I’m 21. Unemployed and dropped out of community college. I’ve worked two jobs in the past, one fast food and one retail but they both just made me want to die. People say no one likes their jobs but it wasn’t simply a daily annoyance. Like I hated school but having to go was just something I had to do. It sucked but whatever. When I was working, all I could think about was killing myself, or fantasies of some crazy person walking in and shooting me or something.I feel really humiliated. I don’t really have any friends but the few that see me here and there just look at me with pity. Like they’re waiting for the day I give up and die. I don’t want to mooch off my parents forever but I don’t know what to do. No one near me is hiring, when they are I apply and get nothing, and I don't have a car so I'm kind of fucked in that aspect. As far as careers, nothing I like doing is considered a real job. I thought about going back to school to ease some guilt but I don’t know what degree to go for. Is life really just coping until you die? If that’s the case, I don’t know why I wouldn’t just kill myself now and make everyone’s lives easier.
>>34360146You've only been an adult for 3 (three) years. The reason you don't have your shit together is because you're not supposed to have it together. Think realistically for a moment, and yeah I know you genuinely feel that your depressive perspective is as real as it gets, but hear me out. Reality ≠ your feelings. It's not your thoughts either, it is just plain observation. Look at your own life as though you were in the third person, an outsider, and make no personal judgements of this person (you). Only observe the state of affairs.You're 21. You've only been an adult for 3 years. You're still figuring out what you want, and you wrestle with trying to do things you feel are expected of you and are not enjoying it because they're presumably not what you want. You have yet to figure that out. What's the verdict? That's normal as shit. How come?Think of the 'ideal', the stereotype ideal most aim for:- High paid job- A good house (either large or cozy)- Decent wheels, like a car - A girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband - A circle of friends, trusted allies- The cute pet cat or dog or other animal- An adorable child to call 'son' or 'daughter', or multiple children- And enough bits of freedom to pursue hobbies or interests or life long dreams Happy ever after. All that shit I listed? You're not getting it at 21. Close to no one gets it all at that age, only less than 1% do, and those are people from wealth and high status families who had it handed to them. They may work hard to maintain it, but they got it handed to em.The normal expectation is: You aren't supposed to have it all together at 21. It takes time, a lot of time. Most people today only have half of that checklist by mid 30's! And you're only 21.Give yourself a break dude
But there’s going to be a point where I’m not 21 anymore. And if I don’t change something I’ll be here when it’s no longer acceptable to be lost. Give myself a break from what? I’m not doing anything.
bump
>>34360261Try getting out there and doing things. You need to find what you actually enjoy doing. From there, try to find a job doing it. Like animals? Volunteer at the shelter. Consider becoming a vet or working for an animal rescue if you like the shelter work. Like kids? Try helping at the Boys and Girls Club or other charity that works with children. If that is great, get your child psych degree and become a daycare worker. Prefer the quiet of the elders? Volunteer to work with the elderly. You can become an in-home non-medical assistant at first. If it works nicely, become a nurse and add medical assistance to your skillset. Retail sucks ass, So does fast food. Nobody blames you for hating the two jobs with the lesst pay and least respect on the face of the planet. The garbage man has it better than those jobs. So, yeah, you're fine. Really.
>>34360146Nothing wrong with being a neet, surely you have hobbies you enjoyAs a depressed anon, neeting is the only time I feel happy. You don't have to worry about shit constantly or be stressed. You can learn a language, read books, do whatever the fuck you want. Embrace it.Get a part-time if you feel like it, but believe me, nothing shameful about not wanting to be exploited by some asshole boss.
>>34360641the only thing i really like doing and am decent at is illustration. but im too pussy to actually pursue that. i don’t even mind working freelance for a while or whatever but im scared of trying really hard just to flop. so much so that it’s been hard to just draw for fun again since every drawing feels like it’s a test now.not bad advice though. i thought about something in psychology when i went to school but getting a masters sounds like a pain in the ass
>>34360658i wish i could enjoy the bliss but i’m too busy beating myself up all the time to really enjoy any freedom lol. every time i try to engage with anything or enjoy something, i think that there’s no way i deserve it, and as soon as i think that it’s like my body refuses to continue.
>>34360261>But there’s going to be a point where I’m not 21 anymore.Yeah I know. But that's true for everyone, there's going to be a point where you'll be 60. I'm already in my 30's, and it felt like one day when I was 21 I blinked and 10 years flew by. I know I will blink again and I will be grey haired. The perception of time gets faster each year, that's just life. >And if I don’t change something I’ll be here when it’s no longer acceptable to be lost.The paradox about being lost is when people refuse to accept they are lost, they never find their way back. Fighting the feeling of being lost is not acceptance. As crazy as it sounds, accepting being lost and admitting defeat to it is what let's you become un-lost. If that makes sense. Basically it allows you to say "fuck it" and to let the chips fall wherever they may, which brings you to a true sense of control through letting go of control. >Give myself a break from what?From yourself lol. Take your main OP post and rework the wording. Instead of using 'I' words replace it with 'you' language. As if you had wrote that to someone else. It would read as a really harsh put down.Imagine if you said to someone:>"You're unemployed, jobless, a drop out. You couldn't even stick at the two jobs you had. You should feel embarrassed, you have no friends. And the people who are around most likely look at you and wait for you to finally die. Why not make everyone's life easier? Just kill yourself."Imagine saying that to someone else and how twisted that would be. Now realize you've been saying that to yourself. Stand up to yourself bro, don't let (you) push you around.It sounds weird I know but it's a real part in a person's life where they do battle with themselves. There's many myth and symbols man has used to try to portray this. The one they settled on was of a man fighting his own shadow, his own inner darkness. The way to win is to call a truce.
>>34360702>every time i try to engage with anything or enjoy something, i think that there’s no way i deserve itThen change the way you think. Why wouldn't you deserve it? You come off as lacking affection, might help to have someone to tell you you're special and they care about you. Maybe look into getting a partner.
>>34360146The very very fortunate have jobs they actually enjoy and find satisfaction in. The almost as fortunate have jobs that are at least bearable and are made better by pleasant setting, co-workers, or other aspects. The rest find the meaning and pleasure of their lives elsewhere - in family, friends, hobbies, art, music, etc - and consider work an acceptable price to pay to get the 128 hours a week they're not on the job
>>34360146Every 4chan cope boils down to the same tired fantasy: something *good* is always just over the horizon. Alien disclosure is coming to earth, Hitler 2.0 rising from the ashes, Jesus descending to smite their enemies, Trump and the globohomo awakening in two weeks, mass genocide solving all their problems, or the magical day when everyone suddenly agrees with their garbage takes.It’s all hopium for losers who can’t deal with the present. Instead of doing anything meaningful, they sit in their digital basements praying for a future that never comes. Every post is just another round of "just wait, you’ll see," while the rest of the world keeps living, laughing, and leaving them behind.The truth? Nothing’s coming. No savior, no reckoning, no mass awakening, no shift in opinions. It’s just endless cope for people too powerless to face reality. The only thing in their future is more disappointment and deep down, they know it.
>>34360921>Alien disclosure is coming to earth, Hitler 2.0 rising from the ashes, Jesus descending to smite their enemies, Trump and the globohomo awakening in two weeks, mass genocide solving all their problems, or the magical day when everyone suddenly agrees with their garbage takes.All of those "good" things have one thing in common anon. All of those have to do with the world, and not the individual's personal and private life. You are right it is a cope, but not because those things have not yet happened or may never happen, it's a cope because it's the dreams of cowardice. It's easier to look out into the outside world and wish for it's utopian revival or it's just destruction. It's very easy to latch onto people or figures or ideologies or abstractions that are not (you). And the reason it's easy is because it omits (you), it blurs you and it makes sure your own sense of self remains a mirage, that you may ways be a stranger to yourself and never will you have to answer the call of personal responsibility or vulnerable sincerity. Alien disclosure cannot break your heart, Hitler 2.0 cannot personally betray you, Jesus descending to smite the enemy cannot affect you when you've already smited yourself, and the globohomo awakening won't matter if you already know you prefer to sleep. What really stirs the soul is not the goings on of the outside world, it's the happenings of his own personal one. And if nothing is happening in his own life, there will be no soul to stir. You can always reclaim that soul, but it will require accepting and working with pain. It requires the hard footpath of hope and abandoning the easy road of cope.
>>34360146Life is work. If you don't work for someone else, life eventually forces you to. If you don't work for yourself, understand that you are borrowing time from your future self.>Is life really just coping until you dieIt is, but don't fall for the illusion that there is an alternative. Killing yourself is not a way out, and you know this.You also know the only real way out is to lean into work. You better be happy about it, you can be unhappy about it, you can be a leftist or a conservative, it all doesn't help.
>>34360146Embrace your spiritual side, reject materialism. Our world is trending in this direction so you’ll be ahead of the curve.
>>34360838a partner is the last thing i need lol im lacking affection sure but id like to take care of my partner not have them lug me around like a pathetic whelp. as far as the other thing, i really can’t give a good reason as to why i do or do not deserve something. there are people who do much worse things than be a bum that still let themselves feel pleasure. i guess it’s my way of punising myself or something. >>34360882>>34360955this kind of thinking seems to just be reality. i want to ask though, do you think it’s worth it trying to do something you like then? even if you fail miserably and end up working something more traditional? >>34361239but i don’t believe in anything
>>34361263>But i don't believe in anything For (you) my friend. https://youtu.be/uZwzbA91Yno?si=TXCtKM8nLfJ4GD3d
I'm kinda in the same situation as you but 23. Working two jobs, no friends, no girlfriend, no college education (especially now since the whole job market crisis going on at the moment). Loser shit. My parents say that they're "proud of me" but how can they be proud of me if I'm not proud of myself. I can't even save money because I'm stuck paying a mortgage for a house I do not want. I feel like a lot of people in their 20s don't know what they want neither. Life is complicated like that. Just know that you're not alone and that this thing called life is a journey without a real destination.
>>34360146>Is life really just coping until you die?Yes, most of the world's population survives until they die.
>>34360167>And enough bits of freedom to pursue hobbies or interests or life long dreamsThis is the only thing on the list that I want. I'm not the OP.
>>34361263>do you think it’s worth it trying to do something you like then?I think so, yes.
>>34361343that actually does make me feel a lot better, wow. though i don’t think you’re a loser at all. this might be extremely fucking hypocritical for me of all people to say, but if other people are proud of you, maybe you should take it as a sign to take things easy on yourself.>>34361916thinking about it after waking up, i guess i have nothing better to do. thanks anons.
>>34360942> the dreams of cowardiceI like this phrase.
>>34360146try a computer science degree
>>34360146>Is life really just coping until you die?I thought the same thing a while back myself, until I decided to see if I'd succeed out of spite. I went back to university at 23, graduated with a degree in philosophy (because I genuinely enjoyed the material [And the engineering department was made up of hyper sweatlord chinese kids who did literally nothing but study all day]), volunteered at the Red Cross to help people, and my experience handling their phone lines got me my first "real" job with the provincial government. Fast forward ten years I got promoted, now live in a condo I own, and can afford the shit I want.Let me give you a tip anon: You may be legally an adult but you 20's are going to be full of the shit jobs. I'm 40 now, but all my younger friends in their 30's got jobs as on-call service technicians (Which pay really well but it stresses them out).Personally, I'd recommend seeking therapy. From a real therapist and not AI. I know some welfare programs could help spring you a visit or two. I don't know about you, but volunteering with the Red Cross to give out medical equipment to families who were in desperate need really boosted my self-esteem even if I got paid nothing (they even served as a reference for my current employer).
