around six months ago I found out about my boyfriend’s porn addiction. he knew that I wasn’t comfortable about it and yet he went along with it whilst lying the entire relationship. when I found out, he painted it as if he was just watching regular stuff, never paid for it, and it was just two people fucking type content and not OF style. He also deflected onto me and said that it was because we had developed relationship issues in which I was upset about his instagram following of egirls (he claimed it was before we were together). A couple months ago, I found out that he was doing it the entire time and saving OF girls on twitter, buying porn games while we were together, and had 7+ subscription sites before we met. he says that he just can’t get off to photos, and that he was too shy to ask for videos (I literally do whatever he wants). I love and forgive him but I just feel so resentful. I’m skinny, I eat right, I work out, I’m decently attractive yet an overweight man has the nerve to tell me that photos of me aren’t enough to look at? I just feel so ugly and as if he isn’t really attracted to me. his type is white goth/egirls and im literally Asian and emo lmao. We live together and we’re planning a future but I don’t wanna feel hideous anymore. how do I get rid of this feeling? It feels so refreshing when goodlooking guys try to talk to me in a “well atleast someone appreciates the way I look” way but I feel like a terrible person.
>bait so stacked that it's just chumdamn fine effortsomeone count the flags
One does hope he's now your ex-boyfriend.
men have no need for pornif they have a competent sexual partnerin short, if you actually cared for this man you wouldn't be so terrible in bedthis is YOUR faulttypical woman, avoiding responsibility and blaming others for a mess she created
what your bf does on his alone time is not your fucking problemstop being a nosy bitch and act like a proper womaneither learn how to satisfy him or let him fuck other women
>I forgive himHe hasn't stopped the behavior, and you still forgive him?>I feel resentfulYeah I don't think you actually forgive him lol
Imo using porn while being together is cheating. I know with my girlfriend I wouldn't be using porn while dating.
>>34367446I still use it, but Ill never pay for it. My gf and I have different libido levels and we both know havr the agreement that because we dont always line up, we still have the right to satisfy our own needs without the other.that being said, though, I think it's kinda weird to be spending money on porn if you're in a relationship. I wouldn't do it, personally. Money is a shared asset.At least, it is shared between me and my gf.
Men built this habit from being alone a long time. The virtual girlfriend has been there and gave them comfort. The real girlfriend they don't know if they'll truly be there all the time. Notice how ashamed he feels of going to porn as it is a sign like with me we do it to deal with loneliness. In all honesty I bet he truly feels you are enough and there is a limitation to what the pornstars can be seen doing on the screen. You are the infinite possibilities your boyfriend could have. Yeah some bimbo he got off to barely is as fulfilling as the lovely sex you and him shared together. He's probably just lived a mostly alone life and doesn't know how to open himself to replacing you with the bimbo. Here is the best thing you can do to show your humanity you are better than the naked bimbos on his computer, ask him how he is doing and offer to spend time with him.
And ya'know be eye to eye with him and stop trying to be his mom.
>>34366946>I love and forgive himWhy?
>>34367584Because deep down we'd do the same for you had you had an erotic yaoi addiction. We'd do the same with all of the crushes you have on other men in our lives. There is no inequal treatment.
>>34367540You're openly cheating on your girlfriend and there's no understanding about that. You're not faithful and that's that.
>>34366946Single porn addict here to help give you his perspective and how his looking at porn does not mean he doesn't appreciate the way you look. I'm addicted to porn because I've been single for a very long time. If I had a girlfriend, maybe if we had a lot of sex I'd not care about the porn as much. If he says it started before you got together, it is probably the truth.As far as what kind of porn he is watching, that doesn't matter. It doesn't reflect on you. The important part is that he isn't paying for it. I'm addicted, but not to the point of paying because I am very good at finding free stuff. Paying for porn is a real problem and should be your relationship ultimatum. I do believe that looking at other girls when I have a girl is disrespectful. I also believe that looking is a natural male urge. His continued looking does not necessarily mean he isn't attracted to you. I'll use an offensive food metaphor because it'll make sense. He has rice, he doesn't want rice all the time. He can like rice, but some days he wants bread, or beef. Wanting something different sometimes does not mean that the rice isn't good.>Can't get off to photosThis doesn't mean that photos of you aren't good enough. This means that videos of you are better than photos. Photos are hard to finish to because a big part of male stimulus is motion.>Too shy to ask for videosTranslation: He was afraid of offending you. Just because you know that you'll do what he wants, doesn't mean he does. And there is a limit for both sides. Porn has lead us to look at unrealistic standards. For him, he is looking at really good looking 10/10 white goth egirls. For you, it feels nice when someone who isn't overweight compliments you.One thing you should do is let him know that him looking at other women, makes it feel like he doesn't appreciate how you look and that if he wants videos from you (and you're okay with sending him some) that you will do soPorn is lust and lust is not love.
>>34367591>relationship ultimatiumWhen I say that. I don't mean dump him right away if you find he's buying porn. But talk to him and ask him what you need to do to help him stop buying porn. You want him to feel like you're helping him to save money, not that he needs to hide it from you or you'll dump him. But you do need to have your limits too. Boundaries like this are tough because it can lead to hiding the habit because you don't want to disappoint or anger your loved one or are afraid that they may leave you due to your addiction.
He is very clearly a porn addict and puts these other girls ahead of who you are, doesn't care for you at all enough and makes an excuse that this is for his libido or bullshit like that. No he's in porn addict and he's clearly choosing them over you
>>34367605But it's flat, on a screen, and empty.
>>34367612There's so many excuses to make, it's still porn addiction and choosing some other bitch over his girl because of his addiction. It's cheating plain and simple
>>34367614You come off as too rigid.
>>34367616It's the same thing my girl told me. Poor addiction is bad. Choose her or porn. If you choose porn you are cheating
>>34367620It's fixed by not being rigid.
>>34366946get gid at sex you retard. The average guy is satisfied with sex once every 3 days, less than that and it's mental torture. It's like keeping a parrot and being mad at the poor bird plucking.
>>34367588I'm a guy, but whatever.
>>34367669It's easy decision between the person you love and porn. If you choose porn over the person you love then clearly they mean less to you than the porn does.
>>34366946The basic problem here is the fact that he thinks he has sexual needs that *must* be met, and that it is acceptable for him to lie to you to make that happen. Think carefully about whether you want to be with a man who thinks that way. Ask yourself what the implications are in terms of him cheating on you.
Not the op but maybe this is relevant, what if he does not buy porn but makes porn for others to buy? He's an artist and it always makes me conflicted when I see his art, like I know he spent a lot of time developing his skill but I feel like I can't match up to his ideals.
How do you find out about finding out?
>>34367933NTA you clearly have a mental problem maybe go check a psy the world isn't that simple
>>34368275This. Break up with him now or he will never get over it.
>>34366946https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/34156833/#q34157785Is it the same...Anyway it's not so much omgee does he really like you or not, you probably are ugly enough that he's just with you cuz he can't get betterBut that's what's kinda the point, why are you with some overweight loser who spends hard earned bucks and wastes time on gooning to slop content likeThat's equally your fault for really considering that subhuman to be equal level to you. If that's the case then congratz on ur matchLosers
>>34367727Like he makes the porn himself? He stars in it? Or are you saying g he runs a studio and hires people to perform? Two different scenarios. Can u provide more context pls?
