It's 2am, can't sleep because I'm thinking of how to kill myself later today.I don't really understand, for 30 years I've only done what was expected of me, but nothing works, dropped out of college because of covid and multiple supervisors ghosting me for years, fired or quit wagie jobs, got pay docked for standing up for myself and for not doing it too, no charisma, no good looks for social media, not good at music or art, mediocre at video games and I get excluded from online communities often because of my race. Worst of all, I'm a shitty midwit.I live alone with my father that has Alzheimer's, money comes from his savings, is there rhyme or reason to living like this?, I hate everything, I hate life, I hate people, I despise going out and talking to others I don't know what I want. I can't even muster emotion anymore, not even faking it, me me me me me who the fuck is me???? 4chan at least knows how a misanthrope like me should end up like, right?????
Listen you’re going through it right now, but ending things might be not the best decision. Sometimes therapy really helps. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you’re not really going at anything, try to do something that makes you feel better or just feel good.
>>34265176>I've only done what was expected of me>dropped out of college>fired or quit wagie jobs>got pay docked >no charisma>not good at music or art, >mediocre at video gamesIt's hard to believe that all those failures were "what was expected of you"
>>34265176Please don’t kill yourself. You matter to me. Try to get some sleep. You deserve it. The things you mentioned are things you can have control over.
