M23, F23. Been together 2+ years. Semi-LDR (1.5-2h apart).Her single Indian coworker/ bff (female) whom I have met but apparently does not like me after I made a comment at a new years' party about the BTS band all looking like women (she calls me a "white asshole")...has invited my gf to go to a birthday party at a friend of a friend's house this weekend- some guy who was there at the ny party flirting with said bff.It would be hosted at his place and there will mostly be guys present.Background:Now, my gf and I had a really quite nice date last weekend at a national park during and before which she said she'd be spending this weekend applying for new jobs at her bff's place, so we wouldn't be able to meet until the 21st. I was obviously fine with this (we meet on average 1-2 days/ week).When, as a change of plan, she was invited instead to a party today by the same bff, my gf did not ask if I could come with her as a +1 until I took issue with it. This made me feel like a bit of an afterthought and/ or like she was trying to placate me with sex (saying she'd book a hotel for us to stay at instead of her staying at bff's place). I am not so weak. To me, this behaviour is unacceptable and I told her as much, saying, unless she cancels, that I would be stepping away from this relationship. (1/3)
I am cognisant of how the above alone might make some (especially those lacking in options themselves and therefore the standards that they would hold a prospective partner to), think of me as being a bit over-bearing. It goes without saying, context is everything and I am considering going single for a decent length of time if it does come to that, given how this relationship has drained me (and not enough in the good way to compensate for the emotional and financial toll it has taken):- She had an emotional affair last summer during my finals. It was the most painful thing I have ever had to go through and caused me to have to push back my studies to avoid failing them.- Gossips far too much about private matters or "trauma dumps" in order to gain attention.- This includes venting about her relationship, which has caused those around her to suggest that she cheat/ leave. A couple of old friends are active cheaters. When she had the affair, almost no-one said anything.- Those around her increasingly include men, in a corporate atmosphere. It sends the wrong signals- even if unintended.- She has turned her parents and all her early friends against me, then complains about them and asks for advice on how to navigate the situation.- Always doing the above instead of talking about relationship matters with me directly.- Previous emotional affairs, with her talking to a rate of 1 guy per year so far since our getting together (2023-25).- This included having added on IG and texted with, a prior crush.- Used to send semi-nudes to accounts on twitter and discord for 'ratings' and kink talk (before dating).- Has also recently mentioned joining the military which to me is a red flag in consideration of the above. (2/3)
>2/3Got my popcorn, I love shitty drama
It's also worth stating, to be fair: I don't think she is the type to get into a physical affair. It's just that she is most certainly the type to get herself into an inextricable situation and she is terrible at saying no/ turning others down (a matter concerning harassment by a coworker last year, she'd only told me about 2 months later when raising it with HR)./adv/ what do? Was my response proportionate? Based on your experience, is there anything you'd change?(And yes, I've considered asking Reddit, but I would have to swap the sexes around for a fair assessment on there. Most of the guys on Reddit play the nonchalant card in trying to avoid the incontrovertible fact of their cuckold relationship dynamics). (3/3)
>>34327473> cognisant of how the above alone might make some (especially those lacking in options themselves and therefore the standards that they would hold a prospective partner to), think of me as being a bit over-bearing>- She had an emotional affair last summer during my finals. It was the most painful thing I have ever had to go through and caused me to have to push back my studies to avoid failing them.Homie, if you're going to accuse people of not having options, you shouldn't immediately follow it up by telling everyone you're staying with a woman who cheated on you.
>>34327480>It's also worth stating, to be fair: I don't think she is the type to get into a physical affair.Cheating is cheating. You are deceiving yourself.
>>34327467>Her single Indian coworker/ bff (female)It's over. You haven't even redpilled her on indians. Telling a woman to watch codex pajeet should be the opener.
>>34327535tsmt>>34327467OP are you also brown? Big whiff of asian-american or perhaps Toronto from this story. Very urban.
it's over. some women just aren't worth the effort.
>>34327473Obviously, you don't want someone like that. Although, most women are like this.
Thanks for your comments. She hasn’t talked to me since we’ve gotten home. I guess I’ll update if anything worthy of one happens.
>>34327467This reads like bait, but just in case this isn't you should leave her. This woman sounds awful. How can you have a future with this girl if she turns all of her friends and family against you? Also she clearly has zero respect for you, she should be walking on eggshells around you after having an emotional affair. Instead she's figuring out how to go to parties without you. Don't let her gaslight you into believing that wasn't purposefully trying to do that either. Women love to set things up in a way where they have plausible deniability. Things will only get worse from here, you don't have leverage.
