It was real. It meant something.
You were special to me and I've hurt you. I'm sorry.

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>>34355711
Hyper atomization/individuation has pretty much ruined my ability to fully relate to anyone on this planet.
I wish I was back home with my ancestors in the Scottish Highlands or travelling by horse across the great plains with my ancient people, but now I'm surrounded by a world that doesn't look like me, doesn't speak my language, doesn't relate to me or my heritage, and which even those of my own genetic kin are divided along a thousand axis of belief and contrary convictions.
Still I will keep pushing forward to unite the diaspora, I just hope as few of us as possible end up losing our sense of identity and purpose before we can again unify as a singular people.
>P.S.
Also I just want a Pict girlfriend to go swimming with and frolicking through the fields.

first to say mike should at least not namefag like the 300lb obese alcoholic retard, even if maria would be reading this (she wont) she would tell with several years of raped baby syndrome behavior from the tripfaggotry and explicitly same images reposted

how does he not have a thread on kiwi yet? those terminally online degenerates would have a field day, a multi board equivalent of cwc

Yira yira

I feel so much unimaginable rage right now

>>34355725
Apologize directly.

>>34355748
Only obsessive stalkers like you freak out over my posting.

I can't even tie a knot correctly how am I going to kill myself

I’ll be joining you soon, Bluenote.

>>34355808
By killing it at the gym with a hard workout?

>>34355755
I can imagine

I want to die. I hate the person I am and the life I've led. And there is no one I can talk to

I went to a speed-dating thing a month ago. Got matched with 4 girls. 3 of them rejected me when I reached out and I managed to get a date with one. I made many mistakes during the date despite being on my best behavior and will never see her again. I get an average of one date per year so I'm taking it pretty hard. Dates are the interviews of the romance world and I suck at interviews. No more dates. No more humiliation. Next one I dare to dream of speaking to better be all-in, I'm through trying to convince someone. It's hard to think positive when rejection has been my experience for over a decade. Why even get out of bed? I'm not fat or gross, BTW. Just average.

>>34355862
Discord.gg/Qjj3xmuY
I'll talk to you without judgement.

All I want is to be special to someone, to show I can be a better man and love someone like they should. Apparently this is a dumb idea and I don't deserve happiness because this simple goal is impossible. All women care about is money.

I've been dating an Asian girl a couple months now.
I havent told her Im unemployed.
She's an anti ICE protestor. I haven't told her I'm a mega chud.
We don't see each other often. Once every week and a half.
We've had sex once and she really enjoyed it.
Its going to fall apart at some point. I'm enjoying it but I don't want to hurt her.
I still miss my quiet semi autistic ex gf who I never got to quite fuck, only blowjobs and fingering.
I don't know if it's because we never actually fucked, or because we went to a special event together I'd been looking forward to a long time.
But I still miss her.
I keep thinking of texting her.
I might get drunk this weekend and do it.
I was thinking of bootycalling her to be all "alpha" about it. But in reality I just want to tell her I wish it had worked out.
I also feel like she wanted to move in together really soon and I would have had to cancel my plans to go back to school for that.
Now I am in the verge of giving up and going back to the wage cage and I wish I could get with her again.

I post here because nobody would respond to my despair with the gravitas it deserves. This also explains why I mutter to myself, because not even a therapist has the capability to walk a mile in my shoes. On the upside I am no longer bothered by the slow collapse of the environment. A world this cruel doesn't deserve to exist.

Oh and on top of that I've been thinking of posting pics of me and my new Asian gf (who is arguably more attractive than my ex) on Instagram because my ex's dad was recommended to me (idk why because we have no mutuals and my ex doesn't have insta) on the off chance she somehow sees it or searches up my name. But I don't want distant relatives to see I have a new gf and tell my parents who don't have insta, so I've been putting it off. I haven't told my parents I got a new girl yet. I don't want them knowing.

>>34355886
We all carry a flame for our first love, no matter if it ended badly or couldn't have lasted or whatever. That's the shit operas and poems are created from. Don't bother asking her, she is a woman and cannot comprehend the depth of your feelings. And your new GF can be warped with a slow diet of logic. The wage cage thing sucks but it helps kill time before you can see her again.

>>34355893
She wasn't my first love. I wasn't even in love with her. I only dated her for 2 months. We've been broken up longer than we were together. I still miss her and want to talk to her. Idk why. I'm becoming a manwhore just to cope.

I'd rather not give everything to another

>>34355921
Well there must be something about her you miss a lot to the point that sabotaging your current relationship is an option. That's rough. Sometimes there's no happy answer to these situations.

Well? I'm outta here. See ya

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I'm sick of listening to my girlfriend complain about being "the only one" preparing her newly built house for her to live in.

Yes of course you're the only one doing the with dumb ass. It's your house, not mine. It's not "our place" it's yours, so yes you do actually have to get the stuff done yourself. And don't complain "nobody helps" when you refuse help. Fuck. Tough shit.

You know, I actually never had to worry about someone I like simply not being attracted to me. It hasn't been something that has generally come up. So this silence in response to my flirty text is quite unusual, I wonder if she might just not like me. I guess we'll have to wait and see. If that's the case, it's not a big deal. It would suck having to try to find someone I can like as a person and companion and start over building a connection with them, but it's not like I can change it if that's what's going on, so might as well accept it

Still, I'd much rather she just like me and respond positively, but I guess it's out of my hands at the end of the day. Hmm.

>>34356021
I'm doing the same as her for our home.
>>34356022
I feel like this is the response from her

Guys, you gotta trust me on this.
If you put a condom in your wallet, it will bring you good luck.

I miss my brother. I'm ashamed to face any of my family. They're the only people I've truly cared about and I've hurt them in countless ways. I refuse to ever as for help, in spite of knowing they would if they can.

im not really sorry for removing you. it was for the best.

>>34356059
It was little things like my sister having fun with her friends, or being willing to listen that felt nice. I wouldn't always be good, or the best at listening, but I would try. I've always vicariously enjoyed things instead of enjoying them myself. I'll try and enjoy things more, not just for me, but to not drag others down.

No reason to say the words but to beat yourself over the head and make excuses avoiding accountability and blaming it on me. That's not the case. You are the one who messed up and you are the one whose behavior has to change Maria.

I hate being autistic. I hate being an apprentice working for a failing company. I hate being behind on my coursework and feeling guilty for wanting more support despite recieving plenty already. I hate feeling like this but not having any ideas or the motivation to get out of this rut.

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Today is my 30th birthday. I'm officially a wizard. I never came close to any sort of relationship with a woman. I wasn’t able to get over the years of sexual abuse/humiliation, and being ugly and autistic didn't help either. I know I have only myself to blame, but it sucks.

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The calendar says spring equinox and my nose is not happy about it.

>>34356225
I hate daylight savings, I miss the cold and rain, I miss permanent standard time

>>34356325
Me too fellow winter enjoyer

>>34356383
:)

>>34356219
>Today is my 30th
RIP

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I fucking hate the downstairs neighbours, dude.

so there's a leak in the plumbing?
okay, been trying to fix it for years from our side.
Few months ago that was done as best as possible only from our side. Their response?
try to break in while the construction crew was working.
They refuse to accept anyone we call, it's always some shit about "our guy, don't trust". For the past few months the crew did manage to TEMPRORARILY fix it from our side, just barely, with the caveat that it will leak again unless they do something FROM THEIR SIDE.
three months later, they did nothing but sit on their ass, now there's a leak again.
We spent two thousand euros on this, had to arrange the whole damn family to fund it, they spent NOTHING. Now they are threatening us all again, DEMANDING we "do something".
it's gonna be the same shit all over agaijn. Refusing anyone we call, any solution, demands, demands, demands...
problem won't be solved.
at this point i think they want to have a problem, they need to have a problem.

i'm fucking sick of them. I'm fucking sick of their absolute retardation.

Legally, there is fucking nothing i can do. Anything needs the consent of ALL retard neighbours, who won't do anything. Police won't even do anything about their constant threats.
The problem is literally no longer in my hands, there is nothing that can be physically done from my side. Any new work would need to be from their side, which they refuse. I can't fucking take it anymore, they should just eat shit atp if they really want to. I'm sick of this. Now they are threatening my whole family again saying bullshit about how we "did nothing"

FUCK. YOU. RETARD INSANE PIECES OF SHIT.

>>34356501
Maybe move

>>34356502
Fucking trying and there's bo luck on that front, either.

i hope my luck turns soon because this shit is tiring.

>>34356516
>>34356502
...Look man i'm very pissed because i was supposed to inherit this and here we are now. I will have nothing.
Can't sell it, who would buy this nightmare?

it's so frustrating because this problem isn't impossible, it's the stupid fucking human factor making it impossible.

>>34356532
...now they are suddenly insisting on "legal procedure"
DO THEY KNOW WHAT THIRD WORLD SHITHOLE WERE IN?

this is never getting solved.
half the city is in ruin because people are dumb enough to wait for "legal procedure"

>>34356501
Talk to the landlord, it shouldn't have anything to do with the tenant on the other side. The landlord takes care of the renters repairs, at least in the States.

Remember that you are renting and it is not your property. Let the landlord deal with the fix for the property itself.

>>34356502
Agreed. Prob time to move

>>34356543
You are not making any sense. Why is there a legal procedure for plumbing?

It's the third time this happened.
A friend suffers sudden loss, and I don't know how to handle that. I'm unable to comfort them and I don't know what to do.
Last time someone suffered like this, they stopped talking to me. It was someone I haven't seen in a while, and I've shown myself at the wrong time.
This time it's my best friend, her childhood friend lost her life in an accident. We were about to hang out today and she cancelled those plans, telling me about this. I don't want to push her to do anything. I don't want to upset her or lose her. This is too sudden

>>34356567
Just tell her your sorry for her loss. It happens.

>>34356548
legal procedure for collective repair of an apartment complex, because it is a problem for all tenants. I don't actually get it fully, a lot of the "law" is bullshit here. Shcitck is this means:
inspector, council is involved, gonna take YEARS. If it even goes anywhere.
>>34356544
yes, however.

That's the tricky part, there are multiple landlords, that's what the procedure is supposedly for. My landlord is family, i'm supposed to inherit this.
i know i'm not supposed to care, but that's easy to say when you aren't having your door slammed almost daily because of a VERY SOLVABLE problem.

>>34356586
...i'm saving money to move but there is just no damn luck, can't find anyone who'll even entertain me.
i'm not paying rent here, only bills, it's kind of a sweet deal given the current rent situation all around.
I guess it's a no choice situation, all i pray is when i do eventually find something that i don't end up in the same boat AGAIN.

>>34356586
With tenants you need to not lay about complaining. Physically get up and knock on their door once a day until the papers are signed and taken care of. Otherwise if it's such detremental to the property then evict them.

If this is another symbolic larp about a person and not about a apartment at all what I would do is completely different

>>34356592
It's pretty likely you will have a similar situation if you move into another apartment building. Apartments are the worst because of the people that surround you there (neighbors and management).

I learned my lesson and rented a 2500 ft2 duplex top half of a house until the owner who lives in the bottom half was going to raise rent, so I bought a house of my own.

>>34355931
True. And I don't know what it is when the new one treats me so much better.

Please God kill me. Not joking.

Everything gets more difficult as I age.

People have only gotten UGLIER, personality wise, as I have gotten older, more pushy and they hear more of what they want to even more.

Women have never picked me and I'm tired of trying for things I know I'll never get.

Life isn't beautiful. I was denied an education by freaks and there wasn't any reason for their shit.

Evil wins. Evil wins a lot. Not just "le people I don't like." I've known gay rapists to marry good looking women.

I deeply hate living and people refuse to let me prosper. Also fucking naggers have a habit of telling me what my life experiences are when they weren't there for them.

Please please please God kill me. I'm begging you shoot me in the face and twice in the heart.

I miss being a drunktard.

>>34356729
Drinking is le bad

>>34356734
yeah, but it was fun during a couple of hours

BAR-anon, BAR is looking real good.

Feeling really depressive
Like I will never be able to connect to another human normally ever

>>34356903
Turn that FROWN upside DOWN!

>>34355711
A social media account of mine was wrongfully banned 26 months ago and im terrified that the police will still come to my door. Even though i did nothing wrong - just the fact that i have to prove my innocence will ruin my life.

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If you need a dopamine hit, type some kids who bullied you into your county's department of corrections site. Ryan's got 13 mugshots spanning over a decade. He was considered a super popular kid in middle school, now he's a fucking homeless looking meth head lmao. I don't even care that you stole my Pokemon Gold/Silver strategy guide and tried to humiliate me on the bus when I asked for it back "I don't play Pokemon, Pokemon's gay" how much anal rape did you get in jail, Ryan?

>>34357056
This. Living well is the best revenge

What do you do after simply burning all bridges and friendships with everyone, isolating yourself, and constantly thinking about suicide? this is already a daily routine.

>>34357022
The police have much bigger fish to fry my friend

I'm about to get fired
I'm a programmer in a consulting company, I've been for a while and seems people hold me positively, the main issue is that my skillset is too narrow and they can't get me any projects because I'm not up to date with the hottest technologies out there. They're trying not to fire me outright but I'm becoming not profitable enough and they're offering me a freelance contract which obviously means less money, I don't blame them but this situation is so shit

this is all on me but honestly, I'm not passionate enough for this shit, this job demands getting into courses all the time, my coworkers talk about software, languages, tools, all the time, they're so in love with this... I'm not like that, I just work in this because it's the only profitable thing I can do and it pays the bills. It's not like I hate programming, I kinda like it, but I just like making things that work, I don't give a fuck about languages or frameworks or whatever shit, you tell me "do this", and I "do this" and get my paycheck but it's just not enough in this retarded industry, you have to be up to date with the hip stuff and learn the flavor of the month because customers ask for the flavor of the month and I'm not motivated to learn that week in week out

maybe I should have been an artist, but I don't have the talent to be an artist that actually earns money. Maybe I should try opening a patreon and selling NSFW AIslop or whatever, nearing 40 and I don't know what to do with my life.er

I've considered the rope but I can't because I had to take my deceased sister's kid under my wing and their father is just too mediocre to bring them up (yes I know, I'm one to talk). I've failed at that too, how can I guide them if I'm just as lot as them while being 17/25 years older

>>34357022
the police? Are you british?

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>get nagged
>get reminded of everything soul destroying
>want to eat myself to death
>have nothing but glucose ensembles
lol

What's a healthier alternative to eating yourself to death? A healthy way to deal with the underlying distress that makes your want to indulge yourself into a coma?

>>34357116
It just has been keeping me up for the longest time - what if the girls ive talked to lied about their age and they are just getting ready to break down my door. It terrifies me to the point of paralysis some days. Its been 24 months since it happened and ive talked to no random girl ever since without them literally sending me a pic of their birth certificate to prove their age.

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Hello I'm back from my 3 day ban, anyways,
WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT STILL HAPPENING

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>>34355711
sometimes i wish i wasnt a girl because girls are weak in body and mind

>>34357370
Concession

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>>34357381
Most human are. You have so much unrealized potential.

>>34357404
a lot of people on 4 chan dont really think so

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I want to kill myself at my work. I want to just take a knife and cut both my wrists and neck and spray blood everywhere and have everyone horrified and I want them to hurt and I want them to feel bad. I want them to question themselves and wonder if they were really in the wrong and I want them to forever question if there was something they could have done and I want them to be traumatized for the rest of their lives

>>34357409
They have unrealized potential too and don't get girls so are seething.

>>34357420
Look for a new job. Bide your time.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that despite being relatively normal and slightly above average in looks, no girl will ever pine for me. No girl will love me like I love them. No girl will daydream about me, send me messages about how much she misses me, or make time to text me despite being busy. No girl will be out at a bar, getting drinks with friends, then stop and think about how she wishes I was with her or she was with me.

I don't give anyone those feelings. I never have and never will.

29 years of being a true kissless, hand-holdless virgin, and I'm not even one of those guys who hates women. Paradoxically, I think the reason I'm like this is because I'm too respectful. I'm not a guy she will dream about because I'm safe. I'm sure one day a girl will come along and like me for how safe I am, but I'm not gonna be her first choice or the guy she looks back on and thinks about how much fun she had with them. I won't tell a girl I think she's hot or send a risky message because I feel like it's harassment.

I know that my behavior will need to change if I want the type of raw, passionate love I'm idealizing, but I don't want it to. Me being me should be enough for someone, and yet it isn't and hasn't been. Do I really want to give up being who I am for someone who likes that version of me? Because then it isn't me.

God, I'm depressed. I know I'm just shouting into the void, but give me a shot Francesca. Please.

I will never give up on you m. I know we will be together soon enough. No more of this bullshit.

I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT

>>34357511
I do because Maria and I have true love with each other

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I made a promise to you m and I'm keeping it

The good news is, I slept great. The bad news is, I slept great and now my mind is clear enough to understand the full weight of how helpless I really am.

>>34357519
You just don't know how. There is always a way.

she dumped me and she hasn't blocked me on everything
she's still following me on everything
she's still looking at my insta stories
we still have each other's location
wtf is the endgame here? we broke up on friendly terms. it's almost a month now. i have half the mind to just block her on everything. thinking about her is genuinely painful right now

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So... I ended up being ghosted. Back to the cave again. And this time I will put the seal. I give up.

My ex gf left me for a quant analyst giga chad making 700k a year - while i thought she would be happy with what i make. I dont understand - i went into engineering and its just not quite possible to make that much money in my position. I've done eons more work than that guy - wanted it more and fought way harder.

Yet she still chose him ? Why does this happen? Should i just throw in the towel

Better come back down to Mars
Girl, quit chasing cars...
Etc.

>>34357534
whatever
i've blocked her on everything. i genuinely don't care about her anymore. it's clear she's had months to process the relationship while she fucking surprised me with it and left me with the pieces. fuck off

>>34357521
This. There's always a way when things are meant to be. I know everything is working out in my favor for my girl and I being together again.

>>34357534
She is treading water while the current takes her where she needs to be.

>>34357536
If you giving up is what's meant to happen, then okay. You should embrace that then.

>>34357538
I make a ton of money, you are focused on that because of your low self-esteem and low self-worth.

>>34357551
It is unfortunate that that happened to you. What is meant to happen will happen

>>34357553
I dont really care the money i made - i just worked extremely hard to give her the best life possible. And yet she latches on to this dude because of his status - something i seem to have been totally unable of.

>>34357558
I have very high status, my own business, make a lot of money, give speeches.

Sounds like you have not built your life enough to be worth enough

I'm in the position where I know I'd give her the best life possible. True love because that's what we have. The love that no one else could ever give her

>>34357521
Maybe one day, anon.

I know. Soon enough for me that it is around the corner where she is in my bed sleeping on my chest

ex said he wants to get back together, that I'm the only person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and that he clicks with me more than anyone else. then suddenly he starts saying he doesn't know if he wants to. I've just been crying nonstop. I think of him every waking moment, dream of him every night. he looked at me with love in his eyes when I saw him the other day, like how he used to look at me. it hurts. why would he say those things and look at me like that if he doesn't mean it... I’ll never stop loving him.

Nice bait but it's very apparent breaking it down since birth sentence where you got the words from and the attempt to twist the narrative in that way and what you are looking to get out of it.

Pathetic

>>34357538
Love from Kazakhstan

>>34357255
Gotta bite the bullet and stand on a scale every day. Drink a variety of tea instead. The hot water is comforting. If you piss 3 times a day and go to bed hungry you're on the right track. Lost 20 pounds this way.

>>34357458
Billions of men experience this. But the key is to have interesting hobbies/activities and be happy with your own life. Then you can accept the idea of being pine-able. Sounds like cope but women's opinions matter very little.

>>34357519
We control little in life aside from how we react to things.

>>34356681
Your death will happen. Enjoy being alive to witness the misery and death of others. I enjoy police livecam footage for this reason. It would be underwhelming (but relieving) if I died now without seeing how bad the rest will fare.

>>34357651
You're being dumped and still not over him. Give it time and stop letting him irritate the wound. You will think clearly someday.

I can't wait to see you again, a lot of shit has happened while you were away. I was worried you were going to get sicker, especially going to that shit hole for a week. I've been worried sick about you, but I pretend to be fine about it. I wasn't. It sucked without you. Honestly you're one of the best parts of my day, seeing your beautiful face around. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we dated.

I'm choosing home and I'm choosing you, I still feel the same as when we last saw each other. I know it's been years, let's put mistakes aside and choose each other

She fucking deleted me. That's hilarious.

>>34357720
Dang what a bitch

>>34357725
Over a joke, it's cool though.

>>34357056
A kid who bullied me died of cancer a few years after I had left school

it's just as well, he was a little manlet who talked smack and most likely would've ended up on goverment paychecks.

>>34357755
Karma works out pretty well. There was a guy I knew who is taller and talked smack and he got in a motor vehicle accident and was left horribly mangled.

I think it's best if I give up on finding a soulmate and stick to casual intimacy, like having my boobs groped once or twice and not going all the way because no one would go all the way with me.

It's not like I gave up so easily. I fell in love and wanted to marry many men in my life, but they hated me deeply and wanted me out of their life and went no contact with me. I definitely tried but they didn't like me enough to give me one chance. Not a victim complex, just the truth. If one man doesn't want me what makes me think others will.

Tldr - giving up on finding a soulmate because the opposite sex doesn't want me and they don't even like me enough to give me one chance

>>34357779
Never give up on true love. That's my perspective.

Soulmate love will always find each other again.

Just how that works

You will be with your person when the time is right.

In the meantime smile and do your best to have some fun everyday

>>34357767
what's even sadder is he tried to pick a fight with me one time with me being twice his height even at the time so I dared him to hit me and but he didn't ran off like a bitch since I could of decked his ass even though I'm a skinny fuck, good times.

another story of a different kid who was a complete dick to basically everyone (he dated one of the only decent girls who wasn't a bitch there, no idea what she saw in him, they did break up from what I remember.) even his own younger brother whom I was friends with for a time, I went to his house for a birthday party and holy fuck it was the whitest trash you could imagine, garbage left out everywhere, parents fighting over some shit, walls with holes punched in it was really bad, I didn't stay friends with that kid since he became increasingly obnoxious, the older brother who was the dick years later was unironically posting really fucking cringey furry zebra ass with his real name on facebook of all places, that whole family had issues.

I do have a couple of other interesting stories from school but they aren't super long.

>>34357812
And you can keep them to yourself. I'm not impressed with you in the slightest.

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>>34357816
I wasn't trying to impress anyone I just thought people would be interested, but you do you I guess.

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Why does the fact that my sister had sex with me when i was 12 bother me so bad? I'm a boy, shouldn't I like that? I don't get why it bothers me now. People say i'm traumatized by it but it doesn't make any sense. I don't know why this fucks with my head so much even so many years later.

>>34357831
She really did? Wtf

>>34357831
That's called trauma.

>>34357837
How can that be though? Keep in mind she didn't force me. If she drugged me or tied me down and then did it, yeah, totally would make sense. But I agreed to it so I don't get it. Why does it still bother me so, so much? That should be like the wildest fantasy come to life yet I can't think about it without it hurting.

Is something wrong with me? Like... I feel like others in my position would've been fine. I don't get why this hurts when i'm a guy.

>>34357845
You're trying to balance the reality of it with the stigma society built, the reality of it is that it's fucked up.

>>34357855
this, but people only think that men can be abusers/rapists, see johnny depp for example.

My anger is consuming me again, I don't want to feel this way but I'm hurt, it wasn't my fault this time, I don't want things to go wrong but others don't seem to care as much as me, why is so hard to make them care? is the bare minimum too much to ask?
It hurts

I am the one taking care of her not you. You are getting to keep a large amount of the money she is allotted for her care, and you provide literally no care to her. Your only function is to facilitate my paychecks. What are you going to do? Fire me from caring for my own mother? Don't act like my boss. I work 8 hours straight, no lunch breaks, constantly working on tasks for her, I don't have time to do every pointless little thing you want me to. Adjust the fucking timesheet if I forget to clock out on the dumbass app you make me use, bitch.

>>34357056
kek
I don't remember the names of anyone who bullied me, but I did once see one of them working at walmart while I was visiting my hometown.

>tfw considering quitting and getting a new job in the next town over after sperging at work too often but too lazy to deal with job hunting again

>>34358077
Now is not the best time to be looking for another job. Doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, though.

>>34357685
That's not me being me, though.

I'm enough. What I do, what I like, and who I am should be enough. I am not going to take up a hobby that is interesting to women because then I would not be doing it out of genuine interest.

I cannot accept the idea of being pine-able because I am inherently not. I am not the biggest, strongest, loudest, most out-going guy in the room. I'm not sexy, I'm not a flirt, I'm not going out on the floor and grinding with her with a drink in my hand.

Nobody pines after guys like me.

>>34358088
>That's not me being me
Whatever you do is who you are.

Fight the future!

you fuckers are my people. every single one of you. i've been searching for community for years and it's been here all long.

someone once told me as a kid not to go on 4chan. fuck them, i'm glad i did. i'm glad i've done everything that I have to be honest. I did the best with what I could, being a dumb piece of shit that I am.

good vibes and godspeed boys, have a blessed day.

>>34358232
<3

>>34358232
No problem. Glad you are happy. There are too too many unhappy people on this website.

>>34356609
i am not the landowner, you illiterate prude.

>>34356615
yeah i know thats the scary part.

>>34358232
It is what you make of it but some kids would not know what make of it. I knew this place but wasn’t a fag so never came here until I was brain damaged and could not do shit. Got this tablet and started hanging with you all. Probably saved my life.

ive realize that i dont actually like having friends all that much but more or so the concept of them, every time i make one i find myself eventually feeling annoyed whenever they want to talk to me when i dont feel in the mood and i also want to just info dump on them about my interests.
not sure if im retarded or just selfish

>>34355711

I’m afraid I’ve triggered my upstairs neighbor to permanently stomp and hate on me. Really weird how inconsiderate folks become absolute nighmares when you show them how rude they are being.

This person spent the last 3 weeks stomping LOUDLY during quiet hours, so I had enough, and let them know they were being loud.

Now some heavy loud thumping sounds happen and I’m still not getting sleep. All I can do is document and email mgmt but they claim the guy is new and cant do squat.

Wish I could get help to move out or get the person to stop permanently. I fucking hate my current life and how slow I adapt to the city. Feels so unfucking fair and unreasonable.

Ops dad is gay and I had sex with its mom

I’m so paranoid that, out of habit, I checked my gf’s last online status on telegram even though she’s in the shower after I just woke her up (we were cuddling while sleeping) and she hasn’t touched her phone, which is still plugged in in the bedroom with me

I am the victim
I am owed

But I will never let it happen to me again

I will not let myself be a victim anymore
I will not let people take from me when they promise to repay me

I will take control of my life and anyone who tries to take the riens from me, I will take them back, and take their riens as my trophy.

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>>34355711
I'm falling in love with my sugarbaby. And I think she is to. The sex is incredible, we are so in tune. But I also have a wife. I can love more than one woman at a time. I want it all.

>>34358815
Living the dream. Hypocrisy is humanity's greatest virtue. Remember not to get caught.

>>34358815
>I can love more than one woman at a time
tell your wife, see if she agrees.

i get everything i want cause i attract it

i manifest.. . ݁+⊹. ݁˖ .

How do I stop losing all of my inner peace from literally CEASELESS yapping and vain chatter the very moment I wake up? I feel like I need 2 hours of complete and total silence upon waking and it's too much to ask for apparently.

My day is already ruined. There's probably no saving it or making it valuable.

I can't wait for the AI bubble to burst

>>34359020
Why

>>34357398
I submitted a feedback, hope they unblock it tomorrow, and if it doesn't work I'll make a throw away Gmail.

The winner takes it all
The loser takes the fall

Why do you play with my emotions?

mebii

How come the people who tell you to touch grass are often the most terminally online niggaz, sometimes even more than the person they are accusing?

I've vented about this multiple times but I hate the old cunt at work who has been rude to me since day 1
I didn't do anything to her, we don't work together and my job is not even related to her. I'm convinced she just hates me for no good reason, but I can't stop her either.
I talked to a colleague once and she did get told, but nothing really happened. Now she's just rude to me when no one is around.
I can't get rid of her, can't sabotage her in any way that is legal or can't trace back to me. I can only beg she'd die soon. Preferably as painfully as possible.

>>34359270
Whoa you're a cunt. Maybe you're the cunt.

My pheromones are going crazy and every woman that looks at me can tell
But I can’t have sex with any of them because I have to go through a million humiliation rituals to even get the chance to ask them
I’m literally so close to just hiring an escort

>>34359270
post her number online cant be traced back to you

>>34359321
I would not have wanted her death if she weren't hateful and rude to me for no reason in the first place.
I honestly don't understand why people would make someone else's life more miserable when that person did nothing to them and they simply don't like that person.
She could've left me alone if she doesn't like me, but she had to go out of her way to single me out in every social interaction and insult me when no one is around.
Especially when my job there is to take care of the operational stuff, which she complained about doing, so she can focus on her job.

>>34359364
Does she really insult you? Why haven't you told hr?

Why recently my brain start to develop a guilty feeling in my brain like i did something wrong and i cant rembember doing it and my brain start to fake fake scenarios or memories about it and then the feeling of that everything is going to explote in any moment and i going to lost everything and everyone?

Why is my brain making me this and how do i fix it?

>>34359385
Yes
I haven't told HR yet because it's a small company and I've told people before, which led to nothing.
It's clear to me that the problem would not be truly gone even when I escalate things.

>>34359404
Just write down things she says or buy a little recorder to record anything messed up she says, youll have proof.

>>34358778
My Maria is coming home to me again

>>34358369
same. i think you just got to live the life that works for you, not what you feel like you should be.

I need ways to forget someone, i need to forget my first true love. It's been 10 years and I still think about her, I just want to forget. Any tips?

>mad because clothes don't fit anymore
>won't diet or exercise to lose weight
ok so shut the fuck up then

>>34359515
seek out new experiences

>>34359521
I was not clear, apologizes. Let me be more specific.
I realized some time ago that my "taste" in porn and my hentai tags, are actually influenced by the image and personality of my first true love, a girl who i was friend on the last year on high school. That was a "oh shit moment". She never trully left my mind but since that realization and now she keeps appearing in my dreams and daydreams.

She was unique...a recluse, extremely individualistic, a weird sense of humor, very serious, very confident, very intelligent. She was kinda small, maybe 1.6 meters (5.2 feet) tall, curly hair, maybe a bit overweight(just a bit), bottom heavy( was nice).

I know what the problem is, i was a coward and never told her my true feelings, that happen other times but she is the only one that still on my mind almost 10 years later. I want to forget her, i want to kill the pass. I don't like the fact that someone i interacted with so long ago still has so much influence over me.

Again, Any tips?

>>34359596
seek out new experiences

Not sure if fren got kicked back to motherland

i just read the translation of the lyrics to dtmf by bad bunny and they made me cry :(

>>34359736
Why

There's only one future and it's where we are together again. There will never be a different future in this life other than ours. I love you and I will never choose another.

>>34359743
it's about regretting not taking enough pictures with people when they were still in your life. it made me miss my friends and life in general like 10 years ago. the song is a bit melancholy so i wanted to know what it was about but it really hit me like a truck

There's a difference between schizophrenia and someone maliciously larping to influence emotions and emotionally blackmail someone

people hate me for something i did under pressure and on impulse, and now i can never take it back.
to those people im sorry with all my heart even though you're always going to see me as a monster rightfully
i spend every day wanting to apologize but knowing it will all be meaningless, there's no cure for what i've done.
i pray to myself every night that next day will be the end of the suffering i've inflicted on myself but i know that's just wishful thinking.

My only prayer is for our home together. Holding her as I fall asleep with her. Caring for her. Loving her. Providing for her. Having fun with her

I wish I was enough for you, but I know now that’s not possible. I was willing to put aside you talking to other women when we first started seeing each other but to know you’re still doing it two years on??? And commenting that your day is made better by these women posting themselves naked when you couldn’t string together anything like that for me when I sent you pictures? Is it because I don’t look like them? Is it a kink? I just don’t understand. I gave you all the praise in my body to help quell your body issues, showered you in sweet words because I knew you craved it. What else am I supposed to do to make you look at me like that? I’m so tired, Alex. I love you so much and it’s actively killing me.

>>34359757
Same but mostly with my family and dog, people from my past.

I barely know him and I like him so much. Crushes are so stupid, I'm having elaborate fantasies based on 15 minutes total of interactions.

>>34359760
Sounds like something a schizo would say

The older I get, the closer I get to Christ. When I was younger I left my faith because a friend of mine (don't see them anymore) was better at school than me so I thought he was smarter. He was your typical reddit atheist and I listened to his views.

That was a mistake on my part and last year I seen St. Michael in the sky holding his hand out to me. I thought it was Jesus at first but Jesus doesn't wear a chest plate with bluish purple robes. St. Michael took all my stress at that moment and put a smile on my face with eyes full of tears.

He showed me that even me, a fuck up, is still loved and being protected. I was crying tears of joy and love because I seen first hand there is indeed a God and everyone saying otherwise has been corrupted by demonic forces.

God exist and God uses the holy spirit to talk with us. Even though I left Jesus a little over a decade, he never left me. Go with God Anons.

>>34360197
Unfortunately it is just a malicious action from someone else targeting me and her. I do not have schizophrenia, but I do have to deal with attempted LARPs too manipulate with emotional blackmail.

Really trash behavior, and he is not long for this world

>>34360217
You'll meet another sensible smart atheist who will show you the light soon enough

I think it's high time I killed myself.... Just kidding, but I think I suffer from some degree of dissociation/derealization or something. I have that sensation of "I want to kill myself" basically every day. I'd never kill myself on principle, it's not even remotely considerable, however I don't really know how to describe this sensation. I went for a night walk trying to find a place of self knowledge, to try to taste of what would be the opposite of "derealization", and for the breifest moment I almost felt it, but it was fleeting. It's as if a part of me has gone on standby from the complete and utter lack of change in my life ever since I was like 15 (I'm 20 now, coming on 21...). There is change that can be made in my life but I'm not sure how to do it. I have some ideas and great uncertainty about any of it. I don't really feel alive.

>>34360313
I've wondered more than once if I should do something radical like just pack some shit and run away, seeing where it takes me.

Roid tranny or true tranny....

Fell in love with a girl but it was really more of an unhealthy dependence or obsession resulting from her being hot and cold, coming onto me then ghosting, playing coy about my advancements, etc. I broke down and cried because I couldn’t deal with being played with, prompting her to spread rumours to all my friends, even people she didn’t know, that I was crazy or creepy and they all just ghosted me. I know she was manipulative but I feel crazy that no one believes me and I feel like I’ll never trust another person again.

Can't tell if it's over but it seems PRETTY fucking over.

why did you have to be cold towards me and push me away? now im gone, and im missing you.

>>34360417
Probably not

I am thankful that we have each other in this life and that we are brought together again.

I'm a paradox of mental retardation.

Why do I randomly feel sad and want to see her?

I think I just learned how to play part of Lean on Me by accident

Recommend me some things to make me want to kms. I want to really battle the question. It will do something to at least occupy my time that's spent doing the opposite of living, and I don't have much of a choice in that matter.

>>34360501
Play Beyond All Reason

>>34360506
Looks neat. Never really got into RTS.

The difference is I know which way the water flows.

Our shore.

>>34360517
Learn hotkeys. Maybe try piano. Make sure to use proper ergonomics and rest. Check out Wintergaming BAR episodes maybe. Godspeed. Find fun in this world.

>>34360519
Maybe I'll check it out. I've never even put thought into RTS but now that I think about it, they seem really fun, and like they have a chess element almost. Thanks.

>be living with boomer parents because I was unemployed
>got a job finally and it's keeping me quite busy so I want to get relaxation in when I can
>I've had obligations when I was a NEET instead of rent, basically I did a bunch of chores for them, one of them is mowing their lawn which takes over an hour and a half to do
>realize that I can pay someone to do it for me
>bring this up to them
>you can't do that because "that's not what being an adult is"
>bring up that they pay to have someone clean the house once a month
>"that's not the same"

Dude what is it with boomers and wanting their children to be miserable? Who fucking cares if someone else is doing it for me when I'm paying for it? What is it about me specifically spending an hour and a half in the hot as fuck sun that makes this more valuable than someone I'd pay to do literally the same fucking thing? Why do boomers think like this? If I had a kid and he told me he'd pay someone to mow my yard, I'd be like "fuck yeah, go for it." not "but that's against the completely made up nonsense rules of society or whatever"

>>34360526
whyd you ask them about it in the first place? why not just pay someone to do it anyways?

>>34360522
It's like chessXinstrument
No pressure
Explore

>>34360528
I didn't want to rock the boat and just felt it was the polite thing to do. I need to have someone look at the whole yard and get measurements to give me an estimate anyway so trying to covertly do that is just going to be more trouble than it's worth. I just don't get this weird boomerism of "you have to do hard work because you just have to ok?"

All I've ever wanted is to be someone else.
Someone without my fucked up head, without my fucked up past, without all this stubborn baggage.

Because I have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it. I can avoid it, live around it. But it's never felt like living, just surviving. And the older I get, the more it seems like dying wouldn't be much worse.

I've never been more scared or more alone. It's comforting, though. Maybe I can go out quietly, maybe I can manage to keep all this hurt to myself.
Be the change you want to see, you know?

I'm so tired. It's just one fight after another. I can't even tell if that's how it's supposed to go.
Am I weak? Is this what life is supposed to be? I hope not. I hope I'm some far-flung outlier.
But, the more I look, the more I see people becoming like me.

And it's an equal mix of depressing and enraging. That this world would allow such a trend. That my positively toxic perspective could find a foothold beyond my pathology.

Don't be bitter. If you can find a way to be otherwise, take full opportunity. I beg you.
And if you don't have the privilege, I'll be here. We will face the abyss as brothers.

I'm blackpilled in perhaps every single way there is to be blackpilled, so I don't know what life is for other than to become a sludge bettery.... I'm too raped by this world.

Forgive my doomposting......

Sorry if this is the wrong board, I just need to vent. I used to have a robust faith but in the last 12 months it feels like it’s become a frayed wire with little holding it together except going to church on Sundays.
> be me, one year out of college
> helped out with college church group for three years
> met regularly with others to talk about faith (bible studies, pursuit of virtue, serving the wider community)
> around 13 months ago, was dating a great girl who was super religious
> one month in, tell her about my porn addiction (got exposed around 7/8, have been trying to quit since high school)
> she takes it bad, I start to worry and second guess everything
> it ends, I kinda blame myself and inability to actually get free from porn
> around the same time, start to feel feeling hollow, when I go to church/pray/talk about the faith it just all feels like going through the motions
> starting to panic, about to graduate and have to figure out how I’m gonna actually live my faith without the community i’ve built in college, was really counting on that relationship to work out
> throughout the summer, make horrible choices and hookup twice with a girl I hardly knew for no good reason
> the rest of 2025 just try to keep things together by going to church when I can but it doesnt get any better really
> new year, new me. Start leading a bible study again, recommit to quitting porn and stop drinking
> made it nearly to 50 days of freedom, then fell.
> still trying to pick up the pieces, but every time I get a good streak going, thoughts of my ex and other women I’ve dated flood my mind and I feel like I’m trapped between reaching out to them in a pathetic attempt to get my dick wet or just masturbating and still failing to live virtuously
> i just feel like I’ve allowed myself to become a slave to my emotions and vice
> literally have almost nothing left spiritually, feel like I can’t do anything to restore my relationship with Christ.

>>34360609
I’ll be 23 next week. I just want to grow up and be a free man.

She messaged me she had an issue with porn, I messaged back let's call and talk (to tell her that she comes first in every way and that I had no idea she had an issue with it but now that I know that she did it's gone).

That's the entire story.

Nothing hollow or any shit like that.

>>34355711
I would do awful things to Chappel Roan, as much as she'd likely do even worse things to me with how clearly BPD she is.
FAWKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I NEED A SOUTHERN GIRL TO FUCK MY LIFE UP SOME MORE AGAIN FUCKKKKKKKKK

Add Alyssia Liu to the list, on that as well, I need someone who is that high energy that will literally ruin my life for a bit.
FAWK I feel like such a degenerate wanting to ride with these kind of girls that are absolutely hot and mental.

>>34355711
FUCK. WHISKEY. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKK

Sorry for my ill speaking in these threads.

Either shut them up or i will.(my way is peemanant)

>>34359270
People who say "i didnt do anything" are 100% lying.

>>34359783
You had your chance to apologize. Remember?

Just kys

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i no longer desire just sex with a girl
i just want a girlfriend to keep me company and to spend quality time with
i kind of get that with family members every once in a while but it just doesn't hit the same when it's someone you know but also barely know at the same time

god i miss having actual irl friends

>>34360688
>peemanant
oh, do tell

i wish things went differently. it sucks to think that it ended with me thinking im not enough for you. i really did like you so much. im incredibly hurt.

>>34360741
me2 with her
we will both find our true special someone eventually

Sis I’ve got a post I want to make but I need a little more time. I need to make sure it’s what I want to say.

I feel like a loser every time I choose you while other women are living happy and single lives. It hurts every time I ask for help and you say “No, I don’t feel like it”while sitting on the couch on your phone. I don’t feel like cooking, cleaning or picking up after you or our child but I still do it because I love you and our family. When you disregard me, a part of me dies. I really don’t know how much I can take until there’s nothing left. I barely have any energy left at the end of the day to enjoy the hobbies I used to have. Some days you make me regret choosing you.

Golly Marty, the way you consistently rat on other people makes it seem like you don't get minors drunk on a weekly basis.
Now thats McFly! Amirite?

>>34356062
You're sorry for the rest of your miserable life though. Have fun with your broken marriage and kid who doesn't give a shit about you. That's why your best friends are early-20s club kids.

>>34356062
"For the best" as if all of the wrong shit you do on a weekly basis is for the best.
If you didn't have your pepper ball gun, you would have no balls at all

I never imagine that life is so hard.
And I'm not even asking for luxury life.
Just a house of my own, a pet, and a stable job that can earn me enough to retire.
Who would have known that that's actually super hard to get.

>>34360986
This

>>34360830
Does she always cook?

I am so autistic that I learned exactly what flips the switch in a girls brain to make them get wet and I can see exactly when they realize they are attracted to me, it feels like I’m cheating at the game

>>34361158
You won but at what cost?

>>34361168
>you won
Hahaha no I didn’t, still chronically single, still no play

>>34361186
I believe in you anon

>>34361168
Also I’ve made a ton of girls uncomfortable by saying they look pretty so they gossip and now everyone thinks I’m a fkn sex pest which is even more traumatizing than not getting any

I cheated on my husband and it was wonderful.

>>34355728
No you don't. You would have nothing to eat but gruel, have a blacksmith pull out your rotten teeth, and die of dysentery.

>>34361207
But my trauma and lack of success doesn’t matter, because all men are by default pigs and all women are pure

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>>34361224
>>34361207
Anon…

I cant handle having more then one deep connection with another person. I find it extremely uncomforable having anyone else in ,my life but the one person I choose, I hate how I dont know how to handle this and how everyone sees me as important to extreme levels where I just want my 2 person isolation yet also feel trapped into being apart of other lives due to the proclaimed importance I have in it. Its like I dont think I should ever of reached out to people or let myself be reached out to but I wasnt aware of this enough back then and now I feel like I owe people a place in my life even if its distant but I wont ever tell anyone this

Fuck this website and fuck the shitty admins, I wish Sharty would hack this place and dox Jannies again.

>>34355711
Nobody gives a shit that I got molested when I was a young child, because a girl did it to me. I'm so weird I will die alone. I'm going to make sure my failure of a parent sees what they did by leaving me in that situation. Men my age should be paired off. All I've ever been is a fuck that gets pumped and dumped.

I will make it gruesome. They will really understand what they did.

Society is for normie men and their girlfriends. Not me.

Zach, Dungeon Chill made a video on your avatarfag!

Once you lose the trust of a man.
Its impossible hell ever trust you 100%.
Even if he says he trusts you, itll be in his brain forever

>>34361413
Who cares

Turns out I'm a jealous psycho just like my schizo ex. Well, it was nice trying to find love, guess I'll give up now.

>>34361413
What did you do

>>34361457
On second thought, maybe I'm just gaslighting myself. Maybe life really is just this fucking gay.

>>34360693
somehow being told to kms makes me want to die a little less, thanks anon
i can rest comfortably knowing i did apologize when i had the chance, but maybe it's my fault for not saying that in the post

I'm such a fuck up, I feel like I'm the dumbest fucking person on earth. I'm 31 and I feel like life just went past me and I learned nothing through any of it. People around me talking about getting mortgages on houses and what thats like and I'm just there listening to it like its a foreign language and it seems so obvious to them. Then they talk about cars and how that looks like and again, I get none of it, only some buzzwords I heard in the past like "insurance" but idk what that means, where to get it or what its for. I just feel like I'll forever be sitting in my room entertaining myself on my pc in my free time, then go to work, sleep and hopefully nothing will ever come up that requires me to "know" how to handle it, but I know life won't be like that forever and it scares me. Its like everyone seems to have that common sense about everything in life, or at least basic understanding of it and I'm left in the dark and even studying up on it makes me feel like an idiot because I don't even get what I'm looking at. Why the fuck am I like this... its every fucking thing, not a single day goes by where I feel "normal" or like I know what I should know, and everyone else around me already knows it all. I just want out of life, I don't want to do it and I don't think I can learn.

I'm losing my dad to the bottle. Whatever happened with the last couple of women has made him turn to alcohol. He's just a bitter asshole that spews vitriol when he's drunk and I don't like it.

Digits and I just kill myself.

>>34361572
Alright I walk another day.

There is something wrong with my body/brain after smoking weed for so long. I quit years ago and I haven't been right since. I'm in this constant state of anxiety like I can't even sit in the same room with another person no matter how close I am to the, I just can't handle it. Fuck therapy and antidepressants, that shit doesn't work and just makes feel dead inside. Therapy teaches you coping mechanisms like thinking about something else when you're anxious but its like all that shit was written by people who were never anxious once in their life, it doesn't make sense, doesn't work. Its not like I can just stop feeling anxious in the moment, its a plane thats 2 seconds from crashing and therapy is telling you to avoid hitting everything and you'll be fine as long as you do it within those 2 seconds. Antidepressants don't work either, still feel like shit, just don't feel any of the good. Doctor's won't up my dose because they say "at this point increasing the dose won't do anything and we recommend therapy". So can't even do that. The thing is, it won't bother me so much if it wasn't for the fact its getting worse. Now I'm having these panic attacks, hives all over my body from anxiety episodes and its gotten to the point where I quit my job because of it and I'm not even leaving the house anymore. I want to fucking die already. I'm sick of going to the doctors because I've been going for years and nothing is helping and I keep having new symptoms so I go to treat those, then that doesn't work, then something new happens and then I get these procedures done at the hospital and the results always show nothing, then I feel like an idiot going back to the doctor because I feel no better but they keep finding nothing. Its just frustrating I can't get help for this shit anywhere and its gotten to the point where I'm stuck at home, can't work, can't leave the house, can't be around other people, can't get help, what am I suppose to do other than just kill myself?

>>34361569
Pray for him. Where words and arguments fail, prayer is worth trying.

>>34361588
Holidays are uncomfortable when I show up and he's drunk. He was drunk on Thanksgiving and it didn't help that my sister enabled it by bringing him more beer.

>>34361607
Well, I don't know your exact situation, but I would have maybe spoke up if my sister was fueling something like that. Not in a judgemental way, but a way to call people to reflection, perhaps just by asking a question.

Basically the only reason I live anymore is because of the possibility I can't write off, that I don't have to kill myself. I have a lot of reasons to be lead to believe it's over though. I'm probably an abomination of a human.

>>34360420
I’ll bite. I didn’t like you anymore.

>>34361617
It was Thanksgiving and I didn't want to start anything. I just got out of a fake relationship with a heavy alcoholic only now to find out my dad's one too. I don't like the stuff.

Being ghosted it's awful. I prefer a shoot to the head.

Rhetorical question here but just what is your problem?

>>34361633
If you're going to bite bait you may as well use the name when addressing the person

>>34361633
ouch

>>34361672
It’s men in my local area, hun.

>>34361678
I miss my ex-girlfiend.
Certain types of fractures in the soul can't be stitched back together with rational thought.
They require something more primitive and prelogical, which is something I don't have access to, nor can adequately comprehend.

>>34361725
Oh, sorry about your break up. You must be in a lot of heart ache and grief. That really sucks, anon.

>>34361815
The link to your post was accidental, my bad.
I have to break the habit of clicking on a post in order to open the reply window.
Still, thanks.

I hate that I have to deal with such a garbage person here and it's going to be heaven to just have you in my arms and not to have to even think about this place ever again

I wish that when I fell off that boat as a kid nobody saw me and nobody was around to save me

It's incredible what I have to put up with for you Maria. I do it because I love you and I'll never give up on you. I am tired of this place and the bullshit in it, the horrible people I have to deal with that have caused harm to us.

It'll be nice to go to sleep with you in my arms and not have to think about this any longer. Too much my energy goes to this place just because it is The way we are able to find each other at this time

>>34361988
Don't leave us Mike

Im going to kill myself tonight.
Sorry dad.
Sorry mom
Sorry brother
Sorry niece.
To everyone else
EAT SHIT N DIE SLOW

>>34362118
Bro, have you ever considered that maybe there is a girl out there who is probably alone and if you open things up between you and her you'd find a girlfriend?

>>34362127
>implying a gf should be his therapist
>>34362118
Go and do some psychedelics, find a new perspective first, may help, may not.

The AI "bubble" is cope. AI is here to stay, whether we like it or not.

It genuinely feels like there are simply no more single girls my age around me anymore. Every time I find a cute girl, I eventually find out she's taken. Like, I get it, if I find a girl cute it's very likely that someone else also thinks the same, but holy shit, how is it that every single one of them is taken?
Maybe I'm experiencing some weird form of survivorship bias with this, but every day I drift closer towards hopelessness.

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My cousin once had me go down on her when we were both young before we were in first grade. I try not to see myself as a victim but I really do think that experience is a major factor in why I am hypersexual

I told my parents and very close friends about it and it helps, but it doesn't do anything to help me curb my sexuality. What's scarier is that I haven't spoken to her about it. I try to keep myself distant from her and will avoid putting myself in situations with her where I am alone with her or I am sitting next to her.

She hasn't said anything to me about it and neither has anyone in the family but I am scared that she might one day tell it to others, and they'll see me as a monster even though she was the one who initiated the whole thing. I doubt society would even give me the chance to tell my side of the story

>>34362222
>I doubt society would even give me the chance to tell my side of the story
Depends where you live, but yes in the west it's generally hard for a guy who was touched to say much about it.
>curb my sexuality
Curious to know what would be a remedy.

>>34362112
Kind words are nice
I will at some point though when Im back with her.
This is just the in between

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>>34362118
Don't kys Anon.

>>34362118
Never put yourself in a position where some crackhead doing the fenty fold at the trainstop ends up having more will to live than you. It's not that bad.

I have suipsychosis.

Coming up on seven years of regret.

It seems that, if you have any care for anything good in this world, you are destined for punishment. You are destined to have anything you loved pulled up and raped in front of you.

Everywhere I could even find something to do with my life in, in this world, is contingent upon perversion anyways. At least, I can't shake the feeling that it is, and many things reify this notion. Everything bad prevails, but not just that, it's given a wide opening and a warm welcome. I'm too weak to even cry out to God for help. I'm that pathetic.

I want to be around decent people, not fucking perfect heroes all the time.

Either that or be peacefully by myself.

>>34361561
I'm the same age and still feel mostly like this. When big life problems happen, I know I will be completely unprepared to deal with them. For now my parents help me a lot. Some things you learn by doing them, like if you are interested in buying a car soon, start researching what is involved in the process.

That said, I am probably slow at learning all this because I hate doing it too. I can't help but think that it shouldn't be my problem.

>>34362616
another drop in the bucket

>>34361578
Nice

>>34362719
Euphemism for taking a shit

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It's been nice being alone with myself and her the last few days. I feel like I got it out of my system in time for tomorrow, still another week alone but more to do. I just won't have room for online timewasting anymore and there will be long periods of no internet in the near future anyway. Had that stuff saved for awhile and read it a few days ago, brought a big smile to my face, felt good to post. Honestly, the hate/make up sex at this point would probably be completely insane but eh. Offtopic note, I don't want to be poly but I don't think I'll ever be able to be real mono again and that's ok. Swinging is fun af.
If you know, you know, I'll never accept a nondirect apology because it means you haven't changed enough for it to be worth anymore than the passing schizo arguments back and forth here. Honestly, if you made use of your time away and came back to my place and gave me the best head of my life while the cute and short twink with a fat hog cracks from behind, I'll consider it a sincere apology. You just wanted to be a slut for different cocks after all right? If not that's cool too, someone else has and will continue to fill that role. Bye.

I think I might be falling out of love with my gf of 10 years. There is another girl I might have caught feelings for (though I haven’t acted on them). We built a life together, including buying a house. How she keeps asking about a marriage/when I will propose and I just freeze up. Fml

>>34359388
Nanobots

>>34355711
Ever since I became disabled, I just want to fight. I've never been in a fight before, even at school, now im in a wheelchair it feels like I missed out. I've been bullied and mistreated nearly my whole life and never stood up for myself. All I want to do is fight. I used to do martial arts, but all i ever got to do was spar. I've started adaptive boxing, haven't had a match yet and im kind of worried I won't get to. Im 38 and it feels like a rite of passage I never took.

>>34363284
illness or accident?
maybe recovery is in your future

>>34363375
Had a prolapsed disc that turned to bone and cause severe nerve damage. They did a discectomy surgery but that made it worse. Also the disc re-prolapsed for a 3rd time, surgeon gave me options, but basically said they won't work.

If there is someone in there im going to kill...

>>34363284
I don't know if this will help but fights fucking suck. You basically just lose all of the time. Plus when you get older you can really get hurt. Fighting as a kid is not the same as fighting as an adult.

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I am disturbed by how everything decays with age and how social bonds break apart due to neglect and death. Houses that used to have happy families and children are now empty with aging parents with health problems and children that never call them. You lose friends and you waste so much time. You squander opportunities to grow. You miss opportunities to care for the ones you love. Little moments of neglect stacked up over time. Then you become a sad and grotesque mockery of what you once were and all you ever could have been and all that others hoped you could be. I sincerely hope that God sees all of the good moments we had and all the love we shared and he doesn't forget them.

I can't stop thinking about holding her hand, hugging her, putting my hand on her lower back, walking around with her, taking her to beautiful places. It's all-consuming

someone tell me I wont be alone and unwell forever

>>34363635
You won't be alone or unwell forever.

>>34363635
You won't be but you gotta get off your ass

>>34363638
every time i go outside, other people feel even more unreachable

I hope my hand gets better so that I can play piano again.

>>34363643
It will. Just gotta keep believing in yourself.

i wish men and women could be friends, im so lonely

>>34363650
do it with your friends

>>34363658
this makes no sense

>>34361350
>>34363647
Thanks. Gn.

>>34363612
I have never neglected my parents and never will.

>>34360590
s'alright

>>34361030
He. I’m always cooking and cleaning up after. I should’ve killed myself when I had the chance.

Sometimes I really miss escorting. I used to escort between 18-20 and enjoyed it even with some of the more messed up situations.

How over is it if I'm a 35 year old virgin with avoidant personality disorder and various other mental illnesses (professionally diagnosed)?

>>34364126
That sounds pretty bad, I'm surprised you're a virgin at that age. You should try some therapy and see if that helps you with your problems. Best of luck to you!

>>34364126
To anon,That sounds pretty bad, I'm surprised you're a virgin at that age. You should try some therapy and see if that helps you with your problems. Best of luck-
SignedM

>>34363910
What do you miss about it?

>>34364151
Part of it is the money and the other part was owning my sexuality and embracing it plus most clients were regulars and really nice and more than just sex. And also some kinky stuff too lol

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Out the Hollows
Where our Swallows Nest
CompleteInEachOtherMM-MM

Keep getting recommended quirky, literally mentally ill girls, and I'm enjoying it.

>>34363676
Good, you are literally staving off evil

>>34364533
Thank you. I am very fortunate to be born into a very loving, caring, present, family. Every time we get together we have a ton of fun.

>>34364126
It's never too late to lose your virginity, the thing for me honestly is that you find someone you enjoy your company with.
I had a girl who was amazing in bed but otherwise awful to be around. I had another that was beautiful and funny, but weaponised a lot against me.
Maybe I ought to date blondes.

It's not my fault for being retrenched.
So why do I feel anxiety & guilty all the time now, as if I'm not allowed to be unemployed just for awhile?

I slept through my therapy appointment. I hate myself so much.

>>34364614
I'm afraid this might happen to me too.

i miss you.

i don't really know what else to say. the loss of our connection, our relationship, the pain, it's almost unbearable. it's been over a year now and it doesn't feel any better, it's like a wound that refuses to heal, and i don't know what to do about it. i can't even contact you about this because i know it'll make the whole situation worse, even though i'm sure you'd rather me readh out than feel how i am now.

it's like i'm permanently diminished, or perhaps at this point i can just say i AM permanently diminished. you apologized for getting my hopes up, but i would take an infinite amount of *that* over this distance. it's getting to the point where i can't see myself even starting to get close to someone even platonically, attachment simply isn't worth this pain, i'd rather just be lonely for the rest of my days. i'm even anxious about you reaching back out, because i can't stomach the chance you'd leave again.

and i hate how little control i have over this. i don't feel like i control my life anymore, and since i was a kid that was always the one thing i could go to for reassurance, and even that is gone now.

and that isn't your fault, this is my own weird fucked up psychology doing this to me, you haven't done anything wrong here. you're loved and sorely missed, and i hope you're having a better time than i am.

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I'm excited for you to be home with me

Why the fuck is the bump limit so low on this board?

How do I deal with the fact that the people I live with are sometimes just resent factories that make me want to pour sufuric acid onto my brain?

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Seriously how the fuck can I stop being fully, wholeheartedly convinced my days are ruined in the first few hourse then lose all motivation to do anything with my life, and all hope in anything? I must suffer from the most catastrophic fucking self defeating piece of shit mind virus anybody has ever been afflicted with.......

>>34364723
Same

I'll just set my mind to something and pray I don't feel like I'm getting screamed at in both ears by demons the whole damn time.

>>34364781
Ok

Here's a free tips.
If you're feeling anxious & frightened for no reasons now, go listen to some army song.
The songs are composed to make people feel strong in a dire time.
After listening to it, you will instantly feel fearless and motivated.

Dear M,

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I think maybe you’re always going to be. There are a few things I feel that I have to say. I’ll be trying here to just get it all out of me it’s not easy being this vulnerable. This is my third time trying to write this I can’t quite fucking get it right for some reason. Firstly I’d like to apologize for how everything has turned out between us. We had a lot of potential to be great lovers and friends for one another. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that for a time we were that for each other or even that in a weird way we’ll always be that for each other. But we both made some choices and acted in such a way that we grew apart. I think we’ve both apologized for that and on my end I’ve forgiven you completely. Perhaps one day you can forgive me too. But I will admit that I didn’t choose you when it seemed like I had the chance and for that I am so sorry. It’s a decision I stand by but please don’t ever think it’s because you’re not enough. What happened is after you I found myself in a love that is as enduring as it is fulfilling. It’s secure and unambiguous. It’s light. Something in me made sure that I held onto that and I’ll keep holding on because they make me happy and I make them happy. I can’t abandon them. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have you in my heart too. The whole thing just makes me really sad. Beyond fucking sad because I still wish somehow this was able to be different. I want to be the one to hold you close deep down.
1/2

>>34364880
https://youtu.be/UpI2XHUDH9Y I definitely feel a little less terrible.

>>34365051
2/2
I’ll always be forever grateful to you for the way you showed me what connection could really be like. What it’s like to have someone listen to your problems and passions and be on your side. To bare so much of ourselves to one another. I wish I could still do that with you. But I have someone I care about that much now and I don’t want to hurt them. With all of this in mind I think it’s not fair of me to ask that you continue caring about me. I’d like it if you were just free. Free to live as you see fit keeping me in your heart or not. Being with whoever you want to be with. I already know you have that freedom it doesn’t come from me at all but I hope putting this out there into the universe can make things a bit clearer for the both of us. I want you to be happy too. You do deserve to be loved of that I’ve always been sure. Thank you for helping me to see that it’s the same for me too. If we’re meant to meet again we will and if you ever want to reach out it would be welcome. On a lighter note though I wonder if you’ve gained more confidence with women? I was thinking about it and thought that maybe you really ought to try.

With love from A or was it another letter?

>>34365054
https://youtu.be/Xu4SqYKlhjg
https://youtu.be/W8PO16yrsNk

>>34363581
Thank you it does help. I do adaptive boxing, I've only been going for a couple of weeks but I hope i get to do at least a few fights.

im going to have a good day
today is going to be good
i attract and manifest positivity ˚.+⊹

I have been shitting nonstop for the past week my asshole feels sore this sucks I never want to eat again

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>>34365051
>>34365056
You're not her. My m does not use the initial a.

I will be home with my m no matter what, that's a promise.

>>34365112
Nta but have you considered that maybe you don't need to comment on things that are obviously not for or about you? That maybe the fact you can determine the message wasn't from your m is an indicator of that? And that your tendency to reply to things you know aren't for or about you in order to talk about yourself comes across as more than a little gauche? Honestly man I'm sure you're mentally ill and will never seek any help and I want to be sympathetic to you but you're exhausting to the people around you. If it's not for you just move on, you don't need to comment on every little thing.

I'm in limbo as far as what I think is the truth of reality goes. Really terrible place to be, a meaningless place where nothing can be done.

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It’s going to be okay

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>>34365339
Unfortunately I have to protect my self and her from narcissistic emotional blackmail That write larp letters just like this using details that are similar but not quite in an attempt to manipulate perceptions and emotions about us and the actions she does

>your ip address has been temporarily banned
>your ip address has been temporarily banned
>your ip address has been temporarily banned

>>34366017
Sounds like you are a ban evading

>>34366023
I post when the ban ends and I haven't received any direct bans in months. The IP ban only started after the recent captcha update.

>>34365528
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me