Throwaway account for obvious reasons.I (M21) recently caught a notification on my GF's (F21) phone from a guy friend of hers. It was a response to a provocative "thirst trap" she posted (pole dancing/showing off her figure). We had a clear, established boundary about her not posting that kind of stuff for male attention, which she agreed to.The guy’s message said: "Dumbo’s gonna be pissed."When I confronted her, she admitted "Dumbo" is her nickname for me. She tried to claim it’s because of my ears (they aren't big), but the context makes it clear: it’s a nickname they use to mock me for having boundaries. She knew I’d be "pissed" because she was intentionally breaking our agreement and laughing about it with another dude behind my back.The kicker:When I asked how she’d feel if I had a secret insulting nickname for her that I used with my female friends, she completely dodged the question. She started throwing out "gender ideology" and her "pansexual identity" as a reason why my comparison didn't work. It felt like total word salad used specifically to avoid taking responsibility for being disrespectful.I feel like I’m being gaslit and mocked in my own relationship.Have any of you dealt with a partner who uses a "secret" nickname for you with the "guy friend" she tells you not to worry about?How do you handle it when a partner uses "identity politics" or jargon to deflect from a basic lack of respect/loyalty?Is this a "pack your bags" situation or is there a way to talk sense into someone who thinks their identity gives them a pass to be disrespectful?
>>34310171Why are you dating this person to begin with?
>>34310171Yes, this is a pack your bags situation. She doesn't respect you as a person, she doesn't even see anything wrong with it. You can't teach it out of her if she's unwilling to learn.
You should probably break up with her regardless of if you want to fix things or not. If she really cares about you she’ll change and you’ll get back together. If not you dodged a bullet. Breakups aren’t the end they’re just a change. Better to do it now and not when you’re 30!
Have fun of your ownShare some nudes of her with people she knows or her cousinsThat can be fun af
>>34310171Hey dumbo, can i be your wife's boyfriend?
>>34310261I already did this once when she was texting some other dude about our relationship issues behind my back. I explained it to her again that this was a violation and she thought it only was a boundary for that specific guy and not the actual pattern of behavior. she l iterally said "but that was with bob, this is with jim" jesus christ. and im dumbo lmao.
>>34310275She's playing stupid, she calls you dumbo bro. She thinks you're an idiot and you don't know what she's doing.
>>34310171first thing I'd do is MAKE that bitch believe an elephant could fly nawmimsayin playboy
>>34310171>Throwaway account for obvious reasons.You repost this from Reddit or something? I couldn't find the original. You a bot?
>>34310279right. shes def cheating. last time i broke up with her she cried and had a panick attack and broke down like i never seen it before so i thought oh maybe she doesnt like me. guess not.
What tons of chicks want is a guy to keep on a leash while they do whenever they want. It’s your job to show her she doesn’t get that, especially not from you.
>>34310291 not a bot. i just posted to reddit but mods are slow af.
>>34310292You're being played. You can break up and turn her into a FWB. Based on what you described, she sounds like that kind of person. Plus, you then get to date other people. There are no downsides as she's already dating other people anyway.
>>34310299Why do you post both on 4ch and plebbit? You only get to choose one.We have a secret nickname for you too: NIGGER
>>34310171My advice? Extreme sass. Tell her you want sovereignty and that if she calls you dumbo next to her friends then she needs to call you only Dumbo to your face too.When you go out with her to meet any of her friends, and she or her friends try to address you by your real name then say "But I thought I am Dumbo". And when they ask why Dumbo just answer "Idk. Ask her."If someone asks you if you are fine with it answer "[OP's gf name] is fine with it", completely dodging the question. Continue this farce until she either apologizes or gets bored of the whole ordeal.Be relentless and don't break out of the character.She doesn't have respect for you as a man, which you desire. Not only making fun of you behind your back, but also refusing to admit it too.But ultimately there is nothing more manly than to confront the uncomfortable truth head on, in the most unapologetic way possible, until nobody other than yourself can take the heat anymore and then folds.
>>34310589This is just desperate and fishing for an exact reaction which will probably never come. Not worth it, just leave.
>>34310598>do nothing and quitThat's not a real advice you stupid faggot.
>>34310612Yes it is. The relationship is unsalvageable. She's never going to suddenly respect him. You shouldn't continue it just to get a win that's never going to come.
>>34310651Yeah not sure how I can even look at her anymore. She kept saying she didn't say it and it was her friend only. They've been doing it for an entire year and she claims it was my hookup nickname
>>34310589Female-brained response. Why sink more time and effort into a negative outcome? They're not worth continuing a relationship with, they're absolutely not worth collecting a criminal offense over so why would you fuck around and waste your implicitly more-valuable-than-hers time? You're lowering your own standing further by resorting to petty passive aggressive behaviour.>>34310171Get the fuck outta there. If you care to cover your ass and she leaves her phone unattended, grab it, snap a few screengrabs of her texts involving you and then shoot them to yourself, then delete the notifications on her phone.Normally I'm against snooping on other people's phones but this kind of scenario sounds exactly like the kind of thing that psychotic partners will run around and lie about, demolishing any social bonds you still have with people you mutually know, if not worse.But bare minimum, get the fuck outta there. You gave her a clear boundary, she didn't respect it and ontop of that the evidence is highly indicative that if she isn't currently cheating, she's entertaining the kind of behaviour where she expects to be at some point in the future and/or rebounding.>>34312136Are you living together, living separate, what's the situation there?
>>34312162Living together. I pay all the rent and name is on my lease. Again last time I got her to pack for a similar offense she broke down harder than I've ever seen her before. Like her dog died bad. She's away for a trip now thankfully I feel like packing things for her. She mentioned she wasn't feeling sexually fulfilled the past 6 months so I'm assuming she's stepped out. Main issue is the toxic loop in which she changes for a week and reverts
>>34312186Yeah, I'd advise you end that shit forthwith my man. I don't know about the legalities about where you live but depending on local legislation getting her the fuck out might not be as simple as telling her to pack and gtfo. Some places have laws to protect people from getting yeeted even when they are demonstrably in the wrong. You'll have to do your own research on that.Would strongly advise to not fold to her likely breakdown when you tell her to get gone; that too will be a toxic loop that she'll be taking advantage of.My advice; do your due diligence, research your local laws in regards to non-leased tenants and their civil rights in terms of being forcibly ejected from the premises by the lawful tenants. If the law is unambiguously on your side feel free to pack her shit and put it outside the back door and call for a locksmith to come change the keys.100% a person acting the way you described is not going to recant of their prior behaviour nor change it in any meaningful nor lasting way. Nobody has time for that bullshit, regardless of what your personal circumstances are. Get her gone and learn to enjoy peace and quiet for a while. Also as I said earlier >>34312162, if you feel confident in doing so and have no personal compunctions about it, getting copies of her texts involving the shit she says about you behind your back will go a long way to supporting your side of things, if/when she tries to throw a brick through your window socially and/or otherwise.
>>34312194An addendum; even if the tenancy protection laws aren't unambiguously in your favour you can also still pack her shit and stack it and tell her to fuck off. You're under no obligations to represent her rights on her behalf; if she wants to dig her heels in and make it difficult for you, that's something she can learn about on her own time. In a lot of cases people aren't aware that they can pull that kind of shit so they just take it as an acceped fact that it's time for them to go. Other people have the good taste and morals if they've done something shitty to also not make it harder and to depart.
>>34312202all good where i am there isnt any of that bs
>>34312267Pack her shit and get the locks changed then my guy. If she takes long enough that you get the locks changed call her up and tell her she can pick up her stuff at a place you've put them. Don't be a tool and throw it in a dumpster or anything because that can also come back to bite you; cops can get involved and you can get dragged to court over damages. Not worth the grief. Stack it in a corner out of the way, preferably by a back door or something she can access without keys.
>>34312272change the locks? yeah? she gave me the key back last time., should i worry?
>>34310171If my girlfriend pulled that shit, I'd beat her so badly and so often that she'd never speak to any other man again, let alone insult.
>>34312290If someone has a key, they can make a copy of it. Costs a couple dollars at a keycutter's. You'd have a better read of her than strangers on the internet but if there's any doubt at all that she might possibly pull some crazy bullshit, I'd change the locks if only for your peace of mind. If you're the handy sort you can even do it yourself but you'll have to provide the property owner with a new set of those keys also. You would save a significant amount of money if you can change the locks on your own, if you're confident in being able to do so.
>>34310171dumbo, I guarantee you are tasting some of that "friend's" cum when you kiss her at night
>>34310171We get cross posting from reddit now? Shieeeet...This is one of those situations where you're being parasitized by a girl who lives off making fun of you and bringing you down. She's going to ruin you unless you leave now, it'll hurt much much much less if you leave now and don't look back.And yes, she's cheated, and still is. You've been totally played. Worse than cheating - you were disrespected and taken for a fool by a parasite that called themselves your gf. But try to move on buddy
>>34312362Why. Why do they do this. Why be with someone for a year you call dumbo
>>34312371Shit people, with shit parents, with selfish motives and a disregard for others over themselves. I've been affected too, ex of 5 years who I moved countries for went on a dating app behind my back and looked for a bf, found one, cheated on me, MOVED TO HIS COUNTRY, and is still with him a year and a half later. Meanwhile I haven't had a lick of sex or a hug this entire time, living alone and paying my own rent, while she's getting those daily AND lives for free at this dudes house.People are animals, animals can be selfish, animals can be transactional, animals can be altruistic, and we are super complex so we can be any level of those combined. Find a better animal, sorry that the world is like this and sorry that we're all going through this
>>34310171OP, other anons are right. You need to throw her out. Yesterday. Reddit is full of cuck retards so I get why you're here but for fucks sake.You really need to ask what's more important: your self respect or short term pussy?Because, she's banging other dudes and shit talking your name while she's doing it.This is one of the situations that can scar you for life, bro. I've seen it.Sure it'll hurt for a while but when you find that woman who respects you, you're going to ask yourself why you put up with this current shit bag for as long as you did.
>>34310171Dump her. She doesn’t respect you.
>>34312467she just sent a messsage and got a screenshot from the guy apologizing now saying he 'thhought it meant a cute little elephant"im actually a bout to punch a fucking wall.
>>34312162>Female-brained response. Why sink more time and effort into a negative outcome? They're not worth continuing a relationship with, they're absolutely not worth collecting a criminal offense over so why would you fuck around and waste your implicitly more-valuable-than-hers time? You're lowering your own standing further by resorting to petty passive aggressive behaviour.Spoken like a true judeo-homosexual.>Don't breed, don't care about women, just be lonely good wagie/neetFuck off dumb faggot. Just because you are mentally ill doesn't mean everyone else is too.Advising someone to keep shuffling new partners like it's nothing is whore-like behavior.Idk why this thread attracted so many faggot ledditors. Probably bcs OP is also one of them.>>34312186In the end a real man can deal with any woman. A faggot can only dump and be dumped by the others due to his faggy insecurities.But know this if you think that having a nickname is some kind great "abuse", then you are a dumb self-pitying bitch who is looking for excuses.Ultimately if you are real man you will train your bitch into submission.And if you are not, then dump her, and be alone like dumb self-pitying faggot.And what if in the next relationship will also not be up to your insecure ass?And what if after that relationship you won't have a next relationship?Are you planning on becoming 30yo loser with nothing to fuck in his life the rest of this faggot board? If so, then this is your future:>>34309565 >>34289797 >>34300315No matter how many relationships you go through you always have to train your bitch. You'll need to train your next bitch too.Doing nothing and then quitting is neither a real advice nor a solution. Stop acting like a paralyzed wobbly pussy and show her who is the acting party in the relationship.
>>34312741you can look at a girl that calls you dumbo and still be attractive?
>>34312741Fag is advising men to hook up with lmaoOP, this is the most ironically toxic advice possible. There are a lot of turds out there and you found one of them. But most women are good and will treat you right so long as you respect that woman and respect yourself.You drew lines and she crossed them. Stick up for yourself or you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.
>>34312741>Be a man and train your bitch>By forcing her to call you a retard>Surely eventually that will make them feel embarrassed and get in lineYou talk like your advice is to discipline his girlfriend but it's literally just to let her call him a retard openly, lol. I would love to imagine you're this guy who thinks he's tough but just acts like a retard constantly but I know more likely than not you're 300 pounds and haven't seen the sun in years.
>>34312741when do you give up? I literally told her to stop bringing in external guys into the relationship issues or venting and she brought an ex, some random fucking bodybuidler bro and now this simp. Theres fighting and stating your boundaries but shes crossed them every single time.>>34312741faggot can only dump? uh bro no faggots put up with this shit get cucked get cheated on and get dumped before dumping
>throw away account for obv-You little reddit posting cock sucking faggot. Whatever your issue is i hope it gets worse. Don't you dare ever come here with your low test updoot horse shit again your taint sucking piece of shit. Saged obviously.
>>34312863uh answer the quesiton
>>34310589That's genuinely the gayest shit I've ever read. That's literal fag shit. You don't tackle issues by acting like a girl that can't directly confront what's going on. Being petty is retarded and will further just make her and everyone around you think less of you. You'll look like the weakest faggot doing that shit. If you have an issue you bring it up. If they're gonna try and run you in circles and guilt trip you, then you shut up, and pack her shit and watch as she crumbles under the pressure. It's essentially similar to how you deal with a cheater. You remain silent and watch as they go through every apology and accusatory argument under the sun, and then never take accountability for themselves, which further proves you were right. Trying to tame someone that's clearly not only disrespected you once, but continued to do so after being caught and told off before, is the most ass backwards bullshit of all time. She's using him. She's 1000% already cheated on him. He's lucky they're using something like "dumbo" despite how unbelievable it sounds that anyone even uses dumbo anymore. He should be finding texts of them straight up calling him a cuck because that's what's happened. He's providing for a woman that has zero respect for him, but she somehow doesn't have a contingency plan so she breaks down when he finally stands up for himself. She most likely has BPD on top of it so you can't even get an accurate reading on if she loves him, because she doesn't even know herself.
>>34312202You have a very beautiful vocabulary anon, respect
>>34313336>She's using him. She's 1000% already cheated on him>He should be finding texts of them straight up calling him a cuck because that's what's happened.That's exactly what did happen. Don't project your NTR fetish on someone else.I advise you to quit porn/anime and to never post here ever again, freak.
>>34310171>Throwaway account for obvious reasons.What?
>>34310171Dude, just fucking leave the slut. I promise she's fucking that other retard.
>>34310171leave her
>>34313366agreed
>>34310171"I'm pansexual" is woman speak for "hit me in the face with a frying pan as hard as you can"No matter how many relationships you go through you always have to hit your bitch in the face with a frying pan. You'll need to pan your next bitch too.
>>34310171I wouldnt have even spoken to her after this
>Throwaway account for obvious reasons.Saging this dogshit for obvious reasons.
>>34316051Yeah she ended up admitting it was because we had different political opinions. I'm pretty moderate and apolitical/checked out, she's very liberal and progressive which i thought was ok because I still liked her personality and realized it was just her school and age that influenced a lot of it. She admitted the dumbo name wasn't about elephant ears and it was our political misalignment. I'm not even far right I didn't vote and I'm burnt out on politics. She was talking to this dude for a year about how much of a dumbo I was for that.
]eh reddit banned me from posting this so i knew i had to post it here
in a just society this would be grounds for public stoning and execution. i fucking hate women so god damn much.
Bummmp
pack your bags. why would you even consider dating someone who posts privacy content online?
>>34310171Your GF is a pretty obvious slut. A whore. And you take her seriously and get all worked up. Treat her like the whore she is.
I would never accept her in my life if that is who she is
>>34310171>Throwaway account for obvious reasons.>>>/r/edditalso, just stop being a cuck, dump her, forget her asap and get a new gf
>>34312371Why did you get to thisYou are either desperate like ur mom died and ruined your credit, or your mom has money but has been extremely bossy so your friend with the dead mom is in the middle of nowhere. So you are dealing with dirty whores you really just try to work with until you can leave, or you're a total richtard and letting shit women use the fuck out of you, because you've confused you being the man with you being the rich guy getting used. Like people need to think about stuff like leverage and who benefits and shit like that. People usually actually just have shit personalities that never got checked. I've never used this word until a few years ago but BULLYING. when people are passive aggressive, cheating, gossiping, spinning things, it's all bullying. Stay far away from all bullying, and if you are rich, well idk fuck you there's no hope, bc other people who are worth nothing will be lying about me
>>34324249prob my dad never stuck up to my mom. playing out the same shit.
>>34310261So if she promises to change and fix and work on herself you could still take her back after a year long betrayl?
>>34310171>male friendslol
Bumpppppp
>>34310171Oh to be 21 again
>>34310171>Throwaway account for obvious reasons.COPY PASTING REDDIT POSTS TO /ADV/?USELESS MOD TEAM!??!?!IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK
>>34310171If you do snoop through her phone like other people are suggesting, DON'T confront her about it or even let her find out that you looked through her phone without permission. That shit is illegal, I know because I got arrested for doing exactly that when I was in a similar situation with a BPD bitch. In the UK, it falls under the Computer Misuse Act 1990 - accessing a computer device that you do not have permission to access. I don't know about the US or wherever it is that you live, but it's worth being really careful and checking up on the law. If you must look, then do it only for your peace of mind, not to blow up and confront her about it. She sounds like she's fucking using you, bro, and you should leave her and forget about her. You're only 21, you're still young and have so much life ahead of you, trust me, you will find someone else, someone you'll love and who will love you back. Good luck, man.
>>34310259>>34310261>>34310296anything sheh could say to fix things or make you thinnnk shes tryna repair?
>>34310171>How do you handle a GFwhy have you not beaten this bitch's cunt ass by now?drop her this instant you shit head
Bumping need advice if you would ever forgive
