I visited my mother and heard crying coming from her room, so I went to see what was going on. She was crying because her husband (not my Dad) has severe kidney problems and is in the hospital. I tried to hug her, and she violently pushed me away, scratched me on the neck and my chest, and screamed that I haven't visited him in the hospital even once. So I kept my composure and went back to my apartment.First of all, that man was never my father. I was raised to believe he was until I was 10 (my mother lied to me until i met my real Dad), but her husband was never loving or caring toward me. I'm grateful to him in the sense that he never hit or mistreated me, but he mostly ignored me. I don't hate the man, but how am I supposed to care that he's in the hospital when he never helped me or gave me anything as a father? I ignore him because he ignored me. Yet i don't hate him but i don't care about him.As for my Mother's rejection, I guess that's one of the main reasons for my hatred of women. Im experiencing an intense hatred and horrible feeling of emptiness right now. I tried to sleep but i can't. How do I get these feelings away? Im feeling at my worst.
>the man my mother loves is dying >but what about my feelingsLmao
I understand the situation is sad, but I don't see why I should feel sad about it when I have no love for the man. Only his children should feel that loss, and they don't seem to care either. Should I pretend just to avoid looking like a hypocrite? Should I fake concern? Should I shed tears I don't actually feel? I just don't care and that would be insulting him. We never had a Father-Son relationship, not even a friendship. Nothing. Perhaps you are right, I'm self centered. For a long time I've realized I understand and recognize when others are sad but I fail to empathize with their pain. Even the hug that I gave to my mother was performative, its a thing i learned to do as a child eveytime I see someone sad to calm them down. Either way I think I shouldn't care about my mother neither. She has lived for herself and her happiness and has done nothing for me besides giving birth to me.
>>34267770>>34267786
>>34267750I relate to being performative. I've been through legitimately painful experiences so when someone whines about stupid shit it makes me think they just want attention. Not your mom's case but it's just a matter of perspective and she cares about him / can't see him for what he is. The man's on his death bed, I'd just talk to him and maybe communicate some of this before it's too late. Comfort your mom like a child and try not to hate her for acting like one. This will pass, just do what's "right" even if you don't want to.
>>34267750See a therapist
>>34267750>>34267786It’s not your problem dude just ignore the whole situation, go watch a movie with friends
>>34267750Just gotta not think about it really. I know its hard, cause the thoughts hit like a truck. Try to stay busy, lift some heavy weights, come home really tired, tired to the point you cant even shower before getting in bed, because you have no energy. Turn on some white noise, or something in the background at night, so you don't think about any thoughts.
>>34267786>I, I, I, IYou have underlying issues. Realize this: Nobody will help you, you don't deserve to be helped, because nobody is entitled to be helped. Nobody will change no matter how much you ask. YOU can act in a way it moves others to change, and that starts with stopping treating yourself as the victim and starting to care about others.Oh, you don't care about anyone? Well that's your problem. I would start treating people well regardless of your feelings. How can you not hate the kind of asshole you are right now is beyond me.
Your mother reacted terribly in my opinion. Where was her ferocious attitude about failing to support family when her husband was failing to act as a father?If he is asking for you, you should go see him. Otherwise it sounds like neither of you would benefit from it. Your mom lashed out in an irrational way, obviously she is under stress but everyone has gone through something like this and they don't attack people.You did the right thing by keeping your composure. It sounds like you're neuro atypical, or at least express emotions differently, and you put a lot of effort into performing for others. It's not fair if your loved ones don't realize this and meet you in the middle. You don't control this, but I hope it can help you express yourself to them and keep you from the pain of trying to perform for them for nothing in return.As for getting over what your mom did, try the "time traveller" thought experiment whenever those memories come rushing back. Imagine you have a time machine and you went back to that moment that your mom attacked you. Defend and support yourself, shut her down and say all the things you want to say. This tool has been invaluable for me stopping traumatic memories replaying endlessly, I have never tried it on a recent memory but maybe it will work.
>>34269698Shut up you jewish bitch kike faggot nigger tranny.Go suck a dick or something. This is /adv/ice board for giving other people advices, not place of self-projection.
>>34267750Find a new mom, aka gf. Cut the umbilical cord wired around your neck if it drags you down. But before you go, show her the reality she chooses to reject. And if she chooses to reject you again, then simply abandon her. You are grown up man, so start acting like it.However, if you want your mother acceptance, then now is the perfect time to assert the dominance over her. Tell her what a worthless father he was, and that you've never seen/will see him as a father-figure because of it. He can't retort back because he is dying, and she is weak, so her retort will also be weak, messy and uncoordinated.Otherwise, if you keep lying, your mother will just continue to reject reality. Women make room for only one man in their heart, make sure that person is your mother's son and not your deadbeat dad. Let her know, that you will soon be her only family she will have left, and if she won't treat you with respect which you deserve (unlike your step-father) then she will be alone forever.Be assertive and arrogant about it. Don't give in simply because she is crying. In fact, treat it as an opportunity to break her open, by saying what you always wanted to about your deadbeat "dad".If mother's love is conditional, then it's not love. You will forever have half of her genes, you will be always bound together because of it. You will forever be your mother's son. He on the other hand was just a random person she met in her life, nobody more than that. Don't let her ever forget it.If a mother prioritizes her husband over her son, she is a slut, not a real mother. However, you'll need to get rough with some women to remind them about this sacred wisdom.
>>34267750Your stepdad has probably had to deal with the same bullshit you just did x10.So I wouldn't be upset with your stepdad. How would you feel raising a kid that wasn't yours? To his credit the guy stuck around unlike your real father.The common thread here is your mother, who I can tell from your short post is a horrible person.Once stepdad is gone, she is just going to use you for emotional incest if she can't find another man to leech off of.I'm not overly judgemental of parents. They are just people with their own flaws, but many of them should never have had children.Get therapy. If you can't afford therapy, use Gemini.
>>34270214>Get therapy. If you can't afford therapy, use Gemini.The most jewish advice of the last 24 hours.
>>34267750>>34267786You don't have to fake anything anon. Also, you should not justify your feelings like you do. Both those things might appear upsetting to other people. For example, when you say you feel nothing for this person because he's not your real dad, anyone hearing this will understand it as "this person mean nothing to me, I don't care if they die". And that's not the message you want to pass, right?
>>34267750the actions and thoughts of women dont matter since they are so fickle. she'll probably give you a hug the next time you see her. then the next day she'll be mad about something else
>>34269698Bot post
>>34267750Your are a grown man.Perhaps it's time to stop your mind being controlled by her?Move on, cut the umbilical cord.
