>Date gorgeous Mormon gf for around 5 years (even prettier than pic related)>Has all the same likes as me (retro videogames, comic books), is a cowgirl, cooks amazing food and exercises daily>She leaves me when we were engaged>Nearly 5 years since and I think about her every day >I refuse to settle down with a worse woman but also know it would be near impossible for me to find someone as good as her again>Feel like my chance of having a happy life is over and feel depressed for hours a day every day about itIs there anything I could do? I just want to stop wanting to die.
>>34239554What was the reason she gave for leaving you anon?
>>34239560I was a bit messy and sometimes ignored her when she needed attention. But it got far worse when covid 19 happened>In my masters program>Covid 19 happens>Have to stop due to everything being closed and my research being dependent on physical activity outside>Can't find a job also due to covid making everything hard>gf graduates and get's her perfect job>I'm a shut in now and this makes my bad habits worse, staying inside being and making messes while she actually does stuff>Fight often now>Getting in the way of her perfect life and making her stressed>Mercy kill the relationship and break up with her knowing she was relieved to not have to carry me any more>She gets a new bf quickly
well it sounds to me like reconciliation isn't an option, which is something you need to accept if you haven't already. My advice would be to build yourself back up without her. You need to create some momentum in your life so you can actually move on. >do you have other romantic prospects?>do you have a fulfilling career? >do you have something you want to achieve or build to ward? acquire these things, some or all of them, and begin to fill the empty void she left in your heart with other dreams. let her go anon. Five years is long enough to mourn the dead timeline that just wasn't meant to be. It's time to clean yourself up, pick yourself off the floor and move on.
>>34239603I actually have a fulfilling career, many friends, hobbies, ect yet even with all of that I still can't make the depression about her go away>let her go anon. Five years is long enough to mourn the dead timeline I know, I wish I could. If I could take out the part of my brain that makes me miss her so much I would.
>>34239554Realize that you dont need an intimate relationship to make you happy.You just need plenty of friends and healthy habits, preferably also your own place and a career with a path forward.Coincidentally, this is the state you have to be in to even have a chance of replicating that thing you miss now.
>>34239570>>Mercy kill the relationship and break up with her knowing she was relieved to not have to carry me any moreSounds like self-sabotage
>>34239554>>even prettier than pic related>posts ugly swarthoid
>>34239671>>>34239554 (OP) #>Realize that you dont need an intimate relationship to make you happy.It's amazing how short sighted humans can be, and how empathy is such a hard skill for them to master.There is no way, my friend, no way in hell, that you understand or can even imagine the situation this man is in. He walks through life a broken shell. A ghost. He has a life on paper, job, friends, activities, but as soon as this man goes back home, he has NOTHING. He provides value to society in that he works, he makes other people happy with his frequent contributions, he is probably a nice guy who brightens up people's day when they interact with him. But at home brother, speaking from personal experience - there's just nothing. There's nothing here. Nothing worth living for. I love video games, but I need human connection. I will share a bit about myself:Ltr gf, 5 years, moved to her country, she cheated, I'm still here, no family, alone for over a year, decided to do something about it, meetups/hobbies/friendships, I took singing, dancing, acting, had 3 theater shows, 4 choir performances in amazing places, several dance parties with ladies, met friends who invited me to things and hung out with me outside the hobby environment. I thought that all these things would bring me peace, but even after all of that, there is no peace, that's the worst realization - that you can try so hard and you try and you try and you don't give up and you continue to get up every day and live this fucking life, and still - you're alone. So yeah buddy, "don't need a relationship to make you happy" is a fucking meme. It's like a car without the engine, it looks good and functional but nothing happens when you try to drive it. The rest of your advice is good - be your own man, as happy as you can be with the things that you DO have, but that meme about not needing a relationship to be happy is so blind to the actual state this man is in, it is simply not true and a lie
>>34239755Dude, I am the poster you refer to. My fiancee left me 2 months ago. I had everything set up with her - we were to be married and have kids together. I felt like my life has a purpose now, even though I already had my own place and career. I dont have it now - BUT IT IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY. Period. Before I met her I had an okay life with plenty of things to look forward to - as I have now. I empathize with losing your gf/fiancee/wife because I experienced it just 2 months ago - but people still rise up and build their life from scratch regardless. Pick a big goal that is actually meaningful to you besides having a relationship and structure your life around it. Because there is no way out of this misery without doing this and also there is no way of meeting a woman again and keeping a relationship without it.While I empathize with the emptiness OP feels, actual advice is to process it obviously - but then set a big goal, dont just go 'muh gym, jobbie job and friends' - this feels like slow death. And yes, setting goals might feel like a distraction from the ultimate biggest goal - to have a wife and reproduce. But do you have anything else to do?
>>34239570>She gets a new bf quicklyDid she married? It's been 6 years after COVID, she could have married or be single.
>>34239755>There is no way, my friend, no way in hell, that you understand or can even imagine the situation this man is in. He walks through life a broken shell. A ghost. He has a life on paper, job, friends, activities, but as soon as this man goes back home, he has NOTHING.Not that anon or OP but I'm a man in a similar boat to all of you, and yeah no one seems to get how hard this hits.You can have as many cool friends as you want, you can have as many awesome hobbies as you like, but eventually you have to go home, you can't stay out with others all the time. And if you live alone, there's nothing there but The Silence. And The Silence is a killer. You can have all these ambitions about learning a second language, taking night classes etc but in reality if you're burned out after a full day of work, when you come home to The Silence you're not going to want to do all that. In my case, The Silence got me addicted to alcohol and youtube.That being said, what choice do most of us really have? That meme, about all the good women being taken, the reason why no one likes that meme is because it's the uncomfortable truth. If you don't have something locked down by your mid to late 20s, it's actually over. Most girls that age or older are the leftovers for a reason, and in the US at least young girls these days are very wary of age gap relationships thanks to feminism. I know it's POSSIBLE to be happy even in The Silence - my business partner has been single for a decade or at least he ever mentioned ever having a girl to me in that time aside from the one or two times he shot his shot but I don't even think he's done that lately. Just cranking away on the tech for our business. I had to live with him for a little while after my engagement fell through and all he does on most nights is read books, do more research, maybe have one or two beers without getting drunk. Maybe it's easier for him since he's never been in a multi-year relationship like me.
>>34239795She married the guy she started dating after we broke up. So any hope of being with her again is gone. She was able to replace me with the first guy who asked her out. I have dated over 20 different girls since then and haven't felt a connection with any of them.
>>34239755Which country, Thailand?
>>34239570>She gets a new bf quicklyThis is always the worst, isn't it? You think they're special and it turns out they had a placeholder, a benchwarmer, for you all along.At the very least, you need to use this to help you rationalize why it's better for you to have not been with her. You don't want someone who had her eyes wandering. On the other hand, it's also very painful to the ego. We're not the first guys to get discarded and replaced, nor the last. It's why we have to fix this world and get women away from schools and "careers" where they do nothing but play powerpoint with strange men all day.
>>34239844Well I know she didn't know him before we broke up. After we broke up we both started using tinder. For her (an attractive women in her 20s) she was able to get a match with someone instantly and decided to meet up with them almost on a whim
>>34239844>Have to start the incel revolution just to not be lonely anymore
>>34239826>I have dated over 20 different girls since then and haven't felt a connection with any of them.If I may ask, how old are you now? It seems you dated them as a way to replace what you had lost, and not because you liked the person you've met.
>>3423988832 so i'm quickly reaching the point where the only people single near my age are starting to have some issues.
>>34239906Always try to be positive :)
>>34239906find younger women
>>34239912>Always try to be positive :)Dude... Such an asshole take telling someone this. No comments.>>34239906>32 so i'm quickly reaching the point where the only people single near my age are starting to have some issues.That's for sure, since you were dating a Mormon woman, I guess you're pretty religious, right? So maybe it's not impossible to find a woman that is not a whore, but it's getting late, if your dream is building a family with someone worthwhile, you better hurry up, at 32 you can still find a woman in her 20s, specially if you build a good career, but at 40... It's going to look creepy. because a lot of people had children in their 20s, so you will have the age to be their father. Dating a women in her 30s and 40s is not worth it in my humble opinion. Mostly are divorced, single moms, whores... Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with that, but you seem inexperienced, and you will be entering a relationship with people that have lots of baggage, it will be hard to connect with them.
>>34239930Be positive, pussy
>>34239906Tons of young women crave big age gaps dont let the redditors convince you otherwise. You still need to be hot and not be ugly and all that shit though
>>34239930>I guess you're pretty religious, right?No. In fact her family HATED me for years but I managed to become good friends with her mom so she finally accepted me marrying her. Though I DO want to start a family and I feel my clock is ticking. If I meet a woman my age (32) realistically I would date her for 3 years before marrying her (35) then another 2 years before child planning (37) which means there will be a 50/50 the kid will come out autistic.
>>34239941My problem isn't finding people to date. I have actually got on a decent number of dates and many of them have been very pretty. It is just finding someone I feel a connection with is almost impossible. With my ex it was so easy to talk for hour and hours about anything. I haven't felt this about a woman since. Most dates I feel like I need to struggle or force myself to have a conversation because they aren't interesting.
>>34239775I'm sorry for your loss brother, we're on the same page, I just don't agree that you can be happy without a relationship, you can be a version of happy, but not truly, not until you have it. Let me also share some helpful advice since I appreciate your write up - you're still in the glow of the after, you just got broken up with, you're still strong, but let me tell you it can get SO much worse. It can and it will if you let it, so keep at it. I'm also continuing even though I truly am starting to feel clinically depressed, like nothing makes me happy anymore, which is horrible. And I get slight suicidal thoughts which I never had before, because this is just horrible. >>34239823Exactly dude. That silence is so killing. I just feel like I'm playing a single player game and there's nothing there. Nothing matters. It's actually horrible. For me it's also YouTube and fapping, that's the only true pleasure I get from life at this point. Sure I get satisfaction from doing well with my colleagues, but it's just not real, it all feels like a distraction from the actual desire I have, which is to have a person who really, truly cares about me. >>34239853This stings a lot. My ex literally left me for the guy she cheated on me with, then moved countries to his country and still with him for over a year now. While I haven't gotten a single success despite tryingTo be fair I can't even get dates. I'm 29 and middle eastern and I'm in a country where everyone looks like viking gods, no girl looks at me as a prospective romance or attracted to me, and apps don't work. Horrible, dude. >>34239836Netherlands
>>34239946>>34239941Oh and I will double reply. I have dated girls younger than me but I find it even harder to connect with the zoomer mind. They all spend half their day on tik tok and seem even more brain rotted than millennials.I feel my standards aren't super high>decently attractive>Fun to talk to>Not going to cheat on me>Doesn't treat me like a wallet>Shares at least 1 interest with meMy ex filled out all of these but I haven't found a single woman who gets even 3 of them after around 25 or 30 dates.
>>34239942>If I meet a woman my age (32) realistically I would date her for 3 years before marrying her (35) then another 2 years before child planning (37) which means there will be a 50/50 the kid will come out autistic.That's why I told you, you can still find a woman in her 20s, not worth it if she is in her 30s and 40s. Better to die alone playing vidya and living a comfortable life.>>34239946>I haven't felt this about a woman sinceYou are suffering the same thing women's that date Chad feel, they become widows. Look, stop trying to replace something irreplaceable you lost, if you keep comparing what you currently have with what you could have had, you will never be happy and satisfied and you will never find connection.
>>34239775>My fiancee left me 2 months ago.I don't want to be mean to you but for me the first few months were the easy part. It was that is slowly got worse and worse as time went on. I was thinking I could find someone and feel happy just like before. Maybe you will and I hope you do but for me it was gets worse as each year passes.
>>34239956>This stings a lot. My ex literally left me for the guy she cheated on me with, then moved countries to his country and still with him for over a year now. While I haven't gotten a single success despite tryingThis is the only thing on earth that would make me homicidal
I just don't get you guys. All this ruminating and misery. Maybe this stuff goes back to childhood and it has less to do with these specific relationships than you think. I've never understood being unable to "choose" to change your mindset, to move on, to be happy.Ig I dont have much practical advice but I just want to let you know I'm almost 30, and I've REALLY loved and lost a few times, but what am I supposed to do, wallow in misery? Theres only one narrow path to happiness in my life and all others are invalid or won't work for me? It has to be that girl or no one? It has to be this way or nothing? It has to be now or never? Nah man I didnt care about that stuff while playing skyrim as a teen and I dont care now, if I'm honest and play my cards honestly then whatever happens is the best possible version of what could happen and that makes me happy. Girls have wanted to marry me and ive been like "nah I like you but I dont wanna marry yet" and they move on and its fine, no tears or anything. There's so much freedom and richness and possibility in life man I love it, I love all the optionsYou kinda sound like a fag with the "reeee I only want this ONE girl" and "no you dont understand I HAVE to date someone for 5 years before having kids!!!" and thats a bunch of bs holding you back. You should have learned from a mormon that some of the most successful marriages are from people who only date for like a month prior.
>>34239957Try 100 dates, then report back.
>>34239942>37>50/50 the kid will come out autisticDude, you won't be 60. If they'll be autistic at, it'll be because of your genes.
>>34239956Im sure theres plenty of wives in whatever desert shithole you came from
>>34239965I sympathize with this a lot. I look at myself now, a year and a half since she left me for the guy she cheated on me with, and boy let me tell you, the period that I thought was the worst, after the breakup, was leagues better from where I am today. At least I had feelings back then, hopes, motivation. Desperation, expectation, disappointment, I had all of it. Now I've just given up, I am in full learned helplessness mode. I really did try, and everything I tried for the past more than a year did not work, it's fucking futile. And so I'm outwardly emotionless even though I feel a deep pain inside. And I have zero incentive to do anything out of the understanding that absolutely nothing will happen. Nothing will succeed for me in the romantic sense. Natural selection is so fucking brutal and I'm it. Put a dude with a good mindset in a room with a lady and he might just have a shot with her, but my mindset which was strong and healthy and steadfast has been beaten down to nothing, and I no longer have that pep in my step, I lost my excitement. This is the death of me, and the death of the happy go lucky guy that I have always known myself to be. I think this is why I'm starting to get suicidal thoughts now, because I don't know myself anymore. I'm not me, and I also don't know who I am. I don't have a sense of self. And before you suggest it - therapy didn't help. This is hopeless. I'm this guy btw>>34239956>>34239967When you put it like that, yeah. But I'm not capable of that violence. I would just eliminate myself before I eliminate anyone else, that's how nice I am, or how much of a pussy, I don't know. I just want this to end. Never underestimate how much worse it can get - IT CAN GET SO MUCH WORSE!! AND IT WILL. Use the power you have, now, right away
>>34239997You're a prime example of a person who fails to empathize entirely, and instead goes ahead with saying how easy it is. It's so tone deaf, it's like walking into a room of alcoholics and saying "ahhh camaan guys!! What's the big deal?? Just drop the bottle!" Fucking retard
>>34240011I'm not religious, neither do I like living in poverty in a third world country. NL is my place, I'm a citizen here, it's just that in terms of dating, life is in extreme hardship mode
>>34239997>Don't be sad, be happy!
>>34240038This but unironicallyBeing a doomer is super unattractive
>>34240038Yes
>>34239826Unless it's your first love connections generally take time to develop.I made the mistake of not feeling a connection with my now ex gf because I had not fully gotten over my other ex and I killed the relationship because of it.I decided to get with my current gf while both of us were still mourning our exes and although it was a slow burn we developed a connection over several months and are now deeply in love with each other. Give it time.
>>34239941>Tons of young women crave big age gapsLMAO in the Jewnited States that literally makes you pedo Epstein. I’ve heard 21-22 year old zoomer girls talking about how it’s “creepy” that a guy their age would want to date an 18 or 19 year old. You’re either European, a liar, or one of those guys that dates the fat fuggos no guy their age wants and claim it as a W because she’s technically a teenager
>>34240348>I’ve heard 21-22 year old zoomer girls talking about how it’s “creepy” that a guy their age would want to date an 18 or 19 year oldThose exact same girls are the ones that take a mile of dick from 30+ year old chads on tinder. I know this because I lived in a college town for years and had plenty of female friends who weren't shy about sharing their romantic adventures. It's just another flavor of bitterness from broads who got chad widowed
>>34239714>She gets a new bf quicklySounds more like a higher power doing him a solid. OP should stop being a hopeless scared fag and move on to new pussy himself or find something fun to do while waiting for the next one to come along if it does.
>>34240355I’ve lived near colleges for longer than you’ve been alive probably, I have a PhD. And I’m telling you, it’s not like that. Chicks set their dating app age limits to a hard 29, I barely even saw chicks under 30 as potential matches when I used dating apps with my actual age of 33.That being said I do live in one of the most liberal cities and probably the worst city for dating as a straight man in the US, so there is that.
>>34240365Somehow I'm skeptical sorority girls are sharing all their sexual hijinks with some shrimp-postured lab dork. Your descriptions match what I'd expect from weird neurotic brainrotted STEM whores though, I assume that constitutes most of the women you've actually socialized with in your position.
>>34239755First 2 paragraphs of this made me cry. This is me. A shell. A ghost. I'm so tired of living like this.
If its any help im going through the exact same thing. Relationship of ten years, married for 4, we had to live apart due to work the past year and we were about to move in together with this big house i rented for us. 3 weeks ago she stops responding, texting, anything. I call her. Nothing. I eventually go berserk and blow her phone up until she answers and she tells me she never wants to hear my voice again. Im a husk of a man, lost my vigour, my purpose. How can i invest in anyone when ive been this badly betryaed? Literally a month ago she was saying how much she loves me. Now? Total silence. Its the only thing ive ever experienced that made me wonder if suicide is worth it to free myself from the constant torment
>>34240362I guess you're right. If she really wanted to stay with him she would have opposed the break-up issued by him.
>>34240417You're not alone anon. It's horrible. We probably need people to talk to outside of anonymous posters on 4chan. I say that with full hypocrisy
>>34240371>some shrimp-postured lab dorkI'd kick your teeth down your throat and make the difference between your face and ass all the more negligible, zoom zoom, if you didn't shit yourself doing my day job first.
>>34240428Calm down Billy Bob the world doesn't revolve around you and your delicate feelings
>>34240428The boomers were right, millennials are unbelievably fragile
>>34240436>>34240439>unfamiliar with the "talk shit, get hit" principle after living lives terminally onlineIt's true what they say about zoomers, you need to go outside and get punched in the face
>>34240449What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your “life”. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>34240449I hate zoomers as much as anyone but /adv/ is an odd place to puff up and go full internet tough guy. None of us care. We're all depressed shitbags
>>34240428>delt vein and capped lateral delt despite doughy midsection and mediocre physique otherwise>nipping out hard on a hot enough day to justify shorts and a wife beater>fresh cystic acne scars all over his arm as a grown man>throwing an estrogenic temper tantrum on a myanmar therapy forumCertified genetic dead end roidtranny moment
>>34240453>he doesn't have enough self respect to hold himself consistently in all his interactionsSounds like a (You) problem
>>34240425Don't know if you're being sarcastic but yeah. Going along with the breakup and immediately hopping on new cock shows clear as day she didn't even like his ass like that. It also shows she wasn't that good of a romance option. So OP is crying about a bitch that revealed he meant very little to her and is a pretty typical woman herself.
>>34240461Woah guys, Clavicular browses /adv/!>cystic acneThat's keratosis pilloris you dumb fuck, if you're going to mald and bitch that you can't even get a "mediocre" body like mine then actually know what you're talking about.
>>34240428>>34240449>>34240463raped behavior
>>34240472Didn't meant to sound sarcastic
>>34240480>t. generation bullied into compliance by niggers and women
>>34240395I'm so sorry man. I'm writing this from my bed, a full long weekend of being indoors doing nothing, Friday Saturday Sunday just played project Gorgon and felt like a sack of shit. I also got sick first thing Saturday morning. I'm alone through everything. I'm really sorry man. I can only hope somehow, some way, it will get better for us. I'm going back to uni tomorrow and I really hope I can find the strength to actually succeed. I'm a husk of a man too.>>34240417Women can be so brutal. So so brutal. How can you ever trust another human. How can you. You just can't. My ex is living the life with the guy who she cheated on me with, playing RimWorld and cooking food with everything paid for her, access to sex and does whatever the fuck she wants otherwise. I hate this, a lot.Like, the only comfort I see is to take the blackpill and that's not even a solution. I'm just saying if I get access to women again, I'm going to be way more careful about how I let them into my life. So that I can stay emotionally safe.I fear the next time a woman has her heart in my hands
>>34240365>I barely even saw chicks under 30 as potential matches when I used dating apps with my actual age of 33.Bro it's because you are a poorfag and have caveman genetics and not in the good way. I am 36 and get tons of matches. I fucked a 19 year old a month ago.
>>34239554>Has all the same likes as me (retro videogames, comic books), is a cowgirl, cooks amazing food and exercises dailyAll of this is shallow shit that can be molded into anybody urself>(even prettier than pic related)Not really an achievement looking better than some hillbilly-dressed mudslime looking randomShe wasted 5 of ur years>gf graduates and get's her perfect job>I'm a shut in now and this makes my bad habits worse, staying inside being and making messes while she actually does stuffOh you were just the practice bf during uni hahahAnyway ur low self worth considering you don't even respect urself enough to cultivate good habits - hence you pedestalise and idolise mediocrity - simply because ur level is just that much low. So git gud
