>Mid 20's >no friends outside of work>no friends to hang out w/ after work>severe anxiety in public spaces>often feeling like people are watching/judging me>Decide to "self-improve">work out>get job where I'm exposed to socializing daily>try my best to follow through on things I say I'll do>get girl's number through work friend>talking to girl for six months over text>ask her to hang out twice despite social issues>both times she makes some excuse last minute>has not initiated a convo once in the six months we spoke over text>have finally come to the conclusion she wants nothing to do with me after wasting 6 months.I have spoken with many women before, but it never gets past the talking stage, and I never get choosing signals.when I experience social defeat, I tend to self-isolate, self-medicate, and ultimately my social skills revert to zero and I miss opportunities in my life. I feel myself starting that cycle again, I'm running out of motivation.Two Questions:1. If a girl hasn't even shown attraction to me and I'm in my mid 20's, am I a failed normie and is it over?2. How to avoid falling into depression and self-isolation when you constantly fail to be where you want to be at a certain age?
_One_ person ghosting you does not mean you are a failure. 'Severe anxiety in public spaces' usually points to social anxiety which is usually rooted in fear of rejection. Let's say she rejected you. That isn't something you have control over, and it may be for reasons entirely unrelated to you as a person or as a perception. What was the damage, exactly, to your self-respect? You're here whining on an anonymous imageboard. Anything else?
state mandated gf lmao
>>34149327and a good d-day to you!
>>34149369I am not unaware that I fear rejection.I also said that no one wants me around.Friends, family, colleagues, all gone when you aren't what they want you to be.And when you try to meet new people, they ghost you.Why does no one want to stay around, even when I try to be friendly and put on a happy face?
>>34149327>Am I a failed normie?>Mid 20's>no friends outside of work>no friends to hang out w/ after workSo, that's a solid "No" already. failed normie means you had a thriving social life at least and even a girlfriend or two but you dropped out of that rat race to become a shut-in instead.>have finally come to the conclusion she wants nothing to do with me after wasting 6 months.Never look at it as wasting time, it was a practice run for flirting with the next girl that comes around.Same with when you inevitably go on dates that don't amount to anything, no second date no nothing. The biggest stick in the mud for shut-ins and incels or failed normie whatever you want to call yourself is looking at the dating process like some sort of terrible ordeal and necessary evil that you have to struggle through and then feel cheated and that you wasted your time when you don't get sex or a gf out of it every single time.You should be happy to text with a girl, or to go out to the movies or talk about books at a cafe or whatever the date might be.Same with making friends actually.>>34149635>Friends, family, colleagues, all gone when you aren't what they want you to be.what is this riddle, what is it that you think they want you to be that you're not, or pretending to be?>Why does no one want to stay around, even when I try to be friendly and put on a happy face?probably that you're trying to shove your square peg in a round hole and trying to normiemaxx too hard putting on a fake face to people you don't really care about pretending to talk about sports or whatever instead if video games or whatever you're into that they're not.
>>34149327Pic is so sweet how could you ever even touch her?
>>34149674What if I'm into weeb stuff but I hate weebs?
>>34149327>talking to girl for six months over textThis is a mistake. Make plans over text and execute. Not this long running text conversation thing. Take that as a lesson>No friendsThis is the thing that needs addressing the most. If you are alone and accustomed to being alone (I have been there, well into my mid 20s) the sting of rejection will have a much larger impact on your psyche. Every bit of attention feels like the world to you and you cling on to it for dear life, then crash out and self destruct when you lose it.You need to have boys in your corner my man. Whatever really interests you, whether it's gaming, or a sport, or whatever, try to find people who get together to do it. If you are having trouble, might I recommend finding a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym?You have to take the first step, that's the hard pill to swallow. It's not high school or college anymore where people are placed in a room with you and have to try to like you, so you make friends naturally. You have to be the one to put yourself in situations where friendship can happen. It will take time and you will not see results immediately. But don't go dating women when you are so vulnerable, because there is no beast that walks the Earth with such ferocity and cruelty as a woman in the face of a weak man. You will be emasculated and destroyed. Find your circle of friends first and develop outcome independence.Just trust me dude I've been in your EXACT situation, it gets better if you do the right things starting now.
>>34152111What if I'm afraid of humans, what then
>>34149674>Never look at it as wasting timefair, I try to see things as a learning experience. I was just feeling hopeless last night>what is this riddle, what is it that you think they want you to be Well I didn't accept my father's alcoholism so he tried to fight me,My mother resents me for not stepping up to pay her mortgage after she kicked my father out.My friends abandoned me because the crossdresser, porn addict of the group got offended over a joke.>>34152111>Make plans over text and execute. Not this long running text conversation thing. Take that as a lessonLesson learned.>You have to take the first step, that's the hard pill to swallow.Yeah, I know...I was interested in boxing for self-defense, health, and confidence, but ironically, I am afraid of getting hit in the face and making a fool of myself, so I haven't gone through with it. It's relieving to hear someone understand your problem and offer wisdom with hindsight, so thank you.I may just hobby-maxx at his point. I want to paint model kits, and there's hobby shop teaching people how to, so I'll check that out and meet some people.
>>34152485>My friends abandoned me because the crossdresser, porn addict of the group got offended over a joke.how long ago was this?>>34152039You can't really have it both ways, I think you're mostly projecting or doing sour grapes or some other psychological term. I used to be the same where I would walk past the nerd club rooms or something in school and on campus and see and hear them loudly laughing and screaming epic memes at each other and I'd just be like>huh... look at those LOSER NERDS having fun with each other that's so CRINGEand then go eat lunch all alone by myself
>>34152677almost 2 years atpfunnily, I see them like and repost stuff they would have given me shit for 2 years ago.They were really just low iq, cowardly social conformists and I concluded they were holding me back from being myself.
>>34152677>You can't really have it both waysI like anime but dislike most of the freaks at the anime cons. I can have it both ways.
>>34149327Failed normalfags usual come to this website so yes you are
>>34149369Rejection is often more traumatizing than rape. Stop rejection victim shaming. Nobody wants to go through that again.
>>34155302Are those who never come to 4chan failed autists?
