how I failed her.She loved me so much and wanted to get married, and I fucked up.How do you get over guilty feelings and shame?
>>34145157>How do you get over guilty feelings and shame?You don't, and you shouldn't. The day you stop feeling guilty about it is the day you do the same thing again. It's essential that you keep feeling guilt and shame forever; they will make you a better person.
>titleThat's the time you specified that you miss her
>>34145163So I should receive emotional capital punishment?She moved on. She is happy. She is married. Maybe she even has a baby now. She does not think about me.So I should just become a BITCH?
>>34145183You sound like you're being a little bitch.
>>34145157Get another woman who's even better than her. No woman is special.
>>34145183You already are a bitch. But yes: you should keep feeling guilty forever. That is the only thing that will stop you from doing the same thing again.
Mine is worth everything to me. I'm fortunate that she still does love me. She has not moved on. She's not married. And she's very much not happy. She said so to me not too long ago when she told me she was so sorry and she wish she had chosen me then and she's going to do better. She also does not look healthy and has not mentally been well. She's in a shit situation and she's looking for a way out. And that's not all
>>34145199Fuck you. "/adv/" my ass>>34145202I don't want to compare others to her for the rest of my life.. how do I just let go? I miss the old me who didn't constantly long for her...I am idealizing her. I am 100% self aware. Yet I can't let go? HOW do I let go?>>34145207Don't project your emotional hurt on me. I didn't even do anything. She is happy. Don't be more upset than she is...
>>34145233>I don't want to compare others to her for the rest of my life.. how do I just let go? I miss the old me who didn't constantly long for her...>I am idealizing her. I am 100% self aware. Yet I can't let go? HOW do I let go?There are techniques for that.
>>34145221>And he calls me a bitchSo much fortune for you and yet you're here instead of with her
>>34145233Fuck your larp. Thread hidden. I choose her over your lies and attempts to manipulate emotions and perceivements of others. No wonder she feels suffocated there and is working out timing to leave
>>34145236I have gone through therapy and learned ACT. I've had success with letting go of other things but those times, I've had to dig deep to understand the feeling. I never just sat with it. I had to describe what I was afraid of, and then sit with that.I will give this a go. Do I not need to label the fear that I resist? Because I've "sat with this feeling" for a very long time now, it doesn't go away.I close my eyes and feel the feeling. Then I surely must explain what I am afraid of? "I lost her"? And sit with that?This is the thing I've struggled for a long time. I don't know what I feel. I don't know why I can't let go. I didn't "lose her" because I never wanted her as much as I want her now. I increasingly idealize her. At the time, she was just another person.So I continue thinking, it was the idea that I hurt her and pushed her away that hurt me so much. Then I think about what she representsEtcI've done this process so many times. I don't know what the fuck I'm feeling, so I end up feeling limerence, and just sitting with this limerence doesn't make it go away?
>>34145237Soon I will be with her. :)
I'm exhausted. I understand why people lose their minds.
>>34145251>Because I've "sat with this feeling" for a very long time now, it doesn't go away.That's the thing, you're trying to make it go away. That resistance is what prolongs it.
>>34145270But I do not know what I feel and I refuse to accept that I have such strong feelings for her. I do not know what I feel.I feel guilt and shame. That's what I can remember now. From that guilt and shame came feelings of desire, from idealization. I remember how she wanted to marry me and I didn't want to marry then. I'm constantly thinking about marriage and her now.These feelings are all symptoms and I refuse to accept that I've become a bitch. There has got to be something else underneath?Think for example if your parents abuse you. Now you feel afraid of them. Would the solution be to "sit with the fear" or would it serve you better to know why you feel afraid and sit with that? Maybe the latter helps you confront them. "I am afraid of the belt, not of them."But when I try to do that, I can't get to the bottom of what I feel.Am I on the right or wrong track? What do you think?
>>34145278Knowing what you feel usually means locating a sensation that's somewhere in the body. For me any kind of heartbreak usually is in the heart or behind the eyes, or in the stomach and groin.>would it serve you better to know why you feel afraid and sit with that? That kind of analyzing tends to happen by itself, but it can also be a form of rumination that doesn't do anything. I noticed that this dies down over time anyway.
>>34145278I'll have to say this in a way you actually hear me >I'm constantly thinking about marriage and her now *every time I jerk offWrong track. She deserves better. But you didn't make this post to ask for advice If it's idealization then it's not about her, you don't care about her, it's about you and others not doing what you want. You went on a tangent about the belt and the dog, but really all that is is you unable to accept accountability and blaming it on others When you don't get the advice you want to hear, You just give it to yourself like here. You don't listen and you don't care too.
And then when you get that advice you're just going to tell me how I don't understand then rambling with context and making excuses (really quite amazing how no one understands, so weird that It just so happens to be every person). Eventually when I repeat what I said because your comments don't make a difference to what actually happened and your inability to take accountability, you're going to get upset grumpy and say that it's on me and not your fault, then you do the same behavior as before until the next person is sick of you
>>34145157How do I obtain a download for CrushCorp?
>>34145157>how I failed her.>She loved me so much and wanted to get married, and I fucked up.>>34145233>I didn't even do anything.Make your fucking mind up.
Something I do know is she is not happy
>>34145521Kek. This >>34145157Stop living in the past. Try and be a better person, pray, set goals for yourself and focus on being better. Also, stop jerking off
