I'm not last place, I'm not even in the race
Fuck my chungus life

It doesn't matter.

All of this is bullshi

Fucking hell. I feel like shit. I'm supposed to have a job interview in 43 minutes. I'm sick and I have nothing formal to wear since I can barely get myself to leave the house to buy anything. My old clothes don't fit me since I'm underweight now, I've been eating less and less

I feel horribly tired and dizzy. Haven't eaten or drank anything today. I don't even want to go at this point

I'm gonna be 30 this year and I have done absolutely nothing with my life post bachelor's degree. I've applied to 15 different jobs and haven't even gotten a single rejection letter email, just ghosting.
I'm more worried about my heart health however because my father recently had a stent put in his body and since my grandfather had a double bypass surgery before dying I will more than likely have heart problems in my lifetime too.
I keep feeling random chest pain in my left chest from time to time and I'm not sure if it's stress or if my artery is actually clogged.
I guess if I collapse one day I'll know for sure but for now I'm starting to cut back on sugar coffee and eating more spinach and kale. God be damned if I die before 50.

>>34209764
I just want to fucking die. I NEED to work to help my family pay rent, I still have money from my last job and I've been helping with that money. God also told me I can't kill myself, and I do feel morally obligated not to. I just don't have any will to live or do anything beyond feeling like I NEED to. Everything feels horrible. I feel horrible. Even doing the bare minimum feels difficult now

I don't think I can even drive right now I feel too tired and sick. I hate this. I hate that I'm not helping more. I wish I could just stop existing with no problems

I'm not giving up. Never have, never will.

I will get back in shape. I will succeed at the exams that terrify me. I will get the life I dream of.

All I have to do is continue with my current path, one day at a time. I have been in worse shit than this

>>34209764
>>34209783
hahahahahaha

tfw no one will ever fall in love with me and i will be a bummy loser girl who worked herself to the bone just to be discarded, disregarded and overall never good enough.
i have accepted this and have reached a point where i am just living, now.

>>34209799
This

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my stupid fucking dumb ass and my stupid fucking big mouth

I feel like I don't know how to talk with my coworkers. While I'm very chill and stoic about almost everything else, I am very anxious about my professional performance (yes it's stupid), and I do feel like I'm underqualified for my position. Any negative comment I ever get about it makes me genuinely get a cold sweat and start pseudo-plotting my own death. How do people do this man... Don't really wanna kill myself (good) but then I have to deal with these feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and anxiety at work forever (bad).

Im so fucking close to cheating on my gf with this girl that meets my kinks one on one. fml

Half the shady shit was thrown at you in the meeting
You're time is coming

>>34209877
at least you have a job, dude.
i haven't been able to get any more than one to two days at most for the past almost year now.
technically i am "employed" at like 20 different businesses but so far none have called me for work...

It was really funny to threaten her with calling the police

What I'm doing everyday benefits me immensely and if I feel like I'm falling and don't want to move I need to keep moving because it benefits her just as much.

>>34209889
That's true. I'm sorry, I know I come off as "privileged". I can't help this stupid anxiety, it really makes me feel like shit for no reason, but rationally I do know I am very lucky.
Hope job searching gets easier, anon, that shit is tough.

I got diagnosed with Crohn's disease last year after i was going through a terrible flare for almost half a year which everyone at first telling me its in my fucking head. Joke on them, I was hospitalized for it later. Now i have been on humira for a year and i thought my life is back to normal, but NO, now im dealing with fuckin psioraris everywhere as a side effect of this damn biologika and i went to so many fucking doctors again and yet, it is fucking me big time. I made a appointment with my gastrologist but holy fuck i just know this is going to take forever to change to something else and then it might not even work and i get a damn Crohns flare instead. Fucking hell i hate my body why is it doing this to me and ofc this is all happening during the time i need to change my health insurance. Fuuuuck

>>34209473
i fucking hate women and niggers and sand niggers and izzat and having to work with all of them

>>34209881
Over what? You have no reason to throw shade.

Really hope things work out. I'm almost done.

69 meme pisses me off. It looks cool in adult videos but actually doing it is kinda underwhelming.

I can't stop using 4chan.

I've been obsessed with my ex for a while now. I don't bother her, I don't stalk her, but I think about her way too much. And every time I feel like I'm finally being able to forget, something reminds me about her. Last year, it was her brother wishing me happy birthday, last week it was being in a concert (we used to go to concerts a lot)
It's exhausting, I've done my best to let it go, deleted her pics, chats and everything I could. I don't go through the gifts she gave, I don't check her social media, nothing. I don't know nothing about her from the past 2 years

>>34210253
If you tell yourself you can't, then you can't... so don't
I'm here too and I see the irony of that, I stopped for months though and I've met a guy who stopped going on here completely

How do I tell my partner that the reason why I don't have engaging conversations with them is because their idea of engaging conversation is just airing the same ever growing laundry list of things they hate abour me, and the prospect of coming home to listen to that every day makes me unironically fall into suicidal ideation? I've been told I don't love them so many times it's become true.

I don't want to come home after work. I dread the weekend.

>>34209881
You sounds pretty bitchmade ngl

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>>34210253
Me too anon.

Does anyone ever regret not committing suicide?

I have autism and adhd and a few other goodies that essentially make everything difficult. The autism also makes me hated by shitciety.

Anyway I hear about people killing themselves or people who survived suicide attempts but are there anyone who regrets not killing themselves when they had the chance? Like when they had the willpower or opportunity to do so?

>>34209994
My chron's friend said she felt best when she was eating Paleo. It's annoying, but maybe try it.

errrm.. i think you are really cute, too.

i took the risk it didnt pay off
not one bit

If you want a dignified life, the path is to have rich parents and get into Montessori school when young, HGH administered in puberty, Princeton or Ivy League, then you get to have a real life.

Otherwise your options are being an ugly freak working retail or suicide.

I have no idea how to meet women. My last girlfriend was long-distance in a Discord server. We met up once and I had to end it because she was a terrible communicator and kept pushing me aside.

My other friend is getting married. Another is talking about his girl in those terms. I thought I’d be the first but I’m just gonna be alone forever.

>>34210502
We cannot think like this, broski.
There is a special someone out in the world who is more than perfect

I fucked up.
>made chicken Alfredo
>topped it with mozzarella cheese
>bread with melted butter side
>nice tall glass of milk

Here come the bubble guts

>>34210416
I'm pretty sure I've just gotten lucky so far, but I'm close to suicide now, because I lost my job and I will never be employed and paid that much ever again, so I'm considering why I'm even alive.

>>34210512
Now you've done it!

>>34210522
>I will never be employed and paid that much ever again
Nonsense. Inflation will catch up and that will be minimum wage ;)
No but seriously, there are much worse things than not being at your max earning potential. I'm currently underemployed but I make do, I amuse myself with hobbies while regrouping for the future. My past self would probably be a little disappointed but it's better than being dead.

>>34210512
>I can't eat this
>eats it
Natural selection, wherefore art thou?

it's over.

>>34210353
Is that actually your kot