>>34142386
you said it yourself, you sperg, you were both fucking other people. maybe dont date a slut (and also be a slut) if you cant mentally process slut behavior. dumb faggot.

>>34142387

I get it. I would have been totally fine with her sleeping with a guy here or there. It just feels so fucking cheap for her to get spitroasted by some strangers at a bar

And I'm the idiot taking her on cute romantic sunset walks and getting her flowers. I literally feel like beta bucks.

You are mad she did the same thing you did? What a fag. Just move on. Clearly wasn't that serious if you both felt the need to fuck other people before "being exclusive" whatever the fuck that means.
You already burned that bridge by challenging her trust, and now will likely have a hard time rebuilding a trusting relationship. Does she know you were with other people too? Did she take it the same way you are taking it?
Why is it "rules for me, but not for thee" in this case. Either cope and accept she was used as a cocksleve by a few other dudes and still decided she wanted to be with you, or just find someone else that you don't have such a tainted feeling towards.

>>>/adv/

>>34142389

Yeah she knew I was with other people, too. She said she doesn't love it, but is okay with iit.

I just don't want to feel like the guy who wifes up the ho nobody else wants.

And yeah I worry that trust is broken now and if I come crawling back it's fucked up anyway.

You did overreact. Not in a, your emotions weren't valid way, but allowed your emotions to run you way, because here you are, having second thoughts after having already made your decision. You should think about why it is you reacted the way you did, and then ask yourself if that's something you can live with. From where I'm standing, you sound like you felt betrayed in the moment even though you know technically you shouldn't have. Maybe she's really madly in love with you and you can get back with her and this will all gloss over, but realistically, what's transpired will change the dynamic between you two. Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. Next time ask the old classic what's the biggest cock you've ever had. Lmao.

>>34142386
Dumping her was the obvious rational move. Any girl that does that level of shit at any point is going to be a bad long-term partner. Most guys refuse to see it because they are getting blasted by hormones by having sex with them but 10-20 years down the line when that slows down and the strong bonding of constant sex lessens then they get hit with it.

Of course your upset about it though, you lost a relationship and everything that comes with it. Your animal brain is begging you to get the sex and companionship back even if now your higher brain knows it will never be the same.

Anyone who would try to make you take back a girl like that is either coping or is a bad friend and doesn't put your interests first. Women will do a sisterhood level defence where they don't want a society that would punish them should they ever do something like that (even if they never actually would, it is a hypothetical possible punishment of a woman for bad behaviour) and dudes that are with girls with a past are lying to themselves about it.

>The other day I randomly asked her what were the most guys she slept with in 24 hours.
You deserved the answer you got.

>>34142389
Do not treat women's sexuality as the same as men's. It isn't and everyone knows this.
>>34142392
People have second thoughts about leaving any relationship unless it was 100% terrible because sex and companionship are massive base level impulses which people crave to satisfy. People who quit drugs also get second thoughts anon. Sex and companionship hits you stronger than almost any normal thing.

>>34142393

> Any girl that does that level of shit at any point is going to be a bad long-term partner.

Can you expand on this?

This was my intuition. During the breakup I told her, I'm happy to continue hooking up with you as FWB, but I don't see a relationship anymore.

But why exactly?

>>34142392
Also if she was "madly in love" she wouldn't have been letting dudes from a bar slam her 7 months after meeting him. She would have obsessed over him and wanted exclusivity, not been acting like many levels of slut above the average non-attached single woman.

Is anon also gross for doing all this shit? Yes. But he is the one asking for advice over what he should personally do about her, not whether being a manwhore was a good choice or respectful to her.

>>34142397
>Is anon also gross for doing all this shit? Yes. But he is the one asking for advice over what he should personally do about her, not whether being a manwhore was a good choice or respectful to her.

I hear you. To defend myself, I could sense that she wasn't attached, and I was like, aight, I'm not gonna pressure her into a relationship. When she's ready, she'll come to me. And in the meantime I'll keep exploring my options. I'm not a hookup type of guy, but I did go on dates with other girls and hook up with some, but didn't like any as much as her, so I dropped them.

And to be clear, I would have had no problem with her exploring her options and going on dates, and maybe hooking up with people. It's just that getting herself fucked by essentially any guy who asks is just cheap AF and cannot be justified with "exploring other options".

Eventually she fell for me and wanted to be exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend.

>>34142396
It is just the way women's sexuality and respect for their bodies' work. From a biological perspective, any sexual encounter a woman has is potential pregnancy, so allowing two random guys from a bar to gang bang you is actually insane behaviour for a woman. Promiscuity is still shitty and bad character for a man but it isn't obviously a life-ruining decision on a biological level because you could just bounce (modern child support stuff is by the by here).

A woman that engages in heavily promiscuous behaviour is essentially overriding all her other sensical and stable female faculties for pure pleasure seeking and changing her brain by telling it "we are living in a promiscuous environment where a reliable stable male partner to look after us and the child is practically impossible, so make sure I don't get too attached emotionally and I am ready to live the single mother life". That is not what you want in a wife, especially one that can up and leave and take half your shit (and your children) simply because she feels like it in the modern world.

You have probably head the retarded redpill manosphere niggas talking about "pair bonding" - it is that kind of sphere. You kind of permanently alter your brain by living a certain way sexually (monogamous/waiting vs casual sex). Some people can manage to walk it back but most people set themselves like that. It is like a dude becoming numb and detached after seeing fucked up shit in war - most men never get that part of themselves back.

For women acting promiscuously sexually, it is a number of levels above because of the obvious biological difference and the mindset required. A dude without modern child-support and tracking stuff could easily dump loads in 100 different women, have 50 children out there and be able to then have a 1-1 wife and have all his resources for her and the kids, a woman, unless she kills the child, is going to be saddled - less attractive to male partners, community burden.

>>34142386
sounds like she wanted to get her last bit of fun in before she spends the rest of her life with the man she loves.

Get back with her. You know exactly how it feels. A lot of guys would do the same thing. Nobody wants to be alone or miss out on things, and having to weigh these two fears is crippling.

Get back with her. Talk with her about it. Try to truly understand. Listen to her.
Become the sexual replacement, let her know that her sex life doesn't end because she gets in a committed relationship.

Don't ruin what you have. You want a long lasting loving relationship? This is how you do it. You get her back right now.

>>34142388
given the opportunity for a FFM threesome, and sex the next day with another woman, you would have done it. you're a hypocrite.
> should i get back with her?
you probably killed it but yes. otherwise you'll be 45 and talk about the good times banging broads, alone.

Idk why I'm even responding this but I guess I will. I fell for a girl really hard, pretty much my exact match after getting out a long term relationship (like 8 years). I had been a big whore for that year, probably slept with at least 25 people or so, but once I got with her I finally felt something again. We were both kind of hypersexual messes of people, I had a few opportunities to sleep with someone in the first month but didn't and she did at some point. (We were never explicitly exclusive even though we were great friends and talked a lot and there was a lot of intimacy and mixed signals). It bothered me and I fucked someone else because she said that was fine, but still it kind of ate at me. I think my point is learn from this and also state your intentions before you can get hurt, you were a dumbass for dating a girl 7 months with no "exclusivity" and then getting pissed, but relationsihps are confusing and hindsight is always a bitch. In my case it was a month and it still bothered me if I was in your shoes that would be a fuck no but you were also sleeping with other people so only you can decide where you draw the line or are okay with, some people absolutely don't give a fuck and some will freak out. You probably know the answer deep down

Fuck you for posting adv shit on here but sluts belong together.

>>34142400
>Don't ruin what you have. You want a long lasting loving relationship? This is how you do it. You get her back right now.

I just seriously don't know if I can look at her the same way. I feel like I'll become resentful and treat her like shit for something she had every right to do.

Also I feel like I'd be ignoring all my gut instincts if I go back with her. My gut screams, dude, this is disgusting, she's fun material only.

Fuck.

>>34142401
>given the opportunity for a FFM threesome, and sex the next day with another woman, you would have done it. you're a hypocrite.

Yeah, 100%.

>>34142404
I was too nice. After reading this bullshit, consider suicide btw. I hate promiscuous people. Stop shitting up the dating pool and stick to your kind

>offtopic thread to tell everyone you're a cuck
KYS, go fulfill your humiliation fetish somewhere else >>>/r9k/ >>>/adv/

>>34142398
It isn't Christian, and I don't approve of it, but I won't pretend what you were doing isn't naturally rational from a simple biological perspective in terms of risk/reward.
>And to be clear, I would have had no problem with her exploring her options and going on dates, and maybe hooking up with people. It's just that getting herself fucked by essentially any guy who asks is just cheap AF and cannot be justified with "exploring other options".
Yes, the level of "random hookups/gangbangs" with strangers is very beyond the pale in terms of most women's behaviour, regardless of what the manosphere incel dudebros say about "all women".

A woman "exploring her options" with off the wall sexuality with strangers is indicative of some deeper psychological issue, especially from a "should I long-term with her" perspective. It is very risky, both from individual bodily risk and societal opinion. Most women would be like "I'm going to stop myself here because this is a bit too far" but she didn't.

>>34142401
>>34142400
Men are not the same as women. Doesn't mean it is "ok" or moral. Certainly poor for someone trying to preach morality to others, but it is not the same. A man that has two women at some point is very different to a woman that gets gang banged by two dudes.
Taught ridiculousness. People very innately know "ah that shit is different" but are unable to explain it, and get taught by society - "these things are the same, men and women are equal, their sexual behaviour should not be judged differently, because they are the same.

Cult mantra.

>>34142404
Sounds like you need to open up to her and be honest with her about something, too.

>>34142407
>Men are not the same as women. Doesn't mean it is "ok" or moral. Certainly poor for someone trying to preach morality to others, but it is not the same. A man that has two women at some point is very different to a woman that gets gang banged by two dudes.
Taught ridiculousness. People very innately know "ah that shit is different" but are unable to explain it, and get taught by society - "these things are the same, men and women are equal, their sexual behaviour should not be judged differently, because they are the same.

That's not what this is about. I'm not denying that. But if you truly love your partner, you listen to them no matter if they are a male or female. It just doesn't matter. The ways of this world do not last, so if you want your relationship to last, you can't follow what you are told by the world.

I don't mean to make a personal attack, but I cannot see someone like you holding a truly happy, blessed, sanctimonious relationship with someone you love for a long time. Nobody is happy being held on probation.

OP if you think you can find a better girl, who will not take whatever she can get before she is taken off the market for good, then by all means, go find that more pure and well-behaved woman you had in mind.

But the clock is ticking. How old are you? How much longer do you have left? Always something to think about.

You can keep searching, or you can feel blessed with what you have. There is no right or wrong answer.

>>34142386
This is a reasonable reaction. However, you are retarded for wanting hookups before you became exclusive.
A girl who sluts out like that in one night before becoming your gf is not worth keeping around. But seriously fix yourself and your priorities before dating again for Venus' sake

>>34142410
I'm 31. Yeah I realize the clock is ticking.

I mean it's not just that she's a slut, but I'm literally taking the slut on romantic sunset dates the week after she's got a train run on her. That feels fucking terrible. I feel like, how can I look at myself in the mirror?

If, hypothetically, I was tagteaming a girl, and asked her after I came on her face, "so is there anyone you're dating right now?" And she's like, "yeah there's this guy I've been seeing for 4 months. He's putting in a lot of effort and taking me on these really nice dates lol. I'll actually see him next week. I hope he never finds out about this haha." I'd think to myself, damn, what a poor sucker. Sucks to be him.

And now I'd be choosing voluntarily to be a sucker? That feels messed up.

>>34142409
Your wife coming to you with bad things she has done and listening to her is context dependant. "I killed someone" vs "I cheated on our honeymoon" vs "I was sexually abused" vs "I stole money from you" vs "I have been unsatisfied" vs "I used to sleep with random guys" vs "I wasn't a virgin because some ass tricked me when I was younger" are all different aren't they? Whether or not you would be ok continuing a relationship with someone, how you would deal with it etc.... If my wife cam to me with any of these ofc I would listen and understand, but does not mean I would have the same response to them all.

Remember that this isn't just "was this morally ok for her to do?" it is "does this reveal a flaw in character" and "what does this mean in terms of how our life will be together"?

The sexual abuse one is a good example. Entirely not her fault and yet it could mean that your relationship may have trouble. Some people who are sexually abused end up with lasting mental/sex/relationship issues that as a partner you will have to deal with. You have to make the decision whether you are willing and able to handle that, and be aware that it could blow up later because her abuse issues lead her to dysfunction which she will never manage to work through (for some people they are fucked for life). You get no special points for a woman who ends up cheating on your and breaking your marriage because of her sexual trauma when she was molested as a child so ended up trying to replicate abuse patterns even though she didn't want to.

It is not a happy or fair truth, but it is one for a lot of people. When making a rational relationship decision for life (which is the most important decision you will ever make in terms of your long term happiness) it is important to think coldly about it. The world is full of men that didn't and ruined their lives over it.

"but at least you tried" - worthless.

>>34142386
did she get ass fucked?

>>34142391
>I just don't want to feel like the guy who wifes up the ho nobody else wants.

this is the problem. You're extremely concerned about narratives. What story will people tell about you and her?
If you are truly in a happy relationship none of it will matter. You can write the story.
Of course though I know if you are young, these things matter very much to you.

>>34142412
Yeah, it feels terrible. I know. It fucking sucks. And she needs to know how much that sucks. You need to be telling her this, not just me. You are just a man who loved and lost, why would there be any shame in that? It's a tale as old as time. Find me a man who hasn't loved and gotten burnt.

You are what you narrate yourself to be. If being a sucker is the story you want to stick with, then by all means, stick with that story. If you decide this cannot be fixed, then move on. There is no right or wrong answer for you.

>>34142413
Man none of this matters.
Context dependent? I guess some people love hard and some people don't. If my boyfriend told me he did something very bad, I would listen. Maybe I just love really hard and some people don't. Any way you sound very personally invested in this moral argument, so I can't really say anything in response to you, ultimately your life is up to you, you have every right to live how you feel.

>You get no special points for sticking with a woman despite getting burnt
Is that what you're looking for?
Then absolutely, get the fuck out.
But these things just don't last. Nobody is going to keep score when you are 71 years old and can't walk. Nobody is going to remember whether you were a chad or a cuck, you'll be just another old man to all the hot sexy people, doing the same thing we are doing now, discussing promiscuity.
Relationships are not about points, if you want any special points, don't love a person. You won't get glory for loving someone, that's not how love works. It's dirty work, and be grateful if you get a thank you.

>>34142409
>People very innately know "ah that shit is different" but are unable to explain it
Women are the primary sexual selectors for our species, because of their long vulnerable pregnancies, they naturally evolved to be discerning. Men are much less selective sexually, and because of that, you are far more likely to find a man wanting to have sex than a woman. This is why gay men have such high body counts.
So if a man can charm many women into sleeping with him, it's because he has some universally attractive quality. A woman who sluts it with many men is seen as cheap because she is not discerning.
People who are promiscuous tend to be habitually promiscuous, and for a woman that means there is a risk that her baby was fathered by someone who is not her bf/husband and a man is hard wired to fear/respond negatively to that. Societies before paternity tests put such a huge emphasis on female virginity because of this issue. In fact, newborn babies tend to resemble their fathers in appearance as a survival mechanism to receive parental care

>>34142415
>Context dependent? I guess some people love hard and some people don't. If my >boyfriend told me he did something very bad, I would listen. Maybe I just love really hard and some people don't. Any way you sound very personally invested in this moral argument, so I can't really say anything in response to you, ultimately your life is up to you, you have every right to live how you feel.

You are a woman then? Yes, this is a normal and healthy response from a woman. You don't have to see things from a male perspective and it probably doesn't help you to. You sound like a good woman so don't listen to the things I have to say. Men are cold and rational and cynical. Women are wonderful and warm and naively optimistic. Men have to have this kind of mindset, and you don't. It wouldn't be fair to ask you to have it either.

But for OP, bro, don't take advice from a woman on this, you know it is a different perspective with its own good insight and flaws from varying angles.

This logic is the logic of a man that forgives his wife for cuckolding him, a man that doesn't respect himself, and a man respected by no one, neither his wife, nor any man whose esteem is worth having. Also the logic of a woman that stays with her husband that beats her, because she frames it up in a nice little narrative for herself. I pity those women. That kind of loyalty is wasted on scum that abuse their wives.

>>34142417
No.
It is the logic of a man.. ah, hell...

No, dude. It's just not. I don't know how to explain this to you.
Look, I'm a christian. You just aren't understanding. I appreciate you giving me credit for being a woman on this issue, but this isn't about gender, I really wish I could get this across to you.

I understand the fears of men. The fear of not being respected, by his peers, or those close to him. The fear of having no cards in life. But these are mortal fears, worldly fears, do you understand? Love, the kind that lasts, does not let these things call the shots. Love calls it's own shots.

If you find it to not be a good fit for you, that's perfectly fine. But the narrative you are creating is all inside of your head. You make that narrative. Others may say it, but it is up to you to agree with it, and it seems to clearly have, which is fine. But you're just not getting it. The point I'm making has nothing to do with narratives.

>>34142416
...Gay men have high bodycounts because nobody loves them. They get love from sex to keep their self esteem up. They are woman-brained. At least the ones you are talking about, the hollywood kind. I don't think it's because they are men. It's beside the issue, anyway, isn't it?

I get the point you're making, locks and keys. But..... again, my point still stands. There is no right or wrong answer. I understand the locks and keys, but this is a personal matter at the end of the day.

So, you had a conversation in which the two of you discussed whether it was okay for the both of you to fuck other people. You told her it was okay. You fucked other women yourself. She fucked other guys BECAUSE YOU TOLD HER IT WAS OKAY. (She wouldn't have if you'd said it wasn't). It turns out you were lying to her, and it wasn't okay. Because she didn't realise you were lying to her, you broke up with her and destroyed her life. Literally the only thing she did wrong was not realising you were lying to her. And for that, you broke up with her.

Honestly, that is despicable behaviour; really despicable. On top of that, you freely admit that you would have done EXACTLY THE SAME yourself if you had had the opportunity, and that you are a blazing hypocrite.

I seriously don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror after this. No, don't get back together with her - *she* deserves better than you. In future, don't tell women that something is okay if it's not okay; don't get mad at someone for doing something you said was okay; and don't ask questions if you can't handle hearing the answer. You need to do some serious soul-searching.

>inb4 dumb roastie whore
I'm a guy, but whatever.