idk where else to say this and get help from, this my last resort where i can be clear in a way. it’s been since two years i haven’t been able to do anything i used to enjoy. i know deep down i want to, but when it comes to doing the things i love i just can’t do it, and i envy others when i see them be who i wish i was. i haven’t been drawing or practicing my art or watching anime, things i love etc anymore in so long. i see people talking about new show releases or showing their art skills and it just makes me feel left out and in a way makes me feel i cant be involved bc this is so stupid but my mind makes me feel like “i can’t be part of that, i’ll get to it another day, when im ready” how do i break out this cycle?not only this, but i tried to find community places online and they still don’t seem to work out for me. i end up being just a lurker, look stupid, get aired and forgotten etc. i want to be able to love the things and enjoy them again but how do i get past this feeling i have of feeling like a outcast and undeserving. it sounds so stupid and i’m sorry but idk, im gettin tired of feelin like this way it’s reaching a breaking point.i fear part of this may be bc i tend to be a sensitive person and i noticed growing up i would always try to put effort in into friendships but ppl weren’t interested in me they wanted to talk to other ppl and when i stopped trying i saw they truly didn’t care abt me. idk tho, id if that’s what messed me up and now its fuckin with me in my mind long term or not. it makes me feel like i’m worthless lonely unworthy forgetful etc.
>>34141205You need to stop viewing yourself and your activities from the lens of others and communities. Withdraw, revert inwards and make yourself worthy and happy first. Become entirely self reliant and self contained, then you'll be free to venture outwards and enjoy life after that. But as long as you keep trying to garner worth and identity through others, you won't get anywhere. It's like running on a treadmill.
Stop mediafagging and reproduce instead
