hi, I'm bi and have this friend that sees me as her gay friend, or essentially a man she can "trust". Trust as in she knows i wont try to hit on her or try to get with her, she trusts me to not want to see her as opportunity. (i have a lean towards dudes and barely talk about women with her so at that point I'm just gay)essentially we have great platonic chemistry but for a while and even more so when i got drunk with her two nights ago, (even before getting drunk these thoughts began to creep on me)I've just been having these intense lustful thoughts about her. this isn't the first time, usually how it goes there's this girl i become great friends with and if we start to get really close i start to get horny for her. i wont get too deep into what fantasies i have, but i assure you they share a common theme and are intense.id rather not feel this way, cause this has happened before and ended horribly. I felt the same exact way. Talked to this girl, we became close friends, matched each others freak, decided to be friends with benefits, then decided to date, realize i don't love her romantically but just want to fuck and at the end of the day we should've just stayed FWB or never have had brought it up or gotten close in the first place.i love her platonically don't get me wrong but i could never provide or be a good partner cause i don't crave her romantically, and she's not even into me that way i know that. I just cant stop thinking about her in a lustful manner and it feels worse because I'm just like any other man now, I'm not that friendly could do no harm guy anymore I'm legit just another dude that wants to fuck or at least sees her in a sexual way, an "opportunity" its getting kind of bad, I'm kind of giving into my intense desire and fantasy but i have to stop, but i cant and its eating me alive, i don't want to lose this friendship i really do cherish her and it would suck if i did anything stupid or gave into my lustful desire.
does she have any habits that irk you, opinions you disagree with, weird secrets, etc. that you can focus on? something that just turns you off, not totally ruin your perception of her.hell you could even make one up. Like she doesn't use toilet paper, wipes with her hand and licks it lean. unless ofc that is something you are into.just keep it in your head, and distract yourself as soon as you think of it. It'll pass.
>>34327002shes flawed, i mean we all are but nothing about her irks me per say, if i make something up i just dont want to create this fucked up idea of her in my head because of my dick doing the thinking for me. i just want to forget about her for the time being...I know this can pass, and i hope it does cause ive just been crazy about this for the past 4 days, its to a point where she just turns me on with everything, her typing style, mannerisms, just stuff like that its not love, it just flicks something in my monkey brain. im a pest. ive genuinely thought about looking at sexual ocd symptoms like idk ive been like i said going crazy here.
there's no such thing as homosexuality or anything, you're just normal and attracted to her, but you have all kinds of weird BS getting in the way. time to reset everything and start fresh anon.
>>34327029you are totally in love with this girl!! go for it
>>34327290wtf don't encourage him. Did you even read? he said before this is the exact prelude to a messed up situation he experienced before.
>>34327290this would not be a good idea, i cannot be a good boyfriend unless i like them romantically. shes not into me this way and if i did make a move to date it would ruin everything. its this whole mess but this is enabling my sexual delusions. to be fair its a little less now cause ive been getting high and telling myself it doesnt matter but even when i do spend time with her ( will today later) i will have these horrible thoughts in the back in my mind
>>34327289i wish it was more cut throat, i wish it was a normal "crush" wanting to be with someone because you find them really attractive and you get along but i dont want to think of her this way, she is my friend. but my brain cannot help thinking about her in lust, its not love its not out of care its out of lust only." yeah let me fuck you today and tmrw act like nothing happened"iff we ever got together i would not "love her" i would not "take her out" i would not be a boyfriend id stay the same guy just like i said "fuck and pretend nothing happened'
Spend time together and enjoy each other's company.
>>34327907you can't "fuck and pretend nothing happened" that's not the way it works, and you know it. there's also no such thing as "platonic" love or whatever. it's all linguistic BS you've been fed all your life. If you are best friends with someone, and you want to have sex with her, that means something is going on, and you need to see it through. at least talk to her about it. otherwise you're just cucking yourself. and also explore the fact that you aren't "bi" that's some globohomo BS foisted on you as well. Ask your dad what to do.
>>34328061simple. buy a woman's time or be a gay man.
>>34328473I have money but I will never buy love, only provide for my love that doesn't need money to love me. I'm not gay
>>34328347i feel like it would ruin the friendship forever, she doesnt like me that way so its just not easily possible but i want it so badly. i dont know, i had dinner with her today but idk im not usually me idk if she can tell or not but idk how i would even bring it out to her something like this.
>>34329008There is no friendship. She sees you as a sexless social accessory, and you want to fuck her. Your relationship is floating on a lie. Everything else is irrelevant.
>>34329095here's the end game. although, to be totally fair, i have seen some of these "friendships" work out romantically. i watched a YouTube testimony where a gay man in Florida almost dies of aids, finds Jesus, and ends up with his best female friend who was "always there for him" although i suspect this only works when the woman is orbiting, not the man.
>>34329095though i dont believe with everything said here, idk if i should ever tell her or try to make a sexual move of some kind. ive been egging her on with brining up sexual topics and things of that nature to really get the ball rolling in that regard, or to know more of what shes "into" i guess. idk if i should tell her or not. Like i said i dont want a relationship, i just want to be with her sexually
>>34329170again that's not possible. sex is not separable from relationship without intense feelings of emptiness and regret. but i wouldn't blame you for not knowing that, if you hadn't experienced it.
>>34329107im scared of having a relationship because of my experience prior, i want to avoid it all costs. It reminds me of the same shit i did back then and im falling into this cycle again, i cant be in one with her and im scared and i dont want to. she just turns me on..
>>34329187should i just let it pass then? i dont know if it will go away. i dont want a relationship with her. so i guess i should just try to ignore these thoughts i suppose, i wont go anywhere and i should stop trying i dont want her to think im some fucking creep, but god does it eat away at me.
>>34329170She's a fag hag who is never going to see you as a real man. Do yourself a favor and start putting distance between yourself and her. If she asks you why just tell her straight out it's because you caught feelings you didn't want. If she does anything but admit she has secretly been dying to get with you it's time to ghost her.Sorry my guy, but that's how it goes.
>>34329201maybe. idk. i dont want to hurt her, i dont want to deal with this again, i hate myself in a way for this but what can i do im a man, and thats just how it is. Ill give it time, and if i doesnt go away i kinda feel like i have to, for both of our sakes
>>34329222Good luck, and be kind to yourself whatever happens. Life is weird.
>>34328061i do, and we get along geat but i hate this looming thought of "feelings" or "lust" but idk, itll pass i hope.. it just makes me feel horrible and guilty. Like a church boy refraining from sexual sin, in a way (dumb comparison but yk)
>>34329238We both suffer from a major case of calm your tits. CalmaCalma
>>34326983have you tried rebounding? this might backfire for you, i don't know, but it could help to get some real romance in your life to remind you of what you're actually looking for/how that differs from what you're feeling rn. the human brain can only focus on so many things at one time.i don't think you have anything to feel guilty for, though. these thoughts are involuntary, and while it sounds like you should keep trying to resist them to preserve the friendship, you've crossed no line and done nothing wrong. you're still a do-no-harm guy, because if you weren't, you'd be trying to hit instead of resisting your baser impulses.you're putting a friend before your personal gratification, which is admirable. i wish you luck
>>34329491i have people I'm interested in, but ever since that night i go drunk with her i haven't been the same mentally, that's when i knew i had a freak for her. so that's just been occupying my brain I'm trying to distract myself with the people i actually find attractive and want to pursue but this...event ..that had to happen to me is ruining my concentration.i know what i want. and i know when i want someone romantically, but libido and desire just over power that, even in very bad and unlucky circumstances such as this. But thanks, while i understand i haven't done anything and don't want to, the guilt is immense.
>>34326983I am also bi but I cannot relate to this. Do they know you are trying to find someone both romantically and sexually in general, even if subtly?
>>34326983start doing Prozac. They say that one side effect is the loss of sexual desire. It hasn't done shit for me, but maybe it will work for you.
>>34329816yeah, she does. ive expressed interest in other people.
