Me and my parents want to get back into church. I'm all for this because I think faith and the community that a church provides, when done right, can change a person for the better. We haven't been to church for over 16 years and we don't know where to start. Our extended family is very religious, but they are also gossipy and two faced and have caused so much family problems that we are very hesitant to just join any church. What we want is a church that fits the following criteria>Isn't zogged>Isn't ran by people lining their pockets>Isn't ran by retards who think dinosaurs are fake or that evolution is a grand lie>Will not lie by telling us homosexuality is not to be discouraged>Will not also lie by telling us that we should hate gays and abandon our loved ones if they come out>Doesn't engage in MAGA worship>Is charitable>Is attended by people who are nice and are willing to help their fellow manWe live near Detroit Michigan if that makes it helps
>>34146986>>Will not lie by telling us homosexuality is not to be discouraged>>Will not also lie by telling us that we should hate gays and abandon our loved ones if they come outYou've just eliminated 100% of the choices.
>>34146986Maybe greek ones where they study the original meanings and don't fall into those common misunderstanding traps. >Isn't zoggedSmaller ones are usually zog free. >Isn't ran by people lining their pocketsHard to notice, maybe check out the priests' car and watch. >Isn't ran by retards who think dinosaurs are fake or that evolution is a grand lieJust avoid megachurches or all old people ones. >Will not lie by telling us homosexuality is not to be discouragedAvoid megachurches or ones with rainbow flags. >Will not also lie by telling us that we should hate gays and abandon our loved ones if they come outHarder to figure out, idk. >Doesn't engage in MAGA worshipAvoid ones with USA flags. >Is charitableFind out if they have a charity drive/soup kitchen. >Is attended by people who are nice and are willing to help their fellow manThey exist but usually are only willing to help a newbie if you're the same ethnicity as them. Ex. Russian orthodox church if you're Russian.
>>34146986Maybe Methodists (the conservative ones, especially Holiness movement), I find them to be very nice and also involved in the community.I'm a Catholic, but I hate to say that the quality of people in the church isn't greatz lots of gossiping. Heard the same is true for Orthodox because the Church is simultaneously an ethnic social club full of bitchy people that grew up together
You're not going to find a church that exactly fits your exact moral framing and isn't pandering to try to drain your money or grow a cult. Even within a single denomination there will be diversity of opinions and gossipy coffee group chatter about how they don't like the new priest/pastor's sermon on X. That's fine. That means they care enough about their thought process and their community to discuss important topics, and they trust their community well enough not to sugarcoat or politely shrug off topics like it's a workplace water cooler where religion and politics and morality discussions are verboten. You're stepping into a gathering of dozens or hundreds of people with hundreds of opinions, you will see some churn.I go to an Episcopal church. It's reasonable. I was raised Catholic, and my entire family is Catholic, but I stopped going due to 1) one angry guy in one IRC channel kicking me out due to my insistence that other faiths have some grounding, 2) the whole kid-touching thing went without accountability, 3) I'm a fucking closet case. But that's not to say the churches themselves are places I'd avoid.Shop around.
>>34146986*obligatory not-really-saint disclaimer>Protestants seem the most miserable despite being the seemingly most down to Earth denomination on paper(?). I thought they'd be the easiest for all the criteria, but it really varies. (Grew up mostly attending black churches if it gives a better idea of what I've seen)>Judeo-christain is a bit brighter than protestants, but hella more political than human. I'd only suggest this (meaning last resort) if you reach the point you decide to give up pork after reading Acts, tried methodist, and like the idea of judaism where Jesus is the savior they're waiting on (Fellowship church thing)>The catholic part of my family seem a LOT happier and charitable than the protestant part, but I see them a lot less often then protestant side (not for religious reasons though, the house I grew up in was protestant so I saw protestant family more often. Mexican part of the family)>Haven't been in other denominations, but islam is no-go on homo I know that>near Detroit MichiganSame. I might need the help and I wanna be happy
Catholic or Anglican, IMHO
I've given up myself and am trying to get along with the rainbow-flying, dinosaur skeptical, zogged neighbors.
>>34146986Oh, I thought you were worried about *actual* snakes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_handling_in_Christianity
>>34146986Go church-shopping.It's a perfectly legitimate process. Just visit a different church near you each Sunday until you hit one you feel comfortable with. You can even tell them that's what you're doing - they won't be offended.
>>34146986I’m a Catholic. Based on your criteria, I can only think of three denominations that fit. >Catholicism>Orthodoxy>LutheranismI begrudgingly put Lutheranism on that list, but I have to be charitable and not lie, Lutherans are probably the strongest of the protestant denominations, they still keep many of the old traditions and despite their heretical differences, they still at least take the faith seriously.
>>34146986>>Isn't ran by retards who think dinosaurs are fake or that evolution is a grand lieGood goy
>>34146986I'd say Catholicism or Orthodoxy seem to be in ur criteria
>>34146986Pretty much all Protestant denominations are Zionist and so is Roman Catholicism, so your best best is to come to terms with homosexuality being sin and become Eastern Orthodox. My ROCOR church has been very generous in helping me and many others for free, and I'm not even Russian.
