I'm currently in university and I've made several causal friends. We only talk about causal topics when we meet, never anything personal. I'd like to have some closer friends who I can share more with and I'd be happy if they did the same with me. How to move the relationship to a more personal sphere? I feel like it would be weird if I started talking about something personal out of nowhere. I've known most of the people I talk to here for about 2 years but I haven't really gotten closer to them. I'm bad at this stuff, any help?
Start by discussing art - literature, films, music. This will give you an insight into their beliefs about the world, humans and our place in the world. Following this, you will find that the conversation will naturally turn to discussing personal life.
Make do with the relationship the best you can seeing how things progress from there.
>>34327936Familiarity is the fuel for all relationships, every single one and that includes family, marriage, relationships, lovers, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers. The more often you interact with someone, the more prolonged those interactions become, eventually you grow closer. The only thing that slows this down or freezes it to a halt is if one or both people are people who, for whatever reason, find it very difficult to speak sincerely or vulnerably. And the way forward is to practice those things little bit by little bit until you expose yourself to the discomfort and push the comfort zone, normalize being 'seen' socially and emotionally and then you can resume with relationship building. Some people are too sincere though, and too vulnerable. They can make friends right away and make relationships in an instant. But such people attract a lot of chaotic shit. It's a fine balance that you will get the hang of OP.
college is like that. you know someone for 8 weeks or whatever, then the classes switch. it is what it is. later in life when you're living somewhere long term, etc, it will be easier. also, get a spouse. that's supposed to be your best friend, not some rando you met in college. life is transient/ephemeral. i had friends from >10 years ago that i spent hundreds of hours with talking about philosophy and religion. i stayed in touch with basically one, maybe two of them, and even still i only see them once a year or so. life gets busy as an adult. don't worry too much now. focus mainly on finding a wife. university is crunch time as all the eligible women are being snapped up at light speed. you have to strike.
>>34327936You don't "make" closer friends. They arise organically out of your circle of casual friends. The larger that circle, the more likely that you'll find some you get closer to
