What's keeping you going? What makes you get out of bed everyday and keep moving forward? I myself have nothing, no reason to keep trying. And even though it feels right in my head that nothing really matters, it still feels like I'm making a mistake by wanting to give up. I won't get into detail as to what's causing me to ask this, I'm not here to vent. I've ignored thinking about this matter for a long time. But lately it has become too much to ignore. And this question has always been coming up on my mind: "Why bother, for what?" Seriously, what's the point? I can just assume that there is one and keep trying my best, but what meaning does that hold if I might never even perceive it? And at the same time it's tiring as fuck to go through the same shit everyday without even knowing why. I have people that I deeply care about and love, I have my own responsibilities, I have my own dreams and ambitions, memories, experiences, things I look forward to. But I don't know why I even care in the first place. Sometimes things get too much, sometimes things can get very fucking heavy, and that's when the question of why I should keep going comes back again. But why should I keep ignoring it?I'm okay with living without direction or a given purpose. But without one, letting everything go just seems like the easier choice. When nothing feels like it matters, the only thing that starts to matter is to stop what doesn't. Okay I kind of vented here, sorry.
>>34334680>what keeps me goingI have other humans who depend on the money I earn from my job, and my mother is still alive. She's probably the last and only person who would actually be upset if i took myself out, and i can't convince myself to do that to her.
The world would be better off without me, which is exactly why I have to keep going
>>34334680I don't think I have any any more at this point, I just want to move out, get a GED, learn a foreign language, and acquire a few more things for my hobbies
>>34334680
Artistic pursuits.
Right now it's some small degree of hope that I'll be able to get back to the relatively modest life I was living elsewhere one day and feel like I'm living my life again. I don't need some grand purpose defined for me, but I want to have some sort of sense of agency and fulfillment in my life.But it's getting farther and farther away. Every single day feels like a blur just passing me by now. I feel completely hopeless most days. I don't really get any joy from friends or family. My job presents lots of opportunity going forward and it's not a bad job by any means, but if I knew for certain that it was going to be my life for the next 20-30 years, I'd just kill myself right now.I got a gym membership but lost any motivation to go when I realized that any results I got were worthless. Get my dream body? Who cares, what's that going to do for me? Pursue a relationship? More like settle and lock myself down here. My life isn't living, it's just waiting until it's over. I've lost the ability to see why life is appealing outside of momentary novelties. I've been told I should learn to be happy with what I have and make that my goal, but to me that sounds like the talk of someone who truly has given up all hope and is just coping and grasping for any reason to continue onward.
>>34334680I wanna see how bad it gets. Like eventually it'll hit a point where it stops getting bad and that'll be cool or it gets so bad that it kills me. I wanna see if it gets worse.
>>34334680>What's keeping you going?the acquisition of joy, which for me is fairly easy because i have low standards and am generally easy to please>Seriously, what's the point?everyone has a different answer but if you're like me and don't think there's a preordained purpose, consider looking into nietzsche. either way, life's what you make of it. the fact that a purpose is derived from your own will does not make it lesser than some cosmic, religious, or evolutionary purpose. find something that you care about or that makes you happy and pursue it. and if nothing does, experience as much shit as possible until you find something. even that can be meaningful in its own way.
>>34335509This is true. It has gotten quite bad, but what if it gets worse? That would be amusing.
>>34335521Right? It's comedic how bad things are. I genuinely don't see things improving right now. It's anyone's guess as to how it gets worse. My bet is aliens by the end of the year. I want to see if I'm right.
>>34335537Alien disclosure is just the right-wing version of weed legalization. They will tease it but nothing will ever happen.
>>34335551No, I mean them actually showing up. How wild would that be? Apparently they've been watching us or so the leaks suggest.
>>34335518WOOORLD.DOMINATIONOr not
>>34334680To see what happens next
>>34335518What if you found the thing that was making you happy and then you lost access to itWhat if getting the chance to get back to that happiness requires a decade plus of grinding and most of your youth and income with zero guarantees other than that if you get it, you'll have to begin another grind because you've only earned the right to show up at the starting line and you're behind everyone elseWhat if there isn't anything to try where you areFor a lot of my life, I used to wonder what was so bad about prolonged solitary confinement, it's prison but without the danger of other prisoners. I thought that I'd like to give it a shot for a year or two just to say I did it. After leaving my environment for over a year, I realized that such a thought was indicative of the type of life I was already living. My time meant nothing to me, I had absolutely nothing to live for other than to not die because it would probably hurt, it would make people you know sad, and I wanted to see how certain things ended.I'm back to the original environment and lately I've been thinking about how it would be better if I just could gradually erase whatever presence I have in the lives of others and fade out from existence.
I have dreams. I want to get strong. I want to get good at music and start an NSBM project. I wanna fuck a big tiddy black girl. I wanna go to poland. I want to be romantically loved. Etc. But as Pessoa said,"The only way to survive in this world is by keeping alive our dream, without ever fulfilling it, since the fulfillment never measures up to what we imagine"
>>34334680>no reason to keep trying.Forget the word try. Things are supposed to be effortless. Either in failure or success. Remove friction, remove obstacles and enjoy whatever path you're walking.
>>34337179You either learn to identify with living in a trailer park and think it's the greatest life in the world and never question anything or you become aware that you can eat better food than roadkill and don't need to live next to a meth lab in tornado county.
>>34335347charge ur phone.
