I cried like a retard on the way while listening to the same song for all those 4 hours.By the end I thought I finally got her out of my system. She felt more like a younger sister to me than anything romantic and I felt like I had let her down. I just wanted to take care of her.As soon as I got home, I started wanting her again but for different reasons.It's now been an hour and I don't know what she means to me again.It's been 3 years of this.Does someone have some advice for me? How do I find back?
>>34275535>the same songwhat was the song?
>>34275548Are you trying to dox me? I've played it all day today
>>34275565no i just wanna know this song because if you've been playing it for 4 hours it must be good
>>34275535Making LARPs like this only reflects badly on you. It's manipulative and childish. No one wants to be with someone like that.
>>34275658It's not that good it just hit a nerve in meI am desperate to know how to stop being obsessed. I almost shed another tear. I'm obsessed and I don't know why I can't let her go. It's been 3 years of this, every day. We work close and every day was a chance to bump into her, I haven't seen her in years now but the trauma lives on and I don't know what to do. I'm at my limit...>>34275669I haven't told anyone but people are starting to notice that there's something wrong because I've been doing the same thing every day for years now
I think I got it.After further deliberation, I think I was afraid of her exposing me as a fraud. That is where my fear comes from. As long as I do not get a conclusion from ehr, I'd be afraid of running into her and being tormented by her. I blamed myself for having hurt her and it triggered shame in me. She wasn't hurt, so me chasing probably only pushed her away.I blamed myself and felt shame, and been in my head ever since.Core fear might be that she'd expose me as a fraud and if that'd happen, it'd end the life I was building with her in it.That's why I haven't been able to let her go.Doesn't feel like it's let up and I feel a little bit better. I'll think about it some more.
>>34275535Things like "i need her" are lies you tel yourself
>>34275780lmao. just take a look at her and realize it was all in your head. it's always the same: we amplify everything in our heads, good things just as much as bad things.
>>34275535you should commit suicide.you will never have a good relationship with anyoneyou're incapable of doing it
>>34275795I know. I've known it's in my head since the first day, I just haven't known what I've been afraid of and why I couldn't let it go. Can you help me anon? I am desperate?I rarely make threads about this and I haven't asked Reddit because I'm not active on any subs. I've gotten therapeutic help three times but it didn't lead anywhere. I don't know what to do by this point. I know everything logically but I just can't let it go.
I think it might've been one, giant OCD episode.It all started because I was never going to get over having hurt her feelings, and I really cared about that because I wanted to get over it fast and move on with my life.The obsession snowballed from there.But it is not letting up, so that can't be it either.
