harmed more

>>34135886
Ignore the trolls who are all social failures who hate women because they fail with them. NOTHING that they say is valid.

You are doing half the job by changing your life in positive ways. The other half is dealing with the scars and wounds left from the bad past. In short you have a common kind of PTSD. There are actual psychological and emotional wounds that can't be ignored but mist be treated and healed.

Fortunately this is one thing that shrinks and therapists are actually pretty good at, and a relatively short (not life-long) therapy can help your recovery and forward movement.

>>34137334
>>34136832
>>34136875
and other posters who are helping

thank you! i really appreciate the kind words and giving me advice... i will seek help in therapy from my college and continue getting support from my friends n family. it is difficult to move past this because in some ways i do blame myself and feel stupid for staying but i know thats not true. thank you all and i am happy to see that people on here can be nice.

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>>34135886
Girl take control of your life and stop living the victim mentality. The past is the past and the future is in your hands. I learned a lot from reading the Debbie Harry autobiography about accountability and making my own way in life.

>>34137439
>. it is difficult to move past this because in some ways i do blame myself and feel stupid for staying but i know thats not true
For what it's worth: the effect that being in an abusive relationship has on you mentally is something that defies logic. The impact is well-documented, but it's something that will never make sense to someone on the outside who hasn't experienced it. One of the things that happens is, you blame yourself. If this didn't happen, most abusive relationships would end after the first act of abuse: it's this odd, self-destructive tendency to feel like it's your own fault that allows it to continue. But it's extremely common. So, understand that you are not alone in blaming yourself. Blaming yourself is one of the effects of abuse. Essentially all people who have been in your situation feel like that. But you are not actually to blame: it was the mental effects of the abuse which kept you trapped in it, and it's their ongoing impact which is making you feel like you're too blame. It will take quite a while for you to truly internalise thatc and stop feeling it; but once you do, you'll feel better. And it will happen

>>34136875
Don't give away the secret

>>34137439
>in some ways i do blame myself and feel stupid for staying but i know thats not true.
You need to take SOME accountability otherwise you'll just fall straight into another shitty relae. Learn from your mistakes type deal, not just entirely blaming the other and acting like a fully helpless victim again