My life is the story of trying my best, being able to do things well, but fucking up to the point where the end result is only 'satisfactory'. Work as esg consultant. >Thought my company was ok, slave consulting/slide deck mill but ok, pays average I guess>my manager legitimately lied to stonewall my promotion. Said gaps between promotions was minimum 18 months, and said the best we could work towards was a pay raise. >Turns out that was a fucking lie, multiple other people got promoted this round only 9 and 12 months into their role. I'm at 15+ Job hunting>Get a lot because I'm qualified massively on paper, but my AuDHDness turns a lot of people off even with practice and masking. Plenty of final rounds where I 'just didn't vibe' Dating>I've had relationships before, but it's been about 2 years since my last serious gf>Plenty of dates and short term relationships since, but they were either not a match emotionally, or didn't want to have sex (this is a big issue for me as I have a high libido)>dating new girls is draining due to the tism due to meeting new people even if I'm authentic, so I have on/off seasons. >currently at the end of an on season as I'm burnt out from the girl who I thought was based>she used me to get off, but basically just ghosted me after date 6 even though her entire schtick was 'I am serious and intentional with my dating' >I've worked a ton on self improvement but it's demoralising to know that I have to put so much work in just to get the same experience as other people
>>34179583Sounds rough. What kind of advice were you looking for exactly?
cont. Home>older sister lets me live with her for free now (I paid a fair bit of her mortgage over the last 2 years as rent). >Family pressures me to live with her (we're Chinese). >sis is a fundamentalist Christian so I'm fucked if I try to bring a girl home even if my autistic ass can pull a girl>sister is a former schizo and is a control freak. She tries to be nice, but I can never really relax properly in my own house>old flatmate who was chill moved out>parents getting old, and into quack medicine (they think traditional Chinese herbs and shit will cure all ailments). They're fine now, but it's an escalating riskStartup shit>wrote multiple scientific whitepapers in my unique field, possibly one of the first 50 or so people in the world to talk about this, but have no idea how to get business out of it even though I've tried going to conferences and had a few convos with people about it >can't convey myself properly despite getting sales training for myself>trying to apply to fellowships to get funding for self projects>trying to apply to accelerators to get this started but tism makes for a bad combo with a lot of these. Plus see all of the above, am burnt out.Friends mostly moved out of London. I still miss my ex from 2 years ago. Honestly I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I know I'm more blessed than a lot of people. But I still feel trapped and like I'm drowning. I just want a normal, stable life, with a normal stable partner who I have chemistry with.
>>34179589Sorry, I had a pt two being written up. I guess general advice on how to cope I guess. Even targeted advice towards dealing with one of these problem areas would be appreciated anon. I genuinely feel ahedonistic. Nothing brings me much joy anymore, other than fantasies that my crypto moons and I can retire. It's like I know I have the skills and motivation to deal with each item one at a time, but it's all at the same time
I feel like a fucking sexless, useless wagie chud who's good for nothing because I can't balance all aspects of my life like an adult. Wtf do I even do? I'm this close to going to a hooker again just to feel something
>>34179583I won't read venting threads. Ask for advice next time.
