>Be me, 35>Have idolized big-ass muscle men since I was little>Talkin' reading FLEX at the barbershop, rewinding and watching those scenes in Space Jam (you know the ones) over and over, trying to curl those little 6-pound aerobics weights, before I was 6>Gravitate towards being friends with the biggest and tallest guy in class, like it would rub off on me or something >Probably because I was, and continue to be, quite short and small-framed>Over time, became a desire for a big body however I could get it: muscle, fat, height, anything but being small>Long story short, I have never been able to maintain progress>Topped out at 5'8", in a family of literal basketball and lacrosse players>Couldn't make any headway at all with muscle until I was almost 17, when I finally put on 20 pounds to reach 160>180 the next year>200 by 20 >215 at 21>That looks like linear progress, but there were a lot of points in between where I was laid up, sick and injured>Back to 180 after graduating>Early 20s: 230, another break, 245, get really sick and back to 190
>>34330112>Mid 20s: 230, lose job, back to 200 for years>Late 20s: finally get to a builtfat 260 for like 3 days, switch to night shift, it bleeds out, lose job, get on keto during pandemic, back to 180>30s: Another few years of bouncing between 190 and 230, get job, finally seeing some real progress again; lose job, get progressively sicker/more injured, currently at 220, haven't been to the gym in months>Realize I'm getting old>Knee problems>Elbow problems>Neck problems>If I declare now my new start, I'll be in my 40s before I reach my goal of 350+ pounds>How long would I even be able to maintain that?>But most of my friends are also size enthusiasts and are huge already, or at least actually making strides>Can already feel a rift forming as they realize I might be a lost cause who will only ever fantasize about growing bigger and never actually join them in that shared experience>Plus, if I give up, my asshole father and brother win (my stunted growth being a product of the former's favoritism for the latter)>This shit has literally plagued me all my life>But I can't let it go. Deep down, I've never felt right with my physical selfDunno what to do. Feels like gender dysphoria but I didn't know cis people could have that.
>>34330112ok
Do you have the slightest inkling of how very very uninteresting other people's weight logs are?
>>34330202he is obviously a narcissist so
>>34330217probably a faggot too
>>34330217Raised by narcissists, picked up their habits, trying to detox.>>34330266Dick tastes good.
>>34330588Does it really, though?
>>34330659I'll admit that it may be more the texture.
