Drank 8 beers and went insane the other night and shouted at my parents and just acted horrible. I blamed my mom's side of the family for me being such a bpd fuckup, said id be happier if every single family member I had vanished off the face of the earth, told them I hate them both, probably mentioned killing myself like 30 times among other shit I'm sure I said. All of this happened after I've been completely ignoring them and shutting them out of my life for like two months.I don't feel like apologizing. Not because what I said wasn't completely horrible but I'm so sick of apologizing for everything I do to try and cleanse my soul when all thats happened during my apology tour is my life gets exponentially worse and people see me as a high maintenance faggot.Also to be honest, I still really hate my parents solely for being the reason I'm on this earth. All of this could've been avoided with a condom. They're good people but fuck I hate what they've created, I hate living with the fact that I'm me and I'm the end product of their carelessness. So it feels like no matter what, if I apologize I'm being disingenuous.But what do you think, what should I do?
>>34311779You should grow the fuck up and stop living in your childhood wounds and make a concerted effort to be better and not relying on these emotional bursts to satiate the demons inside you
>>34311791Suggestions?
>>34311779It doesn’t count when you’re drunk. Everyone should already know that.
liver detox
>>34311779Stop blaming other people for your ongoing failures. You yourself choose to not work on bettering your situation. Even if you get a bad start it is your responsibility to get better. It is your responsibility because no one else in the world can bring about actual lasting change in your persona, only you can.Start excercising and get in better shape, it will help with the mental aspect of things and will make you less suicidal. Things will get better if you keep at it, baby steps are not admission of defeat/lack of ability. You need to start somewhere.
>>34311779Stop drinking.
>>34311779Buddy I think what’s more important for you do is not to apologize but to forgive.
i need to quit drinking, and i think you do too
>>34311779Sounds like you need to get a life.
>>34311779sounds badass. can you move out yet
>>34311779Take care of yourself, get a job, practice minimalism, live below means, save, and invest.
>>34311779You were drunk. Forget about it.
Always wonder how this happens. I never did or say anything strange or outrageous no matter how pissdrunk I was.
>>34311779I'm ashamed that I used to do shit like that. Quitting the devil's nectar was one of the best decisions I ever made.
