>>34258887
Asking her to hangout on valentines day is corny and gave her the ick

>>34258914
Oh yeah the way she was telling me that she didn't have any plans an Valentine's Day and then asking me if I had plans with a big grin on her face while maintaining strong eye contact with zero blinking totally threw me off guard my bad

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not sure what kind of advice you want but that sucks man

>>34258990
If I should continue entertaining her as an option or if I should just cut her off and move on..

I think it doesn't matter
None of this matters

>>34258996
If she's no longer working there then you never need to see her again. Problem solved.

I've had an experience vaguely similar to you OP, so I'll give you my interpretation. She was play-flirting but didn't see you as an actual romantic prospect. She liked you as a friend, she got a sort of vicarious sense of actual romantic flirting through you acting as a buffer, but she and her friends were also entertained by your reactions. As soon as you made it real, it was time to call it quits, and that fits with her leaving. She may not necessarily want to end her friendship with you, but more than likely she would have drifted away to people who actually fit her romantic interests that she wasn't going tell you about, she just hoped that things would end without anything happening, a have your cake and eat it too situation.

Yes, she sees you as safe to do this with without repercussions.
Yes, it's inconsiderate of your feelings and a sign of immaturity on her part.
Yes, it's completely disrespectful to you as a person, because you exist as a form of entertainment at work and she wasn't going to share anything truly personal with you at any rate.
And yes, it actually would be better if she wasn't in your life from this point on. It's hard when you start developing feelings, especially when those building feelings go completely unresolved. What do you do with them except seethe and overthink for weeks? I don't know the degree to which your interest built, but be glad that you're not working together anymore because it's a waste of time and energy. It'll suck because you're losing something in your life that was adding meaning, leaving a her-shaped hole that nothing else will quite fill for a while, but it's like weaning yourself off a drug addiction.

There will be better people out there for you, even if you feel like you just wasted all this time on one relationship.

>>34259134
First of all, I'm not in love with the girl so there isn't much overthinking going on on my part, I just wanted to have sex, I knew there wasn't going to be anything substantial considering the stories I've heard about her past relationships, I thought I could at the very least get a quick hook up going. I didn't do anything wrong, I saw the signs, and made my move until she was about to leave so it would be a safer bet, now she's back pedaling because shit got real, if anything she's coming off as an immature coward, she works again for two more weeks and then she'll be gone after that so its not like I won't be seeing her again for the time being, in any case, I'm thinking of trying again because why not, too much time has gone into talking to this girl for it not to pay off, that is assuming she shows up for her last two weeks.

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>>34258887
Lmao. Mine was even funnier.
>be me
>see a new coworker
>think nothing
>she starts talking to me for some reason
>I respond in kind, try to match her energy, but seldom escalate, because I don't know what she wants
>we start talking more and more
>ffw two months
>flirty, work-buddy dynamic
>pretty sure she's into me now
>one day, we run into each other at work
>do nothing, just stand and talk for about an hour
>she offers me food, asks about my life, and compliments me
>pretty PRETTY sure she's into me NOW
>she looks me in the eyes, smiles, and asks
>"Anon... do you have a girl friend?"
>pretty PRETTY PRETTY sure she's into me NOW
>I look her in the eyes, smile, and say
>"No, I don't... Do you have a boy friend?"
>and she says
>"Yes, I do."
>what the fuck
>I play it cool, and we continue talking like usual
>a day later, I can't help but ask her why is she even talking to me then
>"I like you, but I only see us as colleagues/friends. Sorry."
>she withdraws completely

>>34259175
At least yours didn't flat out say she wanted to fuck and then back down the minute you asked her out, THAT'S the part that's making me crash out.

https://youtu.be/cvT9RP5uUks

idk how you whores have sex without feelings

>>34259134
>>34259175
Is the only way to know to just tell her what you're feeling? My girl changed her workplace but she's still a part of our friend group. At first she was very flirty but then when I wasn't acting on it she seemed to get somewhat mad at me and grew a bit more distant. I never did anything about it because I come from an abusive household while she has a loving, well-off family so the prospect of dating her made me feel like I'd be worming into her life. She probably liked me because I'm caring and charming but one of our colleagues from work once told me that she complained about how everyone in the workplace is shipping us together while she visibly loved the attention. The issue is that I never really was into anyone and ever since she left I can't stop thinking about her but at the same time I can't stand the idea of being a pet doggy for a girl who was just play-flirting with me for attention and to kill time at work (she likely never had a bf, she's a virgin at 26).

>>34259175
>all that shit
so would she have kept going if you had said that you had a girlfriend or what? what was the point

>>34258887
Paradoxically girls who are super-friendly generally don’t like you that way.
>two girls at my gym, both very sexy
>blonde one is constantly smiling at me, being friendly and laughing at my dumb remarks
>try to ask her out
>goes cold and says that she has a boyfriend
>brunette has a constant resting bitch face and whenever we make eye contact she immediately turns away
>on the handful of occasions we talk she is polite but has a disinterested tone and conversation quickly stalls
>turns out she had a burning crush on me for over a year and when I did ask her out, she looked like she was going to explode from joy
Turned out well I’d say, brunette had a much nicer body. Could spank that ass all day. But point being, appearances can be deceiving.

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Women moment lmao

>>34259194
Judge a woman by her actions, not her words

>>34259200
>she's a virgin at 26
Or so you think. Did you personally inspect her hymen?

>>34258887
>>following day she says she doesn't have any plans for Valentine's day
>>the following day (today) I ask her out
maybe she was expecting you to ask her out immediately after telling you she had no plans? maybe she wanted you to insist and convince her?

You waited too long, its really that simple. You guys wait way too long every single time

>>34259579
Honestly I found that in my small town it's actually way more common than I previously thought (so absolutely not much but they are there), mostly sheltered girls or autistic girls. I could also insecurely imagine that she used to get fucked every week but I can also not be a neurotic freak and just Occam's Razor it.

>>34259202
Yes, women love when men have already been vetted by other women.

>>34259688
>>34259734
>you should have done x at time y
Stupid nonsense
If she actually cared about OP it wouldn't matter
She just didn't actually care about him simple as that

>>34260614
women aren't men. their attraction is finite if you don't do anything. then they'll start treating you as a friend or grow cold.

>>34260630
>their attraction is finite
In other words they don't care about you
This girl was obviously just playing a game with OP
It was never about her attraction it was about his
She wanted to attract him and she did... after a year and a half
I bet her tiny little self esteem got damaged when it took that long that's what really happened

>>34260649
Oh and not to forget she had to resort to her most pathetic direct tactics (by woman standards lol)
It goes both ways
If a woman really cared and thought you were special she wouldn't be waiting a year and a half to be (slightly) direct with you either
She did not care about OP not one little bit
I'm willing to bet OP and her are both just mediocre losers. Otherwise one would have pounced on the other faster. But no OP was uncertain about her so he didn't act and she has low self esteem so she decided to try and boost it by attracting a random guy

i've also been burned by a play flirting whore at work. and also during school come to think of it. that one tried to get my attention again after i started ignoring her after she rejected me kek.

>>34260753
The problem there is that you can't tell whether these girls are either playing hard to get or just using you for attention, it's annoying.

>>34258887
>Him and everyone else ITT will never know how I know this is 100% verifiably delusional

>>34260930
How is it delusional?

>>34260930
Enlighten us.

>>34260649
>>34260668
as if women arent notorious for even getting over their attraction to men while in relationships with them LOL.

>>34260941
>>34260943
>tells her friend not to tell me because she wants to tell me personally
This is not a detail someone adds to a story unless it is a delusional narrative they're telling themselves, in their head
This detail adds nothing to the story, instead, it paints him as oblivious, which is an subconscious admission
If the story was true, "her and her friend quit ... she told me", nobody who went through this would feel compelled to assume actions and impugn the motivations of those actions, only someone delusional would
>she's really going to miss me
"really", adjective, even if she literally fawned with "I'm really going to miss you so much", he would've used the adjective for his perception of events, not her perception

The whole story reads as someone deep in her head, he doesn't know where reality ends.

>>34260974
>an subconscious admission
>an
If you're gonna larp as a grammar expert at least master the english language saar

>>34258887
She is lonely and finds you entertaining. She might be attracted to how you reflect her "fun side" but not to the idea of being together with you.
Girls like these are self-obsessed and entitled. You might be a really good and fun dude, don't waste your time analyzing her behavior. She likes how you make her feel about herself, she doesn't like *you*.

>>34260989
I wrote "an admission" first and then added subconscious, forgot to change the "an".

>>34258887
I read all of this thinkin' you would fumble, then I saw the end... I hope that bitch gets ran over by a semi.

Women just like free attention at work you fucking retards. It is never about you being a serious option or not. They just like feeling shit to make their day go by faster. And we all know how overexposure to a partner at work will kill all drive for any relationship. Don't shit where you eat. These stupid hoes don't even realize what they're doing, but if they are not actively pursuing (YOU), then yes, she is just fishing for attention. And no, making dumbass flirty comments for responses is not pursuit of you. SHE has to ask for YOUR number, for YOUR time, for YOUR attention. You never ask them. The internet and birth control has them set up to be repulsed at any non chad behavior these days. It is what it is. Bail on women.

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>>34261662
>BRO, ALL SHE SAID WAS THAT SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, SHE AIN'T THAT INTO YOU BRO YOU'RE READING TOO MUCH INTO IT!

>>34258887
I had this happen to me kinda but I think she genuinely liked me because she even talked to me after she left the job and even invited me to go on a trip with her and her sister or cousin or something. Like a double couple trip idk. She also came to my place one time we had some fun but not full sex. After that one day she asked me if we could do it while she was on her period being the autistic freak I am and having /fit/ as my guiding compass for life I gave a negative IQ response without even trying to be smooth so she got pissed. Eventually stopped being pissed but then I was pissed. I ignored her message when she left the job, I also didn't know what to do after she came to my place if I should have shown interest which I tried to do or what. Idk, her being like she was and my autism was a weird combination one thing it seems true is that once you start caring too much you instantly lose but at the same time it's natural that it happens so... I guess it's about balance like everything else. It seems you pissed her off like I did and then she didn't want to come over just like in my case. It happens bro don't be mad and give her space and time. That's all.

>>34259194
some women flirt for the love of the game son. it wasn’t personal, it was just convenient.

>>34259134
The fate of emotional tampon

>>34261680
Modern women get ran through my multiple men a week. The prospect of sex to them is as meaningless as a handshake or fist bump is to a guy.

>>34258887
>>following day she says she doesn't have any plans for Valentine's day
>>the following day (today) I ask her out
I think that's the issue, she probably expected you to ask her out right then and there in the heat of the moment, but instead, you waited until the next day, by then, she already got it in her head that you weren't interested, if she's still there it might still be salvageable considering she's been into you for an entire year and a half, if not, then better luck next time.

I should learn how to play flirt to kill off time at work, shit it gets boring

>>34258887
I'm sort of going through this at work now. I don't know if she's just being friendly. She came over to me on multiple occasions just to tell me about her drama and gossip and would always smile and make eye contact with me, but she is highly extroverted as well. Definitely not going to be the one to push it further. As we say in accounting, don't hookup where you vlookup

A lot of women enjoy the chase more than commitment, and the moment you confront them and tell them your actual feelings they move on and look for someone else to latch onto. It hurts but it's not your fault, and your best bet is to just move on and find someone who's not just looking for a guy to give her free compliments all the time.

>>34258887
Nigger, you have a responsibility to take your shot with her.

>>34262367
I don't know bro, I'm usually the first one to tell anons what's what in situations like this, but blatantly dropping a hint that she's down to fuck is a massive clue that she wants to fool around, most girls when they play flirt don't do this unless they're extremely desperate, which is rare. Either OPs girl is bitch who likes to lead guys on, or she's playing hard to get for whatever reason.

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>>34259734
>make move too soon
>another asshole guy that just sees me as meat
>build rapport first
>wuh?! but we were just friends, he wanted to just use me this whole time?!

>>34259357
actually i just changed universities and there’s a girl who’s really cute but shy, she talks to like two people, a girl and a guy, with whom she laughs for nothing, asks for solutions though he’s not good in school, etc. while even if i’m next to him and have all the answers she won’t talk to me, i’d have to propose my help to be able to interact

am I cooked and she’s attached to him or is it just some friendly shy foid stuff and i still got my chances?

https://desuarchive.org/int/search/text/toilfu/

>>34259357
>OPs girl: has expressed interest in actually having sex
>Your girls: normal polite interactions
Apples and oranges here bud, I'd say OP might have a shot at fixing this but it's gonna take some extreme level manipulation tactics he probably doesn't have.

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>>34258887
She was only flirting with you as she enjoys you giving her attention. If she was into you, she would have made it more obvious that she liked you.

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>>34259175
But I do miss what we had. I tried to talk to her today, and she's just so cold and distant...

>>34259175
Had a girl hit on me at work like this once, was also complimenting me/touching me all the time. I did eventually meet her fiance and he was the short balding Redditor type, so it's no wonder.
I would have done something because I'm a piece of shit but never got the chance.

>>34259134
Telling you to "fight" you even as a joke isnt friendship, you guys fell for the "shit test is attraction" meme.

>>34268326
What does this even mean

>>34267727
Not OP but how much more obvious can you get with a line like "That's too bad" referring to the fact that she's down to fuck? This is just scummy behavior regardless if she's insecure/immature or not.

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>>34258887

>>34258887
If women, especially young women, are showing clear romantic interest in you, that typically means they want you to take charge. As other anons have said you shouldn't have asked her out. You should have casually said "come to dinner with me tomorrow" you almost have to not give them a choice.

>>34258914
Some people prefer the chase and I'm realising this in my mid twenties. I believe they were called "floozies" "flower childs" "flygirls" etc.

>>34270748
>showing clear romantic interest in you
like what?

>>34272772
Like what OP described. The girl practically asked him to fuck her and he faltered. This is another component of male confidence that a lot of guys just never seem to be able to naturally pick up. Maybe because some of you didn't play sports as kids, the girls are putting the ball in your court, they are passing the rock and guys are missing easy layups. No my first girlfriend but my first "serious" gf (as in being long term, and meeting her family, and fucking like rabbits) I didn't even know she liked me, our friends groups sometimes hung out together but we never flirted just joked around and talked shit. But one random day she was finally able to get some alone time with me, what she did was obviously change her walking path or destination to come sit next to me, let her leg touch my leg, and simply talked like normal. She had never been physical before, the leg press and one on one conversation was her giving me the signal to dive into her pussy and suck on her big juicy titties, and kiss her cute pouty lips. All I did was ask for her phone number so we could text, I walked her home, and kept the conversation going over the phone and one week later we were skipping class to fuck in my bedroom. It seems like a very frequent issue a lot of guys have online is that they miss these signals, and if they do catch them they sometimes go too hard and too fast, just like being in the bedroom, women need to be warmed up first, they need constant foreplay.

>>34258887

had a situation with a female corworker where she talked with a other coworker how she liked me and would have married me if she wasnt married, she even told me herself but i kinda kept it playful flirty never overcommitted in any sense even got her to tell me "she loves me" which she backtracked and even tried to make a nothingburger out of afterwards. But now somehow she is trying to make me look like a simp and idk how to get out of the situation without looking bitter even tho i was playing along anyways.

I guess they hate when you do the same bs to them which they do to others

>>34272813
>he faltered
He asked her out, what was he supposed to do? He did everything right and still failed?

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>>34273381
OP and this girl have been flirting for almost two years and she basically says "too bad you aren't fucking me right now" and he hesitates and doesn't escalate, the next day she says she has no v-day plans and OP hesitates again. She's been throwing this dude alley-oops for two years and he's standing around with his hands in his pocket. The last two interactions she's screaming fuck my pussy and ask me out on a date for the holiday and OP is showing that he's just not that into her. Even if he is, all he's doing is showing that he's a bit slow on the uptake, or too cautious, and this will probably cause issues later on if she wanted a serious relationship.

>>34258887
have you talked to her since? is she acting the same or did she change?

>>34273900
>cont.
You guys gotta understand that this is just biologically how most (not all) women function in life and when trying to find a mate. They are not going to out right ask a guy out. They are going to hint at it. The dating app Bumble tried this and realized it was a failed business model because women don't even want to initiate, they don't want hard power (leading), they crave soft power (influence). The biggest thing women want is to feel desired. OP is desiring her with a 24 hour delay it seems. In her mind she's probably his back up plan or second pick, another girl turned him down so he came back to her after she's been propositioning him forever.

>>34273924
She approached me very shyly blushing like crazy asking me if I was mad at her, told her no since by then I'd gotten over it a little bit, then we joked around again, she gave me the same bit where she said "you wanna fight?" and I just ignored her, she then sighed and said I was confusing, then when she came back from the restroom she asked her friend in a very loud voice "[her friends name] what do you do when a guy you like doesn't do anything?", her friend murmured something I couldn't quite hear and then she said "I think he knows by now" and then I walked away to do other things. Later I told her she was all talk and no action as I entered the the walk in and she loudly exclaimed "EXCUSE ME?!" and when I came back out she said "I HEARD THAT YOU KNOW" but she offered no rebuttal, then I texted her a song and she kept sending short replies so I just cut the conversation short and left her on seen. She also claimed that she wasn't just another hoe and that she was waiting for the right guy to come along so that the emotional connection would be real, which confused me since she was practically telling me she was dtf so if she really wasn't a hoe why tease me like that and then reject my proposal?
>>34273900
The no v-day plans and the "fuck me" comment took place on the same day, technically she really did have something to do that day so there's no issue there, the issue was she didn't try rescheduling, but as you said, I should have pressed harder since after all, I am the man, I've just never encountered a girl who shows interest then acts weird the minute I do ask her out..

>>34274217
She's just a weirdo, anon. Accept the "fight" don't actually be a retard and fight her, she just wants to be manhandled, pick her up, spin her around, throw her over your shoulder, give her a playful smack on the ass. And again, don't ask her out, you have to tell her to come out somewhere with you. "I'm going to X place, come with me" have plans for privacy, one on one time, after you go to X place or event. If this doesn't work then just ignore her and move on.

>>34274217
this may sound like absolute insanity but why not try talking to her? explain everything directly, no ambiguity and hopefully she will reciprocate, if it goes south at least you'll know she is fucking crazy or get an explanation and can move on

maybe "fight" is a code for fuck or something? did she ever tell you or insinuate that?

>>34274328
>>34274574
>>34274636
I asked her out again via text and she basically said no and there's a good chance we'll never see each other after she leaves, so yeah, either I fucked up by waiting too long or straight up saying she wants to fuck still isn't a sign she's into you.

>>34277504
yes you waited too long, sucks.
there will be more women, anon, better women
now you know what to do for the next one

>>34277691
Well there's also this little tidbit I forgot to add, not sure if it matters but she's also a Jehovah's witness.

>>34277700
lol I don't think it does? I dated a Jehovah's Witness too. Her religion never came up in our day to day lives.

>>34277707
I was under the impression they couldn't date outside of their religion because it can lead to them being kicked out of the church or something, well then I guess I just fucked up.

>>34277748
They can date outside of their religion. It depends on how involved they are, just like any religion, even typical Protestants and Catholics, if they're with a non-believer there will be some pressure to get them to convert, especially for marriage, but if she's not very involved and just goes to Kingdom Hall because that's what she and her family has always done then it's a non-issue.

>>34277700
>she's also a Jehovah's witness.
so, the bitch is crazy. got it.

>>34259202
You should always say stuff like "Eh, it's complicated." and leave it at that.

>>34260989
>can't argue against any points made so go search for typos instead
pathetic and small