I'm not an alcoholic by any means, but I'd probably say I suffer from a pretty decent amount of social anxiety. Whenever I'm hanging out with a friend or a group of friends, I feel the compulsion to drink because I feel as though I'm much more open and funny while I'm drunk as opposed to being sober.When I wake up in the morning, I don't typically get a traditional hangover, but I do feel this sense of shame, as if I made an ass of myself, or as if my friends are judging me for "having" to do this. But even asking my friends if I'm being a burden after the fact, I'm always told that I'm a "blast" and it's clear that they like hanging out with me. I can't really say that I've made any "mistakes" being drunk so the shame feels illogical and misplaced.I really hate having all of this self doubt about myself. In an ideal world, I wouldn't have to drink at all to feel comfortable socializing, but that's just not the world that I live in. I've been using alcohol as a crutch to enhance my time with my friends and enhance my social skills. At the very least, I don't feel like I should feel shame constantly for it, being that no one I hang out with, no matter their level of "classiness" takes issue with it. On the other end of the spectrum, I hang out with friends who do much worse than I do, and I don't think they feel any shame about it.Maybe the problem extends beyond alcohol, but how do I stop feeling shame after what is generally otherwise a good time out with friends? I just want to feel like I can relax and get out of my own fucking head.
IKTF. Alcohol is a depressant and amplifies your anxiety. You'll forget about all this in a few days. Best advice I can give is to have no more than 2 drinks, if any. Took me a long time (I'm nearly 40) to not only understand this, but do it. Don't be me, and change now.
>>34170469>change nowHow did that change look for you? If you lived like I did for the most part when hanging out with your friends, did you just decide one day to start hanging out with them sober? Did you lose friends because of that?I think maybe another fear of mine is that I'd be too boring to hang out with sober, and as a result I'd lose friends. You could argue that maybe they wouldn't be real friends to begin with if that were the case, but still, I just feel like I've cemented myself into this reputation of being the "fun drunk guy" despite it not feeling like that the day after.
>>34170488Almost all of my friends did the same so it wasn't an issue. Age was probably a factor though. More food for thought: if they're only friends if you're all drunk, the relationships may not be worth all that much. Using alcohol as a clutch for social anxiety will prevent you from dealing with it proper. And finally: would you respect a friend that stopped drinking a lot? If so, why do you assume your friends will not?
>>34170508I suppose I only have one friend that I'd describe as a "drinking buddy". Apart from that, the majority of my other friends are mostly straight-edge. Think married conservative dudes who don't feel uncomfortable bringing their wives along to hang and shoot the shit.I certainly wouldn't dump any of my friends outright for drinking less, although I can't imagine I'd be the same guy without drinking. The same energy, the same lack of inhibitions, the same ability to just live in the moment.I guess you're right in that it'd probably be best to just sober up and try and still be myself in these situations, but as you can probably imagine, it's very easy to reach for the bottle when you're feeling a bit disconnected/in your own head.
>>34170546You could go play sports or whatever with your drinking buddy, see if you can maintain buddy status while pivoting away from binge drinking. And you're absolutely right: it is easy to reach for the bottle. I still do, mostly when alone, but now I make sure to only have 1 or 2 beers in the fridge. Makes it much easier to prevent fucking up.
