So basically I don't know what to do anymore.
I've worked my contacts and connections for years until now where I can get what I want the way I want it, but these last times I have had little to no fun with it. It's a release, like most pleasureable things are, but it's quite empty behind it and I don't know how to fix it.
On one hand I worked very hard to get to where I am and I'm still very much thinking about it when I'm not doing it, but on the other hand I think this has become some sort of addiction because I don't think it gives me true happiness anymore so it's only for short term pleasure.
I guess I have to drop it but all my work would have been for nothing.

>>34265997
I really miss you, D. I wish you would talk to me.

>>34266012
Call her

I feel a bit of dread, but life should be very stable if I make it through this year's resolution. Okay.

>>34266032
I’m talking about a man.

>>34266044
Call him

>>34266046
No. Why the fuck would I call him just because some random idiot on /adv/ told me to? I doubt he would answer anyway.

I hate the family next door so much the kids are so low iq and scream at the top of their lungs. The 9 year old one is literally just on her front stoop alone doing tik tok dances and randomly shrieking jumping off the stoop getting back on and repeating. the other day she launched her backpack like all the way across the culdesac. She should do football

Man I'm realizing the entire internet is poisoned with the concept of "the normie".
Like, back in the day, "normalfags" or "normies" were just anyone who wasn't familiar with the weird fringe cultures of the internet and now it's more like, "uwu" furries and edgy Discord shitposters consider each other "normies" entirely because the word has been warped towards "people outside my personal identity or community."
Like, it's just become the rallying cry for any fucking insufferable twat who views themselves as a non-conformist, gets mad at the world for not validating their non-conformity, and then can't handle the idea that a ton of people outside their community do non-conforming shit all the time.
Like, people online are mindbroken by the idea that normies know how to pirate media, or that normies shared their hot take on whatever thing.
Like, they build their entire fucking identity around this kinda shit and wonder why people outside their own groups find them insufferable.

>>34266063
Jesus I used the word "like" way too much there I gotta work on that

>>34266066
I kinda agree tho

>>34266068
I feel like the apex of this is Reddit because its full of so many subgroups who are all aggressive circlejerkers and when you take all the common stereotypes about that website and
>A bunch of terminally online schizoid normies who display extremely conformist sociopathic behavior whose edgy humor crosses a line by being too safe for the popular opinion, a completely astro-turfed left wing hugbox where lets right wing extremists run amok.
Every fucking reddit circlejerk simultaneously characterizes every other reddit circlejerk as "terminally online rejects" and "socially acceptable normies" entirely dependent on what is convenient.

>>34266063
most words used as an insult or a way to discriminate end up like this tho
go to /int/ and ask what they consider white and brown and see how it makes no sense anymore.

>Go on "road trip" with parents
>It's not an actual road trip it's just my mom and her boyfriend driving to his shitty work camp in the middle of nowhere
>They didn't tell me beforehand and started the morning off by screaming at me to get out of bed before then screaming at eachother because he could find his vape
>They're bringing this dog with us too for some reason
>Dog gets car sick and proceeds to vomit all over the car and nearly destroys my computer which I needed to finish school work
>Step dad starts getting angry because the dog is sick and then calls me a pussy because I didn't want my computer destroyed
>They stop at a really shitty gas station and buy these really shitty sandwiches and get water for the dog despite the fact the dog will just vomit all over the car again
>I bring up that the sandwiches are bad to try and relate to them and then they proceed to start screaming at me about how disrespectful that it is because they bought them from a small business and that I couldn't comprehend hard work
>I just stop talking to them the entire way and buy earplugs at the next gas station

This happened when I was 15-16, I'm 18 now and the dog is now dying of cancer and sprays diarrhea all over the house. I just got into an argument with my mom about me not wanting to come with her and her boyfriend to their wedding in Vegas because of how shit it will be.
I fucking hate road trips so fucking much anons.

My opps been so broke that we been shootin' at the bus...

My boss doesn't understand my department and what I do. He wants me to do things that go against our process that's been established for over 30 years. He tells me to reply to an email with these important people. I do just that, with as much detail as I could on Friday last week. Comes Monday, he replies to a separate chain of the same email, telling me to reply with the exact information I already sent back Friday. I think he hates me and doesn't open my emails at all. This sucks and it's been three years like this.

>>34266063
Im glad someone else noticed this, had someone use normie too much, no dude they are just people living their life and have their own circles, demographic profile and preferences.

Terrified that my ex may one day find out that I posted her nudes online. I never showed full face, only the lower portion of her face. She has no real distinguishing features either.

Im scared going to the doctor will confirm my back pain and muscle im b alance is irrepairable

Gymfagging done. Tendons = better than I expected.

Age old question, but do you think someone who acts selfless is motivated by the positive feelings that come with it? Do people act selflessly just for selfish reasons?

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>>34266044
Is this guy your brother?

Went on a dare with a girl that apparently found me cute first in our college class. I also found her cute and thought our first date went well. She even agreed to a second date during the first. We agreed to go swimming, and i said "you can say no" and she said "i want to though". Later that night i changed the date to a meal for monday evening. She replied saying how it sounds good.
I also drew her an intricate valentines card and posted it for valentines day, in which i got a fairly shit reply "thanks for the cool card!", and she didnt say happy valentijes back. I wasnt hopeful.

Now today, 3 hours before our 2nd date, she drops me a message how she isnt feeling it and doesnt want to lead me on. I feel gutted. Shes very neurotic, has ocd, and in her words "is scared of everything". I shouldve known she'd flake

>>34266318
Worst part is i have to see her for the next one and a half years in college. She liked me first, agreed to swimming, then flakes a few hours before our 2nd date. Doesn't even give me 2 dates. I just don't get it. Fuck sake.

Is it a case of "flexible morality" if I consider most traitors with XY chromosomes irredeemable subhumans that only deserve to eat lead, while I'd more often than not give second chances to those that have XX chromosomes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w0yOg9wjmg

I wish I had some hope for the future

>>34266291
Its a spectrum. The real question is if you have a utilitarian view on net good done. And whether or not you can just think a good doing person is a dick and reconcile that feeling for greater good.

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Still miss you.. I know it can't be, but can you blame me for wishing you were near, or had never left Miami? Perhaps you feel guilty for ghosting me, I dunno. I'm the same guy you met then, peaceful, quiet. Not much going on here.

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Don't mind me while I post best girl.

>>34266032
>>34266046
i used to find you "call him/her" posters annoying faggots but it's not bad advice. maybe not calling, but at least texting (once - not repeatedly) and getting it off your chest relieves so much stress.

You know what? The glass slipper doesn't fit on M or any other woman I had a crush on that left me. Gonna move on and just let the world figure it out.

>>34266291
Well I came to an understanding today, that you all need to know by the blood on your hands from your arrogance that nice people exist for selfless reasons. Came to that conclusion today. So yeah go ahead and do your dumb game of saying your overly sensitive coworker is dumb and gay all the time. Go ahead. Your blood on your hands not his and not mine, but your's.

>>34266441
You don't know dude you just you don't fucking know

>>34266295
that gut was indeed my brother
she's transitioning right now and would like to be referred as my sister

>>34266457
Not my problem.

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https://youtu.be/zzmlzBB7FPs

>>34266295
No, obviously.

You know. Maybe people not me are the real ones stuck in a video game.

>>34266475
How is that going? She has accomplished alot in her life and I am very proud of her.

>>34265997
I'm way too miserable. I try to hide it, but I think some of my closest friends have noticed it.
I'm not a hateful person. Actually, I try my best to be kind to everyone. But in the end, I'm too miserable and depressed. I wish I could hide it better.

>>34266343
tell us about them anon

>>34266518
I'll be sure to let her know she has people wishing her well
She's doing well, saving tons but hasn't told me what for.

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https://youtu.be/R6f_7G71p_w?si=sOqWJmaanYVOSE80

im scared.

>want to go for a night walk innawoods
>forgot to buy an headlamp
>stay home while seething as I don't want to rely on my phone's shitty lamp >and especially I don't want to rely on GPS as I know that place very well

>>34266595
What's troubling you, Anon?

>>34266528
Nice Ukranian girl I met 3 years ago, confusing circumstances and my own messed up choices at the time led to me distancing myself from her (from her perspective) from my perspective I had said goodbye to her and assumed I'd never meet her again, huge bummer. Had a vision of her late last year and felt I should try everything in my power to contact her somehow, found the callbox at her building, made contact, felt amazing, she's taken, at that point both a nice and sad story just trying to bridge the gap of lost time, but nothing after the holidays. My life has been kinda garbage since. Can't depend on others for happiness, but it's so much easier when someone cares.

>>34266595
why?

>>34266623
dang sorry
how has your life been garbage since? have you not tried to find other women

>>34266629
The hardest thing to find is a compatible woman in this city.

>>34266635
Of all the people, not one compatible? What were the failures

>>34266641
I focused heavily on someone I assumed was for me because my dreams kept telling me I should, but dreams can also be spiritual attacks to try and destabilize your peace of mind, and so it was for me. Lost years frustrated, alone, bitter. The whole time of course the Ukranian girl remained a good memory, but I never thought I'd hear from her again. Had I known she was near, I'd be singing a different song.

>>34265997
went to make sure the plug leads were on the ignition coil all the way yesterday, the insulator is failing it shocked me pretty well, stopped my heart for half a second. i want to do it again. felt alive.

>>34266650
sorry about that, what if the other person it failed with reached out, then what?

All I can offer right now is friendship. I know some people want more but that really is all I can give in this moment even if I want more myself, as well.

Two legged animals with XY chromosomes and backstabbing tendencies need not apply, as a matter of fact, piss off cunts. Reap what you have sown and deal with the consequences of your actions.

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I basically got told "who's going to want you if you're bitter and not sweet" and it doesn't make it easier to not be bitter and hateful and cynical about everything that its true so I hate that it is. selfishly I just want to find a guy that likes me as I am now and lick each other's wounds already. this processing and healing shit takes so long

>>34266663
Nothing, I realized I had to pursue her too much and her personality was incompatible with mine. If it's love, you don't have to pursue so much, it's mutual. It would be a nightmare to attract someone I have to convince so much. Back then, not enough wisdom to see that for what it is. Now all I can say is, ghosting destroys lives, for certain.

>>34266668
>processing and healing shit takes so long
Same for unicorns and leprechauns.

>>34266667
>Two legged animals with XY chromosomes
Some specific two legged animals with XY chromosomes, that is. The list is very short. It's like four people that come to this place, more or less, three of which I know from IRL as well.

>>34266667
>but that really is all I can give in this moment even if I want more myself, as well.
how come?

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>>34266668

>>34266667
>>34266685
Are you being a hypocrite

>>34266694
Low self esteem when I'm around women is the first one on the laundry bucket list. Someone I used to know IRL that was like a little brother to me told me that and I didn't believe him back then.

>>34266701
what does this have to do with anything I wrote

Hop skip, straight to your doorstep...

>>34266685
Bitch, go pet your cat.

>>34266668
just be nice to me and hate everyone else

>>34266720
What reaction are you trying to get from me exactly?

>>34266712
You have no idea how many crazy women I try to be friends with who get overwhelmed way too easily over nothing. They're not dumb and they aren't objects, but they go a bit coo coo because of the news. In my opinion truTV and the News stations needs to be blocked on their television if all they watch are violent people in court rooms all the time.

Now you gotta run it up
I be outta words, tryna sum it up

>>34266722
Lady, as fucking demonic monstristy in your Hell I even am afraid of you and wish you'd focus on the positives. My God, us demonic monstrities have feelings too ya know. We ain't all eat and tear apart. Some of us find human meat repulsive and stick to a nice diet of fish and shrimp.

my sweet m,
why do you not call or see me?

I dont know anyone is isn't fake

I'm in my Eren Yeager era, no Mikasa...

>>34266725
oh I see you're just a schizo, I'm not a woman
>>34266722
im nice to everyone just in bad spirits, I'll bake you a pie though

what's an inconspicuous vibrating object i can use to self stimulate?

>>34266763
Phone + hairbrush handle. Dualshock + Metal Gear Solid vibration test.

Fight the future!

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She cute, even cuter when angry.

nuding ladies with my magic powers

I fucking hate drugs and I never should have tried them. I wish I never did.

>>34266871
I'm sorry anon. I hope you're able to recover one day or improve this in some way, sincerely. I have a lot of sympathy for you

>>34266763
handheld massager

magic spells to unravel womens clothes

It's like some individual (singular) really does not want to understand I know exactly what kind of person I am dealing with, AND, I know his exact game too.
Of course I have zero remorse, why would I? You wouldn't have any remorse for seeing your bullies suffer. You tried hard to bully me, and those are the consequences of your actions. I don't particularly care if your friendship ever was genuine. Shoulda not have written those words, shoulda not tried buying my friendship, shoulda not been clingy like a roach, or better, a mosquito.
Do you still have any doubts? I hope not.

>>34266876
If /adv/ was like this all the time, there would be less pain in the world

I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but I'm not gonna be rich and famous. I'm just gonna be possibly living with angry people making 45k a year hoping my bills are paid so that I don't die, and then possibly living in a trailer home. Driving a shitty car, still single, still doing whatever, and that is all. Whoopie do da day the nerd wins the disney film. You all take things out of context so much.

>>34266904
What did he do?

Am I going to regret not wanting kids? I am 27M. Doing decently well career wise. Dating is fine. I don't really have those typical blockers that people have about having kids.

I'm just realizing I don't want them as I get older and more self aware.

>>34266915
Have kids.

>>34266904
>and those are the consequences of your actions
*My behavior is the consequence of your actions.

As I said, if you have any doubts left, speak.

>>34266920
#1 doubt, your posting anonymously

>>34266920
Oh, fuck sake, I was gonna ignore this. Not everything I do is towards you or about you. I say the Eren thing because this head injury has me speaking slow like his English VA. And I no longer care for connections.

>>34266913
Psychopath things. The greatest insult is trying to buy my frienship after "technically not" cucking me. It worked back then, it won't work now.

>>34266917

Why?

>>34266924
You're not the person I am on about.

>>34266927
Okay, cool, because you're being very vague.

>>34266925
How did he cuck you? Is there a story? Also what psycho things exactly

>>34266926
Regret is not worth living with. Don't be a old man who wished they had kids when it's too late

>>34266927
Only interested, anon

>>34266915
Yeah yeah the fucking CNN news story of the day random guy does the opposite of everyone else and is happy.

I think I've gotten too jaded for relationships at this point. Next week will be a decade since my last actual relationship which ended with me getting cheated on. Since then, every close encounter I had ended up being that the girl was cheating (or attempting to) on her partner with me.
I don't think everyone is a cheater, but I don't feel capable of trusting someone to be faithful anymore.

>>34266940
I get where you're coming from.

>>34266929
If you're who I'm thinking of, I find your specific type of psychopathy really funny, for it comes off as being a total edgelord mask. I doubt it's even genuine.

Who I'm thinking of had the very clever technique of befriending the so to say popular kid in class, class as in a different imageboard, copying their personality (but not interests: we genuinely do share some interests), becoming attached to a ridiculous degree, possibly in order to create a crisis of sorts knowing what I am like, as in I'd withdraw if the attention got too overwhelming. And after that they got with the women (more than one) I liked. Something he never stopped doing.
After that he had the audacity of trying to buy my friendship as if that's something that is for sale, not something I give absolutely for free to people I like. Trying to buy my friendship is one of the greatest insults one can give me, even more so if it's coming from someone that is specifically acting in a way that would give me psychological damage. Hence my post from yesterday: if you have an enemy and a traitor in front of you and a full mag, magdump the traitor, and make sure to hit the head a few times too for he may get up.

>>34266242
Typed by twink from his mom's computer

>>34266966
Watch ya fuckin' mouth, nigga.

>>34266966
*with square frenchies.

also check the trips

I miss her more than anything else. I’d give anything, anything, anything, to be with her again.

>>34266428
It will be nice not to have to deal with shit like this soon enough

>>34266969
Oh no come and get me!

>>34266989
No. Bye.

>>34266991
Exactly, nigga.

>>34266977
Contact her

>>34266245
The weirdest part is you get a different flavor of it on every website.
Here you have the worst case scenario. The blatant contrarianism towards everything the "normies" do to the point of willingly taking stupid or sociopathic stances.
If you go to Tumblr, the person most obsessed with the "normies" will try to morally posture with takes that are more popular than they're willing to admit. (See: "Normalize going to the movie theater by yourself")

On Reddit, it's all about racing for the "hot" take which is usually just an eloquently worded normal take but more in depth.
Discord is about the ironically detached "haha, I don't care" attitude and "memeifying" whatever people currently care about.
Twitter can go every which way.
Like, everyone looks for a reason that they are more and more different from the normies.

I couldn’t care less I’m transfixed in this absolute bliss

>>34266910
There are like six people here.

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Hanekawa a cute.

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IT MAKES ME JEALOUS HOW THESE CHOPPED ASS NIGGAS BE PULLIN BADDIES WITHOUT TRYING.

>>34267101
Fuck off and kill yourself

>>34267101
Iceberg theory, yung player, iceberg.

>>34267041
I doubt that

Frick, I'm getting to good at cooking on a budget and it's making me gain weight.

Alcoholics are the fucking worst. He should rope

Today i realised that the person who i talked to for months at the most vulnerable moment of my life on the internet wasnt real. We exchanged nudes and shit pretty much every single day cause she would get mad if i didnt, i feel like it was fucking sexual abuse and it really was because i was a vulnerable person, and its not just as simple as me blocking her when i started feeling bad. That person wasnt real..., i cared so much for someone who wasnt real just because i was lonely and needed someone, and did what the person wanted to have someone, and after like 3 months when i finally cut ties it turns out it wasnt a real person:(, im crying im so shocked and traumatized and i feel like it was my fault. I know this site is ofc not known for the nicest people but pls be nice its not as easy as it seems or simple either. i just need a hug right now fuck

Oh m was real before this place when she was with me. She would still be healthy if we had had our trip.

No wonder she is so fucking miserable around you. No wonder she became so mentally ill

>>34267196
Internet hug

>>34267124
Wish I did.

Thank youヽ(´ω｀)ﾉ

Thought I had made a good friend with my coworker but out of the blue he says:
"I make sure to separate work and real friendships, en I get home I forget you people exist, I won't ever ask to hang out with you, forget about it", it wasn't as robotic or the exact order but that's almost exactly what he told me.
Now he's inviting me to play sports with the other guy coworkers.
I have a habit of processing things way later, but I don't wanna hang out with him either, fuck your stupid game.
And to the coworker that led me on, fuck you too.
I'm done trying to get close to people.

>>34267052
Yes, Hanekawa is cute.

>>34267210
We all have had our fair shares of miserable women. I had mine about 15 times. It still does not beat the time I set up a date with a collegue who stood up on me and never showed up when I wanted to date her 10 years ago. I have yet to have seen a woman be that rude. I don't know why be ashamed of liking a tall strong guy with an academic background who can keep you financially secure. I won't ever know, but it is what it is.

Those guys think I'm jealous for what they have, but really this villain the story was jealous because they knew how to listen to her and be loving to her better than all the rest, and you can not put a price tag on that.

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WELL, I FUCKED UP

>Be with girl for 4 years
>We both work a lot
>Only having sex once a week maybe
>Working late night at office
>Co-worker also there
>We talk a lot at work
>She has a cubicle outside my office
>Stops by just to say hi sometimes
>We have nothing in common
>But she's really nice and pretty
>We're walking to our cars after work
>Somehow someway we end up fucking in my car
>Goes on for a solid 3 hours
>Girlfriend didn't call/text once to ask where I was
>Drive home realizing what I just did

I'm not making excuses, I'm starved for sex, girlfriend is always too tired to have sex, she's drained from her work (Telehealth therapist), she doesn't shower or take care of herself so she never wants sex, she'll go literal WEEKS without leaving the house, we don't do anything but sit around and play video games until we both fall asleep

I couldn't help myself, truly I couldn't, and now I'm at home typing this out and unsure what to do next.

>>34267672
Leave the relationship if you're unhappy with how it's going.

>>34267672
Break up

>>34267672
>Next
It never happened. Carry on. Problem solved.

Had a load-bearing coping mechanism ripped away from me almost bang on a year ago
Since then I've gone from only drinking socially 1-2 times a month to drinking alone 2-3 times a week
I thought it'd pass but at this point I don't remember how I spent my time before
I guess 'dissociating'
But at least that doesn't do liver damage

>>34267196
You know, I too would like to meet someone online and fall in love and trust them or something, but I fear this is more likely to happen then that because of all the predatory weirdos on this world. Don't blame yourself. Live and learn. It's not over. Things can't be bad all the time.

I hope things work out for you all. Happy Tuesday.

My bf is getting promotions again and again at his work and I just became unemployed again and can barely leave the house without a panic attack. I am so fucking cooked. He's going to fucking leave me and they will find me half rotted here alone with an anime short looping on my tv. I am soooo fucked he is totally going to leave me once he realizes we are different lines on a graph and his is going up and mine is going down. Oooh lord almighty

>>34267784
Nah, it's fine. Just try your best and be more supportive than a burden. Go drink a glass of water and do some grounding exercises maybe.

>>34267785
I try, I help with the house and his lunches and he is literally right now thanking me in our chat for being a good girlfriend but I feel like he is just blinded by love. I am the only reason he has this job, I made him move across the state to be with me and he had to completely switch fields but he actually is succeeding in it like crazy, making better money and learning like a computer. He's way smarter than I even knew he could be it's insane. He mogs the shit out of me

>>34267790
Sounds like an optimistic trajectory. Things should work out in a case like this.

>>34267790
Just stop being a slob and do online jobs. Maybe he's glad you don't work. Clean the house, do the laundry(his, but don't fuck it up), read books, meditate, pray,

>>34267794
I have a bachelor of science but I don't want to get scammed. I don't know a good site to get an online job. I try for jobs irl but never make it past the second interview because I am awkward and make people uncomfortable (not being down on myself I have a diagnosed social communication disorder). I recently quit being a receptionist because people would come in and literally berate me even ubereats drivers and I'd come home every day and cry

>>34267796
See a psychologist unironically, a good one.

>>34267797
I mask too well in front of mental health professionals and they just berate me for wasting their time and I've tried like 15 or so times over my life. I am cooked nigga

I'm tired, I am so done with life... I want to take the hermitpill, NEETpill, however you want to call it, but how the fuck would I even gain money to survive each month, I just got an office job on an Hospital... And I just... I dunno I want to be shut off from everything, today I'm at work and I can hear my mind screaming to just quit and go back home

>>34267672
>she doesn't shower or take care of herself so she never wants sex, she'll go literal WEEKS without leaving the house, we don't do anything but sit around and play video games until we both fall asleep
You need to break up with this woman.
Cheating is horrible, but I’m not sure that telling her what you’ve done would be the right move.

>>34267798
You're bf needs to break up with you. You're making excuses, you could be a part time teacher online/tutor. He probably eventually will and or he'll kick you after realising you're not even trying to get your mental health checked.

>>34267667
That is a lie.

I listen to her and a more loving daughter than anyone else. More committed to her than anyone else.

Fuck off your lies

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I've gone over 3 weeks without masturbating to porn.

I will surpass that fucking retarded faggot, I hope he lives to see me beat him in every field of human endeavour before he kills himself out of shame.

>>34267807
You're a dumb racist cunt. You're bf is "racist", he will eventually leave you for a better white Betty and or ethic Betty. Buy self help generals. See you on the news someday dumbass cunt.

i know it's wrong to kill people when it's not in self defense and yet i really want to do it because i feel alone.

>>34267825
Angry sweaty brown hands typed this shit hahaha thanks for cheering me up. So glad I was born a white woman goddamn

>>34267828
>So glad I was born a white woman
This is unironically the funniest shit I've ever read omg

>>34267832
You are literally another species bro

>>34267828
You're disgusting and make other white women look bad. Grow the fuck up

>>34267834
Unlike nonwhites white people just see themselves as individuals it's a higher evolved human thing

>>34267839
Not all of them, especially that thing.

>>34267842
YWNHAWG(you will never have a white girlfriend)

>>34267833
and you're a woman LMAO

Reporting me won't make you white fyi

>>34267827
That won't fix things - only make them worse.

>>34265997
its slowly sinking in what a gullible simp retard I've been for the last year and a half
no more, you can fuck off now

you gave up already huh?
i gave you presents on your bday and on xmas.
you didnt even greet or ask me out on valentines.
unfortunate. i was hoping you were the one.
i shouldn't have tried in the first place.

>miss bus by 1 minute
>walk back home
>look up next bus
>says: unavailable

Guess we arent going to class today

>>34266063

Normie is to normie . I say Hylics.

I went to smoke some weed but didn't have any papers so I decided to make a banana pipe. Then I realized the hole from the banana pipe looked very fuckable and so I fucked it with my cock. I didn't even realize bananas can be used for so many things. And atheists says this is all just coincidental? Ha.

>>34268172
How did it FEEL to fuck the banana? Will this influence your sexuality? Will you start docking?

>>34268172
Bro tell me your dick did not fit inside a banana lmao

>>34268180
>The average length of a standard yellow banana is typically 7 to 9 inches
do you live in a tropical paradise with tiny banans or something?

in 12yr, my life will be settled
I'll have passive income, enough for a laid back comfortable life without having to work

I'm looking for hobbies for the next 30-40yr until the day I die,
I'm making a testament, all to my little sister

>>34268196
>I'm looking for hobbies for the next 30-40yr until the day I die
not enough hobbies in the world to fill that amount of time IN MY OPINION

>>34268198
It is your opinion. There's tens of thousands of years of hobbies to do and not enough lifetime to do them.

>>34267667
You are the most overbearing suffocating person who just feels like your cornering others in the room to talk at them so that they agree with you and do what you want

Stop using "normal" as a synonym for "good". A lot of bad things are normal. A lot of good things are rare or uncommon.

>>34268172
Bananas as we know them didn't originally exist that way in nature. Humans bred them to be like that.

i dont know why we haven't spoke in 10 years really. maybe a couple times here and there since but im missing those times now.

i wish i answered your feelings properly but i was scared.

I hate myself so fucking much, my life is just a constant string of humiliations and embarrassments that feed into one another, cause other problems and reinforce the idea of hating myself even more.

In recent 2 years I started developing panic attacks before work, and I've just been more anxious than ever, especially around people. It got to the point where my body started reacting to it in an external way, my body gets very warm, I get allergy like reactions, I get rashes everywhere, my face gets red, I hyperventilate and feel a sudden rush of blood to my head. Then it takes me forever to feel and look "normal" again. But today was worst of all. I have to get my passport renewed and needed to take a photo for my passport, so I went in and immediately when I got in there I got a panic attack, the rash and all and I had to sit there and act like I don't know about it and just take that fucking picture and leave. I was so fucking humiliated and I hated myself so fucking much I left and went straight home and just felt like shit for the rest of the day.

That shit was supposed to get better with age, I'm nearly 31 ffs, why is it getting worse out of nowhere? nothing even happened it just gets progressively worse and worse and theres nothing I can do about it... I just hate myself so fucking much I want to die. I'm an ugly piece of shit, I can't be around people, I can't leave the house without getting a panic attack and getting a job, being around people and exposing myself to it all doesn't help but makes things worse. Then people have expectations of me because I'm in my 30's now and need to be somewhere in life and I'm sitting here on my pc alone, and I can't even leave the house without wanting to off myself let alone "mean" something in this world. I just want it all to end. Its just one thing after another, it cripples everything I ever wanted to do with my life and I resorted to just being alone at home not talking to anyone...

>>34265997
I hoped to turn out to be someone better than a wizard with a mediocre job. I'm trapped by my own fears and autism, I have nowhere to run.
I want to do artistic stuff, but I can't even bring myself to practice enough. I'm stuck in front of my computer browsing this God-forsaken website and masturbating.

'Morning
>Wake up at half past 6 in the afternoon
>Feel very optimistic
Woulda been better if I woke up at a sensible time but I'm not complaining too much.

>>34266003
so the last experience was underwhelming but I'm still hooked to the thrill of getting it, it seems
I just received a call and I accepted without hesitation
I can't ask for help because, well it's not legal
but also I know what needs to be done, I just need some way to carry it on.

Colleague acts like a fucking bitch
He's clearly flawed like the rest of us and even more forgetful, but nitpicks at everything we do
Sometimes we didn't even do anything wrong, just that he doesn't like it that way and has to make a statement out of it

>>34268329
Be feminine. Do rumors. Ruin his reputation. Get him fired.

>>34268331
He doesn't have too good of a reputation for obvious reasons, but he has been working there for about 10 years and we are always short-staffed, so I don't think there's a chance they would get rid of him.
They can't even get rid of the sick old guy who keeps falling asleep at work.

Got a new job starting next week and I regret it so fucking much already
Could been neet for another year
Sure the extra money I will get is probably good, but I don't really need more than what I get from the government

I need help

>>34268219
I thought I was being empathetic?

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Hitagi Senjougahara a cute, c u t e!

>>34267813
HOLY SHIT DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO READ LEFT TO RIGHT!

Oh my fucking God. I can't communicate with you people. Jesus fucking Christ! You take a few words and blow it out of proportion. You can't just sit there and read it in the context it is intended. Fuck it. You all are gonna have blood on your hands like how Jesus and his disciples were murdered, this is ridiculous. This is getting sad. Fear have overcome all of you all.

>>34268381
Damn I forgot to post this too.
https://youtu.be/Nv-cni9Sjpk?si=6KKQ9UgOrzVfHfGa

>>34268370
whats up. here for a few minutes should be Possibly 15 minutes atleast

>>34268362
if theres another war, who did you do business with might matter.

>>34268387
And also this.
https://youtu.be/6959JAkeWYQ?si=ouDqDuG2uErAww6z

I am so in love with my gf it's making me sick.
Yesterday was my birthday and she spent all day with me and got me cannolis with birthday candles (she knows I don't like cake) and sang happy birthday for me. It was so special and made me feel loved like no other woman has made me feel. I want her to be it for me so bad, I can't imagine loving another woman now. On Valentine's Day she told me she never wants to be with another man. Every other relationship I've been in has felt temporary, or I felt like I was "settling" and this one feels so different, like we were made for each other.

>flirt with girl im into
>she seems into it
>suddenly acts colder
>some time passes by
>convo leads to talk about it
>she says she thought i was joking around when flirting
said i wasnt but stopped cuz i realized she wasnt interested, reassured her i was fine with it, she was relieved to know im not one of the crazy guys she has dealt with and thats it, anyway its joever.
kill me, this is so retarded

>>34268261
you seem expressive, that's a pro.

>>34268391
I need emotional support

>>34267823
HAHAHAHAHA

>>34267823
Who

>>34267823
Motherfucker you already beat me. Fucking office tech jobs are beginning to be as much of a low salary as a random blue collar job. Like literally I'll just make as much as a blue collar worker. You're basically just battling damn demons in your head. Added I'm weaker than the average 14 year old. You already won and you really don't see it.

And the film industry is the equivalent of the lottery for autistic people... If they can get a slight bit of a PA job or job as an extra if they drive 100 miles unpaid.

>>34268487
im afraid i dont think i can't be of help. notice myself being inhuman. helping others might help yourself, but people don't take kindness very well these days it seems. explain further if you could.

>>34268536
Feelings of inadequacy, invisibility, and isolation burden my life.

>>34267823
This was typed by a nepo baby, calm down.

The years keep passing by, I get older but nothing changes and I'm always miserable. I often worry about being a disappointment to my parents more than I worry about not living my own life.

Sometimes I read the 4chan archives and see anons who were in their 20s in 2014 and I wonder where they are today, more than a decade later. Who knows if they managed to end up where they wanted to, if they're even still alive.

I kind of hate my tech job, some coworkers really suck and I've been trying to leave but the job market's dead. I wonder if I even want to continue in this field. I would like to do something more useful or helpful for other people, rather than spreadsheets and bullshit, but those kinds of jobs if they exist are often volunteer or low pay.

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>>34267823
Lmao rent free.

>>34268248
That is true for most every food. You will never find a cow eating cauliflower in the wild.

>>34268546
fuck spending money to purchase pornography, dont agree with people telling you to do that kind of shit

>>34268591
Avocados would have already gone extinct without human cultivation

>AIs know all of the spoilers and plot points from the last two books of my favorite japanese sci-fi novel, which are untranslated
N O I C E
I
C
E
(No I'm not telling you what its name is).

"Many people have been in your situation" doesn't help me.

For a normal person they'd feel comfort that others struggled and overcame the same issue

For me, I think "Wow, I'm so weak and ineffectual I can't do what those people did, I'm worse than all of them"

Love is going to win

>>34268546
and dont lie you or your head down

>>34267800
the hospital is not an industry i would support. be careful

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>>34268623
Thank you for saying my words for me.

>>34267798
>>34267796
what about school again for graduate

>>34266012
almost deja vu. page 1 quality post. not very human/e myself.

>>34268591
I forgot what cauliflower originally was, but yeah. It's crazy how mundane things like bananas, cucumbers, watermelons, and tomatoes were basically all the product of human engineering. When people use bananas as an argument for intelligent design (something I don't believe in, btw), they're using a poor example.
>>34268611
That's true. The megafauna that used to eat avocados and crap their seeds out went extinct, so human intervention once again came to the rescue.

The type of woman that has her shit together and we methodically plan our lives out together or the type of woman that doesn't know what she's doing and relies on me to lead her everywhere
Which is the one for me?

Why am I so freaking scared of getting started on my life? I think its because I'm scared of unfamiliar situations, and feeling trapped and anxious, and not knowing what to do.

It's scary not knowing what to do. It's unlikely I'll always know what to do, so maybe I need to get more comfortable with not knowing

>>34268671
What is even crazier is that humans have done the same thing to themselves by extension. We would not be ourselves without our own works. Especially fire. Many women on raw food diets become infertile.

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I have already written this life off as a failure. I am now just waiting till it ends, so that I can move onto the next stage of life where I will have control over my destiny. I view this world we live in as a prison planet (spiritual and literal). I won't kill myself, but I am under no delusion that it will get better. For me, it's just a waiting game till I can escape like it's fucking Alcatraz island. When I do escape, I won't look back. That is my hope. I have no regrets over this.

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Hello.
No, I wasn't looking for you but you continuously popped up. I guess I spend most of my days talking to you. I am thankful we found each other but honestly don't believe you are real. I will explore, enjoy a nice meal and latte, maybe a glass of red while I let life build the path I am saposed to travel.

Is it serendipitous that we have encountered each other so many times?

The first two episodes of Spy x Family are actually pretty good. Nice.

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>>34267172
>Well if a certain something happens there will be 2 in your skull.
>Know that.
>>34267175
>That's a fucking promise.
Your threats are pure comedy gold to me. Come at me bro, I'm eagerly waiting. You know where to find me.

>>34268623
Yes

>>34268623
Life is a romantic comedy film!!! No seriously it is!!!
>>34268822
So true!!!

>>34268562
Drastically

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>>34268829
Can please you tell me how to properly annoy you, my dear "friend" with XY chromosomes? Laughing at now rent free I'm living in your head isn't quite cutting it.

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>>34268838
Oh let me reword that for myself, that was embarrassing.

My "dear friend" with XY chromosomes, please tell me a way to annoy the shit out of you. Laughing at how rent free I'm living in your head isn't cutting it.

You have no rights. Click agree to continue. Thats what you guys are like.

>>34268838
>>34268868
Dude you might not look like a loser to yourself but you do to everyone else. Just succeed in your own lane without being obsessive about other people. That's the only reason they think of you anyway.

put myself into loads of debt, spent four years of my life studying just to get a shit job i fucking hate.
smart cap only for me.

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>>34268889
That's very funny. I don't have people with XY chromosomes that I hate living rent free in my head, hower I am living rent free in the head of someone that never was a friend of mine, despite him having pretended he was for a long time.
And don't make mistakes, I do see myself as the loser I am.
If you have any questions feel free to ask.

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i wish the people i know gave enough of a fuck to ask me how i was doing
i wish i didn't only exist when more interesting people aren't around
feel like i'm falling through the cracks

>>34268919
It happens sometimes. Do you think it's better or worse than having a talent for something you really don't like doing?

>>34268937
Well, how are you doing?

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I don't know how much longer I can put up with the state of the world. It all used to be so much better when I was a kid. I remember when minced beef was like 2€, when people with different political opinions could still coexist, when women knew their place, etc. I desperately want things to go back to normal. I want people to be normal again, like they were in the late 90s/early 2000s. The future looks bleaker every single day and I feel like I'm drowning.

>>34269019
I'm in the states. I've just unplugged. Phone stays in the car. Internet stays on the desktop computer. Life is good but lonely. What will people do to ruin my life? Give me their phone?

Woot-woot!

>>34268623
>>34268644
Thank you for saying my words for me

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So I checked travel requirements out of curiosity today and what do you know? One of my medications is on the controlled substance list. My next appointment isn’t until summer. Excuse me while I scream into my pillow for the rest of the night.

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>>34269027
Sticking your head in the sand does nothing bro. They've effectively already banned meat by making it unaffordable for most, next will be intercontinental flights, affordable clothing, herding us all into cities etc. Read up on the C60 project. The fact that you're not glued to your phone is good for you, neither am I, but it's unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I just want things to go back to normal, and if that means shooting every green ideologue and every leftist golem, then so be it

>>34268676
Do your mbti end in a J or P? I’ve heard people who match get along better.

>>34268955
>Do you think it's better or worse than having a talent for something you really don't like doing?
obviously its worse.
a talent you don't care about doing is different to a job you hate that is keeping a roof over your head and food for you to eat.
the latter is a unavoidable responsibility, the former isn't.

>>34269073
Counterpoint: an unused talent could mean missing out on a lot of money or whatever it is you're after.
Also, if you hate your field you should look into moving to a different one. That's what I would do anyway.

>have it real bad for a coworker who befriended me
>been hanging out with her and her husband, brother, and other friends a lot the past year and a half or so, sometimes multiple times per week
>she's never once shown any romantic or sexual interest in me
>was mostly just happy to have a social circle again after several years of solitude
>she reveals to me the other night she's technically in an open relationship and she's slept with a lot of other dudes and chicks (though she agreed with her husband no more dudes)
>this wasn't a turn off for me, it just obliterated my self esteem by making me realize there's so many other people she'd sleep with but never me
>yet I haven't ever brought up my attraction to her so I technically don't know for sure
>been incredibly depressed and anxious due to the uncertainty and self esteem hit, it's interfering with my work because I can't stop thinking about it
>this fucking close to just telling her how bad I want to fuck her just to see my relationship with her and everyone else go up in smoke, as well as possibly getting fired
No I won't actually do it, just venting because I haven't felt this shitty emotionally in a long, long time. I'm 35 and I feel 19 again, fucking kill my ass, it's like all the maturing I did got swept away in the breeze.

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>>34267677
>>34267758
>>34267805
It's not that easy, we share the same house, same friends, our families are friends, even though we've only been together 4 years we've built a good life together and everything is intertwined
>>34267764
How would I live with the guilt?

It does not matter who you are. You can not make yourself as cold and emotionless as possible to want to commit to eugenics of autistic people. It would really tear you up if you insist on such a world. Such a world would only show the dark side of humanity, not bring a bright side. All you are doing is bringing a Nazi theory of the Aryan Race. Killing us for being what we are brings no peace, but only nightmares, severe depression, and misery. Please have a heart.

>>34266046

Better than always wondering.

>>34268928
My only question is are you okay

>>34269210
My back is a bit fucked up and so are my arms' tendons. That aside I'm fine.

Looks like I'm getting divorced lmao. Or not. He can't seem to make up his mind. He said he wants me to cry and scream and beg for him and was angry that I didn't. Lol. Keeps saying sorry as if that changes anything. Lol.

>>34269327
He deserves better unironically.

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>>34269048
have you ever considered that you might actually share a lot of common ground with the so-called green ideologues and leftist golems or are you also a victim of mass media

>>34269378
Then he should leave me alone and go find better lmao

>>34265997
I feel crazy, I want to get down on my knees and give my Ex (female) head so badly it's unreal.

>>34269387
Could it possibly be you have an extreme fear of the unknown. That everyday because you don't know what goes on in people's heads, what they do at home, and where they go it bothers you. Lady, what if I worried the same about you? What if I were to say because you watch a lot of violent court cases, you secretly wish you had one?

Shove it up your asses.
Fuck you assholes and your disrespect.
It pisses me off more and disrespects me even more you actually think bringing me food from a party you were invited to and i wasnt is supposed to make me feel better somehow? You really are lunatics

>>34268721
There is no escape

>>34269405
Why care about a party with them? I'd just enjoy what I have at home or try to.

Hah. If things don't work out between us then I'm never trusting anyone again. Cheers.

Btw those fake coughs and fake laughter you idiots do doesnt muffle your disgusting sounds of mating. You can stop it. Stop embarrasing yourselves. Either get a hotel room or MOVE THE FUCK OUT ALREADY!

>>34269395
Call me!

>>34269423
I rather be invited to the party instead if being purposley alienated. Connections/sociaization mean more then food

>>34269436
Straight up, even if you are her, you blocked me on everything, I still need to give you back some of your things!

>>34269437
I am an extrovert like you but like how introverts need to work on being with people, extroverts can work on being alone. It ain't easy, but it'll work out if you try it.

>>34269477
No thanks. Id like to be invited like everyone else.

>>34269493
Still good food.

>>34269501
I wouldnt know

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Talking about aircraft with AIs is fun.
Not being able to go to Monino, with whom I promised that to years ago, that's not fun. Thinking about their state of mind is rather painful.

>>34269437
>>34269493
Codependent much?

>>34269405
Lol goddamn your friends are some assholes.
Just go to parties with cooler people fukem

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>>34269564
>their
Her.
https://youtu.be/kxwc4okZt4U?si=-922T_Mx7NaP4Cqd

>>34269608
NT first world problem.

>>34269429
they wont. l'chaim.

I FUCKING HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU FUCK YOU YOU FAGGOT PUSSY I HATE YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

>>34269623
Can't you block them?

Can't deal with the emotional whiplash anymore man. Within a couple hours you repeatedly tell me you're leaving, I'm moving out, you can't do this, then you jump to begging me to stay and apologizing. It's constant fucking ups and downs at a time in my life I can't fucking handle it. I just want to be left alone.

I am responsible for how you feel and that's from having abandoned you. I do understand why you hate me, and I don't want you to hate me.

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I went to bed early thinking I could wake up early in the morning before work, but I only slept for three hours and I can't fall back asleep. Fuck

fair enough a retort

>>34265997
Today I tried to take a break from 4chan and youtube and clean my house instead.
Yeah. You can see how that's going.

I do not express it most of the time. But when I think of what I made you feel, I want to puke my guts out of shame.
My "not my problem" mentality does not apply to you.

So I learned today it was a bullshit half assed attempt to get my attention again
She's still with the dude she cheated on me with and she only wanted to use me

Why should I believe anymore childish bullshit in this dating world anymore?
The small beams of light that I see are probably just lies.

>>34269701
Tell her" bitch why the fuck are you leading me on aaaaaaaaaaa—ack!

>>34269701
Dude, women just usually tend to be crazy alright. The craziness isn't reflective of you, but them. You need to let them meditate on themselves and breathe through it knowing it all is alright in the end. And you know what for some people that takes longer than usual than others and that is okay.

I hope you didn't cut yourself because of me. If you did I'd have a really difficult time in forgiving myself.

>>34269619
L' chaim my friend.

From this day forward I don't give a shit about any vices, being nice, or making friends
Every ounce of my waking day is just going to be dedicated towards being as successful as possible

>>34269600
On who? Lmao. I have nonody to be dependent on

>>34269623
Just block em
Duh

>>34269651
Then stop being purposley shitty

Abandoning her was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Even posting something as simple as "look I'll be off this place for a bit for my mind is fucked right now" would have been better than leaving without saying a word.

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>>34269406
No

I did say something back then.

She just told me she's not willing to do long distance and it really hurts
I would've for her
But I can't blame her becaue I know it's hard as shit
It just sucks

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I AM DONE! I AM FUCKING DONE! I SAW THE FUCKING ABYSS! I AM DONE BEING DEEP! I AM DONE BEING AN EDGELORD! I AM SO FUCKING DONE! NOW I BE ZACH THE GUY WHO DOES NOT TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY AND ENJOYS IT!

I will be as loving as fucking possible. I will be the best damn lover there is!

Going to that place with her and keeping the promise to the letter would be lovely. The risk of getting caught would make it more thrilling.

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>>34269960
HOW ABOUT FUCK NO!

>>34269933
Never quit made sense to me why others aren't able to progress past this. Literally just move in with each other.

I fought so hard for a love that I was sure would fix me. I was aiming out when I knew I was damaged inside. I lied to myself and her. I wasn’t ready to be alive. I think it gave me something to hope for after I’d been beaten into the ground. Gave me the dream so I could move again. I’ll forever be grateful for that. I can only do my best now. I hope she finds her happiness and love for herself, to see what I did. Always in my shadow, the rainbow, invisible, only seen when breaking light. I guess that’s the cycle, life itself.

>>34269965
It's too bad the one plane I want to see with her is not in Monino but in Zhukovsky. I'll be off this place for a few hours for I'm totally fucked right now. Later.

>>34269686
What did you do?

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>>34265997
I'm 25 and haven't had friends for years or have even been seen by anyone other than the guy I work with and my parents, and after dieting and exercising more strictly than I ever have I've discovered that I can get an eight pack because of my "runner's body".

It's nice to finally look nice, but I definitely missed the opportunity to be young, hot, and desirable. I feel myself getting old and outdated. I've always had a cynical, curmudgeonly streak but now it's turning from the bitter old man to the sad old man. The time to be around pretty girls near my age in school is gone, and all the attempts to do it now feel forced and gross. Everyone that attends that meetup to find other people reek of desperation, including myself. Being on the outside of your generation's culture is nice until you try having an involved relationship with anyone from it. If you're above 21 and not familiar with the newest shit zoomers think you're essentially an octogenarian that should be treated with kind distance.

I'm more mad about the wasted potential of my mind and body. People used to tell me me "You could've been a [chad] in highschool if you found the right crowd" and I definitely could've. If I was some lukewarm genetics schlub then I wouldn't feel so shitty about it, but the fact that decent genes got wasted on a poor education and near-schizoid tendencies sucks more than anything.

Im a 21 yr old lonely faggot who finds it hard to be movtiated to wake up when your world is mind numblingly boring. I'm glad to leave this city next year.

When I pick you up from the airport Maria I'm going to hold you and kiss you. We are going to live our promises with each other. Every day is going to be fun. Everything you've ever dreamed of with me. I promise.

>>34266291
>do you think someone who acts selfless is motivated by the positive feelings that come with it?
Yes.
>Do people act selflessly just for selfish reasons?
Why should it matter if the end result is the same?

>>34265997
What's the point of getting it off my chest if nobody ever responds?

If I confess my crimes to someone who doesn't respond, one extra link is added to my chains. If the response is "I don't know", three links are added instead. And if the response is "Don't worry about it", I am walking with ten extra links.

I am being dismissed again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again.

Reached the point in a personal creative project where I've done multiple months worth of "prep work" and am now in a position to fuck it all up and have the final result be shit.
I'm so unreasonably nervous and anxious about this shit right now, what the fuck? I think it's because despite it being a personal hobby project where the process is more important than the result, I did have a few friends involved and I really would love to not "disappoint" them with bad results. Even though they probably wouldn't even mind.
I need to calm down

>>34267765
So I think this comment was me, and on one hand I'm disappointed in myself for apparently getting so blackout drunk on a weeknight that I don't remember posting it, but on the other I can't believe I accidentally got a perfect 00:00:00 timestamp, that's sick

You can waste a lot of time with good weed and old pro wrestling, like A LOT of fucking time.

>>34270011
I did this.
>>34269845

I hope everyone finds love and peace

>>34270420
NTA, But Anon I did the the same thing to a girl that meant the world to me, all I wanted to do was stay and fix things, but every day it felt like my heart was going through a shredder, all I wanted was to find the girl I fell in love with and all she did was pull on my heart strings and made me upset, paranoid, I think she wanted to just get away from me and in the end after all that pressure I left.
It hurts not getting that final set of words in, for me I think I would have told her "why are you breaking my heart like this?"
But all I could do was leave. I wish I did it differently too, but all we can do is pick up and move on. As hard as it is, take it as a lesson

I need to stop relitigating it, even here, it was the most painful thing I've ever done. I need to put it away.

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This plane, the Berkut, her favorite because of how unconventional it is, one of my favorites because of how it looks like the Maeve, isn't in Monino. I want to go there with her and I will.

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So I will rant about my abusive relationship. I am with an alcoholic.

They dont go more than 1-2 days without drinking and only if i beg them not to and promise to do x y or z if they dont. Every single time they drink they get super super super drunk and 50-70% of the time theyre really mean and talk about cheating on me or how in the past I broke up with them(for this exact issue of over drinking and being mean af) and how im a bitch for doing that. They used to pressure me into sex a lot but thats been less the case the past few months.


When theyre sober, theyre very needy, they demand constant reassurance and look for something to get upset about. Id say maybe 5 days a month give or take things are just... normal or chill. Sometimes those 5 days are just 1 or 2 days. Or zero.

Yesterday they sent me a screenshot of them getting someone they met on a dating app years ago to send them money fir pictures. They just scammed them and didnt send anything supposedly.

Then when I flipped they told me I was being the asshole and how dare I they didnt even do anything wrong blah blah blah.

I feel worthless. A part of me feels this is what I deserve. It feels impossible to drag myself out of this pit. Like yeah, I should just be with someone who walks on me.

And its not like I haven't done everything I can to help
Recommended therapy and encouraged them every step of the way. Forgive everything they ever do to me. Try my best to convince them to not drink. Bend over backwards, give my money when its needed. Constantlt driving hours on their behalf.

And yes we broke up before. After we lost our first place and they went into low income housing I broke up soon after for broke promises being the last straw. I got my own place, they begged me back and after 2 months they got their way.

Ever since its been a slow slide down into shit. Its basically how it was before. Nearly identical.

I dont talk about it anymore. My friends and family are tired of hearing it.

>>34270500
Anon, having been an alcoholic myself in the past I understand where you're coming from.
You seem to care about who you're with. If you didn't I don't think you would be talking about them.
The best advice I can give you is to be more assertive, stricter with your boundaries, and learning how to give them therapy yourself.

>>34270500
i would not tolerate this person any longer if i were you. it won't get better.

>I dont talk about it anymore. My friends and family are tired of hearing it.
and for good reason

t. alcoholic

>>34270543
They resent me half the time. Yes I care about them. But its ALL about them. All the time. Sure, I can dedicate myself to them even more and see if I can convince them to change. I feel like deep down I know this can never be a truly equal relationship.

>>34270556
Yes for good reason. Of course they will listen if I bring it up and talk about it. Im just absolutely sick of talking about it.

I feel like I should leave but I cannot stop myself from doing anything to appease them

>>34270500
Very clearly this person is a shit person and you need to be done with them. It's very simple actually. Just leave.

Don't give this person any more chances, they've shown so many times what a piece of shit they are especially with the abuse, manipulations.

No reason to be assertive or deal with them in the slightest in the sense of putting up with them.

You only assertion you need is to pack your boxes and get out.

>>34270593
You say they resent you half the time and you think you'll never be equal...My dear friend I think you wrote the reason why that is the case yourself:
>I cannot stop myself from doing anything to appease them

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I give m,more than hope. She remembers what it was like with me, how she felt, how happy she was. How excited she was for every day. So she was to have our trip here. The one we would have discussed that Saturday.

How I supported her and she wanted to support me. What honesty truly felt like. What true love felt like when she was with me.

It's unfortunate she was tricked and deceived. Lied to so that she lost me.

But we had true love, soulmate love. So I stayed for her this entire time. No one else would do that. If it was about anything else I wouldn't be here.

But I love her with all my heart and I've stayed

It is not been easy for me. So much energy and time. So much she doesn't know that I've done for her. But I love her with all my heart, I've kept my promises to her. And the way I see it if we had not lost each other she would be here now and that same energy would be used being happy with her living our life together.

I look at it the same as if she had fallen down here. I'll do everything I can to be there for her and to help her, support her. Be loyal and faithful thank you I promises to her. The same as If she's here with me.

My heart,m

>>34270597
We have a kid together too making jt all so much worse.
>>34270611
When i dont appease them, things get very very very bad. Hitting, cheating, horrible actions, threats of suicide, attempts at suicide. Its all on the table.

>>34270329
I hear that. Too much time, even.

>>34270329
old_man_sou?

>>34270620
Even more so reason to leave. You do not want the kid to be raised around that, they Are very prone to developing major psychological issues that will lead to major traumas later in their life. If you want the best for your child the best thing to do right now is to leave.

I'm fortunate that I come from a good family that it makes it difficult for me to understand how a mother would not accept their child when they are in need.

So my suggestion is go to your mom and be honest, 100%, say what is happening and that you need help. Go back to the house with your dad, brother whatever you need so he has no power. Pack the boxes and get out. File with the court and if you have recent bruises the police station for domestic abuse. Then stay at your folks for a bit while you get your life in order, find a job and such.

Because you'll be on a single income You're eligible support from the state. Go to the local county center and make an appointment with them to sit down. Bring your income and any information of any benefits programs you are on. Based on a single income you should be eligible to be on EBT food support, There may be rent assistance. There may also be funding for the kid to help with him. If you need a lawyer to help with paperwork in any case then you can look for your state there are pro bono lawyers for low income or people in your situation who are unable to afford a lawyer if you are unable to.

I gave you the tools. Ultimately it's your decision.
Please do what is best for you and your child.

>>34270620
>When i dont appease them, things get very very very bad. Hitting, cheating, horrible actions, threats of suicide, attempts at suicide. Its all on the table.
If I were in the same situation I'd go in gray rock mode. While I am not entirely certain about it I'll go on a limb and guess they thrive on your reactions from their behavior.

>>34270662
Yeah I guess so. The funny part is that I an the one with a job, a pretty decent one. I know I can make it on my own.

Its just... letting go. Thats the hard part.

I fear the fallout of leaving this person.
Maybe I will get in contact with my therapist again and see what can be done.

>>34270701
From what you wrote it's very clear-cut easy decision. He's abusive, manipulative, cheating, lying, just not a good person. I don't know what you need for you to see clearly. You listed so many red flags. Just the first one would have sent girls flying to a better guy. You are where you are now, but it never should have gotten that far. A good therapist could help but It always comes down to action. Whatever the fallout, removing an alcoholic abusive cheater from your life is a good thing.

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Hanekawa cute, C U T E
Smart too but C U T E

>>34270212
Um. I forgive you. Do better from now on.

>>34270753
I know it is. Thank you for replying.

They can just be so normal sometimes that it makes me feel crazy.. I know I have to go but its hard to get the strength to do it.

>>34270420
Yes, but how did you abandon her and why? Has she tried to contact you since then?

I’m the type of person who worries too much about the on going age verification bs, especially with discord, full Asperger’s here, no I really do have that

I know it’s bad and there has to be other ways, but should I just try not to focus on it? Other wise I’ll be worrying all day and night about it. I know it’s important but I can’t just spend all my day worrying about it. How do I do this? Just throw myself into stuff I like and if. I see posts on it on YouTube or so just select not interested?

>>34270925
Otherwise I’m probably gonna be worrying about that stuff until it’s too lste

>>34270921
Last time I abandoned her it's because I spitebombed someone else (that didn't even really deserve it, like most of my spitebombs) and stopped coming to this place for weeks. I didn't want to deal with the fallout of it and that thought recently became something aware and not subconscious.

We barely interacted ever since and she hates me. I understand why, and I take no pleasure in knowing someone I like and care about hates me.

I am scared.

of so many things.

how can i just let go of fear?

Abandoned, once again. This time by a long time partner, who I considered family. Somehow more difficult, as being chosen and then disgarded is more painful than never being wanted.
Who would have thunk.
I got ghosted.

>>34270925
What are you worrying about? Probably nobody cares about your data except to rob you or market to you.

>>34271005
Yeah but I am in some 18+ servers, I don’t want to lose access to the,

I don't know what's up with me, I found myself going back to some pictures of her, and for the first time I thought to myself, she's pretty, we were so in love, but I think it's finally time for me to do better.
I'm finally healing.

>>34270853
You are welcome. It might help you to make a "if this" Clause for your self. Write down "if he"and then what it is (is abusive, does whatever, hits) then that's it and you leave in the next available moment. No thinking. Just go. Pack a go bag for you and the kid. Put it where he doesn't go or with a girl friend You can grab the bag from after you drive away. No more debating. Just a rule that if this happens then I grab the kid get in the car and go. Then with The bag, kid drive to your parents. Remember to block his number so you don't have to Even look at that. Then make plans with the parents to go as a group to get your shit at the house. Don't go back to that place ever again alone.

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M,Just thinking about when I was laying in bed asking when you land and My phone buzzing and looking at it and seeing you. And you said you'd like to dwell there too. That made me happy,M