>>34241100
You might just be bored. Maybe try doing something fun with your wife you don't normally do like travel or go to some fun event or some shit

I would probably dislike this girl if I really knew her. Her and her sisters at least seem really left-leaning which is fine, but in an annoying way. I know she parties. She seems to like going out and all that stuff. In 4chan’s eyes C is an absolute thot and I’m inclined to agree.

The two things I think may be gravitating me to her are her apparent independence and her figure. So fucking shallow.

I think her studying abroad is just really brave and independent, and I can’t help but look at my wife who can be very shy and timid with things and feel a bit frustrated sometimes even though she has grown so much to get past that.

C’s family also seems (at least on social media lol) very close and gets along well. This is contrasted with my wife’s family who with the exception of like 2 people is dead to me.

C is also really hot. She played a bunch of sports in high school and has a really nice toned body.

Now my wife is gorgeous, truly. So many people tell me genuinely, not just to say, how beautiful my wife is and how lucky I am to have her. She is gorgeous to me.

The last few years as women tend to, she has gained a bit of weight and it’s mostly in her belly. She also has some high cholesterol and other issues that make me really concerned with that. She does take it seriously, and last year worked really hard to go from 130 to about 115lbs , and her cholesterol tanked (shes short if those numbers seem crazy), but gained it back to about 125 the past 6 months or so.

I guess I’m equally selfish about wanting her to be slimmer for me, and also because I of course want her to be healthy long-term.

This seems like a huge aside but it’s more for me to just write out and get it out. My wife is actively trying to lose the weight again but I feel like I get frustrated at her sometimes seeming to not take it seriously at least in my eyes.

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. I’d be happy to answer anything else.

I feel like a piece of shit.

>>34241113
Maybe. We took a trip a couple weeks ago and had an absolute blast. I feel like I had gotten C out of my mind mostly but the last couple days it came back hard. I feel so creepy but couldn’t help just trying to search more about her online and stuff. It’s been on my mind a lot since.

Thanks for responding.

Tldr larp

>>34241100
This is why you don't marry the person you date in high school. Instant failure recipe.

>>34241136
Because I have this weird quasi-crush on some random girl? I love my wife and would do anything for her. I don’t want to leave her at all. I’m just looking for ways to get past it.

I enjoy eye candy as much as the next guy, I’m human. I’ve just never quite felt this before. I had almost gotten over it but it came back, so I know I can get past it.

>>34241120
>I can’t help but look at my wife who can be very shy and timid with things and feel a bit frustrated sometimes
I definitely get this cause I personally don't really like shy girls as much for this reason. Though as you noted a person can change, and can continue to change even at older ages. I used to be more less "adventurous" with high inhibitions than I am now so I know it's possible. Maybe try to encourage her to do fun things outside her comfort zone. Just as an example I have a fear of heights but I'm planning on going sky diving in the near future in spite of this.
>C is also really hot. She played a bunch of sports in high school and has a really nice toned body.
Eh this is the lust which is normal. Your wife probably thinks other guys are hot any possibility fantasizes about them. That doesn't mean it should be acted on.
>The last few years as women tend to, she has gained a bit of weight and it’s mostly in her belly. She also has some high cholesterol and other issues that make me really concerned with that. She does take it seriously, and last year worked really hard to go from 130 to about 115lbs , and her cholesterol tanked (shes short if those numbers seem crazy), but gained it back to about 125 the past 6 months or so.
Yeah this is a legit important problem cause if she doesn't continue to take her health/weight seriously for the rest of her life then there's a high chance she'll end up obese when she's middle aged, especially cause she's short so it's easier to gain weight. Idk how to prevent that though. Maybe just keep talking to her about it (not an angry or accusing way) and maybe you guys could learn more about preparing healthy food or some shit together. Maybe go to the gym together as well if that's possible.

For the time being it's probably not possible for you to not have feelings for this C girl so you should try to accept you have a crush on her for now. If you continue to not interact with her it'll go away with time.

>>34241160
>Because I have this weird quasi-crush on some random girl?
No. Because childhood relationships are supposed to end for the same reason you're not supposed to stay with the first job you ever get forever or stay in the house you first moved into forever. You haven't formed any sort of comparison for what you want out of life or a relationship. 99% of the time when people marry their high school sweethearts the thing you're going through happens - one or both of you start becoming fixated on having experiences with other people outside of your marriage because you never had them in your youth. You end up wondering whether or not there's something better out there because you've only experienced one person. I'm sure you love your wife but the first thing you learn as an adult is that it takes a lot more than love to sustain a relationship. I'm not telling you to leave your wife and I hope you find a way to work through it. Still, the fact remains, high school sweetheart relationships are inherently built on a house of cards. They rarely last because eventually the curiosity about who and what else is out there becomes too great.

>>34241191
Thank you for the earnest response. I am thankful that I have a wife who I can bring that sort of thing up with and she can respond well to it. I have brought it up and like I said, she lost a significant amount of weight because of it. I know she’s capable of it and she does understand that it’s best for her health. Unfortunately I feel like she doesn’t necessarily understand just how important it is and that’s what bothers me. She doesn’t understand that a heart attack or stroke by 50 is a possibility or how awful that would be. She just doesn’t understand the gravity of it.

Other than that her diet and behavior has changed a lot because of me. We enjoy taking walks and when the weather’s nice we are pretty active. However, even though she does enjoy walking something that frustrates me is she almost never has asked to. I ALWAYS initiate it. I just wish she would take care of herself on her own accord and have agency over the most important thing: her health.

I know she understands it fundamentally, but ladeedadeedah it’s something to kick the can down the road with. I know it’s not. Make the change now, maintain it, and it’ll be easy and she’d look back and be so thankful for it.

I’ve brought it up with her how upset it makes me and how stressed it makes me when she doesn’t seem to care. She listens and seems to care and wants to change, but at least for the past month hasn’t really. It is the dead of winter here, and I want to give her grace for that. I also don’t want to annoy her by constantly bringing it up, I can be quite neurotic.

I think this is part of why C seems so attractive to me. She just knows to take care of herself and takes pleasure in it seemingly with no issue. Again, I don’t know shit about C in reality.

>>34241100
>I immediately looked up her socials and stuff (haven’t followed or liked or anything of course), but just to see. Shes so cool. She has done so many things and even studied abroad for a couple years.
Anybody that showy offy about their boring troglodyte life on social media already sounds very uncool to me. Oh wow look at me troovelling! Look at this cool landmark I paid $$$$ to stand in front of! Ooh wow look at me dressed thotty with my other friends oh I'm soooo popular everyone likes me sooo much!!

>her apparent independence and her figure. So fucking shallow.
Actually, the figure is yes shallow, but the independence, or rather, lack of independence in your own wife, is a pretty valid concern

>Now my wife is gorgeous, truly. So many people tell me genuinely, not just to say, how beautiful my wife is and how lucky I am to have her.
More shallowshit. Ironically, you staying with your wife was the MORE shallow option - you took someone deficient in other departments because she had the looks so you decided you'd endure it just for the looks

>C’s family also seems (at least on social media lol)
Even the family is insufferable lol jk but like, this isn't that much of an achievement, this is just baseline normalcy normie-dom, nothing to write home about. You just crave that cuz you selected someone way worse than a mediocre normie

> think this is part of why C seems so attractive to me. She just knows to take care of herself and takes pleasure in it seemingly with no issue
C is just a plain boring normie but even that is an achievement in this "mentally ill" era where being dogshit is normalised and mainstream

Tell ur waif if she doesn't get her shit together and buckle up then ur monkeybrnaching to C

>>34241274
All good points. Trust me we have a lot more than just “love” keeping us together. I’ve seen so many friends deal with batshit crazy girls and stuff, and they all say that my wife is fantastic and they wish they had someone like her. I’m not saying this in a settling way, more like you’re absolutely right that it almost feels like a curse of wanting to see what else is out there, but I can’t. Not without destroying myself and my marriage and her. And for what? Just to realize that this C girl is worse? That my wife was the better choice, the best choice I could have ever made all along?

>>34241274
All very good points. I have seen so many friends have shitty relationships that have ended terribly, and they’ve always wanted what my wife and I have. But I’ll never know what another girl is like, not without destroying my marriage, my wife, and myself in the process.

And for what? To realize that this C girl is just another girl with her own issues like anyone else? To realize that my wife was the best choice I could have made all along? It’s that feeling of never being able to know for sure. So yeah, you’re right in a way.

But I’ll never cheat on my wife. The thought disgusts me so much. I know that I’d feel so guilty and know how wrong it would be instantly.

Thank you, it feels so good to talk about this. All I’ve told my wife is if I’m acting weird or anything it’s nothing super bad, I’m just going through something and I can’t really talk about it with her. Of course, shes been nothing but loving and supportive.

>>34241379
Like I said, I don't desire your marriage to end nor would I encourage you to abandon it. I hope you can make it through. I'm just providing my personal insight. As a bit of more insight, what you are describing is every choice in life - leaving something comfortable for the possibility of the next thing being worse or staying and always wondering if another thing is better. Only you can weigh those options and make that decision. I hope you make the right one.

>>34241367
>More shallowshit. Ironically, you staying with your wife was the MORE shallow option - you took someone deficient in other departments because she had the looks so you decided you'd endure it just for the looks

Nah, not this one. My wife happens to be attractive physically to me but her personality and heart and sense of humor are the catch for me.

>>34241367
>telling OP to take some random whore with a double digit body count over his high school sweetheart cause she's le boring
Female mindset

>>34241388
Replied twice like a retard, my bad.

>>34241400
Pretty much. I look at myself feeling this way and can’t help but call myself completely retarded.

>>34241398
>>34241400
What I'm saying is - both of you are assuming C has her own "issues" or whatever. Sour grapes. That oh, the world MUST be balanced, C has all this shit so she MUST have a shittier personality or a shittier heart or a shittier sense of humour, she MUST have taken miles and miles of cock. Just world fallacy

You absolutely COULD monkeybranch to C, but let's do a cost benefit analysis. A risk reward analysis. You'd lose your wife (or would you? You could always reverse monkeybranch back to her), and you'd discover more about this C person. But sunken cost fallacy - you've already invested a lot into ur waif. You'd lose all that to try start anew with an unknown variable C. So it's really just up to you. But no point demonizing or pedestalising someone like C - just use it as a gauge for how your own relae is going - and as you said, it was useful because now you noticed deficiencies in ur own relae - how ur waif is dependent timid weakling who needs too much support - so now get problem solving on fixing that, either by fixing ur waif or defecting over to C. Or engineer a threesome with all participating

>>34241423
This all sounds pretty retarded honestly.

But yes you’re right, I acknowledge that C could very well be the girl of my dreams. But… why? Why should she be different than any other out there? I’ve just made her out to be this projection of what I want her to be without knowing really anything.

>>34241100
>Either way, bleh
Mmm I feel like this is another woman LARPing post and it's either creative writing or OP is actually the wife and C is a guy.

>>34241443
Maybe you should just do the needful and

Get to know C

(But unflirtatiously)

The fruit of knowledge is waiting to be plucked n bitten into

>>34241454
It would be extraordinarily weird for me to do that other than stalking her and finding out where she goes outside of work.

She’s like one out of thousands of people, not an office situation. I can’t even fully articulate how creepy this would be.

Part of me would want to just to find something to be disgusted with regarding her so I can fucking move on.

>>34241472
Ur either the creep who finds out or the pussy who never does

Lose lose I guess
But at least in 1 of those situations you might actually gain
Knowledge!

Maybe you could just be friends with C? Idk. Tell ur wife about it and ur wife can decide what to do - leave you, stay and fix up herself, stay and not fix up herself, or maybe befriend C herself, etc.

It just so happens that the initial is C so that posts like above can be made to be read and thought about. Fuck off

I think you just need to remember again why you chose your wife and get back to appreciating the things she has done for you. Nothing in your relationship sounds broken or really even shaky so this seems like a case of getting distracted from how good you’ve got it since the new gal just has something that’s exciting you more. It’s fair to say that an established relationship can become less exciting over time but that usually comes from a lack of effort to keep things fresh and spicy from one or both of you. I’d focus there and see if you can improve on that aspect of things in a best case your wife would also work at it though it might be tricky to communicate it if she doesn’t do it on her own.

At the end of the day you’re right that you just don’t know enough about the other woman and there seems to be plenty of love for your wife, so it seems the best course of action is to preserve the great things you already have and overcome the part of you that wants more more more. Ask yourself a simple question and it’s would your wife always have your back? If you can say yes then you’ve got what every guy should want to want. No need to beat yourself up over this we are creatures of want and sometimes we do need to fight that nature to preserve what’s best for us.

>>34242308
I want to fucking kill myself I wrote this massive reply to this and it got deleted while I was waiting for the captcha to time out.

It’s too much to retype but I agree, and thank you for replying. I’m going to condense it to the very minimum.

My wife would absolutely do anything for me and I for her.

If it were not C it would be another girl, and I’m sure there will others in the course of my life. She just happened to be the one to fill in the blank of my little fantasy when I needed it those few days I must have been annoyed or bored with my wife. It’s the dead of winter and while we do try and do stuff, it’s just not the same as when the weather’s nice and we’re out all the time together.

What I’m going to do is not stop looking at anything with C. No stalking her work schedule thinking “what if we work together again?”, no more looking at her socials. If she comes to mind I’m not going to freak out, it’s natural. The thoughts will come and go; but the more I deliberately don’t encourage them the less they’ll appear in my mind and eventually fade away.

I can’t help but laugh at the thought of myself happening to work with C again randomly in like 6 months, if ever.

What am I going to do? Rip my wedding band off and suavely start flirting with this girl who could very well already have a BF or be lesbian or something? Spaghetti would fly everywhere. Meanwhile my wife loves me despite my retardation and even loves me for it. It’s just silly.

>>34241136
>>34241274
Wow what an incredibly kikeish perspective

>>34243901
How long have you been married to your pure virgin wife? Or are you just another 4chan autist who has been radicalized into romanticizing a lifestyle that you'll never come close to achieving?

>>34241274
>having experiences with other people outside of your marriage
Why would this even matter? Having sex with one person is about the same as with any other. Finding even one person that's generally aligned with you and has your back seems relatively rare, so I can't see the point in risking that because it was your first.

>>34244369
>Why would this even matter? Having sex with one person is about the same as with any other.
My brother, its not just sex. Other experiences matter because its the only way to gain skill and insight into literally anything. You truly do not know what it is you want until you experience what you don't want. This is how you learn to discern and to understand how you and your partner react NOT just in things relatively insular to your relationship like sex but loss, tragedies, setbacks, stress, anger etc., Trying and failing is how you learn what sort of person you need to overcome these things. Is it possible to find that person in high school? Sure. Is it likely that a pair of 15-16 year olds have wisely chosen in each other a partner that makes them happy and fulfilled and supported through adult and the rest of their lives? Absolutely not. Not even remotely likely.

>>34241100
stop comparing your wife to other women, and choose to stop lusting over random women.

>>34244791
>>loss, tragedies, setbacks, stress, anger
You would learn this during the relationship and leave if how she handles it is bad. Why would you need more people to figure that out?

Not trying to be difficult, just curious.