How can I do it?
We hang out, we laugh, we even get drunk together. Then why can't I tell her how I feel

>>34364864
Because you're afraid of rejection and karma

>>34364857
Everything feels pointless. I know it's the laziness talking. Every time I give it another shot at anything I just get overwhelmed by the amount of oppurtinities I lost by simply being autistic, gifted yet socially retarded. Why is everything so all over the place

how do I get through to my retard therapist that I'm not going to simply "accept my circumstances" or "learn to love myself", and I'm never going to be okay with not having friends or a life?

>>34365085
get a new therapist

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You're not her. My Mdoes not use the initial a.

I will be home with her no matter what, that's a promise

Oh the Moon! :D

>>34365156
What about the moon?

>>34365167
Beautiful, isn't it?

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I can't read or watch anything related to romance. I'm too weak. This girl broke me. More like, the expectations I built up broke me. I'm nothing but white ashes again.

>>34364857
I hope things work out for me

Part of me wonders if therapy has made me worse

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How do I get the motivation to cook dinner for my family

In wondering why my loving and devoted girlfriend might leave me, I had an extraordinarily simple realization. It wouldn't be for my looks, nor my personality, nor any of the things she already loves me for - but for my drinking, which has already shown to be disastrous to my judgment and emotional volatility.

However, the flip-side is that my sobriety is equally threatening to this relationship, as it merely exacerbates the maladjusted traits I developed while coping with loneliness and the feeling of being fundamentally unlovable, so that if left to my own devices I would simply choose to isolate myself once more and I would be damn good at justifying it.

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>>34365183
Of course she is. She means the world to me.

feeling remorse now?

>>34365556
Take your medicine

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>>34365339 #
Unfortunately I have to protect my self and Mfrom narcissistic emotional blackmail That write larp letters,posts,threads just like that letter in the other GIOYC thread to m but signed a, using details that are similar but not quite in an attempt to manipulate perceptions and emotions about us and the actions she does
All my heartMM
SignedMM

>>34365598
Just like this post in an attempt to manipulate perception of me as mentally ill when I am not. He is just attempting to narcissistic emotional blackmail to put me down in your eyes so that he can attempt to manipulate you, just as he did, just how I lost you with c's lies and deceit.

>>34365556
Go to the gym, start eating right, get 1-2 dating apps and/or start going to bars solo to meet other girls. Quit being a depressed fag and put yourself out there man, for your own sake. This girl you think about isn't going to want you all depressed and shit either, think about that. Make yourself better, ideally for yourself, but if your sole motivator is to get back with her, fuck it do that. Anything but be all sad and shit. Good luck out there king

>>34365617
I am fit and I'm not depressed.
I'm easily able to get other girls, I have always chosen her because she is my soulmate.

I keep I promise this to her and that includes not cheating on her with another. I know she's keeping her promises to me, some way somehow.

manifesting you, always ˚˖°.⊹ ࣪ ˖

>>34365204
I was trying to reply to this, sorry for confusion.
>>34365419
If you're this guy tho I think you're just a little insecure and need to get over yourself. If she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat, no use in stressing about it. If she did she wasn't your soulmate was she?

Fyi
Being lied to and manipulated by Colton, impersonating me. That does not make her not my soulmate. It means she was tricked deceived an emotionally blackmailed. My prayer is that in this time we have not lost anything with each other and she has kept her promises to me. But I do recognize that we were harmed by him and that's why no matter what She and I will be together again. We are made for each other.

>>34365690
I'm probably missing some context bc I didn't see the old thread but I'm glad you two are growing from that. Getting scammed for your identity is a fucked thing to do through.

>>34365592
Nope. But I am busting to take a shit. I'm on the toilet and it really doesn't want to come out.

>>34365697
Here's the old thread, That specific letter is at the bottom but She should recognize when there are specific details that are the same as us and then what the direction is attempting to manipulate her perception is pushing either to put me down or to put him up or to push her into it In action that benefits him and harms us.
https://boards.4chan.org/adv/thread/34355711#bottom

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IfMaria ever needs proof, I have everything saved and I know that she is smart enough to see through his LARP threads and attempts to manipulate her and I using details that are similar to us. She shouldn't fall for him any longer

>>34365758
Hoping so, and if she was that retarded then that gives you a good gauge of her character too. Win either way

>>34365793
There's only hope and remembering the way Her eyes felt looking at me, hearing her voice told me she love me. How it felt being with her. How we complete each other.

I don't know if we lost anything, I don't know if the promises are kept. But I have kept all of mine to her and so I have to believe that she kept all of hers to me as well. Some way somehow.

>>34365639
>If you're this guy tho I think you're just a little insecure and need to get over yourself. If she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat, no use in stressing about it. If she did she wasn't your soulmate was she?
I mean yeah, for sure. I guess that's just life.

Mid 20s female looking to divorce husband. He really wants to work things out but I keep telling him I want a divorce.

I keep listing reasons like how he sexually neglected me and sex feels like it's borderline rape with him. I don't foresee a future, or a family with children long term with him anymore. Explained that hes also a super extroverted person, that loves going outside - he understood when he married me I am an autistic shut in and dislikes going outside. He talks about how my lack of going outside effects his mental health, how our different religious views effects his mental health. Explained how his family makes me uncomfortable, and I do not see them as my family. He is adamant about living in a state with fauna that I am allergic to, I can barely go outside as is. Quoted all of these issues, he still wants to work things through.

First time we talked about divorce, I listed out what I want after the divorce. I said I want the amount of money used to buy his daily driver (money from my savings), and he can have the house. He makes more than me by a large margin - so I was hoping he'd take my offer with no fight. He fully agreed, and I was hoping we could use a less expensive, and nicer route with a mutual agreement on divorce and division of assets.

He really wants to stay together, begging for forgiveness, blaming himself for everything, asking for another week to make things better. Talking to me about his depression, how I mean the world to him, and how he doesn't think he can move on from me. I just don't love him anymore, and feel disgusted by his touch. I don't want to be married with a man I can't even stand to hug. I feel like hes my brother, as I watched him go from early 20s in college to now. It hurts to watch him in pain, but I also know I do not want a relationship with him.

>>34366024
Sounds like you're making the right choice.
Won't be easy, but at least you didn't have children.

>>34366024
>just marries someone they have nothing in common with
why are women like this?

>>34366383
Probably not a great idea to post about this on a website that LEOs read.

>>34365805
Love like that is hard to find, giving everything of yourself to someone else is fucking scary, while at the same time being the best feeling ever when reciprocated. I've only felt that for 2, maybe 3 women in my life and goddamn were they the worst to lose. But they taught me a lot about being an actual good partner to them. Rooting for you two, seriously.

>>34365867
It's something I took a long time to accept, if you don't have absolute trust in them then what's the point? All you can do is try to be the best partner for them and see if she does the same. Them cheating says A LOT more about them than it does about you.

>>34366401
Law Enforcement Officer, a pig

Best be on your best behavior, they are always listening.

>>152935925
Howdy

Everyday I go out for work and into public, I always come back home hating myself. Being around regular people makes me feel so stupid and lazy and abnormal. Every interaction that goes even slightly askew haunts my head space for the rest of the day and I go home regretting every interaction and word I did and said.

I try to tell myself it isn't that big of a deal and I'm over analyzing my every move, but it doesn't help. I still end up feeling the same.

>>34364857
Why you wanna do this on the internet? Meet me somewhere motherfucker let's do this shit for real

>>34366514
You'll probably never see most of those people again. Trust me, people are way more wrapped up in their own little world than fixating on some random guy in public for 30 seconds tops.

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>>34366394
I know it is. She means everything to me and I fought for her for years now, staying for her keeping my promises for her, trusting her despite the silence and distance. Even knowing what the enemy was doing with his larps and taking things for my letters and repeating them at her like they were his and at the same time writing as me in places to manipulate her to change her perception of me.

Attached is our love

I'm so thankful she knows the truth aboutColton now and how he emotional blackmail through lies, deceivement, manipulation. She can see the proof herself easily and if she needs me to show her I have it for her whenever she's ready.

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I've done nothing but doomscroll 4chan and watch youtube for the past 8 years.
I'm not even exaggerating. I'm just wasting my life. I see no end other than my parents passing and me ending up homeless. I've already spent 8 hours on 4chan today.

>a mayo packet was inside the dryer with my clothes
Brother

>>34366670
I would honestly not be here, It takes so much energy out of my day not to mention time that I could be using in so many other ways, butM always comes first to me and I need to stay here until she is home with me again. I love her with all my heartMike

I think my neighbor thinks I'm racist when actually I'm just really fucking socially stupid and awkward and come across as kind of an asshole when I get overwhelmed at times, which is my bad, but it's not because he's black. I'm also worried that he's told some of our other neighbors because I think I'm getting kind of a cold shoulder from one or two others (doesn't help that I'm a major introvert and don't really do community stuff and haven't gotten to know any of them more than saying hi in passing).

I'm so embarrassed and am trying not to spiral about it and make a bunch of assumptions, it's just a vibe I'm getting, and I don't really know how to fix it. They're all friendly with my husband, who is way more extroverted and not a total fucking sperg like me jesus christ I wanna fucking kill myself my husband deserves so much better than a fucking freak like me who can't even socialize with the neighbors like a normal person I hope I have an aneurysm and don't wake up in the morning so I can die and it won't be my fault if anyone is sad since all I do is disappoint people and make them uncomfortable as it is

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>hit on a girl
>she seems bashful
>I eventually win her over
>go on a date
>enjoy my time with the woman
>"anon we should go out again"
>okay
>"next time take me to this nice restaurant"
>nope, sorry, maybe something else
>"okay then buy me this expensive dress"
>lol fuck no, bye bitch
>leave despite her attempts to whine me into compliance
>unmatch on dating app
>as soon as I break up with her she's blowing up my phone and trying to find me on every social media platform she can
>"WHATTHEFUCKHOWCOULDYOUILOVEDYOUANDTOOKARISKONYOUANDYOUDOTHISTOMEI'LLNEVERLOVEAGAINIHOPEYOUSHOOTYOURSELFI'LLBETYOU'REGAYORFUCKKIDS"
>accusing me of the wildest shit imaginable
>against my greatest fears nobody believes her
Thank God she doesn't know where I live
I can only assume I am the worst fucking person I know because I only ever seem to attract these psychos
All this over one fucking date

I just want to make a girl best friend that doesn't post on social media, doesn't talk about politics, and also has no friends. I want to eat wings and watch Anime together and vow to be sisters and not judge eachother. I don't know how to make friends when it's not this.

>>34366394
>It's something I took a long time to accept, if you don't have absolute trust in them then what's the point? All you can do is try to be the best partner for them and see if she does the same. Them cheating says A LOT more about them than it does about you.
I appreciate it anon. She's definitely an amazing partner to me, which makes me even more scared of losing her. I try my best everyday and she's very patient with my issues, so I make sure she knows that she can always depend on me as well.

>>34366931
What

>>34366901
That's great man, I'm glad she's also doing her part and you're not just a doormat. Love is a 2-way street and she's gotta be ride or die if you are. I'll be honest it's hard to shake that retarded-ass doubt in the back of your head that she might cheat or some stupud shit like that, but remember she is CHOOSING you every day and you her.

mike I just busted a huge load in that whore Maria's cunt, sorry for party rockin

>>34367120
LMAO
i, too, am sorry for party rockin

>>34367120
Didn't happen.

>>34367121
Me slowly realizing I fell for the schizopost a few hours ago

>>34367140
What post

The urge to kill myself on camera in front of an audience and have it sent to everyone in her family gets more intense by the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC3bOkUjsyk

Your tiny frame, small tits. You are perfect MariaIn every way for me
MyLoveM

>>34367190
Holy banger

>>34367156
Bro, you are a shining example of what happens when someone is able to convince other people their problems are significant. Look at what it has done to you? Now you that you think what shit you're dealing with has made it so valuable your life doesn't matter? The fuck? There is probably some kid in Cambodia trying to get a fish out of some damn river to eat through the day wishing he could have your life. Give yourself some self-respect. Stop being so damn emo over middle school Disney-style problems.

>>34367205
This. 90% of these posts are from 1st-world faggots who have never had to struggle a day in their fucking lives. The west has higher suicide rates compared to the rest of the world despite being miles more developed and advanced. Why? Because of onions bitchboy faggots like this guy. You're pathetic man, please for your own sake either do something to change your situation or end up another tick in the statistical ocean.

https://youtu.be/P_hqTdxn2us?si=QIlkLH52keBk1wt6
Just change the "She" by "He" and good lord this song is about me...
Is there a way to learn how to be assertive?

>>34367205
>>34367212
then why yall bitching?

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I had a pretty bad assumption, no sense in worrying because I need to trust you. I love youMariaWithAllMyHeart

>>34367327
You lack self-reflection anon. You can't live your life where everyone is the problem except you. If you want to escape your depression, look yourself in the mirror and say, "I got problems like everyone else, and I am gonna own up to it, not let it tear me down." By the way I'm just text on your computer screen. What will you do with it is the question not if the text has feelings and finds out it is something deeper. You are the deep thing.

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>>34367205
Some kid in Cambodia wishes they were born to a family with a pedophile murderer as a father and a bpdemon as mother? To get fucked again shortly after by a different man who had an obsession with getting cucked by dogs? Rotating groups of older male couples until adulthood? Climb out of the muck and shithole of alcoholism and drug addiction? I've never starved but I've been shoved into and locked in a room with nothing but a mattress on the floor and no sheets for lengths of time endlessly staring a wall wondering what it might be like to be some free kid in a forest somewhere. Locking siblings in my room with me while madness unfolds outside the door. Fishing? Spent so much time in that room that now that I'm free and sorrounded by forest I can't leave my current one and haven't in months but somehow I have managed to not sleep alone very often. Humblebrag or self loathing and loathing of people who'd be willing to be with me? Sex has never felt any better than masturbation and I hate being touched sexually but I pursue it like an obsession then lie because with someone else is the only way I can sleep w.o every light on like it's the middle of the day. Leaving windows open in winter and still waking up drenched in sweat and stiff from night terrors.

>moralfagging
and
>tripfagging
>anon website

>>34367385
Well gee anon. I lack fucking empathy, but I do know for a fact that letting ugly shit get to you ruins the gold you could have underneath it all if all gets thrown out, and that is a concrete fact anon.

True your family is full of fucked up people. But God put you on this planet to be the opposite. You're letting your shit pull you in like a vortex.

And it is fucked up and painful to live with. IT IS BUT YOU SHOULDN'T LET IT DESTROY YOU!

You have a choice anon, either the fairy tale where people get all happy in the end and say yeah anon the evil dragon is dead, or reality where you pick yourself up and say I deserve to have a good life and nothing is gonna stop me.

Again I'm not denying your pain. But if I was in your situation, I'd rather give the world a big fuck you by dying trying rather than give up and let it win.

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I said my prayers. I remember the way you were with me. The way you smiled when you looked at me, your eyes had this look of love, innocence, desire. The way your ears slightly stick out from your hair. The way you would say something under your breath and look away. Then look back up at me and tell me what it was quietly. The way we completed each other sentences, our thoughts. How it felt to be home. Safe, understood, complete, and fully honest. No games, no timing, Just pure honesty. I'd have difficulty falling asleep on the phone with you because I just wanted to kiss you. Thinking about what it would be like as you ran into my arms at the airport picking you up and kissing you for that first time. The way you'd be next to me in the car and I put my hand on your inner thigh. I've lived that night over and over with you. What happens when we open the front door. The way your eyes light up. The way your voice shakes when you look at me. You start crying because you're so happy. There's all these little moments that I live in with you all the time. I go there whenever I look at where you're missing because it feels good to spend that time with you there. Everyday for what, 5 years now. I truly do love you. My heart's broken and I still love you. And I know you're it for me. There is no other. So everyday I go forward and I put our energy into us at the house here, all these ways in which you don't see, and so much I do hear to protect us. And there's a fear that I'll see that line crossed and then that's it. That's incredibly sad. Because I know I won't continue without you. I'm just not able to do that. So until then my heart's ripped open, bleeding, and I dwell in our little moments where you're home.

That tiny Hell you are in does not justify the Heaven that could be waiting for you in the other parts of this world if just don't give up on yourself. Now I'm gonna get to my homework.

I bet you have a good friend out there who would tear up if they saw you torture yourself, and that person is on the outside of this Hell that you need to look at.

>>34367426
If you're responding to my post >>34367412

I'm not leaving this life until it's too late and the line is crossed.

I haven't given up on her. I just wanted to say the words that have been on my mind, my heart for a long time

>>34364857
I have to accept that I will be mediocre. I will look mediocre, I will have mediocre skill, mediocre tastes. I don’t crave validation that I am great, I never have, but I’m so mediocre that everyone refuses to consider me bad. To satisfy my desire to be seen as defect because I am not worth anything to this world. I live like a majority of the world and die anonymous. I wont ever understand what anyone thinks of me, I wont be directed. I wont be aided, I wont be bullied. I wont be given ability to do so for anyone else. My presence is nothing. But being human feels so special. Why am I nothing? Why are so many of us nothing? Earth is so beautiful and ive seen none of it. How can I be sure it exists, its beauty exists, if its also treated like nothing. Existence is simply mediocre. Human nature is mediocre. There is no real tragedy or happiness or destruction or miracle. Ill never feel betrayal or heartbroken or overwhelming joy or blessed or favored. Ill never feel like im right or wrong. I won’t have hidden knowledge about anything, I won’t have the capabilities to make anything better. Im just regular. Im the real npc Im a civilian Im a tourist.

Every time I get pushed I know that I will end him if I go. I don't like taking a step closer to that place because I know I will do it. Hopefully there's an intervention and she comes home to me. Because I will do it

With what I've lost with her because of him over this time. All those important moments things we will never get back. And the way he took her from me with his lies and deceit. No, I will not allow him to live that life with her. If it crosses a line he's done. Then I leave and we'll see you again in the next life

I don't want to be this person, never did. Everything was perfect with her and I. We were happy. He made me this person, and depending on what happens here he'll reap what he created. Or he can live a long life away from us.

>>34367140
What's that got to do with anything my dad's dead for one thing ok you fucking cocksucker any more questions?

>>34367482
You sound a lot like me.

>>34364857
I can't stop thinking about her. I know she's toying with me and every time we talk, she gives me just enough to keep me going, but never enough to really make me feel good about things. I want to move on and I should move on because I don't really think there's a future for me with her, but she has a hold on me that I cannot shake. I don't get it. I've been in actual relationships and I didn't feel as obsessed over the other person as I am over her, even though I don't think she'll ever go out with me. I don't get it. It might be that I have become so lonely that any attention feels like a drug, even if I know my feelings aren't being reciprocated.

Whatever your words are, they don't matter. You're not toying at all, just wasting time.

We are each others, we always have been. It always will be this way.

The moon only has eyes for the Sun

I am so bored.
I life an avg life at 31, 100k a year, shitty apartment, I have a pretty hot girlfriend, close with my family. everything is so boring and I don't want to do this anymore. midlife crisis most likely, but I want to just fuck off to a beach town and drink myself to death. starting a family wouldn't solve it. all my dreams are dead and all my friends are losers. books aren't interesting me anymore, vidya is fine but p much just a purgatory until I have to go to bed and work. I work out multiple times a week. I'm drinking and smoking less and I feel healthier, but not really any better.
I feel like the only thing that gets me excited is seeing stock/crypto balances go up and down.

I need to find something to aim for or something to look forward to.
Pushing 30. Have plenty of hobbies (learning bass, watching anime, manga, VNs, games). Learning Japanese. Own my own apartment
The main thing that sets me apart from the average person would be that I don't date and have no real desire to put myself out there. I've been single for so long that the idea of settling down doesn't feel realistic.
All I want is more time to enjoy myself with my hobbies, go on a holiday once or twice a year and continue getting better at my hobbies, but part of me is thinking about how without anything big to aim for or some goal to accomplish, it feels like I'll just be coasting through life going forward as all of the milestones for a "normal" life (baring setting down) I've already accomplished

My life is so much more exciting and I'd love to share with her

I always fuck everything up. All the time. I will always commit a crucial mistake at one point and ruin everything. I'm always fucking over my life and losing everything that I care about and then act like it was for the better but I'm kinda getting tired of this shit

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>>34364857
The meanest evilest women I've met were unattractive mids, and the nicest sweetest women I've met were gorgeous. Why is that?

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It's Wednesday, 25 March, 2026. The time is 12:58am. It's been a little over twenty years now. You're still lost, but at least you're still high. Time for a well-earned laugh. You'll never see this again, but who the fuck knows what's going to happen, anyway?
If any of you even see this, I really wish you the best.

>>34368027
Halo effect, decades of conditioning from media films, books, art etc wherein moral goodness is conveyed through conventional beauty as a shorthand. There's a reason Disney princesses and villains look the way they do. You like their appearance and your body internalizes your desire to have sex by ignoring slights, jabs, disrespect or disregard and you excuse their behavior and your brain works overtime to justify what they might 'actually' be doing, feeling or thinking so you don't challenge them on it because you personally still want to interact with or have sex with them. Women who don't inspire the same arousal in you, by contrast, are continually negated with every perceived slight you experience. For example , if she's heavier than you'd prefer and delays on doing something for you she's ignoring you or must be lazy, if she's hot and does the same, "well naturally a girl like that has a lot going on and is busy". Your own ego fills in the blanks for their actions based on where you perceive them in relation to you.

>>34368027
My best guess is that the gorgeous women thing is one of two situations:
1) Gorgeous women are afforded an intrinsically easier life. Giving them a better start at being able to develop a positive outlook and behaviour towards other people. Being nice after that could have further roll-on effects, so it kind of self-perpetuate, as well.
2) Pussyblind. She isn't actually as nice as you think. But she looks real good in those shorts and you're as hard as Chinese algebra right now.
No fucking idea about the mid shit. I don't know. Women are great and wonderous and beautiful. But they're also sort of fucked. It's one of life's tragic mysteries. I'm sure we're the same to them.

It wasn't real. It meant nothing. I wasn't special to you. I accept it. I'm throwing the last bin of shit from our lives together in the compactor.

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Maria,
Just because you feel lost does not mean your compass is broken

>"Mike, I love you, remember that."

>"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease"

>"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that."

>"I'm only yours Mike, I love only you"

>"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you."

>"You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me, I'm crying because I need you, this argument is temporary, but I'll always have that empty part needing you. I'm your home too. You are perfect. I love you more"

>"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time."

>"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait."

>"You're the love of my life Mike, everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed."

>"My Mike"

Maria, I promise it's going to be okay. I love you.

>>34368221
It probably was anon, don't give up

Every time I go to cheat the men on dating apps just piss me off too much. They are either ugly or won't get to the point AKA are waiting for a better option. I just want to smash might as well just stick with my guy and not get an STD or sexually assaulted or have my time wasted that I could be using to play video games or anime or clean or literally anything.. Men are so lucky because women are mainly just submissive losers that let themselves get pumped and dumped with no ulterior motives. Men actually have a ton of creepy crap they do also are more likely to beat vindictive and aggro if you want to cut it off. The last time I had to cut off a bunch of friends with benefits, I told them my mom had cancer and I was too depressed to have sex

>>34368328
You should go to a bridge and jump off of it instead.

>>34368328
This is why you shouldn't fucking cheat.

>>34368328
You seem bitter inside. Trying to find validation in vapid hookups isn't going to fix that. I would try to assess why you feel the urge to cheat in the 1st place and start there. Most men especially on dating apps are vile creatures [not me of course] and just want you for your body. At least your partner wants you for you, but then again it might just be puppy love. Best wishes.

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>>34368342
>>34368336
Triggered ahs

>>34367787
It won't be easy, but you have to move on from her.

I can't help but feel like 95% of the "friends" I have are fake and are talking about me behind my back.

>>34368352
>At least your partner wants you for you
Sounds like they'd both be better off if she just cut off the relationship now rather than whatever game she's currently playing

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You ever get to a point where the only thing that feels worth doing is opening pornhub and letting the algorithm carry you to the hottest, most arousing video you can find
And then there it is, the hottest video you have seen in maybe years. The hottest video you could find within 30 minutes of searching
and like. okay, there it is. and then you close the tab

A couple days before my hamster died, somebody left a schizo comment on my YouTube channel on a video of him telling me that I'm a horrible person that begs for views and I deserve bad things. Have never asked anyone to visit my channel in my life and I have no idea why they said that to me. I blocked them and deleted the comment but then my hamster became extremely ill for no reason and despite taking him to the vet he died. He was completely healthy beforehand. I'm not trying to sound schizo but I feel like I got cursed. They did it on a throwaway account with no playlists or videos.

>>34368453
They suck. I'm sorry anon.

>>34364857
Find it weird that if I've not had sex in a while I get an absolute oral fixation, I want to give head so badly (to a woman) it's actually insane.

>>34368453
I doubt you're the girl I know with a hamster, but regardless I'm sorry for your loss ;-;

All I want is a few inches more of a bigger dick. It's not fair that such a thing would be used against me in terms of forming a romantic relationship.

Can the jannies nuke Mike? I'm tired of seeing refined mental illness.

>>34367120
Fuck... you too? Nigga I think we need to get tested

>>34368469
>>34368459
Thank you. There are pictures of him in the rat general on /an/ he's the electric one

>>34368475
Bump

>>34368475
this

My little brother's wife is such a passive aggressive quirk chungus. Every time she hugs me, she makes sure to stab her chin into me as hard as she can. Once is a mistake but every single time is on purpose. Next time I see her I am literally going to hold out my hand and go no thanks- I don't want another bruise and just see what she says. She is so pathetic. I know she is just butthurt because she looks mid 40's at early 30s and had to settle for my ugly manlet brother that probably abuses her and spun her some retarded tale about me. When my dog died last year they sent me a box of cookies and I threw them in the garbage. My little brother once made fun of me for trying to save a dying kitten and tried to blackmail me to my parents about my nudes. He's the sort of guy that acts super fake nice and cares and appearances and is mean as hell when he can. I've made it as clear as day that I don't want him in my life and I'm not sending him a Christmas card this year. They jerked me around with their wedding and made me wear a very specific dress to the point where I had to send one back. I came to the wedding and women were just in random dresses and I was the only one that had to conform. I'm so tired of his bs.

>>34368607
Im sorry anon that sucks. Just cut off contact with him for a while.

>>34368447
You're the perfect example of the algorithm guinea pig we were talking about in atoga

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>>34368629
Not sure what you're referring to desu. But thank you for the (You)

>>34368607
Remove yourself. After awhile they'll [hopefully] realize how shit they treated you and try to reconcile. If not well problem solved. It sounds ljke you started detaching already so that's good. Best of luck <3

Dunno if I should be happy or sad that the girl I've been chatting up for the past month online just dropped that she's just started dating this other guy online. On one hand, I feel like it would have been nice to date her, but on the other hand, I'm sorta opening up my eyes to the fact that she was just hardcore love bombing me from the start dropping 'I love you' from the get go and stuff, and if she was even willing to be flirting with someone else at the same time. She explained to me that she genuinely liked both of us and didn't know who to choose but the other guy made a move first. But one of her girl friends told me that she did actually choose to go with the other guy. Maybe this was actually a blessing in disguise?

>>34368730
She respected you enough to tell you what was up instead of ghosting you. Dating many people at a time is modern dating and doesn't mean she devalued you. Her feedback is something you should take to heart. Women like it when you set a date, time, and place and ask if they want to go. It's not that there's anything wrong with you. It's just that someone just as good got to her first. I don't know why you are talking to one of her girlfriends and this seems messy but don't take it so hard.

>>34365044
go to a therapist and read albert ellis

>>34368765
Is this your new spam of the day?

I'm pretty insane, and entertain many types of potential absurdities that people often dismiss as outright psychotic, but I'm tired of trying to explain myself to people, and generally put up a convincing front.
It turns out you can add a progressive set of zeros without returning a zero, something to do with calculus that resolved Zeno's Paradox of Motion, which means more to me than you can possibly infer, though I need to study it more, along with many other things to climb my way out of this hellhole.
I'll get to where I'm going eventually, hopefully, even if I become more isolated along the way.
I'll remain social to the degree to not cause alarm, but this unusual perspective is something no else can resolve or confirm, so I'm just going to have to learn to trust myself, which seems like a foundational good.

Want to nip out to the shops but I don't know what kind of drink I'm craving.
Had too much coke, maybe a European Fanta? Need milk regardless.
Anyone want anything?

>>34368807
Ever tried Yerba Mate? They're good but idk if you have them in Europeland

I'm cosmically confused again and now I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm retarded........
Not only did conflicting philosophies come to a head, I LOST mah mojo.....
I feel like I toppled myself and disturbed whatever it was that on some level I perceived to be my constant. It's a weird place and it's hard to describe, but it's not productive, prosperous, or conducive to anything. Could be babble slop. I haven't been this retarded in 5 years.....

>>34368845
I've not but I could see if we have any in the local shops, surely there'll be something in the British tea section

>>34368878
What?

Resisting the urge to email an ex that hates you is so hard. Hope is stupid as is impulsive love.
Femcel A

>>34368923
I'm a lover not a fighter.

>>34368935
Love is a battlefield after all.

>>34368856
Right, I guess it is a tea of some sort. It's got a lot of natural caffeine which is the main appeal for me.

>>34368475
Necrobump

>>34368958
I don't know what nonsense you are talking about, but to set the reccord straight you are replying to 2 different Anon's and my posts of them have nothing to do with what you're talking about, even though you are probably just shitposting.

>>34369004
Yeah this guy is just schizoposting hope he burns out soon

When I was a young teenager, after my uncle's divorce with his Ukrainian mail-order bride, she had lost custody on multiple counts of prostitution and child abuse, and it was decided my uncle was unfit to raise a child himself, due to a stunningly apparent lifelong mental vacancy. We adopted my cousin, it was naturally difficult. One night my father and mother were arguing, which she says they rarely do, and I hear her burst into her room, 'You made this happen', and the door slams again. So here I am, another basic bad day later, being driven to a local unattended high school by my mother, with my cousin in the backseat, crying her fucking ass off. We are 'taking her to the train station to send her away' because 'she said she doesn't like this family'. I am tasked with walking up to the school's front door, knocking on it, pretending to talk to a ticket man through the glass, and returning to say 'he said there aren't any more trains running today'. If if weren't for the train station being closed, you'd've already been gone, kid. If only they hadn't threw a wrench in our plans.
It was later decided my cousin would live with my grandmother, and my parents never argued about it again.

>>34368938
Found something to fight for.... Buddy?

M-D I need to return your things. I also want you to sit on my face.

I hate shitty pretentious essay videos on YouTube
I hate not being able to post on my computer because Jannies are too retarded to unblock my IP even though I literally sent them a feedback
I hate posting on a phone, god fucking dammit

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>>34369071
SEARCHING OUR HEARTS FOR SO LONG
BOTH OF KNOWING
LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

>>34369174
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maeGRZymGs

>>34369265
Where has this been all my godless life.

Hate being alone with my thoughts. Suicidal without SSRIs and exercise and suicidal with SSRIs and exercise. Heartbreak should be considered equal to murder. I wish I knew what was wrong with my endless need to ruminate. So lonely after teaching middle schoolers all day zero friends zero boyfriends, just me trying not to cry over a fake best friend. I know cheaters never feel bad but they always prosper.

I'm 28 and never been with a woman.
I'm a loser who works then plays video games and repeats. I don't know where to meet woman my age that won't spot me as a sperg immediately because of my lack of experience.

I think things will be alright.

There was a nigger at work today, who, on a second thought, was probably trying to prank me but he is too illiterate I couldn't understand a word he said or wrote
He ended up just humiliated himself and left after realizing this

This life is beyond evil. Evil evil evil evil evil. Entirely fucked up.

>>34369610
What did it do? Genuinely curious

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I want to accept Christianity but there are just so many implications to accept and mental gymnastics I would have to do that and it would be really hard to just easily swallow

>>34369696
What's tripping you up? I felt similarly but did end up converting.

>>34369668
He just asked some questions and asked for recommendations, but they weren't serious ones.
I couldn't understand a word he's saying, so he had to keep repeating what he said and I guess that killed whatever the joke was.
He asked me for a paper and tried to write it down but I only understand half of it, like I couldn't even tell which letter of the alphabet those are, but I pretended I did and asked some question to see if I got it right, which I clearly didn't.
He literally had to tell me it's a joke at one point because nothing was getting across, and it's painfully obvious it's because his English sucks.
Then he just left very frustrated.

>>34369715
I hope this don't come off as snarky or instigative and I hope you can understand that these are genuine feelings. I'll also have to make multiple posts since I have multiple reasons that can't really fit all in just one

I think one of my biggest issues is that slavery is permitted in the bible and the proponents of Christianity like to brush it off

A lot of the proponents of Christianity are eager to point out the flaws of other religions as a way to argue against them. They will (rightfully) look at the marriage of Muhammad and Aisha and say "look at how obviously wrong this is. How can anyone believe it". They will point out the barbarism of Islam and other religions and point out how the religion. They will look at the actions of the greek gods and say how tyrannical they are.

When it comes to their own religion, I can't help but feel they are very unfairly biased and give it so much leniency. If we were somehow able to take the majority of Christians and somehow find a way to have them look at a religion that is a carbon copy of Christianity and somehow prevent them from realizing it, they would look at the slaughter of babies and infants and the permission of slavery and sparing only virgin women in war as evidence that it is immoral and treat it like how they treat Islam or Hinduism

I cannot see how anyone can defend the slavery that was perpetrated by Israelites. People try to say things like how different it was from chattel slavery (even though the offspring of slaves were to be owned and could be inherited) and how they were freed every 7 years (this only applied to Israelite slaves) or how they were protected from abuse (The owners would not be punished for beating their slaves if they could get up after 2-3 days after being beaten).

All of it feels bad coming from a people originating from being slaves themselves. The worst excuse defense I've heard for biblical slavery is that it was all in the Old Testament so it doesn't matter

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>>34369696
Hope this helps

>>34369784
>>34369715
Then there's implications of reality. As someone who has a degree in Biology, it is really hard not to separate my view of reality from a scientific perspective.

I find it very hard to believe that lions were made the way they are and didn't evolve to be what they are, and that they were originally meant to be herbivores and that their lifestyle of predation is a result of the fall, and that all viruses and parasites are also a result of the fall and not the result of the fact that life will take shortcuts whenever it can and benefiting from other organisms, even at their expense, is a valid strategic way to live as an organism

Also the idea that angels and humans are genetically compatible really irks me the wrong way. This was something that God designed and I don't know how to interpret it

A major turnoff from religion as a kid was seeing how all the pastors spout stupid arguments against scientific findings that went against their beliefs. I know it isn't logical, but I find it very hard to consider someone a valid source of spiritual guidance if they are at best misled about science or at worst are lying about it

>>34369799
>>34369715
To continue on my gripes with reality, it's hard to see lust and sexual excitement as something supernatural. Humans, and all other organisms, have evolved for the purpose, whether it be direct or by proxy, of spreading their genes. It is hard to think that the biological urge to reproduce, and the feelings we get when we see erotic imagery, is anything but our evolutionary drive to reproduce getting stimulated and releasing chemicals that make our brain happy.

That being said, I do think that Christianity and a lot of other religions that see chastity as a virtue were memetically selected for when cultures clashed and that the amount of sex we see in today's media is at our detriment. I don't like how Christians politicians will deny scientific understandings and assert their beliefs on others, but I am disgusted with a lot of people who are secular.

I want society to be disgusted by how easy it is for kids to find porn. I want abortion to be recognized as the killing of another human being. I want people to not be afraid of saying that women are women and men are men

>>34369696
The bible is about accept yourself as a human being in your relationship with God. Seems overly simplistic, but every instance in the bible was when God showed up to show how humanity can be at its best through it all.

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Just fucking do what you gotta do

>>34369968
Oh, I will

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Hopefully some day the talented young nurse answers my grandmother's call that I have a serious issue being single and without a relationship, and that it needs to be addressed above the other patients even though the older ones need to be addressed more.

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This is some kind of staph, isn't it? Literally ever small scratch and nick I have on my hands has redness around it

I keep looking at my passport picture and what I look like now, I'm only 27 but I look like I've aged twenty years in 3.
My hair is fucking PLATINUM,, my beard has somehow gone blond. My body is killing me and I just can't get over the state of my life.

>>34370093
I don't think so.

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>>34370109
I have a weird breakout on my face that turned into a giant scab and they only leak pus, no blood, and behind my ears and under my chin

you are not the focus in my life
i attract positivity and good energy
i desire happiness, peace, love and light for myself . ݁+ ⊹

Remember what I taught you to know what is created to harm you, and everything will be alright if you make the right decisions away from who is doing it. Unfortunately you are in the snake pit currently but at least you can see "all of them" hissing now. The attempts to take advantage of you will most likely ramp up. Especially seeing the thread on this board about planning to do just that. See what was done just now and what was used to do it. Interesting how it is the same as you were told happened to you years ago and done by that same person who just did it.

>Good night, it's never just night I hate that

All you gotta do, is not give into OCD compulsions, because the more you do, the worse it gets, so try to stay calm and give it some time for those thoughts to fuck off, I know its hard but its possible. I believe in you.

Never had anything to do with mental disability. Only the truth. Hopefully you understand now that you witnessed him use your own voice to do exactly what I try to protect you from.

Whatever you deal with in person there, stay safe please.

My love,
that guy who sent you white chocolate pretzels, acne meds, and the bracelet.

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I recently got out of a 2 year relationship, and the shitty thing is that wasn't even what hurts the most.
What hurts the most is the girl I dated for 3 weeks after has basically cut me out and I can only assume "broke up" with me via ghosting.

My old girlfriend I was honestly just never into, I liked her as a friend and when she offered to be FWB I went with it cause I had been dry for 10 years. But I was never particularly attracted to her and I never really meshed well or had good chemistry with her, I was just a good boyfriend so she stayed, and she was just all I felt I could get so I stayed, but I had to end that eventually and when she started asking about marriage and kids I knew we had to break up. But at the end I knew it was always coming so it didn't really hurt to cut her out of my life.

But this new girl was almost 90% exactly what I wanted, she was cute, nearly exactly my type, and she had the cutest playful bratty personality that let me pamper and adore her. Most women I'm with don't let me treat them like a princess, they don't let me hold their hand as they get up or spoil them with affection, they're always self assertive and independent, which is fine on occasion but it just doesn't trigger that desire like this girl did. Not only that despite the bratty playfulness she still always tried to pay half and split costs, something that the independent girls never do...
And we just had such good chemistry and played off each other really well.
She did have some major red flags in her past, but the present was always great.

And it just hurts, in part because it didn't work out but in other parts because she's just essentially ghosted me and I'm left with all these unresolved feelings and unsurity if she's just gonna contact me out of the blue one week.

It sucks, after all these years I found exactly what I wanted and it just vanishes from my life for seemingly no reason at all.

Just fucked a hooker for the first time.
On a sex-tourism trip with some work buddies, so its not like it was unplanned or nothing.
Not a virgin either, but i dont fuck often.
Not sure how I feel. I feel kinda dirty (certainly won’t feel physically clean until i get back to the states and run a std test), but more so mentally.
Not losing sleep over it or nothing. Its just not a thing I thought I’d ever do.
The experience itself was… something. Just them showing up to the airbnb and getting straight to work, then promptly leaving after an hour, for $100, no questions asked. I would say sure I got my money’s worth.
I would be straight chillin’ if that was it, but now we’re going out again tonight (with the implication of buying another) and 2 more nights here. Not sure how I feel about how much more of that I want/need. I guess I’m here and never doing this kinda shit again, but the large introvert part of me is like ‘I nutted, I’m good to go home now’. Also I feel the expectation to keep doing it. I guess its a non-starter.

>>34370277
Your main ex sounds a lot like my 1st ex. It was mostly just puppy love, she was a virgin while I had been with a handful of people [we were both 19yo] so she got really attached really fast. Cried a lot about me seeing other people [we were not exclusive for months and I was seeing other people; she was not] until I eventually caved and became exclusive with her. Ended poorly, we didn't really click and she had some trauma I was not ready to date as a 19yo and we ended things. Glad you ended it with her too, being stuck in a relationship is mental hell.

But for your 2nd girl, man, her ghosting you just shows you who she really is. Not ready to be with someone. She got scared bc she caught feelings and is cleary not emotionally mature enough to handle them.

>She did have some major red flags in her past, but the present was always great.

This is key here. You knew early on that she has history [everyone does] but was it resolved? I honestly doubt it. Shit like that is hard to unpack, and even if you do it always lingers. I think you had rose-tinted glasses and ignored some of her red flags from what it sounds like.

Ultimately, her ghosting you says a lot more about her than it does about you. Keep your chin up man, sounds like you treated her great so keep that up. Best wishes.

>>34370301
Try to pick up a girl organically tonight, it's way more satisfying than having to pay for sex. I've never been to a hooker but I never get the appeal. $100 for risking getting an STD/scammed/robbed never sounds worth.

>>34370315
At the end of the day I know it was for the best, and while I was currently willing to ignore the red flags it definitely wasn't something I'd ignore forever.

The thing is though I do feel like this was a last opportunity for me kinda thing. I'm in my 30s now so I'm really running out of good options. So finding anyone good, let alone so specifically my type, isn't easy, especially in this shitty town.

I know it's her fault really and she is clearly going through her unresolved issues and mental trauma, but god damnit it hurts me so much too. I don't think I could have fixed her, but I could have at least loved her as long as we could make it work.

>>34370277
was there any indication prior to why she ghosted you?

I don't know why the themes of SOMA and what honestly is likely to be the ending of The Amazing Digital Circus upset me so much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUe7aCVNXC0

The idea of you, with all of your thoughts, dreams, ideas, ripped away from your body, your soul, your ethereal being and being made into something else, that is just... a manifestation of you, that is simply not.
Your Faustian spirit, imbued into something, for it to suffer, struggle, and fight, for nothing, it's hard to put exactly into words, but it really tugs on my heart strings too much.

>>34370301
I emailed an escort last week and didn’t even get a response from her lol

>>34370094
>t. eats steak 4 times per week

Legitimately wondering if some nicotine would actually help my stress.
>>34370277
>I was just a good boyfriend so she stayed, and she was just all I felt I could get so I stayed, but I had to end that eventually and when she started asking about marriage and kids I knew we had to break up. But at the end I knew it was always coming so it didn't really hurt to cut her out of my life.
I HATE that I know this feel, on both counts, the flame you fall head over heels for and knowing that the current status quo is/was okay, but you're simply dragging them along.
I'll be honest I hope to never do the latter again. I feel awful in a way that I even became that kind of person.

>>34370336
Hope is not lost. Glad you came to your senses and left before you got even more hurt.
However
You knew this person for 3 weeks and you were already falling for her? I think that's a big jump, you barely know anything about her and there's sure to be some things she had yet to tell you [and you likewise] that might have changed everything.

>>34370371
I wish I live in a shithole, I'd be lucky to eat properly every other day of the week.
My fucking country has been flooded with fucking banana boat NIGGERS and the economy is in the shitter
FUCKKKK GET ME OUT OF THE UK FUCKKK GET ME OUUUUUUUT AHHHHHH

>>34370376
Ameritard spotted?

>>34370373
> Legitimately wondering if some nicotine would actually help my stress.
No. You know that it wouldn’t. You just want an addiction to distract you.

>>34370378
Where on earth does an American use the term "UK" and "Banana Boat"?
The B O R I S W A V E raped my fucking 90% White town and now I'm forced to live beside smelly, fucking messy, retarded NIGGERS

>>34370348
Somewhat, she had slowed down on texting and communication in general but she still seemed into it she just had a really busy week supposedly... But then we had a really good date and everything seemed great again. But then she slowed down even more and had a giant mental breakdown over text, which I assume was a breakup but she never clarified and said we could meet up in person "later"
And from there it's basically been radio silence.

So I've resolved it to be a breakup, but I never actually got to talk it out with her. I just have a giant mental breakdown about her trauma.

>>34370374
>You knew this person for 3 weeks and you were already falling for her?
I fucking know, but I've like never felt this way about any of the girls I've dated.
I'm 100% sure it was temporary infatuation, but that was an infatuation I never feel for anyone anymore.

The closest was my first girlfriend, but that was also my first girlfriend and I was a dumb teenager.

>>34370381
Nicotine is the most retarded drug you can do, I feel happy and sick for 20 minutes before my body wants more. Meanwhile my brain is telling me I'm retarded for wanting more YET HERE WE ARE. At least coke makes you feel like goddamn Superman for 20 minutes

Why do they always slow down
Why is there always the slow down and then the disengage
I didn't change anything, it was great for a month and now she's pulling away
What is wrong with me, it always happens

>>34370386
This is going to sound twisted in a way, but with women, I seem to fall for ones with a certain "aura" to them, they only need to say a few words and you just *click* and know.
For me, when I fall for someone I fall for them really hard and in that, I'm thankful that I know that there are more women out there that can capture me like that. Even if it's taken me 3 years to get over the last girl who truly did that to me.
I think I like being bewitched in a way, I want to be someone who is simply stupidly in love with the sight of someone.

I wish I was younger to capitalise on it though, I'm not too old per se (20s), but I feel like I look 40.
>>34370389
>>34370381
Noted and Noted.

>>34370386
I think you still have an outside shot, give her 2-3 more days of space and dry-call her, maybe write down some notes on what to say, how you feel, your concerns about her etc. Basically try to keep the bridge open. I think if she burns it again you should detach yourself, girls like that are not worth the hassle

I haven’t felt love in over a decade

>>34370396
It's been over 2 weeks now, I asked today if she was dead or I'd send cops over and that got her to say she's alive.
But then she ignored everything else.

And now I'm some girl I met on an app's gay best friend applauding her for getting over her shitty relationship and sharing cake.

I don't know how that happened but at least she's good to talk to too.

>>34370416
Well she's keeping the bridge open I guess for now, I would still wait before sending anything. She's clearly still not 100% right.

Good convo like that is hard to find, even if it's platonic I love bullshitting with my female best friends. They can give good insight into things us chuds overlook

Being inherently nerdy is bad. Being nerdy is like being the deformed runt that was intended to naturally die off. Don’t be nerdy, and for the love of god, don’t be an otaku.

One more thing to add, get over geeky girls. They’re horrible, broken people just like your nerdy ass. Have you ever seen a blonde with a geek? Of course you haven’t. You see geeky men having to settle for less such as fatties, mixed girls, and downie-looking Asians.

If you stop being inherently geeky, your life will improve. Stop being the geeky dweeb guy listening to anime OSTs.

Stop
Being
A
Dork

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>>34370458
You can still be attractive as that, and still attract a Megan Fox. It just takes a different direction through it all.

I wish she loved me that much

>>34370465
Hollywood isn’t real life. I never said stop being a smart man with skills. I said stop being a geek. Stop being a gamer. Stop being an otaku. Stop being an introvert listening to soundtracks. Stop being a dweeb.

>>34370458
Somewhat agree. Growing up nerdy/introverted myself I had to learn a lot social cues and really put myself out there in public enough to see what works and what does not. Naturally extroverted people don't have to do any of that. They don't overanalyze every little interaction and see what works and what doesn't. They just kinda know it.
Also who wants a blonde? They're all entitled and high-maintenance. At least a geeky girl isn't hollow inside.

>>34370458
Being nerdy doesn't mean you can't also be charismatic and fashionable.
I work in the tech industry and there's a ton of guys with really attractive wives, and they also work out a ton and actually go out and talk to people too. But they also play video games and talk about scifi fantasy shit all the time too.

The problem with nerds / introverts is they take the label and refuse to improve themselves. You can be those things and have those interests and not be a total fucking loser.

>>34370500
This. Being into what you like is not a bad thing inherently. It's letting those hobbies consume your entire personality that is bad. Admittedly a lot of nerds/introverts refuse to change but those guys are lost causes anyways, they're the guys that win every yugioh local yet smell like raw sewage 24/7. Meanwhile I get 5th at my local and know what a vagina feels like. And not a fat one [no hate tho] [well a little]

>>34370495
>At least a geeky girl isn’t hollow inside
Quite the opposite. They’re the ones who were usually molested or going to therapy for a personality disorder. Geeky girls are the ones who are most-likely to he LGBT. Geeky is basically another subculture lumped in with the alternative types.

Those really pretty blonde girls into mainstream things? They’re normal and everyone else is broken. They’re the ones who get to have kids and live in suburbia with a handsome man. That wedding photo taken in a farm field may be a massive cliche, but they’re married with kids, while the manic pixie gets worse and worse.

>>34370516
Again who wants to live the boring suburban hellscape of a simulation they call "life?" That shit would drive me mad waking up to the same old ran-through chalkie hag every day. I lived in the PNW for awhile and the alt girls there are FINE. You do have to sift for the non-retarded ones but it is possible.

>>34370492
Dude you're full of crap again. You can be an attractive nerd. My oldest brother had 10 long term girlfriends in his life and was at parties 50% of the time. And frankly I don't even think I'm that unattractive myself I'm more like a 3-7 and an 8.5 if I am at my best from it all. I'm not KHHV at all and I have had a woman admit her love to me. You're full of shit, and you're only doing this because you think you are in reality. I hang out with jocks too and they wouldn't like some guy who bases his entire personality on fucking game in life.

missing u big time M

>>34370492
And it's called being a relaxing cup of coffee or cup of tea.

>>34370544
This. Glad not everyone in this thread is socially retarded like this guy

>>34370532
The reason people hate Becky the basic bitch is because she was upper class and came off as “mean” because she wanted a healthy boy just like her. She’s the girl people want but cannot have. At the same time, when she was just a little girl, she was normal just like you when you were five or six years old. As a teenager or young adult, she lived a healthy life with hobbies, activities, and a social life. She did everything right. Most importantly, she’s happy and doesn’t have to worry about trivial shit like philosophy. Her male counterpart is also happy. He lives organically instead of living in his head all day. He’s a man of action who actually does something with his time. Meanwhile, the nerdy alternative guy is sad, depressed, and angry with poor health, either obese or underfed.

>PNW
Why on earth would anyone want a crust punk? You even said you have to sift through trash just to find maybe one tolerable exception. That’s not healthy. That’s not normal. And alternative girls, regardless of which subculture, have been known to sleep around and were naive at one point to get taken advantage of. They’re the ones who are polyamorous disasters, not the basic girl at Starbucks.

>>34370554
Being a nerd can be a great thing. You have a wide amount of interests and try to lay back and enjoy life. We may not party at clubs but we party with each other in multiplayer games.

>>34370555
>she’s happy and doesn’t have to worry about trivial shit like philosophy.
HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY LIKE THAT. BECKY LIVES IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE EVERY WAKING MOMENT. THAT IS GENUINELY SAD.

>been known to sleep around and were naive at one point to get taken advantage of.
And you think chalkie over here is going to be any better? I guarantee you during her college years she was getting ran through while she was"discovering herself" or some instagram bullshit like that. At least the art hoe can own it. Plus she knows how to fuck unlike little miss sunshine who can't suck dick to save her NPC life. You clearly have never been up here since a lot of girls here are perfectly normal and sweet and not crazy like the stereotypes. Plus there are plenty of normies here that actually HAVE READ NIETZCHE AND DESCARTES AND HAVE MORE THAN 1 BRAIN CELL

The worst thing about booze and weed and other vices like porn and internet addiction is that they work. They successfully alleviate anxiety. Feeling anxious and stressed all the time sucks and these crutches effectively numb the sensation. It’s so easy to just keep abusing all of this stuff.

Cutting back on this shit is hard. I have to sit there with myself and actually feel my emotions. I’m compelled to face the things I’ve spent my life running from. I need to be stronger if I want to avoid falling back into those old destructive patterns.

>>34370567
Were you abused as a kid? Be honest. It sounds like you want to trauma bond with another fuck up.

>>34370574
Weed is the boredom hack. Literally everything is more entertaining while fried off your ass. But that's the problem. When you return to baseline all you can think about is "Man, this would be a lot more lit if I was lit rn" Been a stoner for awhile and I definitely have lost interest in a lot of hobbies bc of weed

Alcohol is retarded though, shit just makes you fat and retarded for little/no satisfaction. Hangovers feel like shit too. No thanks

>>34370576
Literally has nothing else to say lmao have fun in Cleveland or whatever flyover state has the most hick chalkie NPC blonde whores that all look and think the exact same.

Fell down the monkey hate rabbit hole. I started off on the side of the monkeys and now I've realized I'm on the side against them. How do I stop feeling like this? I think I have some resented anger deep inside me and it comes out whenever I see helpless small animals. Thank God I never did anything to any animal, but I worry about these emotions and behavior. To be clear this isn't sexual it's visceral anger and disgust like when you stomp on a cockroach and feel good that you killed a pest. I don't want to equate monkies to roaches and I feel extreme guilt and disgust after viewing the type of shit you see boomers post on FB about the baby monkies crying over not being able to drink milk. I don't know what I'm even trying to say here. I'm extremely nervous about being a evil person and I've blocked and reported all of those accounts on FB. I don't want to be evil or sadistic and I need a better avenue for my anger

>>34370597
Had us in the 1st half not gonna lie

>>34370585
Disagree slightly on alcohol. Yes it makes you fat and retarded and it’s literal poison and hangovers are terrible. But the satisfaction of being drunk is absolutely there for me. It numbs me.

>>34370600
Wdym?

>>34370601
I guess yeah it helps you forget about shit and not feel anything for a night. But that's literally a damage boost. Eventually you wake up sober [hopefully] and all the negative emotions bring you back to square 1. It's a very fleeting feeling, that numbness. While it works right now I know deep down the booze is just a bandaid for shit I actually have to confront within

>>34370606
I thought you were talking about nigs for a second there

>>34370609
Yep exactly.

>>34370611
Have you tried reading things without ghetto subtext? Not all of us are that guy you met at a party who sound sarcastic and then did henious shit. A lot of us are just awkward who just want to hang out with people and enjoy life.

>>34370614
I haven't actually. I am perpetually in the beanerville I grew up in as a kid. Hard to shake lmao apologies

>>34370613
Yeah I don't drink nearly as much as I used to. It's still fun when I go out with friends and shit like that but the days or nursing a Fireball handle alone in my room are long past me. 3 standard drinks MAX

>>34370636
Any tips? How’d you get the discipline to quit the heavy drinking?

>>34370625
You and most people who are gen z and millenials need to cut that shit out. A lot of us autistic people have our hearts fucking bleeding everyday hoping to just get through even a drive thru interaction without some NT associating us with a horrible person they found on the news or their past. It's profiling and it is done because people just associate us with people who need to be corrected and fixed all the time. Like when the Hell is someone gonna just say we are perfect as ourselves for once. I accept you anon as perfect of yourself. I don't fucking go through your texts, find some insignificant flaw, fucking blow it out of proportion and make some gaslighting attack on you about me. I don't pull this fucking game where I act like you are entitled and haven't been through life. I treat you like someone who has been through the damn trenches of WW1. I don't anon, I think maybe there comes a time when it seems like you are a hypocrite for just wanting a day without any trouble and you give the people who want it the least the most amount of trouble because you are grossed out by how different they are.

>>34370625
I mean if you find fault in everyone all the time. Are you really the one who doesn't want to be looking for trouble? It sounds to me you want to hate things all the time and find pleasure in it.

And I don't know. It seems like we all go through this everyday where everyone feels threatened by some bizarre difference I have and they obsess about it until they perfectly pin point everything to feel relaxed about it. Calling me paranoid for calling them out, but that is fucking paranoid right there.

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You ever see an animal backed into a corner that you were sure would just keel over and die?
Of course not, you fucking faggot. You couldn’t even understand why it would lash out in that circumstance because cause and effect is beyond your brown coded Egyptian brain. Explains why you flunked out of a post secondary diploma program.
Tyson you’re a fucking liar and a coward, worth less than the fucking dogshit under my boot heel. You should kill yourself after the next failed emr exam and I can explain to your therapist how much of a faggot liar you are

>>34370639
Well it started in 2020 when I was trying to get healthy for the 1st time. I was a fat retard drinking every weekend at parties bc that was "the cool thing to do in college"
When all that got shut down though I realized parties and alcohol are just filling the void. They don't actually make me happy. I barely even remember most of those nights save the photos my friends took of me absolutely blackout drunk and covered in vomit/piss. I hated seeing myself like that and wanted to not see that shit ever again.

>>34370642
It is not my problem nor my obligation to cater to your lack of social skills. It sucks, but that's life man. Trust me I was there too in the trenches. The very 1st girl I asked out didn't even interact with me when I spoke aloud. She just kept walking like I was some bum asking her for change. I really do think it's a social muscle, the more you go in public and learn the better you will be.

>>34370625
It's fucking miscommunication anon, and you do it because you never knew what life was like for the nerd in the class, because you were afraid the class clown making fun of him wouldn't let you to his party if you did.

>>34370654
>>34370673

The average person in public is lost in their own little world. They are not paying attention to you, and if they are it's only momentary. Sounds like you are way in your own head man

>>34370678
Dude I still go to ygo tournies lmao I will always be a nerd at heart, I just had the willpower to actually learn the rules of society and not mope and bitch about how "life is stacked against me" You can either do something about it or stay in the trenches. Your choice to stay down everyday is not helping you man, get out for your own sake

HELP IM BEING PERSECUTED BY THE JAPANESE... HELP!

>>34370725
Just go chingchongbingbong at them and they will all be your friend.

Time to go find that Shelby.

>>34370725
GAIJIN HOME GO

>>34370119
Probably fine. Doctor. Probably normal cuts.

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>>34364857
I'm having a very difficult time accepting that I will never be a professional musician again. I did it for about seven years, then got sick of the grind and rejections. But that nagging feeling never goes away. I'm just really pissed off that I never got to be in a cool, original band. Only top 40 cover bands. Now I'm too old and fat to even get anyone to email me back about joining their band. My ad has been up for a month. I used to get called within hours or days back when I was young. Now. Nothing. My best friend finally asked me to make a new band with him, but we live 1,200 miles apart. Also, I'm pretty sure his wife is jealous of me taking time away from her daily demands of him. I have no money to move across the country right now, and it seems like that will never change. I'm pretty much in the lowest mental state I've been in ever. My dick only gets like 70% hard now. The internet has given me a serious case of ADHD. I can't even watch a movie anymore without checking Google fives times about set pieces, actors, years and locations of filming etc. I haven't gotten laid without paying for it in years. I can't stop drinking booze. I'm hungover at least three times a week now. I'm going to start a new business with someone this week, but I already know both of us are gonna quit as soon as we realize how much work is actually involved.

lesbians are actually lowkey geniuses

i cannot believe fucktard elon musk has had his dick in Grimes
she's so fucking hot, it's unfair

>>34370798
How old are you? I'm 25 and have nevee been in a band despite always wanting to and training a bit with my one old bud. If imagine it's too late

>>34370803
No they're paranoid liberals who when they see a man doing a simple thing freak out and write a twitter rant demanding people follow through what they say word for word. Essentially people with 10 charisma but low on the function of empathy. I know women are good, but they irritate me on the idea that they can't just relax and enjoy being around men. They literally fuck the shit out of the same gender, but when a man shows up it's like Hell for some reason. I can never get it.

>>34364857
People are so fucking stupid man. You have a great idea and they just stand in front of you drooling. Or they sabotage it because they secretly hate themselves, and thus everything they touch must be like them! What a fucking state of affairs. Seriously it is insane to me a good idea will look them in the eye and they'll "send it committee for review". Or just other "durr sorry can't do that" attitude. It makes me so fucking proud that I'm not one of these stubborn faggot retards. I will embrace a new good idea, I will make the right choices, and I will coast past these motherfuckers in life and they'll be wondering where the hell they went so wrong. I'll pick myself up again and again, and when I move on they'll be wondering why the hell they didn't listen. I LOVE people who can just make a simple fucking decision and not rehash it a million times. Have some fucking intuition. Same people that help themselves to some chocolate or chips whenever they like, the potbelly morons. I can clearly see how you form decisions in your head. Hmm, maybe Lays for today... Another busy day being a fucking retard... Hurrr durrrrrrrrrrr I am reeetaaaardeeed *frantic hand gestures*

>>34370806
Mid at best, she's also been shared around like a lollipop. Add the woke commie faggotry and I'm out.

>>34370829
And I'll be happy and motivated enjoying the little things in life while you freak out because things struck down on you.

I doubt you know this, but it takes balls to be as dumb as me. :)

Faced with potential evidence of some of the terrible things I wished upon you actually happening, I don't feel vindicated or good about it at all. Pretty dogshit terrible feeling. I don't know what to do with this feeling now, considering how long I have spent raging about everything up until now. I hope you are ok.

>>34364857
About a year ago I found out my cousin started dating someone, I haven’t really seen her much since, I don’t know if they’re still together, but it really bothers me. I’ve tried to get over my feelings for her but they never go away, not like we’d be able to reproduce anyway, but the thought of ruining the bond we’ve had is what scares me from telling her anything, even when it’s all I think about when I’m with her.

depressed because I want human connection and everyone else is a thousand miles away, and I think I've been on my own too long and become weird and bitter, so they'll never like me.

From constant messages throughout the day, wishing sweet Goodnights to each other, saying you can't wait to be my wife telling me you love me.... To the coldest of shoulders. One word answers. Basically forgetting I exist. Why are women like this

>>34370872
Like what?

Everyone at my job thinks I'm a weird creep since I'm so awkward and retarded and I just hate the feeling of being here so much. I'm not mad at them it's clearly my fault but I just feel like such a scumbag every second being in here but once they realize I'm leaving they're gonna pretend like everything's good so they don't have to pick up my workload

>>34371264
Doubt they think that way anon.

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I just found out that my crush does like me but apparently his parents are super stuck up and want him to marry someone rich. I'm honestly shocked because his dad has been particularly nice to me

>>34370834
> Add the woke commie faggotry and I'm out.
Because capitalism has made all our lives so great huh faggot?

>>34371272
First day I saw a message from my coworker to another when asked to describe me that was just in all caps "WEIRD"

>>34371285
He's probably not that interested I guess

>>34370798
Drink more water

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXJXLq1lN7U

The last class before Easter break was just cancelled. It's only once a week, and it's the only place I meet the last person I can meet somewhat regularly. So now it's two full weeks until the next time I can reasonably expect social interaction with anyone outside of family. Every other regular social contact has been lost, she's the last one, and now I don't even get to talk to her one last time before holidays.
I'm crying.

i have very little desire to do much other than eating, drinking, sleeping, playing games, watching videos, masturbating and sometimes talking to friends and family. i didn't used to be this way.

the majority of people would shun me for this, but in truth, i think this is the truest way to live. if you knew me well irl, you could definitely induce some shame in me for my desires/lifestyle, but that's okay. I can get over it, and i don't think it really matters anyway. we're just machines at the end of the day.

could i be happier? probably. could i be healthier? most definitely. but i want this, and i'm tired of pretending like it's not okay. this world has become increasingly meaningless to me anyway, and it's not like i was asked to be born.

i would be upset if i died, because i'd be missing out on things. but i too have the urge to just phase out of existising and sleep forever.

>>34371082
She wrote off the things that happened to as a kid as "just get over it" so I told her essentially I hope the same things happened to her ie get raped etc. Really evil thing to say, no excuses, just hurt trying hurt them back.

>>34371382
happened to me*

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When I was a child my father would adopt foster children to live with us. He did it because I was an only child and he wanted to help other kids who had unfortunate living situations.
Anyway, this kid, lets call him Johnny, was 15 and I was either 9 or 8 at the time and I remember one night he touched me on the butt and had me sit on his lap as a sort of "game" or whatever. This just came back to me in memory but I didnt say anything at the time because I didn't know any better.
The worse part is I have no idea where Johnny is. The last known location of where I could find him was at a Burger King but that was almost a decade ago.
What should I do? I know his real name in full so maybe I can do something with that like spamfuck his mailbox with weird porn mags.

>>34371290
They're just asshole normalfags that'll never understand you. They think they're better than you, they're not. Don't let people like that ever get to you.

Trans people are a symptom of the corrupt and despicable world we live in. they are not a different sex than what they were born as, they just believe this because they are too mentally ill to cope with reality.

I'm not well.

>>34371478
everything is like this man idk why are you guys having epiphanies about gays and trans all the time
gays and mentally ill troons have been around the dawn of time
the only thing im interested in is why u care about the fags? unless you wanna somehow eradicate them stop normalising them existing by giving them a space and argue with them on the same level let them die out

I only have eyes for her, it's always been that way, even though it's been years. There's so much garbage here that has nothing to do with me. I just chill outside of it and I'm having a good time. I hope she finds her way out of the fog and doesn't get bit by the "snakes" (singular)

I'm so anxious my heart feels like it's going to explode.

>>34371678

Wasn't Mike banned yesterday? If this post is still up does that mean someone is larping as Mike to post to someone else entirely? Am I actually going schizo? I spend too much time in these threads

I can't get mad that my girlfriend talks to other guys because I talk to other girls too, so what's my problem?

Europeans and northern Africans act like America is the only population that deserves their oppression, proving that leftists are still dumb as fuck. Trump's approval rating is literally 37%. Less than half of Americans like what he's doing and the election was a near 50/50 split. and we're still constantly blamed for every individual evil that the government throws our way. They say they hate our deportation policies, but that's only because they don't consider immigrants "Americans". You see, if they were American, they would be bad people and the deportations would make sense. But they're not Americans, so you need to be nice.

On top of that all of their countries are making a shift towards misogyny and anti-immigration policies themselves. Pretty soon every western bitch is going to be barefoot in the kitchen against their will and every brown person will be shoved down into the global south.

You know who aren't total fuckholes and have the nuance to approach this with? people from Latin America. If even Canadians are more retarded than Mexicans about this.

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I'm so unbelievably pissed and annoyed with my wife. She's constantly putting herself in the hospital. Sometimes it's not her fault. Sometimes it is. I've been in there so many times over the last 2 years I know the layout, and last night was the stupidest yet, because she felt something break and cause her a lot of pain just from shitting. It turned out to not be life-threatening, but we were in this filthy ass ER until 5 in the morning and I have spots on my hands that are really itchy, sore and dry. The whole time I'm in there the hallway is just filled with these sleeping bums that looked like death, couldn't tell if they were all just drug users just don't get a room for overnights, because there were plenty of empty rooms, and we're in this place, again, because she somehow managed to injure herself while taking a shit. Dropped my phone twice and tried sanitizing it with hand sanitizer and a paper towel. I'll be even more pissed if I get a staph infection from all of this.

I can't even help being selfish about it, because the same woman, who read me all of my rights because I tried to steal a fucking hot cookie off the sheet, ended up slipping last year with a pot full of hot oil. Burned her leg terribly. She goes on a week-long recovery period for her wisdom teeth this winter, and just when she's about to go back to work and give me a moment's peace, she breaks her fucking foot carrying a laundry basket. Mrsa, and Pneumonia the year before that, the MRSA coming from her mom's filthy house which was finally the push I needed for us to not fucking stay there when we visit anymore (because the fact that cigarette smoke literally fucked my sinuses up for days every time wasn't sufficient).

She keeps saying you're not mad at me right, I understand if you are, and I'm just like not at all, because what I really want to say would start a fight, and it's not even fair for me to blame her.

>>34371478
They’re really not. They’re just a different kind of human and predate all of us. For more clarity as to what’s happening see the left handedness population “rise” phenomenon.

>>34371894
Because I AM mad. I'm mad that she's not only fat, but has the audacity to turn it into a giant fucking pity party and soul-searching conversation on a weekly basis. I'm mad that her being fat kills her sex drive and self-confidence. I'm mad that the morons at work keep asking me to pick up days because their hiring system is untenable. I'm mad that I turn up in a hospital and a couple of labs that don't find anything and don't fix any of the chronic symptoms I'm having run me 600 bucks because I've got a bunch of FUCKING CUNTS for insurers and single payer can't put these people out of a job soon enough.

I just want a pizza.

Everything feels beyond fucking over and I can't even articulate why. I don't enjoy anything, my life is completely meaningless and I am all alone. Nothing is worth doing and I'm just waiting for the time to pass. For what? When my last shipment arrives I'm hanging myself in the woods because I can't take it anymore

>>34371915
I used to believe in God but I can't anymore, there's just nothing

>>34370878
Yuck..

I hope you all feel a little better soon. Sending positive energy your way.

>>34370834
Where in that sentence do you see the word "capitalism" Are you retarded? Genuinely. I can hate communism & capitalism at the same time. 2 things caan be true at once. Jesus fuck

>>34371290
1st impressions are big but not everything, just stick to small talk/neutral topics for awhile till they forget/see you as "normal"
>>34371974
Why?

>>34371436
This

I feel unsuccessful and unhappy even tho I have a okay life, a place to live and some friends. But idk feels lonely no matter what I do. I even have been joining orgies just to see if it's sex stuff that is missing from my life, it's not. But I think I want a deeper relationship, been single for 10 years or something idk. One night stands and friends with benefits do not feel that hole (you know what I mean). I have trying to get in to a relationship with both boys and girls and am unsuccessful. I tried different hobby's like cars, gaming, music, drawing, going on trips and all I have left is lots of debt and my finances are in ruins. Now I sit in my home play games, watch movies and porn while day drinking. Idk I guess I deserve it at this point. So tired of seeing people my age and younger at least look happy. Almost 30 now. Idk do I just quit my job and move somewhere else and start over?? Fuck idk. All I do is just daydream about what I could have done different years ago. I regret everything I did in my 20s basically. Now that I found out what I want to do I guess it's to late. I just feel stupid and dumb and that I deserve whatever happens to me for throwing away my life and not doing what I wanted to when I had time and the possibility was there. Fuck anxiety or whatever it is that stopped me. Nothing I want more in life then go back to when I was 16 years old and do what I actually wanted to do but was to scared of judgement. Probably common as fuck to feel like this

i am loved
i am clear minded
i repel negativity
the universe has good intentions for me
im grateful for another day
i attract what i desire and want . ݁+ ⊹

this is your daily reminder to NEVER EVER get close to bpdemons unless you're having sex with them and then immediately moving abroad under a different name
i should have listened to literally everyone i know when they told me not to do it

>>34372046
Be nice to her.

>>34372059
you will never be enough for her
be nice to yourself instead

arfid, asd, mdd, multiple behavioural addictions, depression. if you know what these are, you know that one of them alone can disrupt your life significantly. but i have all 5 of these things. and despite how 'rare' this makes me as a human, i never really have come to terms with just how alien I am to the random people i interact with.

i don't even know if i want to be treated, or healed. i think these 5 things define me, and make a large part of who i am. i enjoy the foods i do, i enjoy the way i think, i enjoy daydreaming, i enjoy my 'drugs' and i enjoy feeling sorry for myself. now how is it that can be true and i still feel embarrased over it?

>>34372046
Shut up, loser.

>>34372069
You can try.

>>34372046
BPD girls deserve love too.

>>34372046
Run faster, before they catch you

>Book tattoo appointment two months ago
>Let artist know what I want and ask him if he can do it
>He tells me he can and it's no problem
>Today he tells me it's above his skill level and he cant
Bruh, whats the fucking point

>>34372151
At least you won't have to disfigure yourself now.

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Fucking. I think the thing I hate most about making ongoing, constantly updating projects is about how lonely the road is.
You barely get any real feedback, meanwhile one dipshit with more advertising power than you pulls something similar out of his ass and just gets more popularity in a day than all the popularity you had to work a years for.

>>34372132
>>34372141
I pity you
you have a tough lesson yet to learn