How do I stop finding conversations boring? I'm very narcissistic and only like talking about things that interest me. I pretend to be into other people's interests and what they are talking about but I just don't care. It's literally making me a hermit. Any fixes?
>>34278759Make cultivating love and compassion for others one of your interests. It won't make everything they say interesting if what they're talking about is vapid, but it will give you a baseline interest in them for the sake of their well-being.
>>34278791How do I do that though?
>>34278759I have to be interested in the other person to care.Like I might not give a shit about what my sister is telling me about but I enjoy that she is excited about whatever it is and am compelled to follow along well enough that I can ask her questions because she's clearly having a good time talking about it and I want to keep that going for her.
>>34278759Maybe you are just around boring narcissistic people. Birds of a feather flock together you know.
>>34278759I don't think it's narcissistic to not care about other people's interests, it's just brutally realistic. Because no one can actually care about another person's interests just from conversation. Interests are found and made by personal experience. The reason someone has an interest is because they had an experience about something and made it a habit. You do not have their habit and you did not live their experiences. You therefore do not have any enthusiasm or emotions for their interest when they talk about it. That's just common sense. Most people pretend to be interested out of social courtesy because they know they dele down don't care about the other persons interest. But they do care that the other person is interested in their own interest and talking about it let's them feel good. So they talk about it, they play along, they let the other person share their interest. Because the goal isn't to become interested in their interest, the goal is to build up a social connection. The only way to become interested in someone's interest isA) Go and experience the thing they are talking aboutOrB) Hope to God the other person is a good talker, is charismatic and can make you feel interested in the way they talk about it.If you speak to dry boring bastards all day, you won't be interested in what they are interested in. You could meet an astronaut who went to Mars, but if he is a dry 'matter of fact' talker, then listening to his trip to Mars will feel like watching paint dry. Fucking boring.
>>34278796By understanding that your own worth and well-being are determined by the virtues you possess, and that it's impossible to have virtue and a callous disregard for others at the same time. Making study and self reflection part of your daily routine help a lot.
>>34278818No man is an island, I think the myth of being a reclusive wizard book reading hermit is a myth. Community is key to achievement. I think just talking to people until the atmosphere or vibe is in a better place is key to even being able to study. What's the point in doing anything if nobody is going to see it or care? If that was the case I'd just lay in bed and close my eyes and wait to die.
>>34278800I try to but I can feel the other person doing the same to me so I just stop talking>>34278803This is every person I've met in my life>>34278807So what's the point in it all then? I don't want to fake it just for social cred>>34278818So just don't think negatively about normal people?
>>34278829>What's the point in doing anything if nobody is going to see it or care?What's the point in doing anything if you're only doing it for the approval of a fickle public that has neither the will nor the ability to make your endeavors fulfilling? Figuring out what true merit actually is and doing what's inherently worthwhile for its own sake is the key to happiness and contentment. Until someone discovers that, it's like he's adrift with no lighthouse to guide him. Guiding yourself through public appeal will guaranteed land you in a shipwreck eventually.
>>34278759>I'm very narcissistic and only like talking about things that interest meThat's perfect if you're a high rizz individual. You probably aren't though.
>>34278834>So just don't think negatively about normal people?That, and to try your best to be a positive influence. When kindness and compassion are your ultimate goal because you value those qualities for their own sake, it turns every interaction with other people into an opportunity to cultivate those qualities.
>>34278842Because we exist only through the reflection of others. That's how you create an identity. You can look in the mirror and see your true self, but there's no relation to others. How can you be a kind person if you don't treat others with kindness. How can you be mysterious if nobody is even wondering about your eccentricities. How can you make a "game" if nobody is playing it. The tree that falls in the woods with nobody to hear it, makes vibrations in the air not sound.
>>34278834>So what's the point in it all then? I don't want to fake it just for social credNow you know you're not a narcissist. If you were, faking for social cred would be your oxygen. That's what they do all day for attention. So first thing, don't call yourself narcissistic lol.Secondly what it means is you need to find people you don't need to feel fake around. Find people who share your interests
>>34278858But I only care about myself
>>34278858Or even find people with varied interests that you're comfortable existing with in parallel.
>>34278864>But I only care about myselfYeah, still ain't narcissism. Egotism maybe but narcissism nah. Narcissism is about being a raging attention whore, that was what we called them in my day, attention whores. They only care about themselves too, but unlike egotists, the narcissist DEMANDS everyone care about them as well. Ironically the narcissist is the one not likely to expect abd demand you care s kut their interests. You are the opposite side of the coin, you just don't care about other people interests full stop. That's fine anon. Might piss some people off, but who cares. You can find other ways to make social connections that don't involve caring about people's interests. I don't give two fucks about my friends interests or my wife's, but I enjoy deep relations to both. Because all I need to do is go share a experience with them. Hang out or go see the same shit like a movie or eat the same shit like go eat at the same place or go hiking together or whatever you get it? Doesn't mean I have to go develop the same obsession over some gay book series or be into the same hobby all of a sudden
>>34278855>Because we exist only through the reflection of othersThat's extremely shallow and illogical. You really ought to take some time to meditate, sit quietly and reflect on yourself. Living your life through the eyes of others is no life at all.>That's how you create an identityIdentities are not healthy. You should be striving not to have one at all. Identity is the same as ego-clinging, which is the root of all suffering.>How can you be a kind person if you don't treat others with kindnessBecause kindness exists objectively, it doesn't have a dependent existence. What you're asking is similar to saying "how can you be just if you aren't a judge?". The quality of impartiality exists in and of itself, objectively. You can be impartial without having to arbitrate, just as you can be kind without having to perform any actions.Being this dependent on others isn't healthy at all, it's something you should strive to get away from at all costs.
>>34278888well i got it wrong
>>34278892Yeah, you got it wrong but so did I do do lots of people. Internet is retarded and people these days are hysterical and use the word 'narcissism' like confetti lol. So it becomes easy to mistake yourself as one.If you wanna know who the actual narcs are, it's the ones who call other people narcissists. Because they are basically saying "you didn't care about me or worship my ego you are a bad person I am the victim". That's narcissism in a nutshell. The real narcissists often reverse the victim/offender status all the time. You are honest about not giving a fuck, that means you ain't one. Narcs pretend to give a fuck if they think it means they can get money, pussy, attention, social cred etc. As long as you are fine with other people not caring about your own interests as much as you don't care about theirs, it's all even-stevens.
>>34278888the word narcissist has lost it's meaning imo also checked nice numbers or something.
