>>34300315
Go to Europe and fuck hookers.

>>34300781
Not interested in prostitutes due to the risks.

>>34300315
You can still get it done if the standards are low enough

>>34300814
How low?

>>34300315
Cant you go to some SEA country and passportmaxx?

>>34300858
Negative.

>>34300782
You're probably more likely to get STDs from regular chicks you meet than hookers

>>34300315
Thruke coming up.

Nobody will help you. Nobody gets anything from helping you, solutions people suggest are never fit for your problem.

You have a complex problem, you have no means to claim responsibility to anyone, you have no leverage for anyone to answer for it.

Your life is already spent. You will never amount to your own expectations even if someone artificially started passing resources to you.

You could pinpoint the point in your life where the problem started, but you have no means to change it. The past is unreachable. None of the things said above can be changed.

You could change yourself, if it were possible for you to find the determination to stop being who you are. Said process comes with a cost, usually seeing things less optimistically, more strategically, more fake. It's irreversible and it involves doing things you hate or fear. You could change if you accepted that cost, but nobody knows if you have it in you to do it. You're the only person who knows how far can you push back.

I'll point you into the starting line if you want to choose that. Stop pressuring yourself. Stop talking back, stop thinking. Whatever you think works for you, stop doing it. Whenever you're in doubt, start feeling, focus on your sensations. Your guiding tenets should be "Stop if you're gonna cause harm", and "Offer your help to the people in front of you". Your first goal should be "Find someone to care about and share your time with them".

This is the starting line. I can't give you the entire road along because I don't know it either, so you will have to open your senses and find a direction that feels the most happy going towards. The people, friends and wives will he flowers you pick along that road, but they only bloom in that one foggy road.

>>34302188
That's rather discouraging.

>>34302209
Thanks for a realistic answer. I do need to change a lot and I see that my life is mostly over. I'll do what I can if I find the will and courage. If not, I will put myself on a plate because I'll be cooked.

>>34302236
The post you replied to is a bunch of nonsense. Just throw yourself into things, seek out places/hobbies/whatever that gets you into contact with women and start asking them out.
Listening to your feelings is good advice though. If you feel afraid of something, that is a definite sign that you should do it (unless its objectively dangerous). Use your fears (of women and social situations) as a pathway.

>>34300315
My eldest brother is still a virgin at the age of 45. Meanwhile I got the wife and kids and had plenty of relationships. And if there's one thing I can genuinely say 'till the day I die is he's a better man than I am. I looked up to him as a kid, and I look up to him even now. Half the reason I was able to find success in my life is because I modelled some of my personality after him back when I was very young. To this day he remains one of the best men I know. An amazing brother, a diligent son to my parents, and now an excellent uncle to my children.
My point is just because you feel you lack in one single area of life does not mean you are condemned in every area of life. So this idea that you are unworthy or alien or a freak is completely bullshit. Your feelings behind them aren't bullshit but the thoughts that come out of them, discard them as they will only impede you.

>I'm kinda at a lost about what to do. I attend therapy, take meds for my Bipolar Disorder, and found sonething like a balance that I never had. It helps, but there's something lacking/missing.

Yes it's called purpose. When you have all your eggs in a basket and you got some of the cards together, you need to play your hand. And the question is: For what? For who? Who was greater purpose? That's the missing piece.

In other words what you seek is someone to share your new found balance with, a mate. A partner, a lover, a best friend. That's normal and is considered a need for humans everywhere. Right up there with shelter and safety and warmth, human connection is essential. Humans use isolation as a form of torture for a reason bro. It's because no connection = insanity eventually.

Because sure not to fall for narcissistic kool aid or advice in your journey. It sounds like "You are your own purpose. Love yourself, only be for your self and be your own reason for happiness."

People who say this are lying to you and themselves. They are never actually fulfilled people at all

>>34302304
>People who say this are lying to you and themselves

Bullshit. Its because between a "best friend, lover partner" yadda yadda and being completely isolated, theres many different degrees. Such as casually dating a woman or two just to get your feet wet and see who fits you and who doesn't. Such as simply having friends , a social circle to back you up independet of any relationship. A good relationship to your family, if applicable and possible. And so on.

As a matetr of fact, desperately scrambling to not be alone and then centering your entire world around whatever person you scrounge up is a horrible way to live life, and often ends in either desaster or misery.

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>>34302236
Godspeed anon. Know you're not alone in this, I'm as lost as you but I'm still moving forward. One day you will be the one moving and another lost soul will be inspired by you. No matter how shit this world is, everything will work out fine from the merit of our good souls. They're just muddied from bad experience but we'll shine through.

>>34302304
>>34300315
>Continued

You said you're Bipolar. I am not Bipolar but I can tell you something: If I had the Jekyll & Hyde disorder where for three months I become death itself in an abysmal low, only to become a manic and euphoric god-man three months later, I would feel the following:

>"I cannot allow other people to get too close. I am a mercurial monster who will only terrify anyone who sees me".

That's what I would fear. And I would fear this so much I would probably avoid getting close with people, in friendships and especially love and sex and long term relationships. Because I'd fear what they would think of me if they saw me oscillate from Heaven & Hell in my moods non stop, I'd be terrified they'd not see the real me trapped underneath and brand me as a freak. I'd also fear that if I somehow were able to fake stability or somehow out my Bipolar into management, that if I married and had kids, one bad day is all it would take for me to destroy everything and hurt people I love somehow.

If that is your fear, or your hang up that has prevented you from forming connection, know this:

There are people who don't mind. People who know the terms of what having a Bipolar partner entails and they accept it, all of it, and they still choose to love them. Because love is a choice, and it's the other person's choice to make. And by hiding yourself away from others you presume to know what choices they would make it should make (abandoning you, rejecting you). And that's not fair, not to you and not to others. Because you're not other people, you're you. And if someone chooses to love you, let them.

But they can't do that if you remain in hiding.

>>34302311
>As a matetr of fact, desperately scrambling to not be alone and then centering your entire world around whatever person you scrounge up is a horrible way to live life, and often ends in either desaster or misery.

It doesn't end in disaster or misery, it ends in no longer being alone. That's sort of the point. Trying to act above base emotions such as loneliness is posturing weak shit, prideful pretense. Nobody wants to feel unlovable, that's just bottom line. And I am saying that if OP ever encounters people who try to sell him the vanity feminized new age 'self love' shit he should ignore them. Every single person I've ever met who professed self love was also simultaneously their own biggest hater. It's batshit

>>34302326
I'm not big on self-love, especially not the narcissistic kind. Somehow I believe that no one should love themselves, but give and receive it. I feel so little from the illusion of self-love as though it were some selfish and empty delusion. I deeply desire to love and be loved, but I did build a fortress around my heart since I know I can be hurt and also hurt someone else. Marriages can turn into bitter rivalries, and I am male, so if shit fell apart, it's likely my ass that goes down in flames. It would trigger a depression that puts me at a greater risk of suicide. I fear a lot, but acknowledge the good that may come about if I open up and let someone in.

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>>34300782
Dude, fuck that shit. Go fuck some hookers, you are 40 years old, you need to cum in some europussy. You sit here bitching about how suicidal you supposedly are, but won't even consider the easiest way to make yourself feel good.

>>34302236
Not really, even at 40 you have another 40 years left, easy. What is the worst that could happen? You get AIDS? Eh, your life was shit enough as it was and not going to happen if you go to a good hooker place. You might get syphillus or ghonny, but that's a few shots of penicillin. And if you get arrested?

What do you do for income?

>>34302659
I don't want any STIs and I don't care how much action I miss not banging whores.

I work in production making what I'll just call "explosives for a non-lethal purpose." I'm not banking it bigtime, but I can support myself with extra for wants, all within reason. I don't want to lose money to whores, escorts, or dates with narcissistic bitches that think men are lucky just to be in their presence.

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>>34300315
Your OP pic should've been this.

>>34302228
Sadly true although maybe not inside your age group. Most women in their 20s and 30s sleep around or have slept around. Gone are the days of waiting until marriage unless you add religion into the mix and even then they're probably lying about their past. It's sad.

Euro chicks are less likely to have an STD when a brothel or prostitution is legal in their country. They have to have standards of health checkup paperwork and if the place is any good it vets it's clients and will ask for your health checkup paperwork. I wouldn't go to a place that doesn't check me to make sure I don't have an STD that I could pass on to one of their girls.

Oh, and if you are suicidal over this ever. Congrats, you have nothing to lose and it won't matter if you get an STD first. Think about life and regrets. Are you going to regret going to a prostitute more or are you going to regret living all your life as a virgin? If you'd regret the prostitute idea more, than don't go to one. This doesn't mean that you can go try dating.

Everything is online now. People don't meet in person anymore. The reason you're single is because you aren't making opportunity for yourself. I wouldn't place blame on bipolar, but rather that you aren't putting yourself out there. I'd say get online and try dating so long as you know that your bipolar meds are working. If you have friends or family, I'd also ask them and your doctor to make sure that the meds are working. Getting an outside perspective of your own behavior from people who know you very well could be very helpful. If you decide to try dating, you should disclose that you take medication bipolar disorder as soon as possible. It can be rougher on the other person if they aren't aware and disclosing this allows them to decide if they can deal with it and help you in case you have an episode. Not everyone is a right fit.

>>34303356
I think I would regret messing with prostitutes more than remaining a virgin. As for online dating, I am wary of romance scammers and other scum who will do all they can to ruin everything. A big part of all this is figuring out what to do. If nothing else, I have plenty of other reasons to live on that don't depend on other people. As nice as it would be to share a life with someone else, I've gone without for a very long time. It might be that I've become too accustomed to my singleness and sexual inexperience. I don't know exactly. If I have nothing to lose and there's no hope, I know what's coming, and it will be me writing everything off to say a final goodbye. No one (save for the worst of humanity) deserves to be left out in the cold like where I put myself. It can all be over in a muzzle flash.

>>34300315
You sound like me.

>>34304652
There's getting to be more of us.

>>34300315
I would take some dick from you in my ass out of pure pity

>>34300315
I don't have enough information to give you sound advice so here is what I suggest with the informal information I have now:

1. Stop masturbating. Your sex drive is there to force you to pursue the opposite sex. That post nut clarity is your enemy. You want pre nut delusions is your ticket to courage. If the only way you can orgasm is with a girl your motivation will be through the roof.
2. I think you have some body image issues. If you feel overweight/underweight. Work on it. Find a buddy and workout together. Find someone who looks like you want and is close to the same age. Ask them what they do to stay in shape and copy them. You won't feel like you can succeed if you don't look successful. Feel good naked or else you won't want anyone else to see you naked.
3. Stop focusing on the big picture with sex and relationships. Focus on small steps. Ask a female friend to coffee. Ask someone for their number. Throw a party and invite acouple of girls. Go speed dating somewhere. Facebook friend a girl and message them. Just do the little things consistently and the big picture will take care of itself.

>>34304800
That's... flattering. Better be female or no go.

>>34304859

1. Easier said than done.

2. Overweight, but I can fix that.

3. Problems concering approach. Fear and pessimism. Excuses. I've held myself back for years.

>>34300820
Hookers

>>34300315
>Never dated.
What were you doing 20-25 years ago during the peak myspace years?

My high school years were all trash except for the last few months leading to graduation, I was a loner who hung out with other loners & most girls had already decided I was undatable by the first week of grade 7 but thank to this thing called the internet we just got at my house I was able to meet random girls from across town who went to alternative high school and had piercings.

MSN chat rooms and MSN messenger too.

I know those things and those days are gone, but back then just like now I just go out seeking girls that share my same interests and lifestyle.

Mostly anyone who's into alternative music like punk or goth or anything rave, or even jazz. There's music festivals all year round, record stores, smaller music venues that double as bars & cafés.

I'm also into movies and literature as well and again there's plenty of stores to hang out at and a few festivals or conventions a year as well. Same with anime.

Basically, if you're out enjoying yourself doing things you enjoy you always have the possibility of meeting women, and you're not stuck in awkward situations where you show up to a thing you don't enjoy only to try and meet women. When you're relaxed and enjoying yourself you're much more approachable and charismatic.

I have some friends who are way into card games like MtG and tabletop RPGs and board games, they met girls that way.

>>34305972
Back in MySpace's heyday, I just talked to people I knew regularly plus some others I met that I never met irl. There were some girls that showed interest over the web, and some offline. Thing is, my opinion of myself was dirt low, and that haunts me. Reality showed me one possibility, but I denied it largely. I coulda, shoulda, but the woulda wasn't there. Now I'm just some aging rando with his dick in his hand, fading away slowly. I didn't give myself real chances back when those were the best and most potent years of my body.

I've lived under a rock quite a bit. My old friends mostly all moved on, started families, found their love. I was left behind because I never made the necessary moves. Basically, I am a coward. A half formed, immature, miserable coward. I brought this curse on myself to be honest. A purely self-inflicted predicament. Ended up with a loser mentallity. I dug a hole that is looking like my grave.

>>34305901
No hookers. I'm degenerate to some extent, but not to that level.

You need to find peace with yourself first before with someone else. The Lisa Simpson women in your life were warning you about that and you really should have taken it very early in life. Lastly, it is okay to be eager even if you don't get something.

>>34303245
Anon I have bad news for you but all men pay for women, the discount shows how much they like you. Someone with poor interpersonal skills like you should just use whores. You aren't calibrated to navigate the "free" method of seduction. Any woman even close to your age group who's chaste will be morbidly obese or have a personality 10x worse than yours.

Just pay for it once or twice and get it out of your system. Understand the whores are like hooters waitresses, they will pretend to like you and be connected with you to keep you coming back. That's the only lie they'll try to push on you. If you can see it for what it is you have a chance of ignoring it. Don't go to your grave without having experienced sex.

If it's any consolation OP I did the escort thing, twice, no regrets but it doesn't change anything. Doesn't magically fix your outlook. I did realize how insignificant sex actually is, it was nice to hump a living thing but that's about it. I'm heading down the same road as you albeit a few years younger.

>>34306394
Whether I experience it or not doesn't matter in death. After the brain dies, we lose awareness forever. All memories are wiped. Nothingness until even nothing becomes nothing. Even death may die like Lovecraft put it. Experience is for when we are alive, but death obliviates it all. Maybe I can find that fleeting bit of magic somewhere just to enjoy it before I face the unknown (or most likely we already know what death leads to, but inhale a good dose of copium). yeah, I'm not calibrated, and I can see myself freezing up in a moment when the chips are down. When a single move was supposed to get me in the door with a woman, but I slip up and further scar myself. Paying whores, I am sure of it, would empty my pockets and lead to a horrible addiction, and I know that addiction can/will happen to me, especially with anything to do with sex. Chasing dopamine hits and being willing to sink so low to get a fix. I don't want that. It leaves me wondering what to do exactly, seeing as my options are limited. My virginity burden may end up lifelong and I kind of expect it, but the road ahead does look dark as hell to me.

>>34306408
That is some consolation, and I thank you for it.

>>34306424
Getting laid is clearly something on your mind or you wouldnt have made this post. Don't pretend its a small thing if its occupied this much of your attention.

This guy is right in his equation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-anlvyXdl4

90% of it is looks. Lose the weight and try to put on some muscle. Even if not for girls do it for your own health and wellness. Lose the weight to try to stop yourself from becoming diabetic. But on muscle to help absorb insulin spikes. You've probably noticed yourself being chronically tired for the last decade+ right? That's a symptom of pre-diabetes. Most americans are by your age. Check out Dr. Eric Berg on youtube, he details his own recovery from it and his advice can help you live the best 2nd half of your life possible.

Finally if you want to peer behind the curtain of relationships check out Orion Taraban: https://www.youtube.com/@psychacks it's a redpill/blackpill backed by psychology. The implications of what he preaches are a bit grim but they are really important for you to internalize or you'll fuckup like bluepilled men do.

>>34306462
I hate bluepilling with a vengeance. I've often felt tired, but not badly fatigued since I can get around physically without too much of a problem. The gym is something that I lost motivation in where before I was putting the muscle on in my late 30s. My outlook on it turned dark, where I wasn't doing it for a good reason. Just puffing myself up to compensate for how small I am internally. Then I further fuck myself over with the excuse about getting older and the inevitable decline of strength and health.

Self-sabotage is one of my worst problems.

>>34306488
Anon you've neglected your medium-to-long term reward mechanisms for too long. You need to make your life a journey of self improvement. “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Try to eat whole foods and get more sunshine.Take some long walks and eat at a calorie deficit. You'll feel amazing being in a mild starvation mode. After you get thin work on putting on some muscle. Reap the rewards of a 6-month to a year long plan and be invigorated by your progress.

Anon you don't get to respawn with what you learned in life. This is all there is. You must push yourself to improve or you will continue to suffer the pain of loneliness and disconnection from social groups. There's so much more to enjoy in life if you're willing to force your life's direction towards those self directed goals.

>>34306527
Setting goals is another problem for me where I don't know what I want and doubt that it will work out. My negativity has infected my whole life. I even feel a depressive phase coming on.

>>34306558
If Jordan Peterson is to be believed critical thinking and thought itself leads to depression. You must replace rumination with action.

What you have is nothing new, Nietzsche talked about it back in the 1900's. You must shape yourself and your life or entropy will do it for you. People will want to be your friend if you're fit and attractive. Don't end up like stardusk/thinking-ape on youtube. He's going the distance as a loner and its not going well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNNariHtxh4
Unicorn - No Way Out Of Here

>>34306567
All I see from realists like you is talk talk talk. Try to think less and jump to the other side before the cliff crumbles over by the time you thought of the most logical answer to the problem.

Point is, yeah his problems suck. Yeah he needs alternatives. However, what could be happening is that he talks loudly about doing something, halfway does it, fucks off to his friends to talk about dumb shit, and then loudly gives excuses why he couldn't.

Here is an answer that is realistic, THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS TO LIFE!

Zero, fucking zero. Life with its reward has its fucking pain and you have to fucking face that pain day in and day out to make it through.

And you are over here thinking there has to be a logical answer. Well realist, the ledge is falling down the distance is coming nearer and nearer and you have to do something right away, you gonna waste time thinking or do something?

>>34306567
Action is right in front of me. The bitch of it is that I catastrophize potential outcomes. That something bad will happen if I act. I got that from C-PTSD from my formative years. I wasn't normal and am still not normal which affected my psychology. The negatives got trained in deeply. I attend therapy to help me recover from it, but all the causes of my negativity are often crippling. I've known a long cycle of abuse that created my anxious and self-loathing mind. My problems are compounded, and stitched together like some horrible monster made of various parts.

>>34306602
I don't know why you're framing this like I disagree with you.

>However, what could be happening is that he talks loudly about doing something, halfway does it, fucks off to his friends to talk about dumb shit, and then loudly gives excuses why he couldn't.
Anon the overwhelmingly likely scenario is that this anon has 0 friends and almost 0 social interaction.

There's a youtube short of Orion Taraban (psychhacks) saying he tried noodling it out in his head in his 20's and that went nowhere. He had to go out and experience things to judge if he wanted to do them more or not. Goes for anything, jobs, hobbies, sex etc.

OP >>34306558 you said you "don't know what I want and doubt that it will work out." - You need to go out and experience things in the right frame of mind to build your judgement. That starts with being prepared for those experiences. Getting your body fit will help your mental wellness to accurately judge if you want to do more of whatever you set as your goal.

>>34306609
How about we not do the smart thing and confirm you being a victim. How about instead you take action with your life now. Please do something now. Sitting in a moult just comforting people that your life is disasterous as a theatric to them is monkey behavior. There are people who have gone through worse than you and still didn't give up.

>>34302304
Why did he end up as a virgin?

>>34306609
Anon most of us on this website are autistic and were shunned socially starting in gradeschool.

The only thing I can say is identifying with anything is gay.
Oh I'm a goth kid - gay
Oh I'm a depressed person - gay
Oh I'm an introvert - gay
Oh I'm a Korn fan - gay
Oh I'm a gay guy - gay

You have to accept your circumstances without judgement and work towards changing them. Just tell yourself yes I tend towards introspection and rumination and that hasnt really improved my life that much, its time to change and start living more outwardly. Start taking steps towards goals and outcomes you want. Don't let negative self talk hold you back.

Those youtube channels I've mentioned are goldmines. Replace your streaming time with them, click on any of their videos that seem remotely relevant to you and pay attention. While you take long walks to get the pounds off is a perfect time to listen to them. These men have been where you are and have overcome. They will literally give you roadmaps to getting out of your rut if you listen and try.

No one will tell you what to do, people are concerned with their own shit. Every change in your life is going to come from you. There's nothing you cant make progress towards if you're willing to continuously try for it. Failure isnt just possible its guaranteed, but you just pivot from there and keep at the goal. This reminds me of my favorite presidential speech:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7-it-is-not-the-critic-who-counts-not-the-man

>>34306609
Have you considered catastrophizing what happens if you don't make changes in your life?

>>34302209
that was a whole lot of nothing.
>Find someone to care about
No one has ever had this idea!

>>34300315
>I feel like sex and relationships seem distance and inaccessible for me. Like I could never do it because something is broken in me. I have little self-esteem, but I overcame a problem with anger outbursts. I see the happy couples and feel as if I am something inhuman and invalid because I won't/can't do what they can. My thoughts turn inward to invalidate me, bringing suicide ideation with them. It seems like my life is doomed. That I'm unworthy, alien, and a freak. Despite my interests, I often feel empty.
Absolutely everything you feel is 100% accurate.

>>34306646
I've done it, and I know that will lead to likely overwhelming suffering.

>>34307680
Real discipline is knowing what you truly want. Every moment of every conscious decision.

>>34300315
Brother, if you have bipolar disorder, you go through periods of hypersexuality and hypomania, which should make you charming as hell and horny.
So there is obviously something else psychologically going on.
Like you are super religious or feel nervous about getting emotionally close to anyone.
Figure out the root cause if you want to solve your virginity problem.

>>34308891
The root is an old complex trauma that fucked over my self-perception and fragmented my identity. It programmed me incorrectly.

>>34306762
Dude. Stop being a selfish prick, that's what I meant.

Have you ever even cared about someone? Not talking to be attracted or infatuated, or comitted either. Have you felt pity and went out of your way to make time for someone? Have you sought someone because spending time with them felt good? That's what I'm talking about, and yes, looking for that is hard specially when your eyes see nothing but shit. If you have a problem with seeing value in people then you have to solve that first.

>>34309021
That Anon is a fisherman.

>>34306622
>Why did he end up as a virgin?

Honestly man, I don't know. He's not ugly, he's not a handsome stud either, he's more or less the same as myself looks wise. He's not autistic or socially retarded either he's actually very successful with social circles, even better than me at making new contacts and maintaining friendships. And I know for a fact he isn't gay either or something, he's had a couple of short lived relationships that just didn't go into sexual territory because he wanted to go slow.

My only guess why is because he's got the soul of someone born in the 1800's in the body of a modern man lol. By that I mean he is very nice and noble and a gentleman through and through. He isn't a fake nice guy either, he genuinely is a kind guy, really really kind. His kindness he never expects anything in return, doesn't even get angry or seethe when women rejected him. Doesn't sperg out over petty shit, he just stays positive.

And I think that's why he remained a virgin, he just lacked this edge to him or something and unfortunately women today are absolute gluttons for punishment, only interested in men who are at least somewhat crude and boorish with the capability to be mean. Women just passed on him time and time again. And he didn't care he just moved on with life and pursued his own interests and hobbies instead. Which is why I think he's so fucking cool, cuz he never lets bullshit get him down

>>34309042
>he genuinely is a kind guy, really really kind. His kindness he never expects anything in return, doesn't even get angry or seethe when women rejected him. Doesn't sperg out over petty shit, he just stays positive.
Yeah that tracks, the modern women doesn't care about that shit, it's an active deterrent. If you don't act like a nigger to her and everyone around you and constantly put her emotions on a rollercoaster her pussy dries up.

>>34306625
Getting /fit/ is a load of crap, I've done it and literally nothing changed.
No amount of muscle will fix your social skills if you're fucked up inside.

In regards to all the 'jUsT dO sOmEtHiNg AbOuT iT' answers, being a guy in OP's situation, breaking the cycle of loneliness is a really hard thing to do since it's almost impossible to create bonds with another human being when you emanate sadness and its noticeable.

>>34300315
They gain confidence from all the teen pusy they had but hey that’s pedophilia even though it’s legal, so settle for a 40 year old hag that complains about how her ex boyfriends are better than you she cheats on you and leaves.
Approaching a stranger and flirting is sexual harassment.

>>34309021
Yes, I have. I have family. I at one point had friends, before everyone's lives got in the way. what's your point?

>>34309583
So your solution is to complain about people who do and say it all is worthless?

>>34309796
I'd settle for nothing instead of a leftover woman, and that's where my situation has led to. Fuck me all to hell.

>>34310411
I don't have a solution unfortunately; that's why I'm in this thread.
I just know, from firsthand experience, that OP is being set up for disappointment if he follows that advice.
I think he should follow it either way; however, it's not going to fix any of his existing issues.

>>34302625
>I'm not big on self-love
There's your problem lol

>>34300315
Well, first and foremost, how are them magic powers coming in? They should be starting about now.
>I'm kinda lost
First you need therapy. You gotta deal with how your trauma responses aren't needed anymore, and give yourself permission to move forward.
>I attend therapy
Ok, then you need service. You need to serve others. It showcases your talents (you're 40, there must be something that you know about or can do) and gets you to touch the community.
Volunteer work is the most common option, but it could be different too. Kinda hard to tell you how to go about it without knowing what sort of community you live around and what you enjoy doing, so you're on your own there. If you're a basic bitch and have no ideas, start from a soup kitchen.

>>34309583
It's better to be stuck in a rut while fit than while fat.
It's not magic, but it's one of the few legal and easy accessible things that will regulate your hormones to make you a tiny bit happier.
It should be a small, but noticeable, effect.
If it's not, you're working out seriously, over a period longer than just a couple of weeks, enough to see some differences in your body, and it never ever did ANYTHING to you and your mood, you should check with a doctor, because there's something that's not working properly.

>>34302304
yeah yeah if he is so great then why did all of the hundreds of women who he met in 45 YEARS of his life decide that he is not worthy of having a relationship with

>>34310588
I agree that it's better to be stuck in a rut while fit than while fat, and I'm pro-fitness for physical health's sake. However, what OP is assumably struggling with is a mental issue that isn't fixed simply by getting fit. At his age, if his social skills have atrophied from years of disuse, it's a visible deficit. Fitness is great, but it's not a silver bullet; you can't hide a lack of social fluency behind a better physique because people still notice those 'off' interactions immediately.

>>34310632
And I agree with you that it's not a silver bullet, it won't fix all evils in one shot. Or 100, it just won't magically fix shit.
But that doesn't mean that
>Getting /fit/ is a load of crap
It's a small thing that gives a small but real improvement to your daily life.

>>34310625
>yeah yeah if he is so great then why did all of the hundreds of women who he met in 45 YEARS of his life decide that he is not worthy of having a relationship with

Women are not goddesses. "Not worthy of having a relationship with". Get a hold of yourself, anon. Not everyone is a sad and pathetic cretin with no sense of self that they have to depend on others to define their self worth for them.

>>34310656
It’s just too generic.
You might as well tell him to start a 401k or drink more water.

>>34310695
I can give you that it's weak, because there effect isn't that amazing, but it's not generic.
When issues come up in our lives, fitness is often one of the first things to go down the drain, if it ever was a priority at all, and has a negative compounding effect.
So no, it's just generic enough to be relevant for most people.

>>34310632
It has very little to do with that, and more with the fact that action results in more action. Getting off your ass and doind anything is a vital first step.
And yes, being more attractive makes it of course easier to deal with women, being non-sedentiary makes it easier to motivate yourself to do anything, and regularly getting out of your comfort zone makes it easier to keep doing it in other areas.

Yeah, my problem is almost entirely mental. Social skills... I haven't got them quite like the well-adjusted people. Fitness: lost a lot of motivation, plus going through trial periods of new medications that have added up to a small palm full for each day. Spaghetti at a wall, and the results have been helpful, at least. I think my attitude toward my virginity has been very negative as though it is some inescapable curse. People put virgins down, and they love to feel superior. I've got so much soul searching to do that it's a long, unmanecured dirt road. I do radiate sadness since my body language reflects it much of the time. You can't hide it no matter how many fake smiles you wear. I'm many layers of fucked up with a long list of symptoms. If anyone here has never dealt with low self-esteem, I hope you never have to. Imagine going from being sure of yourself and being generally happy to an unsure, self-denying, and miserable.

>>34311413
Yeah, people really don't grasp how impossible it feels from the inside.
At this point, I don't think it’s achievable alone.
Your best bet is having a high-energy, extroverted friend to basically 'pull' you into social situations, assuming you even have someone like that.

>>34310683
you seem mad
of course self worth is ultimately something only you can define, thats why there is the word "self" bruh
i wanted to say, that if one has no friends or no girlfriend or no achievments, there might be a reason for it
before your 70iq ass starts assuming again, only the gf part applies to your brother (as far is i know by now lol)

>>34311979
Of course I seem mad, its because your flippant remark about my brother's worth made me mad, especially since you outsourced his worth to what women do or don't do, it was pathetic of you to suggest.

>>34300315
I went from being an incel for about 15 years mainly due to drugs but I'm clean and normal now and women throw themselves at me. You just need a car and a little bit of money and the desire or want to be with a woman and if you put yourself out there enough you attract something.

Stop getting on 4chan. Start spending all your time on social sites with girls. You gotta pit yourself out there and get used to rejection. That's what blind dates used to be for, it was a way for single people to get out there and mingle. That's what social media is today. Put more effort into it. Or stay at home and play with your little wee wee. You pick.

It's all in your mind. All that im not worthy, I can't do it, I've spent too much time alone sht is all mental delusions bro. Idc if you never dated until you were 80. You can do it if you really want to, you're problem is you don't reslly wanna date. And you kinda feel bad for the fact that you don't want what everyone else wants so you close it with acting like you feel bad for Being a virgin at 40 which is perfectly fine if that's what you wanna do. You're kinda just on here making excuses. Why are you on here and not a dating app? I'll even help you. I'll make you some socials and tell you what girls to add and what to say and if you had a car and could go to em I bet you $100 I could get you laid, same day. FOR FREE. No matter how you look. Girls are simple and they honestly do not care about looks at all, they go off energy, vibes, connection.

>>34311995
pathetic to notice that in all of the relationships, that could have been in his life but didnt *for some reason* happen, he was the common denominator?
maybe pragmatic was the word you wanted to use

>>34312029
Pragmatic? Pragmatism has to do with dealing with issues according to realism. My life and my brother's life are not your reality. You're right maybe not only pathetic, but also presumptuous. In his last relationship he got dumped because the girl was mad that he was caretaking our dying mother. And the girl was angry she couldn't get all of his time. There's your answer, asshole. You over-estimate what you think you can know, that's why you instantly presume someone you don't even know is somehow problematic, and you do that because you are rigged to worship vagina for whatever reason. That's why you used those weak words in your prior post "not worthy to have a relationship with". That came out of your words, your typed them. That tells me that's how you see male-female relations. That the woman is some goddess to be appeased at all times. Pathetic

>>34312046
>>34312029
Also that blind spot in your arrogance is here btw
>*For some reason*
Whenever you contemplate on reasons, if you don't know the reason, keep your fucking mouth shut.

>>34312046
thank you for getting ragebaited so easily
thats why i love this board

>>34312059
Oh no problem. I'm glad I could entertain you. Enjoy being unable to be sincere in everything you do, the emptiness inside must be worth it. Ggs.

>>34310435
I don’t even find women my age attractive, my penis shrivels up when I look at them. They want to look repulsive on purpose to piss of men.

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>absolutely zero questions asked in the OP
what specifically are you asking for help with?
>everything else
to be honest, you have to ask yourself how much sex or a relationship actually means to you. Not assessing that it means a lot to you simply because other people fuck like rabbits. You are an older man, and you have missed the biological breakpoints of when you want to have sex the most, which is biologically around your puberty time and maybe your early twenties. I'm 28 now and even though I've had a lot of girlfriends I made it a point to never have sex. I want sex, don't get me wrong, but I have an increasingly high standard for who I'm giving my body to. Whether it's a bad or a good thing is to be debated, but I expect the same thing from my lover. I fucking dream about being attractive enough again to be someone actively dating but the reality is--- women and their bitching just isnt worth the hole even if you are attractive and skilled as fuck. The family you adopt isn't worth the value you provide. The lifestyle changes obscure most any and all forms of privacy you've built. The little time you've had these days now becomes miniscule and, at that point, you are breaking your back for a woman who has a 50% chance of leaving you and moving on within that year. Do you really want that Opie? I wouldn't blame you if you don't, because most normal people try and fail to the point it's nauseating. I want my one and only, so I at least have to be attractive. But even then is it worth sacrificing my creature comforts for these rabbits? The answer for me right now is yes, so I can have the privilege of saying no. So I can get the validation and leave with no trace of dirt on me. To emotionally keep myself occupied and build character, and grit as a gift for myself, because no woman will love me until i love me.

>>34312661
No, I don't want the bullshit that relationships bring, or end up ruined over a bad divorce. I also understand that the best years of my body are long gone. I just needed input about what to consider now that my options are very limited. That if I need to accept that the windows are all closed, how to move along from it is important to me. I regret that a potentially beautiful season of life never happened for me. There has been no one to share my life with and so it's one of many things that eat at me. Like it's so hopeless and worthless that I may as well cut my junk off and throw it in a meat grinder. I turn the blame inward because there's nowhere else to pin it.

>>34313180
Don't bother trying to get it. Some people are extra special fucked up in a way that people who aren't can't understand.

You also have to be 18+ to post here.

>>34313180
Just be slightly autistic and thats it. You give ICK to majority of girls and cannot read the signs (even if you did, you wouldnt know what to do next) from a few girls that might be into you.

>>34313357
One hair out of place and it's over. Turn in your man card and an hero.