Would you leave the relationship in my situation or don't leave and fix yourself/improve your relationship?I got into my first relationship at 20 and we've been together for 7 years now, we've been talking of marriage too and would prefer to do in the next 2, or 3 years at latest. But, I think about 2 years into the relationship I got a crush on someone else. And I still don't think I'm fully 100% over it, as sad/pathetic that sounds. I think at this point it's bordering on mental illness since it's been this long, something is truly wrong with me, and it hadn't shown itself before because the conditions weren't "right" until this crush came along. It's someone my partner knows and I've seen that person on average 4-6 times a year, so not that often, but sometimes multiple days at a time when we all hangout at our place (usually). Of course as soon as I realized the crush I changed how I behave to some degree. At first I was shy, but once I realized I have some sort of crush, I didn't let myself get "comfortable" or chatty around the person, as I usually am once I spend more time around someone. I guess I acted this way so that we couldn't accidentally become close or too friendly or something. I just felt really weird because I never had a crush on someone while in a relationship before (well this is my first relationship, but it had never happened during this relationship, and it hasn't happened again since).There was a time period when the crush was very very intense for me and I daydreamed a lot, but that seemed to thankfully go away once we moved in together and I was able to focus on my partner more and be less alone. But some aspect of that obsession didn't fully go away, sometimes I seem to just randomly remember this whole crush thing involuntarily, like it just pops into my head randomly, and makes me feel guilty.
cont. I'm attracted to my partner, but I admit that they kind of let themselves go to some degree, and that might've fueled the crush a bit, even though I obviously don't expect perfection or someone never letting themselves go even 1%. Whenever (rarely) I see the crush, I recognize that I sense a similar feeling to the one I felt around my partner during the "honeymoon" phase when our relationship was fresh and we were both mysteries to each other, not everything was known yet. So I know it definitely wouldn't ever be a good idea to leave my close to ideal relationship, just to chase that initial honeymoon hype again which always goes away in the end, and end up with someone who is likely a worse partner.
>we've been together for 7 years now, we've been talking of marriage too and would prefer to do in the next 2, or 3 years at latest.are you retarded? what the fuck are you waiting for, till you're in 30s? ffsthat's what relationships are for, see if someone fits you, and even if you're retarded that shouldn't take more than a year, not 10 fucking years. i don't envy your situation desu and have nothing smart to tell you
>>34276018Well we were both students for quite many years since master's is required, and now we're both still in an unstable situation, neither have full-time employment after graduating. So we just want a stable life situation first. I lived with random roommates in a really cheap tiny apartment for many years and it's not that long ago that we finally properly moved in together.And I understand, it's a mega frustrating situation. I think about how it makes me feel (guilty, bad partner etc.) more than I ever do about the lingering crush itself .
>>34276033well if i had to pull it out of my clairvoyant ass, i would say you're a femoid, and you were postponing it because you feel you missed out on golden carousel years, and feel you're settling down with the poor schmuck that "let himself go" after he went bald waiting for you to feel stable
>>34276060Thankfully my relationship doesn't correspond to terminally online fantasies, but I still I know need to do something at this point
I'd try to detransition and start living life as a male again, and get therapy to accept you can never have a sexual relationship again due to your mutilated genitals and fucked up hormones
