I have a decades-long issue in my relationship and I’m unsure if I handle it correctly or am just over-sensitive.Whenever we’re talking and particularly during non-serious discussions my partner will often enthusiastically jump in with her take on things without letting me finalise what I wanted to say, which may have required zero, one or few more additional sentences to properly express what I wanted to say.I’ve reacted in numerous different ways depending on the circumstances : let her continue, gently point out that I’d not finished or just outright annoyance.How do you handle this? Is it something that can be fixed with better communication? Do I learn to live with it? I just really dislike my words being disregarded and cut off mid-flow. And I’m not a long winded conversationalist by any stretch and somewhat terse at times. She is a success in her career and she also suspects she has a form of ADHD.
>>34362226Have you tried talking to her about it?
>>34362235Rather simply reacting? Probably not in much depth to be honest.
Do you talk 1x1 often about feelings? If you’re not comfortable doing that, then I would just interrupt her and say “you gotta let me finish”>female
>>34362226This is an ADHD thing if she's generally a polite person.Gently pointing out that you're not finished is probably your best option.Draw her attention to it every time she does it and come up with some kind of shorthand signal or code word to do so. A simple agreement that if she hears/sees the signal she shuts up until you signal that you're finished.
>>34362241Explain it to her. If she has ADHD there's a high chance her mind latches onto a certain idea/drifts, or she is already thinking what she thinks you're going to say.
>>34362254Nice one. Not thought of that. Just a simple visual cue that say I am talking.
>>34362253We talk about anything and anything and if there is anything I’m doing that’s irritating she’ll not fail to let me know.
>>34362264I'm glad you like the idea.I've found it be a good middle ground. Because you shouldn't HAVE to ask to be allowed to finish but I NEED the reminder and it being a visual cue or nonsense word instead of straight up asking me to stop talking and let you finish feels like a collaborative solution rather than you having to put up with my bullshit. If you have to keep asking me to shut up then I'm not doing anything to show that I respect your needs/wants but by remembering and abiding by the signal I show that I care, I'm just forgetful and easily excited.
doesn't really matterif you hadn't made your point yet - you're justified in bulldozing the conversation to make it
>>34362226How long have you been talking before she says something? Is it something you're saying accusingly? If that's the case then she should be able to respond immediately after the first statement not 10 statements in. Otherwise you were just berating her. Conversation should go two ways with equal parts on both sides. It's fair if she has ADHD because what she wants to say maybe gone by the time it gets to be that point where you are done talking. If you are compatible partners you will find that conversing with her works well IRL.
>>34362241>Probably not in much depth to be honest.That would seem to be the obvious first step.
Smack her every time she interrupts you.
Lolllll
>>34362471It’s quite literally during or straight after the first sentence which makes it so frustrating. It’s not like I’ve been boring on for an eternity.
>>34362226I've got pretty severe and untreated ADHD and yeah I struggle with interrupting people a LOT. I resort to physically biting down on my tongue to stop myself from talking. Not biting down hard, just holding my tongue in place between my teeth. It really does work and helps me remember not to talk while someone else is talking. Most interruptions occur while I'm extremely excited to piggyback off of what someone else is saying, like my mouth moves faster than my brain has time to tell me not to talk.Biting down on tongue is a constant physical reminder that someone else is talking, and that it's my turn to wait for them to finish speaking.
>>34362226>>34366713My partner and I have another strategy that we use also, which is a number system:>1 means Listen>2 means Advice>3 means ComfortWe will sometimes ask the other person what number they need in the moment. Do they want to be listened to, do they want to receive advice, or do they want to receive Comfort (and what does that look like?). Using this system helps us both figure out what we want out of a conversation or interaction.
