She left me in November. We were together for eight years. It was right after a two month long succession of trauma involving her grandmother's health, having to put our cat down, and us not getting along during a two week long florida trip with her friends.The first month after she left she started pursuing a long-distance lesbian who wasn't reciprocating but she kept trying all the way into the end of January. She's trying to find someone else who will live with her so she can move out of her Grandmother's basement. I own my own house and she was definitely comfy here all those years. She's a social media obsessed vintage collector, so having a mid-century house to show off all her stuff was definitely a plus to her. She went to Philly to visit friends in January and hooked up with a girl and said it was a bad experience. After that she started DMing and calling me more often. She was already doing that every day before, and she still comes to the house at least once or twice a week to pick up mail or stuff for the antique mall we sell at (we are vintage resellers and co-op the business still).Side note: Why hasn't she changed her address? Why is she still stopping by and having casual convo with me through DMs and calls?Anywho, i started dating someone at the beginning of last month because i figured i had to move on since she was pursuing women then, i figured she'd never want me back.
So i told her about the girl, she started messaging me and calling even MORE including telling me she doesnt want me to stop loving her even if i'm dating someone else etc.So i actually start dating the girl and she starts acting super jealous and out of nowhere she says there's a guy in a state 1,000 miles away who wants to be with her. Says they've been talking about collecting vintage stuff on IG for years. He's in a divorce (but hasn't filed yet) and the plan is for him to move here so they can rent a house and live together. But she also told me he started talking to her more right after we broke up saying he and his wife had seperated recently (but are still living together) but she rejected him twice while she was pursuing the lesbian. Now all of a sudden she is madly in love with him and posting romantic shit on IG and tiktok every day. But why is she going for this guy when he's not even her type, lives 1,000 miles away and is technically still married and living with his (ex)wife? She said she is driving all the way there to meet him next month to see if they are good together. And of course she had to rub it in my face about them getting a hotel room so they can have sex for a whole week straight lol Is this guy actually a threat? Is their idealization fantasies going to collapse after meeting? It happened with the girl i was dating but she was actually available and only 70 miles away. What are the chances of reconciliation with her when she gets back?
>>34271215>>34271212She's obviously trying to make you jealous, the question is, did it work?
>>34271219Yeah, it made me want her back more because she revealed that she was disappointed at being rejected by women and wanted to try and be with a man again.But she is acting like someone who is actually infatuated and I googled stuff about "limerence" and it all matches up with everything she told me and has been posting for the past three weeks. She's acting totally out of character and embarrassing herself to be honest. She told me she told her friends and they said it was a bad idea to be involved with a guy who's in a divorce let alone still living with the wife and they haven't filed yet. It sounds like her family is supporting it though probably because they want her out of their house lol But yeah she was saying all kinds of crazy shit the other week when we went out to lunch. She was like "Are you coming to the wedding?" "We're in love" "Long-distance relationships are more successful statistically" and all this crazy shit acting a fool and looking dumb. I swear she isn't normally this emotionally immature but I think she is love sick from being rejected so she's in an identity crisis, is seeking validation from this guy, and also confused about what to do with herself. She told me she's lonely and sick of living at her grandmother's. I've asked her to come back multiple times since we split up including writing letters and pouring my heart out to her. Most of those times when she rejected she said no because she want to be with a woman now, specifically that one that i'm pretty sure was a big factor in her leaving so she could pursue. So the guy was a curveball and none of it makes sense to me.
Dip this hoe. You probably still love her but she obviously wants to make you jealous because she wants you to pursue her. And doing it this way is just childish and immature. I don’t think this is a healthy mindset for a long term partner. That’s an objective statement from a 3rd party, you won’t see it like that because you still have feelings for her (I’m assuming). Or the middle ground would be to sit down and talk like 2 adults about your future and whether you should or shouldn’t be together. And if not the just cut her off. And find somebody stable(mentally).
