I have sent a letter to a former ex partner that I would like to reconnect as amicable acquaintances, and/or get closure from, because the breakup was horrible. I was in a good headspace and I think I expressed my thoughts okay when I wrote it. Of course it was IRL and our parents were involved, but hers did not particularly like me, but for the sake of the post, give me the benefit of the doubt that they did not had serious reasons to not like me... We were both the same age and working university students, but we lived 3 hours away by public transport.Now, during the breakup, I had some bad things done and said to me. At the time, I was in shock, and could only respond with "okay", "okay", "if that is how you feel", "please don't do this". I was very passive and idiotic. In summary she said she never loved me and that regrets everything, etc. Days after she said she did not mean it and that she was sorry, and days after she blocked me again.I tried to reach her back then, emails and whatnot, I visited her house, I asked her mother how to talk to her, it all failed. Since then I have focused as much as I can on school, work, and becoming more social, because I had lost contact with most of my friends being with her. She would get angry when other people had bonds with me. She ghosted all of my attempts. I have been doing better on my own, but it still does not leave my mind.(1/2)
If this month finishes without a response, I am going to be sad. I never want to go to that house again no matter what, and I do not want to put anyone through it to speak on my part. Literally, what can I do? Send another letter?I would appreciate in particular, responses from people who are receiving letters or unwanted attention from people they don't like, because I am afraid this is what I am to her. I have no idea how she thinks of me. She was very cyclothymic while we were together and it was unpredictable if one day she would love or hate me. I stuck around because it was my first love.A happy ending of the form: "I hope you do well, even if we do not get to speak again", would mean a lot. I was hit with a brick wall in all of my last attempts and it sucks so much. It is even more embarrassing to write about. I understand that if I ignore it and continue trying to do well it's all going to pass, but for the plot of my life, I do not want to remember such bad things about the first person I truly trusted.(2/2)
>>34143509>If this month finishes without a response, I am going to be sad.>Literally, what can I do? Send another letter?Absolutely not. You shouldn't have sent the first letter. The girl made her stance clear by blocking you, and if attempts after that didn't work, there's nothing you can do. Let it go and move on. People aren't going to be in your life forever, no matter how much you want them to be. You have to learn to accept that.
>>34143505My man, you need to accept it's completely finished and just move on. It sucks ass I know and I've been through it myself, but you can't make her talk to you if she doesn't want to. I don't know how long ago this happened to you but it's going to take a few weeks or months to get over it, so focus on other shit and forget about it.
>>34143505>>34143509This sounds autistically obsessive and stalkerish. What does it take for you to get the hint?
>>34143524Considering they're both uni students, chances are this was his first serious relationship and he's not handling the breakup well. She also sounds a little BPD which doesn't help.
Some people are just fucking assholes, it's too badBerate/lambast them while you can>"I hope you do well, even if we do not get to speak again"They don't deserve this and you know itChange it toI hope you do terribly and bye Felicia And you're solid
>>34143519A few weeks or months? I only write this because it has been a year and a lot of things in my environment have changed.>>34143524For the sake of privacy I left out important information. But here:1) What got me the idea to write the letter is people from her city viewing my Linkedin account as a private viewer out of nowhere. I do not know anyone there. We had no mutual friends. This was disturbing.2) We were used to sending dozens of letters often. It is not an unusual move.3) She has come to my house when I had told her I needed space and we had lost contact / blocked each other and amended things.4) She has also kept some of my personal belongings that she promised to give back but never did.Even without the above, why do you use words like obsessive and stalkerish like it is nothing? Stalking is a criminal offense in a lot of places. You can not "block" someone online that you on and off live together in real life with and then expect them to disappear forever. People are not files on a computer. I don't know if you said it as a joke but it's on par with saying that greeting strangers is sexual harassment. Like what? What used to be socially normal is changing drastically it seems.>>34143536Yes.>>34143547It is hard to function like this. I live without grudges for people. It is liberating to forgive.
>>34143556>it has been a year>and then expect them to disappear forever. People are not files on a computer.But that's the way life works. Things change, people leave. Even if they were friends or more.You need to let go.
>>34143556>liberating to forgive.Not when the person doesn't deserve forgiveness and you're mental gymnasticking til your brain is in sore contortions trying to make a terrible person who treated you like dirt seem "alright"Tell their mother/whatever/bump into the person themselves to send the message that they're a coward and you will not miss them
>A happy ending of the form: "I hope you do well, even if we do not get to speak again"Omega LOL btw
