Truthfully I've never felt like much of a man, I'm far too soft and sensitive, emotional like a woman, probably even moreso. I cry often, I'm moody and pouty and everything you'd expect from a borderline personality.I don't know how to fight, I don't know how to work on cars, or cook shit on a grill. I can't even light a fire, or build a deck, or really do anything masculine. I write poetry, and sing songs, and lay in the grass and stare at the sky. I'm aloof and melancholic. But also angry. Very very angry. Probably because I'm so insecure.I've never been with a woman, don't feel like I ever will be. I've never attained respect or esteem or valour (whatever that means in the 21st century). I feel invisible, unwanted, like a slug in the dirt. And I'm fucking angry.I blame my dad for being a worthless asshole who didn't teach me anything, and spends all day playing video games in his mother's house. I blame my mother, who never showed me any affection or attention, and who brought strangers into our house and fucked them within earshot of me. I almost feel like she sexually abused my mind, and turned me into a cuck. I'm afraid that in some delusional episode to prove my mettle I might simply unleash my violent rage onto some unexpecting person. I even have a few people in mind, other men who think they're better than me. Or who've gone out of their way to humiliate or hinder me. I want to smash their fucking skulls open, I want to rip their eyes out or stab them in the face. I know it's silly or "edgy" but I think I really am dangerous. Or could become so.How do I cope with this? How do I find inner peace, and prove that I'm a man without resorting to barbarism? How do I stop feeling mentally cucked by everyone
>>34295865You need to reframe a couple of things. First of all, plenty of orphans and bullied people who get stronger and even become millionaires because the experiences ignite them and they prove themselves to be valuable. So you shouldn’t be angry at other people but yourself that despite having the advantage of hardship and pressure and you still haven’t been able to ascend. All the feelings are correct, you should feel worthless when you are externally worthless and you should even feel angry. The only problem is that your anger is misplaced, you should be angry at yourself and your own weakness and fight that. You shouldn’t cope and try to find peace, you should prove yourself first and after you have attained something, you can start looking at peace.
>>34295865Violent homicidal thoughts is the basis of being a man at least prison thug mentality which there are millions incaserated because of said thoughts turning into action. Don't beat yourself up you can't attain much, I can't do anything you listed and I consider myself a man but I don't have those frolic interests like you do. I'm shut off from society because of humiliation and bullying because of mistakes I made years ago as a young adult and even though logic dictates those people have moved on and don't want to target me anymore I can't get past the paranoia and anxiety, so I get it man life sucks and people suck too but you can't allow for those tasks you can't accomplish which you believe most men can torment you, and honestly a lot of women find kind and feminine men to be attractive as fuck so you can still get your dick wet. My suggestion to you is to avoid those men who fuck with you and if it's in a work place environment set your boundaries, focus on what you can already achieve and let go of the anger dude seriously. I drink daily like I smash a bottle of vodka in a couple hours and I'm miserable but I no longer fixate on violent thoughts, yeah years ago I had them too and it would get really fucking dark but I learned to manage it and by the grace of God I ain't in prison because of it. Do you have anything you're proud of in yourself or personality? You don't seem a right off cause to me just a little lost right now and perhaps being on 4chan has contributed to your jaded indifference
>>34295926>A lot of women find kind and feminine men to be attractive as fuckMaybe, but not around here. Growing up in the rustic south probably had something to do with why I feel so insecure. Men are hardy and rowdy down here, and I'm someone with soft pale hands and too much sense for my own good. Women want those burly working men who crush their balls 15 hours a day and can fix their cars for them when it breaks down.>Do you have anything you're proud of?Not really, to be honest. Maybe in the past I thought being mature, thoughtful, generous, and sensitive were virtuous. But now I feel like they're worthless aspects of one who spent far too long stuck in my own head. Other men are selfish, ignorant, impatient, and impetuous. But they have all the success and get everything I want.>I drink dailySame. I can't even go to work without getting smashed first, because the feelings are worst at work. Where I can't isolate myself, can't separate. I just have to endure it. Is it weird that being drunk makes me calm and being sober makes me violently angry?
>>34295917>You haven't been able to ascendAscend to what? What are you saying? What is it I'm supposed to have achieved? What is it gonna take for me to prove myself? You think I'm worthless because I can't fix stuff and chop firewood, is that what I should be learning?
>>34295865Fragments of Truth mixed throughout but there's so much not true there about me
>>34295970Are you OP? I guess not. OP needs to become less soft and sensitive like a woman, learn to fight, work on cars, cook shit on grill, and most importantly get money, bitches and respect. I’m sure OP knows this already. At the minimum money, bitches and respect, but OP has also identified other parts of masculinity to strive towards.
>>34296031Retard. Did ChatGPT write your response since I'm assuming you don't even speak English.You've completely missed the point of my post. I don't give a fuck about cars, grilling, or fighting. Unless I really need to defend myself or my loved ones, maybe. But more likely a gun would be best suited for that purpose. If I wanted to do those things I'd be doing them. Maybe I want respect and bitches, but I don't care about money. I want self respect. I am who I am, effeminate and squishy. That will never change. I want to accept myself and respect myself as a man, because striving towards acceptance by society is fruitless. All I'd achieve is becoming some half measure of what I think men ought to be, something not quite masculine and yet not quite myself. A sham.
You like to hit me
>>34296043No you are just bad at communicating.>Truthfully I've never felt like much of a man, I'm far TOO soft and sensitive…Also, the fuck are you doing on 4chan then? Go to reddit or therapy or wherever normie faggot site where they preach self acceptance and coping.
>>34296059What?
>>34296062Why you wrote all this
